


in time you'll see

by khrysallis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 156,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3775870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khrysallis/pseuds/khrysallis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Imperial Palace!AU) At twenty three, Yixing is struggling with his preparations to sit for the Imperial Examinations in hopes of wielding the power to change the country. At twenty three, Yixing meets Yifan, and finds himself thrown into a world full of deceit, backstabbing, and darkness against his will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An idea that sparked in me from reading their CLBS recording fanaccounts, where Kris was the Empress and Luhan was the Emperor, lol. (Actually a shameless excuse to write my OT3, whoops). I don't know how frequently I'll be updating this, but I'll definitely attempt to finish this through my busy work schedules :)
> 
> A note of warning, might have clichéd elements along the way, hah. Also possible historical inaccuracies.
> 
> !!!! PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT CERTAIN CHAPTERS ARE RATED

Zhang Yixing wakes up from his sleep with a violent shudder, his head slipping right off the hand that was cradling it mere moments ago. He shudders again from the cold before he's truly awake, and he stretches a little to work out the kinks in his muscles before he hastily gets up to shut the windows. Winter has gotten chillier this year, he laments to himself as his hand rubs at the back of his very stiff neck. Judging by the moonlight streaming in through the cracks of his windows and the slits in the door, it's already late into the night, and Yixing wonders just how long had he been asleep.  
  
It's a little longer before he realises that the only light source in his room had burnt out, and that the coal stove by the table is no longer crackling with fire, which explains the chilliness of his room. His mother is going to be upset if he falls ill again. He sighs and looks around for matches, lighting up the candle when he finds them before starting up a small fire in the stove again. Only when he's basked in the warmth from the coal stove does Yixing rest easy, taking a seat on his cooling wooden chair and facing his disorderly stack of books on the table with a slight frown.  
  
Another sigh – this time a burdened one – escapes his lips. The days are dwindling in number, and he's gradually getting closer till the day of the Imperial Exams with so much material left to pore over. It's a yearly event, the Exams, but when Yixing glances at the stack of books he has gone through, and at the other stack that is waiting for him, he can't help but wonder if anyone will ever be completely ready to face these exams, even if they had a lifetime to prepare for it. Nevertheless, it is a very important affair in China; if one manages to achieve brilliant results in them, getting their names into the top three ranks nationwide, then they would be well on their way to fame, wealth, and power.  
  
At this, Yixing takes another look at his room, and by extension, the rest of his home. It is by no means rundown, but it is a far cry from the houses of wealthier families. He is not complaining about it, however; living in poverty has its blessings, and Yixing has long since learned how to be content with the simplest pleasures of life. Still, it does not stop him from dreaming of providing a better life for his parents. They have suffered enough, manning a store to send him to school, when they had first learned what a bright child he is, and it is high time Yixing fulfilled his responsibilities as a filial son.  
  
Besides, he isn't oblivious to the weariness on his parents' features whenever they ask him about his plans, should he fail to obtain a good placing on the Imperial Exams. He has missed it for three consecutive years due to his ill health, incurring more costs than really necessary – more than it is affordable for a family like his – for his parents to put him through the academy. At twenty three, he is of the ripe age to marry and to produce an offspring to inherit his family name, and it is clear on his parents' features that they want him to succeed their meagre family business instead of trying for something almost futile like pursuing his academics. He isn't about to give up though; there are so many things in this country that he wants to change, and taking the Imperial Exams is only the first step towards that goal.  
  
But Yixing has been lucky to be born into this family, in more ways than one; at least he isn't being forced to take in a wife like his friend Liu Xianhua had. For that he is thankful, though he still requires a stroke of luck, on top of his hard work, to succeed.  
  
He takes a moment to send a silent prayer to the Gods who might be listening to him above.  
  
It seems that he had been left without warmth for a little too long when he'd dozed off earlier, though, and Yixing finds out a moment too late when a string of violent coughing fits suddenly wracks through his thin body. They leave his throat feeling raw and his lungs devoid of air, and Yixing has to whoop and wheeze to get fresh air into himself, a hand clasped desperately over his mouth to muffle the sounds. With the rooms built so close together, it doesn't take much for his parents to hear him, and the last thing he wants is for them to worry.  
  
It feels like an eternity has passed before his coughing finally ceased, and Yixing is still left gasping for breaths at the end of it all. He steadies himself on his seat, but the dampness on his palm when he presses against the table catches his attention. Yixing flips his hand over, paling when he finds it stained with red. He hurriedly walks over to the stand where a basin of water had been left waiting – prepared by his mother, no doubt – and washes it away, scrubbing feverishly at the blood covering his palm. Red blossoms on the surface, and Yixing hurriedly throws the tainted water out, exchanging it for a fresh basin.  
  
He sinks onto his bed in exhaustion when he's done, staring blankly at his night stand, his thoughts filled with negative notions of how much longer do I have to live? and what will happen to my aged parents if I die young? and he clenches his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut in an effort to dispel them. The local physician has told him the disease has no immediate threat to his life, but Yixing is still worried. He is loathe to have his parents see him go before he could even repay them for their kindness.  
  
Yixing's throat works again to swallow his emotions, and, with another quick look at the murky night skies outside, he blows out the candle and buries himself under his sheets.  
  
He will have to purchase some medication for himself in the morning, he decides.  
  
  


\--

  
  
Yixing often hates it when he is ill. There is always a sense of sluggishness that plagues his movements and thoughts, but above all, his illness would oftentimes make it difficult for him to get up in the morning. It is always at these times that the negativity in Yixing reigns supreme.  
  
Today is no exception to that rule. While Yixing would usually wake up before the crack of dawn, he had risen to the sound of his mother busying herself in the kitchen this morning, and that was very late indeed, considering how he has a lecture at the academy to attend an hour before noon. He still sat through breakfast with his parents, hiding his paleness by patting his own cheeks multiple times before he had stepped out into the family hall, but by the time he was done, there was barely enough time for him to make a detour to the local medicinal shop.  
  
Yixing is extremely antsy by the time the elderly physician at the store was done packing his medicine, and he rushes off at once upon paying three silver pieces for them and receiving instructions on how to boil them. Yixing curses his poor memory when he tries to shove the packaging into his book bag, only to realise he had not brought it along in his haste to make his leave from home that morning. Taking a look at the position of the sun above him, Yixing decides against dropping by his home to retrieve his books and deposit his medicinal package. He can live without his books for a morning, since the academy provides adequate paper for the students' use anyway. He'll have to make do with the words of his teacher. He sighs, tucks the packaging under his arm, and weaves his way through the late morning crowd thronging the streets of Chang'an despite the cold.  
  
The chill of the winter air seeps through the seams of his worn-out fur coat, and Yixing pulls it shut around him when he feels the beginnings of another coughing fit, his chest tightening almost painfully from the cold air invading his lungs. He covers his nose and mouth with the back of his sleeve, hastening his steps in hopes of being surrounded by the toasty warmth in the academy as soon as possible. The prospect of freezing to death on the streets does not sound very appealing to Yixing at all, not when the nation is fast approaching what they have coined as the Great Depression. He is almost certain that no one will lend a helping hand, when everyone has their own problems to worry over. He’s only thankful that it isn’t snowing that morning, or he might find himself stranded on the streets.  
  
When Yixing turns around the next corner to utilise his usual short-cut to the academy, though, he accidentally runs into someone in the alley owing to his lack of attention towards his surroundings, and is sent landing on the hard, freezing cobblestone path on his behind. The pain bites into his flesh and bones along with the piercing cold, and Yixing hisses.  
  
"Young Master, are you quite alright?" A panicked voice speaks up then, and Yixing opens his eyes to regard whom he had just crashed into. His eyes widen further when he catches extremely long limbs, an overall good-looking face, and large hands, but the next thing that pops up in his mind is:  _oh no, did I just bump into a noble?_  He's heard of enough horror stories about the other villagers getting ill-treated by the nobles because of a minor mistake, and Yixing can't suppress the shudder that runs down his spine. The clothes on the man seem very expensive indeed.  
  
The other man, who is currently being helped up by who Yixing supposes is his bodyguard – another young man who is probably around Yixing's age or slightly younger, with a head of jet black hair, relatively tanned skin, and intimidating features, what with the darkness around his sharp, keen eyes – does not even bother dusting himself off, allowing his bodyguard to do it on his behalf instead. It isn't until moments later that the man seems to have notice Yixing's presence, and shuffles forward slowly, offering his hand.  
  
"You should pay more attention to the path when you are walking," he says with a slight grin when Yixing takes his hand gratefully and pulls himself up from the dusty, snow-covered ground. Yixing cannot help but notice how warm the man's hand feels in his, or how Yixing's hand is getting dwarfed in his broad ones. His hand isn’t the only thing getting dwarfed, however; the man practically towers above him in terms of height, and Yixing has to crane his neck to meet the man’s gaze.  
  
He doesn't even notice how long he has been staring at the man, but Yixing is given a rude jolt back to reality when a sword is unsheathed right in front of his eyes. He swears his heart had stopped momentarily from the suddenness of the event, and he stumbles backwards, nearly tripping over his own foot in the process. Yixing can feel the burn on his cheeks.  
  
"That is enough from you. Let go of His– the Young Master's hand right this instant before I slice your hand off, pea–" The bodyguard growls in a low voice, and seems to be on the verge of fulfilling his threats, when the young man places a hand on his bodyguard's forearm to stop him.  
  
"Zitao, that is quite enough." There is an undertone of extreme authoritativeness in the man's voice, one that made Yixing feel that he should cower and kneel before him. It's a peculiar feeling, and Yixing isn’t quite sure if nobles are supposed to make him feel this way.  
  
The man’s bodyguard – Zitao – stiffens at the touch and pulls away quickly, looking as though he'd been scalded by hot iron. He sheaths his sword once again, bows at his owner, and takes two respectful steps backwards, keeping his sword close to his side. Yixing has never crossed the path of a noble before – they didn't usually roam the poorer sections of Chang'an – and he wonders, again, if he should be bowing at the man too.  
  
The man interrupts his train of thoughts when he speaks up then. "My sincerest apologies for Zitao's insolence. My name is Li Jiaheng, and I am afraid this is our first time in these parts of the city. It is a little confusing." He smiles amiably, inclining his head slightly in greeting.  
  
Yixing blinks at the sound of Jiaheng's voice, deep and resonating and polite, and he's dazed for a short moment before he quickly bows in greeting, arms folded in front of him. "I am Zhang Yixing, and I apologise for my grave lack of attention." He says, cheeks burning up slightly in shame, then straightens himself. Jiaheng is still observing him intently, and when coupled with Zitao's piercing gaze, Yixing fights the urge to squirm. It feels all too stifling. "May I– may I know where you might be headed to, sir?"  
  
"Just to the magistrate's court," Jiaheng tells him, and Yixing is curious what business would a noble like him have at the court. He hasn't heard of any news that the magistrate is getting replaced, so that can't be the reason why. As if sensing the running queries on his mind, though, Jiaheng smiles at Yixing. "I have been sent by my family for some private matters."  
  
Ah, that explains it.  
  
Yixing turns around to face the main street then, biting on his lower lip as he tried to orientate himself, before whirling around to regard Jiaheng again. "Walk out of this alley, and turn to your left. You should see the magistrate's court at the end of the street." He informs. That is when Yixing suddenly remembers that he's running late for his lesson at the academy, and he panics. "Oh dear, I simply must take my leave! I apologise for not being able to show you the rest of the way, Mr. Li!"  
  
Yixing doesn't even wait for Jiaheng to respond, and immediately runs in the direction of his academy, hoping that he isn't too late for his lesson, ignoring the searing pain in his chest at the same time.  
  
He sends another silent prayer to the Heavens above, hoping he will not keel over on the streets and die from his exertion in the cold.  
  
  


\--

  
  
"Your Majesty," Zitao says with a respectful bow, careful to keep his voice low so as to not reveal their true identities to people who happen to walk in on them. He tightens his grip on his scabbard and feels the carvings on it dig into his palm, fully poised to strike down any assassins who are daring enough to make an attempt on the Emperor’s life in broad daylight. Zitao is one of the Emperor's best royal guards, and is one of the reasons why the Emperor dares to walk around in the city with only one guard in sight. "It may not be in this humble servant's position to comment, but this humble servant sincerely hopes that Your Majesty will remember to keep Your royal existence safe. It will not do for you to interact so closely with the commoners."  
  
Yifan has a smile on his face as he turns around to look at Zitao. "You worry too much, Zitao. Have you forgotten that we are supposed to blend in with the masses?" He quips, giving his sleeves a hard shake as a reminder that they have commoners' clothing on their backs.  
  
Zitao seemed to want to heave a sigh, but he remembers his position and refrains from committing such a disrespectful act. Even if Yifan trusts him a great deal, he is still susceptible to having a sword swinging down onto his neck. Instead, the corner of his lips twists a little as he says, "I did not forget what we are here for, and what we are pretending to be, Your Majesty, but the Empress Dowager will have my head if any harm falls upon you. And the Emperor Consort–"  
  
"Luhan enjoys your company, much more than he lets on. He will not call for your head." Yifan interrupts him mildly.  
  
Despite the situation, Zitao chuckles lightly at Yifan's words. "You seem to be underestimating the extent of His Highness's feelings for you, Your Majesty. His fondness for me will never surpass his love for you."  
  
"That is a given, otherwise I might really have to behead you for stealing my Consort's affections." Yifan tells him with a laugh, and makes to continue on their journey, but he pauses in his steps when he takes notice of the brown packaging lying in the melting snow.  
  
It earns Zitao's disdain when Yifan bends down to pick it up. "Young Master,” he cries out when a commoner passes them by, “I beg you, please leave suspicious objects to my inspection instead of doing so yourself. It might be poisonous–"  
  
"I am sure–" Yifan raises his voice and cuts Zitao's worries off. "–that this belongs to the young man earlier." When they’re finally left alone in the alley once again, he turns to look towards the rooftop of the house next to them, and calls out: "Sungmin, I have a task for you."  
  
A figure in a black cloak emerges from the roof and lands lightly in front of Yifan and Zitao in a crouched position, bowing his head low. "As you wish, Your Majesty."


	2. Chapter 2

Yifan is standing by the windows of his private chambers, admiring the snow-covered landscape of his palace when a cold winter breeze blows into the room, causing a tiny shiver to wrack through his body. He pulls his robes tighter around himself and takes a step back from the window, watching in disdain as the palace servants rush to close them for him. He has half the mind to reprimand them for acting without his orders, but decides against it in the end. He may be the ruler of the country, but his mother is still very much in charge of the runnings of the palace; she would not be pleased with the servants if he fell ill, even if it is his decision to have the windows left open, and he knows nothing good will be waiting for them at the end of it. 

Yifan heaves a sigh and links his fingers behind his back, his heavy robes billowing as he walks to the table and takes a seat, facing the mountain of scrolls that he still has to look through. The weight of his robes is a grim reminder of the responsibility he has to shoulder, that the future of the people of his nation is in his hands. To Yifan, his golden robes, embroidered with intricate designs of majestic dragons, represents the hopes of the people. Once he has put it on, there is no way for him to shirk away from it until his time of death.

For a moment, Yifan resents the fact that he had been born into the role of the Crown Prince, and wonders how it would be like to be a normal citizen for once. The future of a nation seems too much of a responsibility to bear, for someone who is only twenty four, yet he knows it is expected of him, from the very moment he had stepped onto the throne as the Emperor of China; no – from the very moment he had taken his first breath in this world. 

He straightens himself in alert when there is a light rap on the wooden pane of the window just then, three short and three long ones, a code that only a select few knew of. He quickly waves the servants off before clearing his throat as a signal that he is alone.

As silent as he is deadly, Sungmin swiftly climbs into Yifan's chambers through the windows and kneels on one knee before Yifan's desk, his head bowed low in respect. "Your Majesty, I apologise for the crude manner I have employed to enter your chambers."

"It does not matter, Sungmin." Yifan says, his tone even. Out of all the members of his Secret Guard, Yifan trusts in Sungmin the most, and with his trust comes a form of leniency he would not otherwise bestow upon the others. Only very few people in the palace have earned that trust from Yifan, and it does not even include some of the closest members of the royal family. He has seen enough of the backstabbing and internal squabbles and power tussle amongst the other royal family members to know that sometimes, you cannot even trust the people whom you have grown up with. "What news do you bring me?"

"I have found Zhang Yixing as you have instructed, Your Majesty. Please allow me to present you a map directing you to his residence." Sungmin informs, and Yifan perks up with a pleased smile. He knows it is a selfish whim of his to mobilise a member of the Secret Guard to search for a simple commoner in Chang'an, but as usual, Sungmin never disappoints Yifan with his efficiency.

"You may leave it on the table, Sungmin." Yifan tells him, and Sungmin does as he is told. Yifan holds himself back from immediately reaching for the rolled up scroll which now lay upon his desk, not wanting to seem too eager to take a look at it even though he knows that unlike Zitao, Sungmin will not ask him any questions that is outside the task he has been assigned to. It will not do for an Emperor to show too much of an interest in a simple commoner. Yifan understands that much.

Then again, Yifan doesn't quite understand what exactly made Zhang Yixing so memorable in his mind. Their meeting was nothing but a simple accident, yet the way Yixing had smiled at him as he tried to tell Yifan the directions to the magistrate court remained permanently imprinted in him, and Yifan finds himself thinking about the simple commoner more than he really should, for a man of his status.

Just as Sungmin turns to leave, though, Yifan's mouth seems to have gained a life of its own, and he can't stop himself from speaking whatever else that is on his mind. "Sungmin, wait," he calls out, and Sungmin pauses in his steps, looking at Yifan with a puzzled expression.

Sungmin seems to have realised that it was rude for him to look at the Emperor directly in the eye moments later, though, and he recovers quickly to lower his gaze again, crossing his right arm in front of his chest as a sign of submission. Yifan wants to sigh at his formality, but does not. It has been particularly difficult for Yifan to coax Sungmin out of his highly respectful behaviour, and he would have to live with this in exchange for Sungmin's service. "Your orders, Your Majesty?"

"Find out as much as you can about Zhang Yixing for me," he tells Sungmin. For once, he is glad Sungmin will not overstep his boundaries or push his luck with the leniency Yifan allows him to have. If he'd given the task to Zitao, his personal guard would have asked a million and one questions about his intentions, and then nag him some more about having the intention to mingle with a commoner.

In contrast, Sungmin merely bows in acquiescence. "I understand, Your Majesty," he says, and silently slips out of Yifan's chambers, leaving no other trace of him having been present except for the scroll on Yifan's table.

When Yifan is finally left alone again, he exhales a little and unravels the scroll Sungmin had brought him, finding the location of Yixing's residence depicted upon it with a neat cross. Yifan frowns a little when he notices that it is located near the outskirts of Chang'an, and if his memory does not fail him, it is one of the poorer regions within the city walls. He turns to regard the packet of medicine on his table, reaching forward to pick it up and sniffing it slightly for the first time since he'd obtained it a week ago. It is nothing like the expensive herbs in the Royal Physician's inventory, but from the smell of it, Yifan knows it is a stronger sort of remedy for coughs and colds. He has spent enough time in the commoner world to know that much, having tried it once himself. He smiles fondly at the memory, even if he can taste the bitterness of the concoction on his tongue. He doesn't think he will ever forget the taste of it. 

As though reading his thoughts, the guard standing outside his chambers announces the arrival of the Emperor's Consort, and Yifan quickly stashes the packet of medicine and the map away to avoid unwanted questions. Luhan is familiar with the medicine, he is sure, and he does not want Luhan to mistake him for being ill and worry unnecessarily over him. 

Yifan's smile grows wider when Luhan glides in through the set of doors with the sort of grace that had caught Yifan's attention many years ago, his maids following him closely. From the set of Luhan's jaw, Yifan knows that he is annoyed by their presence, as he always is when they refuse to stop following him around until they are dismissed with a raise of his voice. These maids are new, Yifan notes with interest, and wonders what had happened to his previous ones. He surmises his mother must have switched them out for being too un-servant-like with Luhan; it has happened far too many times by now, and Luhan has probably taken to giving up on being friendly with his servants. Yifan decides not to ask. Luhan is probably going to be upset when he talks about losing the last of his friends in the palace.

"I wish you well, Your Majesty." Luhan says with a slight dip, the lines and planes of his body accentuated by the way his pale blue silk robe is clinging to his skin. It is only then that Luhan notices the open scroll lying on the desk before Yifan, and his bright eyes grow comically round. "Oh! My sincere apologies, Your Majesty! I did not know you were busying yourself with the nation's affairs! I shan't be a bother to you–"

"No, you can stay, my Consort." Yifan tells him mildly, trying not to laugh at the exaggerated way Luhan had said those words. Yifan is the only person who can see through the carefully and cleverly concealed meanings behind Luhan's words, and he supposes it is why they have never gotten into any disagreements for as long as they have been together.

With a look, Luhan sends his maids away, allowing him to truly be alone with Yifan in his chambers. Only then does Luhan throw away the last of his reservations, settling himself behind Yifan and wrapping his thin arms around Yifan's waist, resting his chin on Yifan's shoulder. Yifan laughs and turns to meet Luhan's lips in a deep kiss, and they break apart breathless moments later.

"It is good to see you, Han." Yifan says sincerely, sighing contentedly when Luhan nuzzles his cheek against his.

"I have missed you, Yifan." Luhan purrs, biting lightly on Yifan's earlobe. "You have been so busy lately. I have not seen you in such a long while."

Yifan laughs and pulls Luhan into his lap, pressing open mouthed kisses onto his neck. He smirks against Luhan's skin when Luhan lets out a soft moan at his ministrations. "We were just together yesterday night, Han. Are you trying to tell me you have forgotten how well I have fucked you?" He says, voice low and throaty.

Luhan looks up at him with eyes bright with lust, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Were we, Your Majesty?" He chuckles, wrapping his arms around Yifan's neck and pressing their foreheads together.

Yifan narrows his eyes at Luhan and reaches down for the tie holding Luhan's robes together. "I can always remind you–"

Before he can even continue his sentence, though, Luhan is already climbing off Yifan's lap, sitting in a prim manner beside him as though nothing had just happened. "There are people listening in on us outside even if we are alone, Yifan. We can do this again, tonight." He tells Yifan quietly, sending a smile at him to seal his promise, and he leans in closer against Yifan to regard the open scroll on the table. "Something seems to be bothering you right now, though. If I may be so impudent as to interrupt–"

"You are always welcomed to give some input on the runnings of the nation, Han. I have told you that. It does not matter who provides the ideas, as long as the nation prospers." Yifan gently wraps his fingers around Luhan's wrist and brings it up to press a tender kiss on the underside of it. He can feel the tiny shudder that wracks through Luhan's body at the gesture, and feels pleased that he still has that effect on Luhan.

Luhan smiles back at him, pressing Yifan's warm palm against his cheek. "People will talk, even if I am your Consort. You know that." He says gently, and there is a tinge of sadness in his eyes that tugs at Yifan's heart.

They have been through this – all the backlash, all the attempts at pulling them apart, all the oppression and objection aimed at their unconventional relationship – but Yifan is adamant at keeping their relationship strong. The officials in the court may not approve of Luhan meddling in the governance of the country because of his status – Consorts are traditionally expected to sit prettily next to the Emperor on the throne, not give their opinions on matters regarding governance – and his background as a commoner, but they will never know what sort of good ideas Luhan has in his mind. Luhan has helped Yifan out more times than he can count, and Yifan can never be more thankful for having Luhan by his side.

"Let them talk." Yifan tells him, running his fingers through Luhan's hair slowly. "I thought you never cared about what people said about you."

Luhan presses his lips softly against Yifan's and sighs. "I am only worried about you, Your Majesty. People talk. I do not want you to get upset when these disgusting things reach your ears."

"I do not really care." Yifan says, shrugging, and he means it. He has heard of the way the royal family speaks ill of his relationship with Luhan one too many times, and Yifan is honestly tired of threatening to behead anyone who does it. It would seem too cruel to actually follow through with his threats, and Yifan does not have the intention of forcing anyone into accepting their marriage without a single word said. "As long as I know how valuable you are to me, all is well. That is the most important thing, is it not?"

"Your words are coated with honey, Yifan." Luhan laughs, then links his fingers with Yifan's, locking his gaze with him. "I love you."

Yifan beams at him. "I love you too," he says sincerely, and catches Luhan's lips in a brief kiss before turning back to the mountain of scrolls on his table. "Now, shall we get started on these? We have lost too much precious time. I grow impatient, and I want you very badly at this particular moment."

Luhan grins and rolls up his sleeves, picking up another scroll from the top of the pile. "Yes, Your Majesty. We should."

 

\--

 

Luhan remembers the time when he had not known that Yifan is the Crown Prince of China, where life was much simpler, the environment less toxic.

Back in those days, Luhan could truly be himself, free from palace protocols and strict expectations of him to carry himself with utmost dignity. Back in those days, he could shove at Yifan in full view of everyone, and they would both laugh it off boisterously, though with accompanying disapproving looks from Zitao who would almost never leave Yifan's side. When Luhan thinks back on it, he supposes he had been dangerously close to having his head lobbed off, if Yifan had ever thought of his actions being rude. 

He had genuinely been happy back then, and while he is still happy with Yifan now, he cannot help but feel that something has changed – not the love between them, but the way they have to act around each other in the eyes of the general public. While he and Yifan may have been bounded under the oath of marriage, the judgemental gazes still follow him wherever he goes, Consort or not.

He is secretly a witch who has charmed the Emperor in hopes of getting the throne, they all say, without knowing Luhan's background or the story he shares with Yifan. Even if Luhan has tried ignoring them, there is only so much he can take in his stride before lashing out.

Luhan sucks in a deep breath and dispels those thoughts. It would not do to get himself upset over inane discussions of his character. Yifan is right; it is not so much of the views of another. What matters most is that Yifan trusts him. That is all Luhan needs.

(He tries to convince himself that.)

Luhan turns a little in his position to lie on his side as he regards Yifan's calm expressions while he is asleep. It breaks Luhan's heart to see how tired Yifan is these days, and the way he frowns even in his sleep, seemingly having too many things on his mind. He wishes there is a way to share Yifan's burden, but Luhan knows his place. Even if Yifan gives him permission to look at every single document related to the nation's affairs, people talk. People always do. They may proclaim their undying loyalty to their Emperor, but at the end of the day, only a handful are truly loyal. The rest of them are merely feigning their submissiveness to save their necks. Luhan wonders if they know Yifan is fully aware of their faux loyalty.

He reaches forward and cups Yifan's face gently, sweeping his thumb slowly across Yifan's cheek, careful not to wake his sleeping spouse. It has been a long while since Luhan has seen Yifan this relaxed in his sleep, the last being the time before Yifan had told him he was the future Emperor of China. They have been in love for a long while, from when Yifan was still roaming the streets of Chang'an masquerading as a commoner to learn of their sufferings. Luhan had met Yifan during one of his neighbourhood's poetry exchange sessions, and they had hit it off right from the beginning, neither of them having met someone so well-learnt before.

Despite what the others might perceive from his stern outer appearance, it is not at all difficult to talk to Yifan. In fact, Luhan could not even guess that Yifan was the future ruler of their country, because he was easy to approach, if you knew how to go about it.

Luhan had been stunned speechless when Yifan had suddenly asked him to return to the palace with him and had revealed his true identity as the Crown Prince, on the morning after they had first made passionate love beneath Yifan's sheets. There had been many worries on his mind back then – Luhan still has some of them even now – but at the end of the day, Luhan thinks it is all worth it. If he were to be made to choose, Luhan would willingly do this all over again, as long as Yifan is there at the end of the line.

Smiling at his memories, Luhan snakes an arm around Yifan's bare waist and burrows himself deeper in Yifan's warm embrace. He may be slightly older than Yifan in terms of age, but Luhan is content with having Yifan protecting him. Luhan is not weak, but he thinks it is nice to know that someone will always be there to support him. He trusts that Yifan will keep the promises he had made from before their union, as he always has – especially the one where Yifan had said Luhan will be his one and only.

Satisfied, Luhan allows the sleep to drag him under its murky depths while listening to each beat of Yifan's heart, steady and reassuring.


	3. Chapter 3

"Your– Young Master, please, wait! Your scarf!" Zitao calls out as he hurries after Yifan on the streets, trying not to slip on the melting snow on the ground. He winced inwardly, realising how close he had been to calling Yifan 'Your Majesty' in full view of everyone, and he hopes Yifan had not caught on to that.

It is one of the warmer days of winter, and there are many of the townsfolk out and about, causing Chang'an to be bustling with activity, the crowd thicker than the other times when they had been here throughout the winter months. While it is usually easy for Zitao to outrun Yifan, especially with his martial arts background, Yifan had forbidden him from using any of his skills before they had left the palace that morning, even commanding Zitao to leave his sword behind, citing his previous stint with Yixing the other time as extremely dangerous, and besides, normal servants of nobles do not go around carrying swords.

Zitao had begrudgingly agreed even though he feels utterly stripped bare without his weapon, if only because they are being shadowed by the Secret Guard along the way. He struggles with being a normal servant, knowing nothing of the way other servants act around their charges. Yifan has his maids in the palace for that purpose, and Zitao is only supposed to ensure his safety, nothing more. Zitao sighs again, and runs a little faster.

Yifan pauses in his tracks in a location where the crowd is thinner, allowing Zitao ample time to run up to him. He laughs when Zitao finally stops next to him, doubled over and pretending that he has to catch his breath. Zitao can be good actor when the situation calls for it. "What is the matter, Tao? You are usually quicker on your feet. You are getting out of shape, boy."

"You jest, Young Master. You are in a very good shape." Zitao tells him, earning another amused chuckle from Yifan, who takes the scarf from Zitao's hand and wraps it around himself. "But Young Master, whatever are we doing out today? Is there a special task in which you have to accomplish?"

Yifan arches backwards in a lazy stretch to work out the kinks in his muscles, arms spread out on either side of him. "Not in particular. I merely needed some fresh air away from my study. Or is that not permissible, Zitao?" He quirks an eyebrow at his bodyguard, who colours at the obvious challenge. Typical Zitao; the boy is too easy to read sometimes, and it amuses Yifan to no ends.

"No, Young Master. You may do as you wish," Zitao bows a little and says, just as Yifan had expected him to. "But please, do stay out of harm's way. The Mistress will really not be pleased with me if you were to be hurt in any way. She will have my neck."

This time, Yifan does laugh out loud at Zitao's expressions. "I will, Zitao. Do not worry about that." He pats Zitao on the back, hard, and Zitao splutters at their body contact, evidently remembering the clause where he should not, in any way, come into physical contact with the Emperor unless duty calls for it. "Loosen up, we are not in the palace," Yifan tells him in a whisper, and then he's dragging Zitao away again, announcing loudly and cheerfully, "Now come! We must not be late to attend the academy!"

Zitao rightfully splutters again at Yifan's declaration. "A–academy? But Young Master–!"

"Yes, the academy. I am going to pursue my education, like any right-minded son of a noble would." Yifan laughs again and ignores the rest of Zitao's protests after that, walking briskly towards his destination, hand patting distractedly at the medicinal packet contained in his book bag. He knows he’s getting a lot of attention for his height and his supposedly good looks, but Yifan ignores that, and marches steadfastly ahead.

\--

 

Yixing drags his feet across the melting snow, hiding coughing fits behind closed fists as he makes his way to the academy, wondering if he would still be suffering like this if he had taken the medicine to address the cough. Unfortunately, he had lost it somewhere between the apothecary and his academy the other day, so he couldn't find out. Yixing knows that because of his absentminded tendencies, he has gotten himself into trouble more than once, but this one has to top the cake. It definitely does not help that medicinal herbs are considered quite the expensive commodity these days, and the three silver pieces he had paid for them is considered a small fortune to his family.

Yixing sighs. He has been too much of a burden to his parents as of late, and he wonders just what he could do to alleviate the pressure they are going through. Perhaps I can do a lot of good if I could stop making them worry unnecessarily.

His gloomy mood lifts ever so slightly when he arrives at the academy, where he knows he will be surrounded by books and knowledge which may very well determine his future. Unwell as he may be, Yixing isn't one to give up so easily, and he is eager to study twice as hard just to ensure he will have a decent placement in the Imperial Examinations. There is an invisible pressure weighing upon his shoulders at the thought, but Yixing is determined not to let it pull him down and break his motivation. As the only child, it is only natural for him to support his family, even though his parents have asked him not to worry about it.

With those thoughts in mind, Yixing takes his usual seat in the second row of the study hall, distracted from his surroundings as he calculates the amount of money he has left in his reserves, and if it is adequate for him to get another packet of medicine. It isn't until someone clears their throat that Yixing jolts back to reality, and he blinks in surprise when a familiar face greets him with an amiable smile.

"Good day, Master Zhang. Do you remember me?" The man asks, and Yixing blinks again. What was the son of a noble doing in an academy meant for the poorer scholars of Chang'an, when he could study in the comforts of his own home with a private tutor instead?

"Master Li," Yixing greets, watching as Li Jiaheng's smile grew wider at being recognised. "What are you doing here?"

"Am I not welcomed?" Jiaheng replies, the mock hurt clear on his expressions.

"N–no, of course not. You are always welcomed to the academy!" Yixing quickly says, and panicking, Yixing looks around in search of Jiaheng's scary bodyguard, only feeling marginally relieved when Zitao is nowhere to be seen. Yixing really does not want a repeat of the incident the other day, when Zitao had threatened to slice his head clean off his neck for simply touching Jiaheng. He could not imagine what Jiaheng's overprotective bodyguard would do to him if Zitao so much thought that Yixing's words were meant to be offensive. "I was merely surprised to see someone of your ranking here."

Jiaheng looks at Yixing with amusement written on his features, and Yixing isn't very sure if he likes it. "So I've been told." He says simply, shrugging. "This caste system is much too unfair, do you not think? Why should people be differentiated based on their wealth, when at the end of the day, we are all merely human?"

"Well..." Yixing starts, but thinks twice about what he's about to say and bites on his tongue to stop himself from expressing his thoughts. He has heard of stories of nobles luring the lower-classed citizens in with such ambiguous statements, only to charge them in court for contempt once the latter expresses their opinions. Of course, the corrupt judges of the court always gave their verdict in favour of the nobles, simply because they were paid handsomely to do so. Yixing has his own opinions on the matter, that much is true, but he is also smart enough to not land himself in trouble. "What I think is not important, but rather it is the thoughts of those such as your esteemed self that matter."

Jiaheng rightfully laughs at his comment, thoroughly amused. "Playing safe, I see." He hums in approval. "I know what you are thinking of, but do not worry, I am unlike those nobles you have heard stories about. I am much more accommodating to other people's opinions, for that is a quality which should be owned by a scholar, should it not?"

For the umpteenth time that day, Yixing blinks at Jiaheng, utterly confused. He does not seem to be lying when he said he didn't care about the caste system, and Yixing somehow felt compelled to let his guard down, if only marginally. "Not many others share the same thoughts, I'm afraid. The human heart is a frightening entity to explore, and you will never know when a person is being sincere, and when he is not." He says with utmost honesty, and is met with an impressed look from Jiaheng.

"Well, if you put it that way, what should I do to earn your trust?" Jiaheng muses, cocking his head to the side to regard Yixing. Yixing feels oddly flustered by the way Jiaheng is looking at him, and quickly turns to face the front just as their teacher for the day walks into the room. He sighs inwardly in relief, thinking he has been saved, just in the nick of time.

"I haven't an idea," Yixing says out of the corner of his mouth moments later when he realises Jiaheng is still watching him intently, figuring that the man isn't going to let the matter slide so easily. If Yixing has to admit one thing, he is impressed by Jiaheng's iron will. "Should you not be the one who ponders upon it, if you are so eager to win my trust?"

Jiaheng chuckles softly just then, and Yixing glances downwards when he feels a weight settle in his lap. His eyes widen when he finds the packet of medicine he thought he had lost sitting there, and Yixing whips around to look at Jiaheng, his eyebrows disappearing behind his fringe. "Where did you find this?" He asks as quietly as he can, trying not to disrupt the ongoing class, but Jiaheng merely shrugs and gives him a mysterious smile.

Yixing is still left puzzled by it all, even as the class for the day ends and he is on his way home, for Jiaheng had refused to tell Yixing how he had gotten his hands on Yixing's misplaced medicinal package. Yixing does, however, feel relieved that he doesn't have to dig into his reserves to procure money for yet another packet, and makes haste in returning to his home in order to prepare the remedy to address his annoying coughing fits.

Deep down, Yixing's trust for Jiaheng increases just a little more, figuring that perhaps Jiaheng is a little different from the more unpleasant nobles he has been hearing about. He hopes he isn’t making a wrong judgement.

 

\--

 

Without a sound, Yifan is joined by Zitao's presence some ways away from the academy, just like Yifan had ordered him to. Yifan tries to hide his smile when he senses the irritation radiating off of Zitao, failing miserably at his attempt when a short laugh escapes his lips. Zitao has never liked the idea of leaving Yifan unguarded for far too long, especially when he is forbidden from lingering anywhere close to Yifan, and the past four hours must have been a mental torture of the highest degree for Zitao. 

"Zitao," Yifan says, the amusement clear in his intonation, "I can hear your thoughts. Tune it down a little, will you not?"

"I would do so, if you would stop acting on your own whims, Your Majesty." Zitao grumbles, just as Yifan had thought he would. Typical Zitao. "I am but a humble servant. I cannot forbid you from wandering around on the streets and mingling with commoners, but please think about your own safety, Your Majesty. There are always people who do know who you are, even when you are dressed like the rest."

Yifan chuckles again. "You are worrying too much, Zitao. I–"

Before Yifan could finish what he had wanted to say, however, Zitao unsheathed the dagger he had brought along with him in lightning speed and parries a flying arrow being shot in Yifan's direction, the arrowhead making a clanging noise when it meets the metal of Zitao's weapon. Yifan’s eyes are wide from the lack of distance between his face and Zitao’s dagger, but before he can recover from his shock, a dead body falls from the rooftop of the house ahead of them, and two black-clothed persons joined Yifan and Zitao on solid ground, kneeling before Yifan.

"We apologise for the scare, Your Majesty. It is because of our negligence that you were put in danger. Please punish us as you see fit." They chorused together, heads bowed low as a sign of their subjugation, their swords presented to Yifan on open palms for Yifan to wield and mete out his punishment. 

Yifan, who is still mildly shaken by his near-assassination, clears his throat after several moments have passed. "You may rise, Sungmin, Han Geng. I do not intend to punish you." He says, feeling thankful that his voice is at least stable enough to speak. He is sure his expressions are calm enough to pass off as unruffled by the incident. It would not do to alarm his subjugates at this particular moment; he knows Han Geng is fully capable of bringing him back into the palace by force, as Yifan’s mother had once instructed him to – it is the only time when even his Secret Guards are immune to Yifan’s punishments or his wrath. "But I do need you two to find out who is behind this. Report to me frequently the results of your investigation, and kindly dispose of this body. I do not want the citizens to be alarmed."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Yifan's Secret Guards bow again as a form of acknowledgement of their new orders, and promptly disappears from sight.

When Yifan turns around, though, he finds Zitao looking at him with disdain, and he scrubs his face in utter exhaustion. "Not a word from you, Zitao."

Zitao merely blinks at him innocently, but Yifan isn't fooled. "Whatever are you talking about, Your Majesty?"

Yifan sighs. "I know your I told you so is on the tip of your tongue. Do not play dumb with me."

Zitao shrugs and allows Yifan to walk ahead of him, though this time, he is hypervigilant of his surroundings, preparing to take down any assassins who may try to attack the Emperor again. Zitao is thankful he went against Yifan’s orders in not bringing any weapons around. He cannot bear to imagine the aftermath of today’s trip if he hadn’t. "This could not come as a more timely reminder that the streets are not safe, even if you may think so, Your Majesty. Please, do listen to your subjects a little more."

Yifan rolls his eyes, even though Zitao could not see it. "Fine, Zitao. Enough from you. You may linger closer when I step out of the palace, if you so wish." He snaps, bordering on irate right now. All Yifan had wanted was to take some fresh air in a land he ruled. Why is that one simple wish so difficult to fulfil?

"The Emperor Consort–"

"Luhan will not hear of this. Neither will the Empress Dowager. Am I understood?" Yifan whips around and gives Zitao the most serious glare he could muster. If his mother heard of the assassination attempt that evening, she would definitely bar him from ever leaving the palace again – not that the palace was very much safer than when he's wandering around on the streets. Yifan has known of assassination attempts being made upon his late father in the past, though all were foiled in a timely manner. Yifan trusts his Secret Guards, and he trusts his most loyal Royal Guard even more, even though Zitao seems to be a little too thick-headed to realise the latter fact. He believes they will keep him safe, just as they had moments ago.

Zitao clenches his jaw, looking slightly disgruntled, but sighed and relented to Yifan's wishes in the end. "Yes, Your Majesty. You have my word."

Satisfied, Yifan makes his way back to the palace, figuring that he had had enough of adventures for a day. He keeps mulling over his assassination attempt, however, and wonders if the man was sent by someone in the palace. No commoner in his nation knew how he looked like – portraits drawn of him were commissioned, forged, all part of a safety measure to accommodate his penchant of wandering outside the palace grounds in hopes of getting closer to his subjects and learning of their grouses in person. It was the only way his mother would have allowed him to roam the streets at all. And if anyone is able to make an attempt of taking his life out of palace grounds, when Yifan is dressed in simple clothing instead of his royal robes, then they are a cause for suspicion that someone in the Royal Court is trying to assassinate him.

Yifan hums to himself in thought. He will get to the bottom of this, somehow.


	4. Chapter 4

"Your Majesty," a middle-aged man dressed in maroon robes – Yifan's Minister of Finance, Youngmin – speaks up in the middle of the commotion in the Grand Hall, his voice blanketing the noise and commandeering everyone else's attentions, even Yifan who is in the midst of having a massive headache from his meeting with his ministers that morning. "The economic situation of the nation is going downhill, and the people are suffering as a direct result of it. We simply must do something to address the matter urgently!"

Yifan sighs inwardly and massages his temple to soothe the pain, even if a little. This is the main reason why he is not keen in convening with his ministers often – they were all handpicked by his late father, and thus are inherited along with his throne, and they seem to still think that Yifan is an immature young brat who does not give a single damn about the nation's affairs. Yifan wishes he could switch some of them out, but his personal advisor Junmyeon had warned him against it, citing that it would possibly create an irreparable dissent from those who have been replaced. In other words, Yifan is pretty much stuck with this group of old ministers who are much too headstrong to listen to anyone else's opinions until they meet their natural end. Put them all together in the same room, and Yifan has a sure-fire recipe for a headache every time he calls for a meeting with his ministers to discuss about the nation's latest affairs.

He is only thankful that he is allowed to choose his own advisor. Having someone around his age to speak up in the Grand Hall at times like these keeps Yifan sane.

"Your Majesty–!" Youngmin starts again when he does not gain a verbal response from Yifan, but trails off when Yifan raises a hand to stop him.

The Hall is much too warm, even for the height of winter, and Yifan wishes he could be rid of his royal robes that feels too stifling for his liking. He is hyperaware of his mother's attention on him, watching him keenly and probably trying to predict what Yifan would say in response to the issue that Youngmin had brought up, and he straightens himself in his throne. He silently wishes Luhan was here with him – at least Yifan would be a little calmer, and a lot more confident before this lot of old government officials who probably knows how to run a country much better than he does, owing to experience – but Yifan also knows the rules. The Emperor Consort isn't allowed to sit in during the Emperor's meeting with his ministers, very unfortunately.

"Enough." He booms, slamming a hand against the tabletop to signify that he has had enough of his ministers' bickering and clamouring. "I am still trying to find a solution to the economic crisis, and if you do not have a decent suggestion on how to go about it, I would really rather if you just kept quiet instead, Minister Kim."

There is a sharp intake of breath from his Minister of Finance, and the subsequent reddening of his face from the merciless way Yifan had put him down, but Yifan's words are very much successful in silencing the man once and for all. Sometimes, Yifan really does wonder what his late father saw in these men. Half of them are only made of words and not solid actions, while the other half only knew how to push Yifan to make a decision without really offering a proper suggestion. They are by no means incompetent, but Yifan wishes they could be of more help. There is only so much he could do by himself, and there are lower-ranked officers to execute a particular plan for them. His ministers are supposed to be the ones coming up with the plans, not him.

Again, Yifan sighs heavily when he feels his mother's disapproving gaze attempting to bore holes into his back. Never disrespect the people who were handpicked by your father, she would always tell him. "I apologise for that. I know you are all very invaluable to the country, but it would be best if everyone could start helping me come up with policies instead of expecting me to think of everything on my own. I am sure the late Emperor Wu had had more help than this, and if you are only doing this to test my capabilities first before deciding whether I am worthy of the throne, then I suggest that you offer your own resignation scrolls, for this is honestly very counterproductive, and by doing so, you are only jeopardising the country's current situation further." 

The Grand Hall is deadly silent for a long moment, with Yifan's ministers all avoiding his eyes, and Yifan rubs the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. He suddenly feels extremely exhausted by it all, and it hasn't even been five full years since he has ascended to the throne. Yifan thinks that he is too young and too old at the same time, sitting in this chair. "If none of you have anything else to add on, then I will call for the resolution of today's meeting. See me in private if you have any suggestions for the betterment of our nation. You may all take your leave."

In tandem to his decree, the guard announces Yifan's and the Empress Dowager's departure from the Hall, and they are immediately surrounded by their personal guards as well as waiting maids. The Empress Dowager ignores everyone else's presence, and raises her voice at Yifan as they walk out of the hall together. "I am not very happy with the way you have handled the situation, Yifan," she tells him, and Yifan presses his lips into a thin line, trying to calm himself down before he comes up with a reply. It would not do for him to argue with his mother in full view of the palace servants, as sorely as he is tempted to do so.

Instead, Yifan bows a little at his mother, forcing a smile to his lips. "I apologise, Mother, but I am still in a slow and progressive learning process. I need to make mistakes to improve, do I not?" He answers, then bows again when they arrive at the junction where they have to part ways in order to return to their respective chambers. "I bid thee a good day, Mother. I simply must make haste in returning to my study, for the nation's piling affairs await."

And then Yifan is gone, with Zitao and his other maids trailing in his wake. He completely misses the way his mother is watching him leave, the frown creasing her forehead and her breathing a little faster than it is supposed to be.

\--

 

"You seem really tired, Your Majesty."

It is the first thing Luhan says when Yifan walks into his private study, but instead of feeling more burdened by his Consort's words, Yifan smiles in relief. He had intended to seek for Luhan's company the moment he arrived at his study, and it is fortunate that Luhan is already here. He supposes it's only natural to find Luhan hanging around, however – his Consort loves spending time in Yifan's study, occupying himself with tome upon tome of books when Yifan is too busy to be with him. It was because of their affinity for books that Luhan and Yifan had bonded at all.

Yifan dismisses his servants with a wave of his hand, before dropping himself onto the floor cushion beside Luhan, lying spread eagle upon it. He merely grunts when Luhan prods him in the side, but doesn't get up to return the favour. He does not even want to move a single muscle, opting to close his eyes instead, eagerly hoping that the sleep will claim him soon.

"You really are out of it, Yifan. Is there something wrong?" Luhan comments again, making sure to prod Yifan harder this time, and Yifan yelps before wrapping his arms around Luhan and pulling his Consort down with him. Luhan bursts into a giggling fit, which dies down soon enough when Yifan heaves a sigh.

"You should know how the ministers are by now, should you not?" Yifan laments, burying his nose in Luhan's soft locks and inhaling the scent of sandalwood that he is more than used to smelling by now.

Luhan laughs softly and runs his fingers through Yifan's hair, before cupping Yifan's face. "I wish I could help you out with them somehow." He says, his smile a little melancholic. "Unfortunately, they do not seem to like me much at all. My presence would probably irk them even more, and that everyone is going to end up being unhappy. I am more than contented to be allowed to help you from the shadows."

Yifan shakes his head and covers Luhan's hand with his broad one. "I would rather not have you suffer from their ridicule. You are precious to me, and I am loathe to see you upset."

"And you I, Yifan." Luhan sighs wistfully, and leans in to press a chaste kiss to Yifan's lips. Yifan responds briefly to the kiss before they pull apart, their breaths a little more laboured than before.

"If only we could return to those days when there was no one else to disturb us." Yifan says, smoothing his thumb over Luhan's cheek. He watches in fascination as Luhan's eyelids flutter shut from his touch, thinking to himself that there really isn't anything that is more beautiful than the man seated before him.

Luhan manages to press a slender finger against Yifan's lips even without opening his eyes, a testimony that he is already extremely familiar with the various parts of Yifan's body by now. "Hush, Your Majesty. You should not say such things," he tells Yifan mildly. "You have been bestowed with this responsibility, and I am willing to stay by your side to support you through this."

"I know you would," Yifan smiles, and presses their foreheads together. "Perhaps all I really require is a good rest."

The next time Luhan opens his eyes, there is a spark of desire dancing in them, and it doesn't take Yifan much to know what he is up to when Luhan says, "Let me help you relax."

Instead, Yifan gives in and allows Luhan to knead at his shoulders, sighing as he feels the tension bleed out of his muscles. Luhan has always been a talented masseuse to Yifan, and it is one of the many reasons why Yifan loves spending time with him. Yifan laughs lightly when Luhan moves to sit in his lap, pressing their lips together as he continues to work at his shoulder, and it tears a muffled sound out of Yifan's throat, something between a relaxed sigh and a moan. Luhan is gyrating his hips against Yifan's, and it honestly is very distracting, but Yifan can't bring himself to care at this particular moment.

Yifan does mind, however, when he can feel the hardness of his cock moments later, and he realises the tension from the meeting has melted into desire under Luhan's ministrations. Luhan evidently notices it too, for he catches Yifan's lower lip between his teeth just then, before moving to suck on Yifan's tongue. Yifan retaliates by kissing him harder, slowly lowering him onto the floor cushions.

His gaze on Luhan remains intense when they pull apart to catch their breaths, and he smiles when Luhan reaches up to hook his arms around Yifan's neck. "Yes, Your Majesty?" Luhan laughs, the mirth twinkling in his eyes, and Yifan could not resist from catching his lips in a chaste kiss again.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met," Yifan tells him, and it's true. No one ever comes close to rivalling Luhan's status in Yifan's world, and he doesn't plan on ever letting that fact change. Luhan probably already knows how much he means to Yifan by now, but Yifan still finds the need to remind him frequently, just to show his appreciation and sincerity. Every word, every syllable of his comes from the bottom of his heart.

"I know." Luhan replies, gloating a little. His hand wanders down Yifan's side, sliding down to rest on the knot that holds his royal robes together. "But at this moment, I do not think I am in the right frame of mind to listen to your compliments, Yifan," he says again, his voice dropping to a dangerously husky level, already hoarse from the lust.

Yifan can see the outline of Luhan's hard cock through his robes, curving upwards to his stomach, and a wet patch has already formed on the fabric, no doubt stained by his precum. He chances a look in the direction of the door, and can hear the soft chatter of the guards who are oblivious of the activities going on in Yifan's study – not any longer, though. He smirks a little, and intentionally raises his voice as he says, "My dear Consort, the study is not a place to indulge in activities which are better off left for the sleeping chambers."

Luhan rightfully flushes down to his chest and splutters a little, but with one look, he smiles back and plays along with Yifan. It isn't difficult for Luhan to guess what Yifan is up to, after spending "But Your Majesty, I do not think I can wait any longer. I have been devoid of your company for many days now. People should be prudent to leave us alone, lest they hear undesirable noises in a while."

Much to both their satisfactions, the guards cleared their throats uncomfortably at Luhan's words, and the telltale sounds of clanging armours soon follow, signifying that they have left the premises, allowing Yifan and Luhan to spend some quality time together. Yifan exchanges a meaningful look with Luhan, and Luhan is quick to respond with a deep kiss, his hand deftly undoing the tie holding Yifan's robes together.

The clothing item is discarded soon enough, along with Yifan's underrobe, and Luhan allows his hands to roam freely across the expanse of Yifan's bare chest. When his hands trail a little too close to the waistband of Yifan's underpants, though, a low growl suddenly erupts from Yifan's throat, and within the next second, Luhan finds both his hands pinned above his head by the wrist, and Yifan is looking down at him with eyes dark with lust.

"Yifan, what–"

"Let me do this, love. I cannot possibly expect you to be the one doing the work all the time to pleasure me," he smiles, and Luhan's protest dies in his throat when Yifan leans down to undo Luhan's robes with his teeth, before sucking on the skin overlying his chest, creating a red mark there when Yifan finally pulls away.

Luhan digs his nails into Yifan's shoulders when he kisses a trail down his torso, sucking and nipping on the skin and leaving blossoming red marks in his wake, and he arches up sharply with a pleasured moan when Yifan laps at his lower abdomen, dangerously close to where Luhan's throbbing cock is curled against his stomach. "Oh, Yifan, please–" He starts, but Yifan already knows what his lover wants.

Luhan throws his head back, his lips parted in a silent moan, when Yifan envelops his sensitive cock with his mouth, and desperate mewls and whimpers are soon spilling from Luhan's lips, timed precisely with the way Yifan hollows his cheeks around his length and takes Luhan's cock into his mouth, inch by maddeningly slow inch.

Yifan knows Luhan is getting close to his release when the other man's hips begin rocking up into his mouth erratically, and he pulls away from Luhan's cock, forming a tight ring at its base with his fingers. It earns a confused whimper from Luhan at the sudden loss of heat, but Yifan only looks up unrepentantly when Luhan shoots a questioning gaze at him, smiling at Luhan before pressing a kiss to the head of Luhan's cock. He is so sensitive that even a slight press of lips against heated skin is more than enough to tear another strangled moan from him.

"Yifan, please–" He gasps again, fighting against the hold Yifan still has on his wrists, trying to free them so that he could fist himself to completion. "Please, do not tease, I need you– I need to–"

"Shh," Yifan silences him, but he teasingly drags the flat of his tongue across Luhan's slit and relishes the way Luhan's muscles tense under his touch. "I will let you come in due time. For now, allow me to do as I please."

"I will probably die from frustration by the time you are done having your share of fun!" Luhan cries out, already bordering on delirious from the way his nerve endings are on an overdrive, all screaming and begging for the tight, invisible string holding them back to snap.

Yifan only chuckles at this and moves to mouth at Luhan's balls. Luhan is practically on the brink of tears by now, and by the time he realises that Yifan is licking a trail down his perineum, Yifan's tongue is already breaching Luhan's entrance, causing him to keen loudly at the sensation of the muscular organ in him. Yifan has never been much too fond of rimming, but Luhan had shown a great liking for it when they had first done it as part of their experimentation, and Yifan likes the way Luhan comes undone from being fucked open by Yifan's tongue, the way his thigh muscles clench and relax from the pleasure. It is an arousing sight, something which Yifan is still rather reluctant in admitting, for Luhan would grab the opportunity to tease him until the end of time.

An idea sparks in Yifan's mind when he catches sight of Luhan's leaking cock, and for the first time since he had begun pinning Luhan down by his wrists, Yifan lets go. He pulls away and clicks his tongue in disapproval when Luhan immediately attempts to stroke himself, and Luhan stills, knowing Yifan is more than capable to leave him unattended if he disobeys Yifan's wishes.

When he's satisfied at Luhan's obedience, Yifan slowly strokes Luhan’s cock with both hands, slicking up his digits with his precum. Luhan throws his head back in pleasure, his cock too sensitive to even the most feather-light of touches, but he does have a look of curiosity when Yifan pauses again in his actions. Yifan thinks Luhan is beautiful like this, panting and wrecked and flushed because of him, and he is glad that no one but him can see this sight.

Yifan is, of course, a very selfish man when Luhan is concerned.

With his fingers completely slicked, Yifan lowers himself to Luhan's perineum again, and darts his tongue to breach Luhan's entrance without a word of warning. Luhan tenses and hisses at the intrusion, and is about to relax from it when Yifan inserts a finger into him, sliding his digit against his tongue. It tears a loud moan and a string of strangled, breathless curses from Luhan's throat, and Yifan hopes, for their servants' sake, that no one was curious enough to stay behind and listen in on them fucking in the study.

"Yifan, fuck–" Luhan growls hoarsely at the overload of sensation, his hips rocking down onto Yifan's tongue and digits, and Yifan can't bear to stop him. He knows how maddening it must feel, and he wants to see Luhan come undone, too. From his peripheral vision, Yifan can see the way Luhan's head is thrashing about on the floor cushion, sucking on his digits and pinching his own nipples to add on to the sensation, and when Yifan crooks his fingers within Luhan, hitting his prostate, his Consort comes with a relieved cry, back arching high off the cushion and white ribbons of cum spurting from his cock. Yifan pulls out of Luhan at once, quickly covering Luhan's cock with his mouth to catch his load, and he continues stroking Luhan's length, milking every last bit of semen from him. When Luhan's cock finally softens in Yifan's hand, Yifan helps lick him clean, and swallows the last bit of Luhan's cum caught in his mouth before lapping at the bit that has landed on the expanse of Luhan's stomach.

It's not long before Luhan manages to catch his breath, and he cups Yifan's face, pulling him up to kiss him deeply, and sucking on Yifan's tongue to have a taste of himself. Yifan moans softly into the kiss, though his breath hitches when Luhan's knee brushes against his still-erect cock, the elbow that is supporting his weight giving way when it suddenly weakens.

Luhan pulls away from the kiss just then, licking his wet lips seductively as he looked at Yifan's cock, though before Yifan can even ask what he has in mind, Luhan has already pushed him down onto the floor cushions, and sinks himself onto Yifan's cock.

All words die in Yifan's throat when Luhan's muscles clench around his length, the sensation much too exquisite, but oh, he thinks he will allow Luhan to take over the reins now.

 

\--

"Your Majesty!"

In his haze of sleep, Yifan can vaguely hear someone calling for him – someone who sounds suspiciously like Zitao – but the voice is much too soft and muffled for him to decipher. He decides he must be dreaming still. He groans and turns in his position, facing Luhan who is using Yifan's arm as a pillow, and smiles fondly when he catches sight of the contented look on Luhan's face.

They had made several rounds of passionate love earlier, and Yifan honestly doesn't know how long have they both been sleeping, but he shudders from the cold then, realising that they had both dozed off without being clothed, and he blindly grabs for their discarded robes on the floor, throwing one around them. The heat and weight of it is familiar, and he looks down to find that it is his golden robes. At least now he knows that it served another purpose; it is thick enough to block out most of the cold air. His muscles are still aching, but it is a good ache, one that will go off with a little more sleep.

"Your Majesty! Are you quite alright? Please, do answer me!"

His eyes are about to close again when the call comes louder this time, enough to make him jump, and Luhan stirs next to him, too, staring blearily at Yifan moments later, the confusion clear in his sleep-clouded eyes. Yifan shakes his head slightly, indicating that he does not know what is going on either, but at least now he's sure that it is Zitao standing outside his study.

Luhan purrs and curls up on Yifan's chest when he's a little more awake, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "You should allow him to enter. He sounds as though he is about to break the doors down."

Yifan chuckles a little at that at presses a chaste kiss to Luhan's lips. "I should," he agrees, and clears his throat. "Come in, Zitao. I am fine."

Except, Yifan has forgotten the fact that they weren't quite decent at the moment, and Zitao finds out a moment too late when he steps into Yifan's study in a rush and finds the Emperor and his Consort curled up on the floor together, with a slither of Luhan's naked shoulder peeking out from beneath Yifan's robes that has been thrown over them. He positively flushes bright red to the tips of his ears, and turns around hastily when he puts two and two together.

"I apologise for intruding on your private moment, Your Majesty! I should have clarified first!" He shouts, and there is a momentarily pause of confusion coming from both Yifan and Luhan, though Luhan is quick to recover, a laugh bubbling out of his throat when he realises that they aren't clothed and Zitao had essentially walked in on them cuddling after their lovemaking.

Yifan pinches Luhan's bare waist lightly in an effort to silence him, only to find that it was futile. Luhan laughed harder still, and he could only sigh in exasperation before turning to address Zitao again. "It is fine, Zitao. I will be sure to let you know on the next time if we are decent enough for you to barge in." He says, a teasing lilt in his words, and he tries hard not to laugh himself when Zitao's back tenses further. "So, pray tell, what is it that you require my immediate attention, Zitao?"

"Your Advisor–" Zitao starts, though his voice is so squeaky from embarrassment that he has to clear his throat before trying again, and Luhan buries his face in Yifan's chest to silence the rest of his laughter. "Your Advisor requests for an audience with you, Your Majesty. He says it is important, and if possible, it is not to be delayed."

Yifan straightens himself at once, the seriousness seeping back into his being, and he tightens an arm around Luhan's waist in apology as he tells Zitao, "Ask him to attend to my study in an hour's time." 

He can feel the way Luhan’s fingers curl into a fist on his chest, and the dread slowly takes over his conscience, the blissful moments from earlier shattered completely by the inevitable worrying.


	5. Chapter 5

Yifan taps his fingers against the table absently as he mulls over his thoughts.

Just days ago, his advisor Junmyeon had requested for a personal audience with him, and had told him about a possible uprising from the disgruntled citizens of his nations. Based on Junmyeon's many surveys at the grassroots' level, there has been an increasing rate of displeasure and unhappiness at the way Yifan is managing the nation, and the people are suffering.

Yifan sighs. It's not as though he isn't trying – in fact, he's been trying so hard to be an Emperor at least half as good as his late father had been, but he’s falling short because he can't rally enough support from his own ministers. Everyone has a mind of their own, that much is true, but above that, the ministers seem to think that Yifan is unworthy of the throne, owing to his young age and the fact that he has married Luhan instead of getting himself a proper Empress to share his rule. Yifan wishes they could just give him a chance to prove himself, that he's willing to work with his ministers to build a better nation.

Then again, the cracks are already there and widening by the day, and Yifan honestly doesn't know how to patch them up. It doesn't help that Luhan is getting more reluctant by the day to share his thoughts on governance with Yifan, owing to the disgusting gossips they have had to bear with in an increasing frequency these days.

Yifan knows that Luhan means well, not wanting Yifan to receive more ridicule from his ministers than he already has, but sometimes, Yifan wishes Luhan would stand up for their relationship a little more. After all, there's only so much Yifan can do to convince the world by himself.

He thinks about the way his own mother looks at him sometimes, and sighs again. He had thought that things would get better as the years pass by, but it hasn't. And Yifan loathes that he can't do anything else about it, apart from offering his sincerest prayers and to wait.

"I can hear your thoughts even from here, Master Li." An amused voice, clear above the mess in his head, filters into Yifan's consciousness and successfully earns his attention. It’s peculiar, but Yifan finds himself smiling when he realises it’s Yixing who had joined him at his table.

Honestly, though, Yifan probably shouldn't be surprised by Yixing's presence anymore. He is the only scholar who really ever approached Yifan in the academy, the rest much too afraid of associating with a noble's son for fear of serious repercussions. Yifan can’t help but wonder if his citizens are being seriously oppressed by the nobles and the lower ministers in his government, but he can’t hope to find out any time soon, not when he is clothed in luxury. 

Sometimes, he wishes his mother would grant him a higher degree of freedom, but then Yifan remembers his position and swallows the thought. It’s like asking for a miracle to happen. 

"Then pray tell, Master Zhang–" Yifan begins, shooting an amused grin at Yixing who smiles serenely in return. Yifan has never seen a person so calm in his life, although Yixing could get a little spaced out sometimes. "–what have I been pondering about?"

This time, though, Yixing does flash a rare frown at Yifan. "It was merely a figure of speech, Master Li." He says as he takes his usual seat beside Yifan. “Surely you were not expecting for me to be a mind-reader, were you?” 

“I jest.” Yifan chuckles, but raises an eyebrow in concern when Yixing attempts to hide another cough behind his sleeve. His eyes rake over Yixing’s trembling form, and realises he isn’t wearing enough for winter. He does seem to be of ill health, too, though Yifan can’t help but admire Yixing’s perseverance in coming to the academy even when he is unwell. “I cannot help noticing that you have been coughing for a while, though.” He comments distractedly; surely it has been at least a month since they’ve met. 

Yifan feels oddly disturbed by the smile that Yixing manages. It’s almost as though Yixing’s hiding something from the world with it. “It’s the weather,” he tells Yifan. “I have never been able to adapt to colder temperatures, unfortunately.”

The corner of Yifan’s lips curls downwards, and he shoots a silent look in the direction of the window behind Yixing, where he knows Zitao is watching over him keenly. Zitao frowns when he catches Yifan’s eye, knowing full well what Yifan is asking of him, and Yifan can feel the disapproving vibes all the way from across the courtyard. 

This is one of those rare times when Yifan is glad he has more than enough authority to bend someone against their will. With the mere narrowing of his eyes, Zitao is already lowering his head in acquiescence, and then he is gone, working with clinical efficiency to complete the task that has been handed to him.

“...Li? Master Li?” 

Yifan blinks in momentary confusion when he hears his pseudonym being called, and finds Yixing’s concerned gaze. “Huh?” 

“Are you quite alright? You suddenly spaced out and–” 

“Yes,” Yifan cuts Yixing off with the most reassuring smile he can muster. The last thing he needs is for Yixing to worry over him in his current condition and–

Yifan halts that thought in alarm. Why is he even being so concerned over someone he barely even knew? 

Some part of him tells him he is merely being attentive to the suffering of his subjects, and Yifan wholeheartedly embraces that thought. He swallows a little, and amends himself before the pause becomes far too long to be noticeable. “I am fine, Yixing. I am fine.”

That is when their tutor for the day enters the room, and Yifan doesn’t notice the way Yixing freezes at the mention of his name, a little too intimate for the early days of their acquaintance.

 

\--

 

“I am of the humble opinion that a prosperous nation begins from having a considerate Emperor at its helm,” Yixing begins animatedly as they walk out of the academy towards Yixing’s house. He is too preoccupied with the discussion at hand to notice that his shoulder is brushing against Yifan’s arm; the bodily contact would normally have caused a blush to creep up Yixing’s neck.

Yifan doesn’t mention that fact to Yixing. At least he can share his warmth with the shorter man, he absently thinks as he takes note of the rosy tint on Yixing’s cheeks, making Yixing look much healthier than he had been when he’d first stepped into the academy that morning. Yixing is quite the stubborn man, refusing to admit that he’s cold even though he’s shivering in the confines of the classroom. 

It is also a good thing their tutor had brought up the topic on governance that day, giving Yifan the perfect opportunity to explore the topic with Yixing. He has been itching to discuss it with someone else that isn’t in the government and doesn’t have a clue that he’s the Emperor, and Yixing is just the person he has been looking for. 

Yifan cannot help but reminiscence the days of the past, when Luhan had chatted with him regarding the same topic in a carefree manner. Yifan notices that Luhan has been getting a lot more careful with his words these days, always toeing the line of the subject matter rather than crossing it as he would have had in the past. As much as he hates to acknowledge it, Luhan has fallen prey to the rigid palace protocols and its many restrictions.

Yifan barely suppresses his sigh at the thought and turns towards Yixing instead. “Do you not think that the current Emperor is considerate enough?” He asks, trying to sound neutral. It would not do for him to give away his identity, for the luxury of his mother’s leniency could be snatched away from him at once, and he dreads to think the fate that would befall Yixing if he finds out. 

Knowing his mother, heads would probably roll. Yifan shudders. 

Beside him, Yixing purses his lips in thought. “Well, I do not know. His Majesty does not show his concern for the citizens much.” 

Something wrenches in Yifan’s gut at the comment. Does the people under his rule really think so little of him? “What… do you mean by that?” 

“I do not intend to criticise His Majesty’s rule, but–” At this, Yixing’s voice drops, and Yifan has to bend a little and strain his ears to hear what Yixing has to say. It’s understandable, though. No one wants to be caught complaining about the Emperor’s reign in public. It’s treason of the highest order, and Yifan wishes he could change that. People should not be afraid to speak their thoughts. “–it is not much noticeable, I am afraid. The people are suffering from the harsh winter and natural disasters, yet aid takes such a long while to reach the grassroots. There seems to be no urgency in the actions the government take.” 

Yifan tries not to frown at the comment. He’s sure he has always asked for aid to be despatched as soon as possible, and his ministers and governors of various districts would always take note of it, so why is Yixing telling him otherwise? 

“Perhaps there are other reasons hindering the aid from reaching the people,” Yifan therefore says. He is aware of his status in Yixing’s eyes – sons of nobles would never suffer from the same fate as those who are of a lower social rank, so he thinks his answer is safe enough.

Thankfully, Yixing nods in agreement. “Indeed, Master Li.” He says, still in that quiet voice of his which oddly reverberates in Yifan’s ears. Yifan can’t help but appreciate how calming Yixing’s voice is, in a way that’s different from Luhan’s gentle but occasionally teasing lilt. “I am only saying this because it’s you, and I know that you will not report me to the magistrate, but there are corrupt government officials in every level. They have been hoarding the aid to save themselves first and foremost, before distributing the rest to the people.” 

Yifan can feel a flush of anger creeping up his neck, but he inhales deeply and keeps himself as calm as he possibly can. He has always trusted the government officials under his reign, and yet– 

“Are you sure?” He injects just the right amount of curiosity into his words. 

Yixing nods ever so slightly at the question, Yifan would probably have missed it if he hasn’t been watching Yixing keenly. Around them, people are hurrying home, eager to get away from the harshening late winter evening. No one is paying attention to the pair or the conversation they’re having. 

“It is a well-known fact amongst the commoners, Master Li.” Yixing informs. “Only the wealthy ones are uninformed, so I am not surprised that you do not know of it.” 

There is a displeased downturn of the corner of Yifan’s lips as they continue on their journey. “But that is unfair of them to do so. The wealthy ones have enough means to obtain their own supplies.” 

“Yet they do not. It is the norm, even if you are unaware of it.” Yixing shrugs, pulling his coat shut around himself when a breeze blows in their direction, bringing with it the painful winter chill. Yifan is unperturbed. His clothes are lined with animal fur, providing him enough warmth. He does, however, yearn to take his coat off for Yixing to wear. He has been so ill, too.

“Something should be done about it.” Yifan decides, before realising a little belatedly that he’d said it aloud. 

Thankfully, Yixing doesn’t think it odd for Yifan to say such things. “That is the main reason why I am determined to sit for the Imperial Examinations, Master Li.” He smiles. It’s a little bittersweet around its edges. “I intend to aid in changing the government for the better, even if I am a lone soldier in the cause. A spark has to exist to light a fire, does it not?” 

Despite the running worries he’s having, Yifan nods and returns the smile. “That is true.” He agrees easily, though at the back of his mind, Yifan secretly wants someone as enthusiastic as Yixing is to be a part of his government. He can foresee that Yixing will be a great addition, for he has a great foresight into the future and knows what sort of changes are required in Yifan’s rather stale regime, if Yifan might say so himself. 

“Do you think I will be a good government official, if I ever do pass the Imperial Examinations?” Yixing suddenly asks quietly, surprising Yifan. It’s only then that he realises that Yixing has a pensive look on his face as he walks down the alley, probably thinking about his future. Yifan decidedly likes this side of Yixing, too. 

Yifan therefore hums in response to Yixing’s question, lips pulled into a broad, reassuring smile. “I cannot personally vouch for what the Emperor may think of you–” he tells Yixing, “–but I believe that anyone with adequate determination will be a good servant for the nation.” 

Someone snorts behind them just then, causing Yifan to frown and Yixing to jump. Yifan recognises that sound from anywhere, and true enough, when they both turn around, Zitao is there, looking not the least bit remorseful that he’d essentially ridiculed Yifan’s words. Mercifully, Yifan isn’t in the mood to get angry at Zitao, though he smiles thin-lipped at Zitao in warning. 

“Zitao, I have been looking everywhere for you.” He says, pretending as though he hadn’t sent Zitao on an errand. Beside him, Yixing shrinks back a little, and Yifan tries not to laugh at the sight. It’s obvious that Zitao had scared him quite a bit on their first meeting, and Yixing is still reacting according to his muscle memory. 

“I apologise, Young Master, but I have been on an errand run–” Zitao starts, then adds with a smirk, “–on your behalf.” 

Yifan makes a mental note to get Zitao back later as he receives a brown packet from his Royal Guard. Sensing Yixing’s curious gaze on them, Yifan sighs quietly and turns to the shorter man. “This is for you. I could not help noticing that you have been coughing for a while, and this is an excellent remedy for the condition.” 

Yixing looks genuinely surprised as he glances between the medicine packet and Yifan’s face. “For me?” He asks incredulously as he takes the package into his trembling hands. Judging by the way Yixing brings it up to his nose for a slight whiff, Yifan realises that Yixing has a certain amount of knowledge regarding herbal remedies, and true enough, Yixing pales further when he identifies what exactly is in the package.

“But Master Li! I simply cannot accept this! It costs a great fortune–” 

“–and it will be difficult for you to procure.” Yifan finishes off for him. “I am sure you know this is a lot better than the herbs you have been taking, do you not?” 

Yixing appears conflicted. “But–”

Yifan sighs. “Are you not the one who is extremely eager to sit for the Imperial Examinations? Heal up and study for it, Yixing.” 

His words effectively convinced Yixing to accept the medicinal package, and Yifan finds his breath hitching involuntarily when Yixing looks up at him and beams brightly. “Thank you, Jiaheng. I should take my leave, then.” 

Only when Yixing is long gone does Zitao speak up again. “Your Majesty–” he says in a low voice, “–might I remind you that your Consort is waiting for you in the palace?” 

Yifan can feel the flush creeping up his neck, apparently having been caught staring at Yixing’s gradually disappearing form. He clears his throat and eyes Zitao sternly instead to cover up. “Not another word from you, Zitao.” 

He can hear the teasing lilt in Zitao’s voice as he bows and leads them back to the palace. “As you wish, Your Majesty.” 

Yifan decides that he doesn’t like the hidden implication behind it at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Luhan has a smile on his face as he balances the tray in his hands cautiously, trying not to spill its contents over. Behind him, the chambermaids are trying to run after him without getting too close to earn them a death sentence, their faces pale as sheets of paper.

It is unbecoming of the Emperor’s Consort to be seen carrying trays like a palace servant while his maids are trailing empty-handed behind him, Luhan knows. Luhan does feel sorry for stressing them out with his actions, but it’s something he has to do, under the identity of Yifan’s spouse and not his Consort.

Yifan has been increasingly troubled these days, with the endless stream of reports that the citizens of their nation are not satisfied with his rule coming in every morning. Luhan can see the effort Yifan has been putting into getting everything together, burning the midnight oil on more days than one, and he wishes the people could actually see it. In fact, Yifan is so scarcely seen outside his study these days, spending his time going through strategies on rebuilding the nation with his advisor Junmyeon.

Luhan worries greatly for Yifan’s health, yet he is glad at the same time, for he has Junmyeon to watch over Yifan on his behalf. Junmyeon is of great help to Yifan and his ambitions of equalling his late father’s footsteps of becoming a good enough emperor for their nation, and it calms Luhan’s slightly jealous heart, of Yifan spending most of his time with Junmyeon instead of him.

He can’t be selfish, Luhan always tells himself, for the prosperity of the nation lies ahead of his own happiness.

Besides, Junmyeon is the only one capable of doing the one thing Luhan yearns to do – to help Yifan in managing his rule without being judged for it. Although Luhan would give some input on certain policies in private, at the end of day, he remembers his position in the Court and the many restricting rules that govern it. It’s what makes Luhan hold his tongue on most times; as much as he’d like to share Yifan’s rule, the Empress Dowager is always watching him with her eagle-like eyes, silently forbidding Luhan from overstepping his boundaries.

Consorts are meant to be an embellishment to the Emperor’s already-lavish appearance, nothing more. You do not have the birth right to utter a single word on the Court.

It had been a stern warning from the Empress Dowager herself, when she realised Yifan had been requesting for input from Luhan behind closed doors. There are many ears listening in around the Forbidden City. It’s a world of backstabbing and darkness, where no one could be trusted. Luhan has learned that much, at least, from the years he’s been a voluntary prisoner confined within the walls of the palace.

He’s not sure if he would have survived this long, if he didn’t love Yifan as much as he does.

There’s a smile on Luhan’s lips when he catches a whiff of the aroma wafting from the porcelain pot on the tray. It’s one of Yifan’s favourite dishes from the commoner world, when he’d spent months roaming amongst the normal citizens before he had ascended the throne. No one but Luhan knows this, and he’s eager to keep it that way. It’s nothing like the lavish dishes presented before them on the Royal Table, but Luhan’s sure Yifan would appreciate some form of normalcy away from his responsibilities at the palace.

He comes to an abrupt stop outside Yifan’s study, though, barely keeping the lid of the porcelain pot from falling to the ground, when he nearly runs into Yifan himself.

Luhan blinks at the sight of commoner’s clothing and looks up at Yifan. While he isn’t against Yifan’s actions, he’s used to being informed about Yifan’s escapades to the outside world in the early mornings, not at this time of the afternoon. “Your Majesty,” he greets, though the confusion in his voice isn’t at all concealed. “Where could you possibly be heading in those clothes?”

At least Yifan has the decency to look apologetic when he catches sight of the tray in Luhan’s hands. “I apologise for not letting you in advance, my Consort, but I have urgent matters to attend to outside the palace.”

Luhan’s eyes cut towards Zitao, who averts his gaze at once. The boy must have been asked to conceal this. Luhan suddenly feels a little betrayed, but this isn’t the time to be petty. “At once, Your Majesty? Is it at all possible for me to delay your journey?” He asks instead, trying to keep his smile in place. 

It’s difficult, when he looks into Yifan’s deep brown eyes and finds the conflict in them. Yifan has never rejected Luhan’s offers, has never even thought about doing so, but some things have changed along the way. Luhan swallows and pretends he did not notice it. “I have made something especially for you, and I would like Your Majesty to at least enjoy this before your trip.”

Yifan wavers for a brief moment, before biting on his lower lip. The words which leave his lips later, though, makes Luhan feel as though someone had physically punched him in the gut. “I am really sorry, Han, but I really must go. I will see you tonight, I promise.”

It doesn’t take long for Luhan to order his chambermaids away, leaving him standing there alone outside Yifan’s study as he watches Yifan and Zitao walk away hastily to one of the back entrances of the palace. He doesn’t realise how badly his hands are trembling, though, until someone rests a gentle hand on his upper arm and takes the tray out of his firm grip with some difficulty.

When Luhan refocuses his vision, he sees a pair of concerned eyes staring back at him from behind a dark mask. “Your Highness,” the other man greets with a slight bow, “are you alright?”

Another heartbeat or two passes them by, before Luhan smiles shakily. “Yes, Kai. It is not a cause for concern.” It’s nothing I am not already used to, these days.

The grip on his upper arm tightens a little. “I am not too convinced about that, Your Highness.” Kai says, and Luhan wants to laugh at how Kai seems to know what’s going through his mind better than Yifan does, sometimes. “I apologise for my insolence, but would Your Highness like this humble servant to do anything for you?”

The hesitation is brief, before Luhan makes a firm decision. “Yes, in fact I do. Follow after the Emperor, and let me know what important business His Majesty has outside the palace. Be careful to stay out of Zitao’s sight.”

Kai bows in acquiescence, and is gone when Luhan blinks next. Luhan takes that as his cue to leave, sending his robes billowing after him when he turns around abruptly, heading in the direction of his own chambers.

He tries his best to keep his mind off the guilt that gnaws at him. It’s one that tells him it isn’t right for him to be suspicious of Yifan’s motives, yet Luhan can’t stop himself from wondering exactly what sort of business Yifan has outside the palace, for him to leave for his short-lived freedom so frequently these days.

He can only hope Yifan is really attending to kingdom-related matters when he’s out.

 

\-- 

 

"Are you sure that is the right move, Master Li?”

Yifan raises his head at the prompt. Around them, the snow is beginning to melt, signifying the end of the bitter winter months and the beginning of spring. He meets a pair of twinkling brown eyes when he shifts his attention away from the gridded board and looks at the man seated across him, bright and mischievous in their own way, and suddenly he feels worried.

Had he fallen into the man’s trap, he wonders, but he doesn’t let it show.

He reminds himself that this isn’t merely a game of strategy, but also a battle of mental resilience. It’s a fight to see who would be the first to crack under intense pressure.

“My name is Jiaheng, Master Zhang.” He corrects the man instead. “Surely we are long past the stage of addressing each other so formally?” Yifan says, smiling amiably as he surveys the board, contemplating his next move. There’s a short moment of hesitation, before he lifts his fingers from the white chess piece on the board. It’s a sign that he isn’t going to regret his move.

“Yixing,” the other man remarks with a warm smile, reminding Yifan of his earlier statement. Yifan holds his breath when Yixing glances up at him through his lashes, and he decides that Yixing is aiming for a psychological warfare over their game of weiqi, from the way his smile stretches wider as he eyes Yifan’s piece, the light in his eyes shining just a little brighter than before. “Shall I remind you that by playing in haste, it will only set you up for your eventual downfall?”

The uncertainty crawls its way to the surface of Yifan's consciousness again at Yixing’s statement. He knows he shouldn’t fall into the trap of Yixing’s subtle taunts, but he finds his heartstrings getting tugged involuntarily whenever he sees the smile on Yixing’s face. There is just something magnetic about Zhang Yixing, something that plunges Yifan into a state of disarray when he’s around him. Yifan can’t put a finger on the exact reason why, no matter how much he tries to analyse things.

He watches as Yixing pulls back the long, flowing sleeve of his cotton robe delicately, revealing the expanse of fair, supple skin beneath. Yifan swallows, hard, because it seems as though Yixing somehow knows of his weaknesses, of the little things that turn him on. His eyes then follow the movement of Yixing’s right hand, which picks up a black chess piece from the bowl with a gentle flick of his wrist, before he places it firmly on an intersection with a resounding clack.

And then Yifan’s eyes widen when he leans back from the board and takes in the situation of the game. He clenches his teeth, frustrated at himself for not seeing this earlier. Again, Yifan had forgotten to take into account the future moves Yixing would be able to make out of each and every one of his pieces, all because of a brief moment of distraction.

It’s a costly blunder, and Yifan knows Yixing has caught on to the change in his expression when the younger man hides a laugh behind his sleeve. Yifan wants to tell him there isn’t a need to shield it from view, that he likes the way Yixing laughs without restraints, but he doesn’t. Instead, he opts to stay silent, just admiring the way Yixing’s small frame trembles in amusement.

“You still have ways to go before you can even think of beating me in weiqi, Yifan.” Yixing comments evenly as he moves to return the chess pieces to their respective bowls when he has had enough of laughing. The outcome of the previous set was clear, as much as Yifan would’ve liked to deny it and stubbornly play on. He’s lost this round. Again.

Yifan, being Yifan, refuses to back down from a challenge, even if there is only a tiny sliver of hope for him to overcome the odds and snag a win from Yixing’s hands. “All the more reason for you to make me your disciple in weiqi, Yixing.” He smirks, and Yifan sees that twinkle in Yixing’s eyes again.

“Don’t you get distracted in the next game now, Jiaheng.”

Yifan only smiles back in defiance. It’s been such a long while since anyone had been able to beat him in weiqi, and now that he’s found a formidable opponent in the form of Zhang Yixing, he doesn’t think he’s going to give up this easily.

“We’ll see.”

 

\--

 

Yixing’s warm arm is pressed against his as they walk down the crowded streets, their laughter permeating the air as they discuss about everything and nothing at all. Admittedly, Yifan hasn’t had this much fun in a long while, and the few rounds of the very mentally-challenging weiqi battles he’s just had with Yixing are a refreshing change from the many scrolls he has had to face in his study.

“Weiqi is actually a very good game to keep your thoughts running, I think.” Yixing tells him in earnest as he waves in greeting at an elderly lady who mans a textile shop. Yifan, not wanting to appear rude, nods and smiles at her too.

“I wonder if the current Emperor plays weiqi to fill his time.” Yifan comments offhandedly when they’ve passed the store by.

“His Majesty should,” comes the reply, and Yifan turns a little to regard Yixing, eager to hear his argument.

Over the months since he’s come to know Yixing, Yifan finds that he’s a dispenser of valuable information, even if Yixing himself might not realise it. Many a time, they’ve indulged in discussions regarding governance and policy-making, with Yifan leading Yixing into the assumption that Yixing’s a member of the Court. His identity has remained safe so far, and Yifan isn’t afraid to test the boundaries before Yixing becomes suspicious of Yifan’s overzealousness in the subject of governance.

He isn’t disappointed by Yixing’s input this time, either. “Weiqi teaches us to have patience–” Yixing continues, “–how to think ahead after considering our current consequences, and then make plans for it. I believe it is a good method which could be applied to the governance of the country.”

Yifan purses his lips thoughtfully. “Watch, think, then make your move instead of rushing into things, huh. I am sure His Majesty would appreciate your suggestion, if he hears it.”

He wants to laugh when Yixing flails in response, evidently flustered by the mere thought that the Emperor would even take his feedback into consideration. If only he knew that the Emperor of China was right next to him.

Yifan doesn’t get to continue that thought, however, when someone suddenly grabs him by the arm from behind. He tenses immediately, his senses going into an overdrive from the memory of his near-assassination the other day. One of his hands flew towards his waist, only to grab at air, and Yifan suddenly wishes he had brought his dagger along. At least he would have something to defend himself with. 

Right now, though, he’s nothing but an open target to the outside world. Luhan would not be happy if he finds out about this; nor would his mother.

“Young Master,” his ‘assailant’ whispers into his ear with great urgency, and Yifan feels as though the last of his energy has been drained out of him when he recognises the voice to be Zitao’s. “We really must leave. Now.”

While Yifan would usually protest against having his fun cut short, he doesn’t do it this time. It’s the sort of tone Zitao employs with him whenever there is imminent danger, and he thinks it’s best to listen to his Royal Guard for once.

Thankfully, Yixing happens to be a very understanding person. He must’ve deduced that they have urgent business to attend to from the grim looks on their faces, because he takes a step back and smiles when Yifan turns back to look at him with the intention to explain.

“Do not worry about me, Jiaheng,” he tells Yifan. “I am able to get myself home unscathed. You should take your leave and settle whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

Yifan can hear Zitao’s grunt of approval next to him; at least his Royal Guard is gradually warming up to Yixing’s presence around Yifan. It’s a fixture that isn’t likely to change any time soon – Yifan has made it very clear, with the way he always finds himself back at the Academy even though there isn’t a reason for him to do so.

“Thank you,” Yifan says sincerely, “I will see you again sometime this week at the Academy, and I will make it up to you for the time lost today.”

“There isn’t a need for that–” Yixing replies with a grin, “–but if you insist, then I am in no position to object.”

Yifan bends a little in response to Yixing’s bow of farewell moments later, and immediately Zitao’s grip on his arm tightens again. Yifan’s half-expecting Zitao to express his disapproval about Yifan bowing to a commoner, because an Emperor bows to no one but God above, but what greets him is Zitao’s horribly urgent expression instead.

“What is wrong, Zitao?”

Zitao looks around cautiously to ensure that no one’s eavesdropping on them, before leaning in to speak in Yifan’s ear. “We have to leave at once, Your Majesty. Someone has been tailing you all day.”

It’s only then that the panic alarm in Yifan’s mind sounds, and he wordlessly allows Zitao to escort him back to the guesthouse where their steeds are being looked after. This time, even Yifan can’t stop himself from being a little more vigilant about his surroundings.

He thinks it’s only by pure luck that he’s still walking about alive right now.


	7. Chapter 7

“You have alerted Zitao on your previous assignment, have you not?” Luhan’s voice is quiet as he stares out of the window, admiring the late winter landscape outside. The snow is slowly melting away, when winter is giving way to spring to make its presence known, and Luhan welcomes the slight raise in ambience temperature with open arms. The winter has been much too cold and much too harsh, this year. 

There’s an almost soundless gasp, and the other person who is in the room with him immediately goes down on one knee, begging for his forgiveness. “My deepest apologies, Master. I should have been more careful. Please, punish me–” 

Luhan raises his hand to stop the man from saying anything else. “I am not going to punish you for something so trivial, Kai.” He sighs. Luhan doesn’t understand why the other man is so afraid of him. It’s not as though he would get angry at the smallest of matters, and he doesn’t even raise his voice most of the time. “I know Zitao’s senses are very keen. He will not let himself live it down if the Emperor’s safety is compromised because of his blunder. It is only natural that he is able to sense that you are tailing the Emperor.” 

Zitao is exactly like you, he wants to say, but doesn’t. 

“But–”

“I said it’s fine, Kai.” Luhan stresses, barely resisting the urge to massage his own temples when the throbbing in his head becomes more insistent. 

Headaches have been plaguing him rather frequently these days, especially after Yifan took it upon himself to stay cooped up in his study most of the time after that run-in with Kai. Luhan feels like a living contradiction – he’s both happy and upset about it. While Yifan is indeed in the palace more often, Luhan still doesn’t get to spend as much time with Yifan as he wishes, and he is a little bitter about that fact.

Then again, he can’t fault Yifan for deciding to focus his attention on running the country than being with him.

With those conflicting desires swirling about in his mind, Luhan continues staring out of the window. It’s a good day out. He wonders if Yifan would oblige him for a short walk in the Imperial Gardens if he asked. 

“What… may I ask, are you planning to do next, Master?” Kai speaks up again, and Luhan can still hear the slight tremble in his voice. He wishes Kai would be more at ease around him, like Zitao is around Yifan. It gets lonely sometimes, when everyone keeps a distance away from Luhan and Yifan is nowhere to be seen. Kai is as close to a friend to Luhan as could be, but even then, there’s still an invisible barrier between them, mostly on Kai’s part. 

“We will not do anything drastic for a while. I want you to lay low,” he says, finally turning around to regard Kai, who’s still kneeling on one knee. He doesn’t even try to pull Kai to stand – he knows how stubborn Kai can get, and will surely shy away from his touch if Luhan had as much reached for him. “We will both be executed without question if anyone else finds out about you.” 

Kai bows lower in acquiescence. “As you wish, Your Highness.” 

 

\--

 

“Your Majesty,” a quiet but amused voice cut into Yifan’s thoughts, bringing his gaze up to look at the other person who’s in the room with him. “Would you like to have a rest? You seem… exhausted.” 

Yifan chances a glance at his table. It’s swamped with scroll upon scroll of unread reports, and he can feel the headache surging forth again. Still, he shakes his head in response. “No, I am fine, Junmyeon. We should finish going through all of these before our next meeting with the other ministers. God forbid they will be accusing me of not fulfilling my responsibilities.” 

And Luhan will be inflicted in it, too, and that is the last thing I want to see happening. He keeps the last part of his thoughts to himself, though he suspects Junmyeon already knows what he’s thinking about when his advisor’s smile mellows down. 

“May I be so insolent to point out that we have not progressed from the third scroll?” Junmyeon says, no malice intended. Yifan looks at the scroll which lay open before him and flushes red when he realises that Junmyeon’s right. He quickly rests his ink brush against his ink well. “You have been working hard over the past few days, Your Majesty. I believe it is human nature to want some rest.”

“I am not tired, Junmyeon,” Yifan tells him, and it’s as close to the truth as he can get. He definitely can’t go around telling Junmyeon how his thoughts are being invaded by another person – a commoner, no less – even when he is sure he’s still in love with Luhan. Keeping secrets can be so exhausting. 

Junmyeon isn’t one to give up that easily, however. It’s a quality of his that Yifan greatly admires yet begrudges sometimes. “Still,” he insists, “staying cooped up in your study for too long will slow down your thought process, Yifan. The stale air and musk of old scrolls can’t be good for your mind.” 

His advisor drives a hard bargain, and Yifan knows it is serious business when Junmyeon calls him by his birth name instead of his title. Junmyeon is one of few who has the privilege of knowing Yifan (and addressing him) by his birth name, one of the very few friends Yifan actually has in the palace. He really doesn’t know what he’ll do if, by chance, he ends up losing Junmyeon one day. 

Yifan dreads to think about it. 

In the end, Yifan smiles wanly. “If only my ministers think the same way as you do, Junmyeon. My life would be so much more manageable and a lot less stressful.”

Junmyeon dips his head, flattered by the concealed praise. “I am merely standing in the light of a friend. I am sure His Highness is deathly worried about you, too.” 

Junmyeon does not tell him outright, but one simple sentence makes Yifan realise that Luhan has been talking to Junmyeon about his worries, seeking Junmyeon out because Junmyeon is probably the only person who has seen Yifan around all week. He could feel his insides lurch sickeningly; how he has neglected his Consort. 

Just then, the guard outside Yifan’s study announces the arrival of the Emperor’s Consort, and Yifan perks up in attention, eyes wide in surprise. When Junmyeon hides a smile behind his sleeve, Yifan narrows his eyes suspiciously at his advisor. “Did you–”

“I had nothing to do with this, Your Majesty. His Highness must have heard your thoughts.” Junmyeon answers a little too quickly, a little too politely that it raises Yifan’s suspicions even more. But then he decides that Junmyeon only has Yifan’s best interests in mind – Junmyeon always does – and finally lets it slide, calling out for the guard to show Luhan into the study.

Junmyeon doesn’t seem keen on becoming the third wheel in the room, though, and by the time Yifan notices it, he has already gathered what little belongings he had brought to Yifan’s study (his most treasured writing brush and ink well, both bestowed upon him by Yifan during his coronation ceremony, when he was appointed the Royal Advisor), fully prepared to leave. Junmyeon’s smile is brilliant when he catches Yifan’s eyes, in a way that warms Yifan’s heart – he wishes Junmyeon will be able to find someone who will cherish that. “You have earned yourself a good rest, Your Majesty.” He quips with a respectful bow, and, as Luhan strolled into the room, he beams at Luhan too. “And I hope that you’ll have a good time together. It has been a while, I am sure.” 

Luhan turns toward Yifan, the corner of his mouth quirked into amusement the moment Junmyeon steps out of Yifan’s study. “What was that about?” He asks.

Yifan has half the mind to say something teasing about Junmyeon, but then he looks at Luhan, dressed in the finest silk of deep purple but without other embellishments, looking every bit breath-taking in his simplicity, and decides against it. Instead, he shakes his head to wave off the matter, and offers his arm for Luhan to take. “It’s nothing. Shall we?” 

Luhan is only too eager to link his arm with Yifan’s, with a smile that reminds Yifan of all things beautiful in the world, and Yifan falls in love all over again. 

 

\--

 

Between burying himself amongst the scrolls bearing governmental policies and his constant endeavours out of the palace, Yifan had nearly forgotten how his own realm looked like. He is a little ashamed to admit he doesn’t remember the state of the Imperial Gardens back in autumn, when he’d last had a walk with Luhan before winter had swept across his land.

With that thought in mind, Yifan finds the determination to commit as much as he can to memory this time. Admittedly, he hasn’t been the best spouse one could be to Luhan in the past few months, and he wonders if Luhan resents him for that. 

The small, satisfied smile playing on Luhan’s lips when he turns to his left speaks otherwise, and the burden lifts off his shoulders, if only a little. 

Sensing Yifan’s eyes on him, Luhan raises his gaze and beams at him, taking Yifan’s breath away once again. Yifan is comforted by the knowledge that it hasn’t changed from the very moment he’d laid his eyes upon Luhan all those years ago, even with Yixing’s existence. Perhaps they both shared a part of his heart – Luhan naturally taking up a larger portion. Yifan doesn’t think he’ll ever fall out of love with Luhan.

“It is a nice day out, is it not, Your Majesty?” Luhan says, pulling Yifan out of his thoughts.

Yifan can’t suppress the laughter that slips past his lips, even though Luhan’s being formal with him. Luhan can be so aware of the palace servants following after their every step, though Yifan supposes that the Empress Dowager would be ever so pleased that her drilling of palace manners into Luhan had worked. “Are we not past the stage of talking about the weather, Luhan?” He asks, before sending their servants away. Yifan really needs all the privacy they can get, though for the sake of their safety, he keeps Zitao around.

Thankfully, Zitao has enough sense to keep a good distance away from Yifan and Luhan, guarding them closely yet not nearly enough to be intrusive. Luhan nods at Zitao in thanks, and the Royal Guard smiles back. 

The pout that Luhan flashes at Yifan at his previous comment, though, only makes Yifan want to laugh even more. “I have run out of conversation topics with you, what with your prolonged absence.” 

Yifan doesn’t know if Luhan’s merely joking with him, but he does feel guilty for that. “I apologise, love, but things have been a little messy with the Court.” 

In a placating gesture, Yifan wraps an arm around Luhan’s narrow shoulders, drawing him closer. There is a gentle breeze blowing, making the ambience temperature dip a little, and Yifan doesn’t miss how Luhan had tried to repress a shudder at the cold. Sometimes Luhan can be so careless with the way he dresses, especially during winter. Yifan smiles fondly at the memory of him taking care of Luhan when he had fallen ill, six winters ago. 

Luhan doesn’t give up on the opportunity to snake his own arm around Yifan’s waist. “I know,” he says quietly, his voice an odd blend of amusement and wistful. “I have told you this once – I will not fault you for paying more attention to the country than you do me.”

“Indeed, you have.” Yifan sighs. Again, he yearns to go back to the times when he’d been nothing more but the Crown Prince, with the freedom to roam without worries. Those have indeed been the happiest years of Yifan’s life thus far, when he could do whatever he wished with Luhan and not fall under public scrutiny. How their lives have changed since then. “But I wish I could have the best of both worlds – to govern well, and to spend more time with you.” 

Luhan hides a chuckle behind his sleeve as they continued on their stroll down the still-frozen pond, the melting snow crunching beneath their shoes with every step taken. Behind them, Zitao’s footsteps are surprisingly silent. 

“Is that not what you are doing right now, Yifan?” He points out. “I truly am satisfied to be able to spend even a short minute with you. Worry not.” 

Once again, Yifan is struck with guilt when his mind helpfully reminds him that he has been spending a lot more time with Yixing than with Luhan in the past few weeks. The weight of Zitao’s gaze on his back only reinforces that guilt, and Yifan fights hard to ignore that. 

He really has to find a way to keep his mind off of Yixing, but already he knows it’s a battle lost before it has even been fought. There’s something enigmatic about his attraction towards Yixing. Yifan still can’t understand his own feelings.

In an effort to ease his own guilt, Yifan laces his fingers with Luhan, and turns Luhan around to face him. There’s nothing more beautiful than the way Luhan’s eyelashes flutter shut when Yifan caresses his soft cheek with gentle strokes of his finger, the contentment clearly reflected on his face. 

Yifan thinks he’s terrible for liking Yixing when he has someone like Luhan by his side – but you can’t choose who your heart decides to beat for. 

“What is there to worry–” Yifan says quietly, swallowing hard and trying to drown out his raging thoughts. “–when you have assured me time and again that you are here?” 

His internal conflict doesn’t get washed away, even as Yifan bends down to catch Luhan’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss, even as the melting snow clinging to the tip of the bamboo leaves fall upon them in a gentle, brief drizzle when the early spring breeze sweeps past them.


	8. Chapter 8

_I will see you again sometime this week at the Academy, and I will make it up to you for the time lost today._  
  
Yixing groans aloud and runs a hand through his hair in frustration when those words repeat themselves in his mind. It has been two weeks moving onto three since he'd heard them, yet the person who had said it to him hasn't returned to fulfil his promise.  
  
Exhaling loudly through his nose, Yixing slams the tome he has been perusing earlier shut. He thinks it's impossible for him to pay attention any longer, especially when his mind has already been intruded by those words multiple times by now. The fear and trepidation grows stronger when he thinks about how close the Imperial Examinations are, how much he has left to study, how unprepared he is right now to face them.  
  
Perhaps he will attempt to study again tomorrow. He is not in the right frame of mind to continue.  
  
For now, though, Yixing rises from his seat, stretching a little to ease the stiffness in his muscles. The sun is shining brightly outside, the birds finally out of hibernation and filling the early spring air with their beautiful songs, and Yixing can't help but smile a little at the blooming flowers, the stress slowly slipping out of his consciousness. Spring has come a little earlier this year, but Yixing isn't one to begrudge that. Anything to get him away from the weekly, protracted coughing fits which would end up with blossoming patches of scarlet on his sleeves on occasion.   
  
Yixing tries not to think about what his physician had told him on his last visit, of his worsening health.   
  
That inevitably brings Yixing back to the thoughts of Li Jiaheng and his bright, gummy smiles, however. He doesn't know why he's so hung over that one phrase Jiaheng had said to him, when Jiaheng is nothing but a classmate to Yixing, a friend at best. Sure, Jiaheng is somewhat different from the rest of the scholars pursuing their studies in the Academy, with his glaringly high social status that is reflected by the thread which have given rise to the clothes on his back, made of fine silk and other material that can only be afforded by the richest of nobles.   
  
Yixing likes that Jiaheng doesn't allow his social status to get in the way of their friendship, though. Never once has Jiaheng boasted about his more fortunate family background to Yixing, even if he has seen Yixing's rather crude space of living. The only exception had been the time when he'd given Yixing a packet of very expensive medicinal herbs, though that was in hopes that Yixing would have a speedy recovery from the cough which had been plaguing him for weeks.  
  
Yixing still doesn't understand why Jiaheng had gone out of his way to do that for him. Actually, Yixing doesn't quite understand most of the things Jiaheng does for him, or even the reason behind Jiaheng’s willingness to spend time with him. Yixing is not an interesting person, he knows, his mind only filled with ideas on how to improve the country. He is not humorous, and does not know how to entertain others either. So why?   
  
He begins to think that he does not understand himself too. Why is he so hung up over a promise given by a noble's son, when he knows that most of them are nothing but lies?   
  
Exhausted, Yixing drops himself on his bed and continues pondering about that fact. Sometimes he doubts whether his experiences are real. Granted, he has never interacted with another member of nobility before he had met Jiaheng, so he doesn’t know what constitutes as the norm when it comes to nobility behaviour. He can only hope that whatever he has with Jiaheng is genuine.   
  
Yixing dislikes it when things get too confusing. He’s nothing but a poor scholar trying to get his voice heard. Life shouldn’t be this complicated.   
  
He’s startled out of his thoughts when a short succession of raps against wood catches his attention, and Yixing blinks blearily for a brief moment until he realises that someone’s knocking on the door to his bedroom. With haste, he clambers off his bed, not forgetting to straighten his clothes before opening the doors, even if he knows it’s most likely one of his parents out there.   
  
As expected, the kind, smiling face of his mother is the one that greets him. “Am I disturbing you?” She asks, and Yixing remembers belatedly that his hair is probably dishevelled too. He self-consciously combs at the ends of his hair, frowning when he accidentally drags a little too much of it out of the bun sitting on the top of his head. He’ll deal with that later.   
  
“No, Mother. I was just taking a short rest from my studies,” he tells her, stepping aside to let her into his room.   
  
His mother seems pleased to hear that – she has always been a strong advocate of him taking more breaks during his study sessions than he usually does. To his surprise, though, his mother hands him an envelope instead, patting his hand gently when he accepts it. “A letter just came for you, delivered by a child,” she explains, sensing the confusion radiating from Yixing. “It seems he has been told to relay the message, that you should read it the moment you receive it.”   
  
Yixing frowns at the envelope. The paper feels expensive in his hands, from the texture to its weight, and Yixing rakes through his mind for any possible acquaintance who can afford it. He only comes up with one person, and it baffles him even more. There isn’t a reason why  _he_ should write to him.   
  
Yixing quickly thanks his mother, though, before the pause becomes too noticeable. “I will be sure to read this,” he tells her, and she leaves after advising him to rest a little longer, that his face is still too pale and sickly for her to believe that he has recovered completely from his previous bout of illness.   
  
Dazed, Yixing examines the envelope once again as he closes the door behind him, as though it would give him more clues to discovering its author’s identity. He doesn't actually open it until he gets to his bed, where he thinks will be a good shock absorber for whatever he may find in the envelope. His hands are surprisingly steady as he tears open the envelope and unfolds the letter, his heart leaping when he recognises the scrawl inked on paper.   
  
By the time he arrives at the tail end of the letter, there's an inexplicable sense of exhilaration stirring within him, making his heart pound from profound joy. It takes another minute for him to hop off his bed with a lot more energy than he usually has, rummaging through his trunk of clothes for something proper to put on.  
  
He doesn’t stop to ponder about the possible reasons behind his happiness at receiving the letter.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Yifan really thinks that he should be a target for ridicule.   
  
Just days ago, he had been fretting over his own feelings, caught between his love for Luhan and his attraction towards Yixing, the latter of which remains a mystery to Yifan himself, and now here he is, standing in the garden of the Academy waiting for someone else who isn't Luhan to arrive.   
  
Yifan thinks that his severe lack of self-control when it comes to Yixing is growing into a monumental problem. It was spontaneity dictating his actions when Yifan had picked up his writing brush and composed a letter to Yixing beneath the dim moonlight streaming in through his windows a few nights ago, for fear of waking his sleeping spouse several steps away. The guilt he felt deep within when he met Luhan's smiling face the first thing in the morning had bordered on being intolerable, but still he'd asked Sungmin to deliver the letter to Yixing on his behalf once Luhan excuses himself for his daily reading session. It has been too long since he's seen Yixing in person, and the unfulfilled promise nags at him night after night.   
  
He doesn't even need Zitao's judging stares to tell him that he's in the wrong, this time.   
  
"You need to make up your mind, Your Majesty." Zitao tells him quietly as Yifan continues to pace around the garden restlessly. The boy has learned how to overstep his boundaries as a Royal Guard and give advices as a friend these days – as much as he is allowed to without incurring Yifan’s wrath, anyway. Yifan doesn’t know if it’s a good thing that he’s starting now. "This humble servant does not think His Highness will be too pleased when he finds out you have been meeting this Zhang Yixing so frequently. Angry, even.”   
  
Yifan pauses in his step and links his fingers behind his back, staring up at the early morning sun above them. “I know,” he tells Zitao honestly, and even to his own ears, his words sound burdened. “But do you remember what I have told him all those weeks ago, when I was tailed by an unknown person?”  
  
It takes Zitao a while to backtrack his memories, but he does nod after a brief moment’s silence. Yifan sighs. “I am a man of my word. I do not wish to appear as someone who is only good at lip service. Either way, my existence as the Emperor of China does not permit me to go against my promises to my people.”   
  
Zitao doesn’t seem convinced by Yifan’s argument; Yifan doesn’t, either. Somewhere deep down, Yifan thinks he’s only saying those words to pacify his own guilt, to give a solid reasoning for his meeting with Yixing, when in fact it doesn’t even matter. Yixing does not know of his true identity. Yifan doesn’t have an obligation to keep his word. He could very well disappear and not make his presence known to Yixing ever again, returning to his true role as the Emperor, yet for some reason, his conscience would not let him live that thought down.   
  
“If you say so, Your Majesty,” Zitao says, still sceptical, then, in a less formal tone, “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”  
  
They both startle when the main gate to the Academy creaks open, whipping around in its general direction to see who had just walked in. Yifan relaxes significantly when he realises that Yixing is here, and with one short look, Zitao is already bowing in acquiescence at Yifan’s silent order.   
  
“I will be lingering close by, Your Majesty.” Zitao promises, even though it isn’t necessary. Yifan knows that Zitao will always be watching after every step he takes, and it’s the one of the reasons why he does not worry much when he walks amongst the subjects of his kingdom in commoners’ clothing. He’s also sure Sungmin and Han Geng are around, despite him not having given a direct order for them to guard him.   
  
With one brief nod of acknowledgement from Yifan, Zitao retreats into the shadows, concealing himself completely from view just as Yixing emerges through the archway leading into the garden.   
  
“Yixing,” Yifan greets somewhat breathlessly, completely taken in by how healthy Yixing looks now, his cheeks a light tinge of pink from the cold still hanging in the air. “You made it.”   
  
The disbelief must have been so clearly reflected in his words, that it invites a hearty laugh out of Yixing. Yifan has seen the way Yixing acts around the other scholars in the Academy, so careful and quiet and reserved – this is definitely a refreshing side of Yixing to see.   
  
Somehow, the fact that Yixing can let himself go and be himself around Yifan makes him feel less flustered than he should be.   
  
“Of course.” Yixing answers as-a-matter-of-factly, moving to stand before Yifan. There’s a teasing grin on his lips, and Yifan can feel his cheeks heat up a little at how close they are right now. “Did you think I was going to give up on a chance to spend the day with you?”   
  
Yifan doesn’t know what he has been expecting, but it  _definitely_  wasn’t for this, and he finds that he’s at a loss for words. That, and the fact that he has a sudden urge to wipe that mischievous smile off Yixing’s lips with his own. It’s only thanks to Zitao, who decided that it’s the perfect moment to clear his throat, that Yifan banishes the insane idea. He clears his own throat for good measure, in case Yixing realises that something isn’t right and starts wondering just who else is in the garden with them. It’s supposed to be an off day for the rest of the scholars, hence Yifan’s decision for them to meet there.   
  
“I could not be sure,” Yifan says, a little too honestly that it takes himself by surprise, but still he ploughs on. “I mean, there is no reason for you to agree to my invitation on such short notice. I know the Imperial Examinations are looming, and–”  
  
“ _Jiaheng_ ,” Yixing’s still laughing, and Yifan blushes a shade deeper. “There is no need for you to doubt that I will answer to your invitations. We are friends, are we not?”   
  
Friends. Yifan’s eyes widen a little at the term, like he hasn’t been expecting that to happen, because Yifan has never really made friends with anyone else apart from the people he knows from the palace, owing to his status as the Crown Prince then, and the Emperor of China now.   
  
He can’t, however, stop the inexplicable sense of disappointment – and bitterness? – that bubbles up within him. He hopes his feelings do not carry over to his smile, when he nods and says, “Yes, we are friends.”  
  
Yixing’s answering smile is bright; so bright that it actually  _hurts_ , and Yifan is left thinking how being friends with Yixing is no longer enough.  
  
The thought frightens him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Yifan is like a bird who does not like to be caged.   
  
Luhan knows of that fact very well, from the very moment he found out that Yifan was the Crown Prince of China, the future successor of the Dragon’s Throne. It is obvious from the way Yifan acts that he loathes to live a controlled life, explained by the way he had made protracted trips out of the palace to be with Luhan.   
  
What Luhan does not understand though, is why he bothers hoping that Yifan would change his ways after their marriage. Yifan has made it clear to Luhan, on more occasions than one, that he is assuming his responsibility as the Emperor of China because he is obligated to. It is his destiny, and they both know better than anyone else that it is impossible to change it.   
  
He laments that fact as he drags a finger slowly across the window sill. He isn’t even in the mood to admire the early spring scenery outside his room, which overlooked the Imperial Gardens. It only reminds him of the day when he had a walk with Yifan, of the gentle kiss he had pressed to Luhan’s lips.   
  
Luhan has tried not to think about it, but even now, he can taste the silent apology that came with it. He chews on his lower lip in frustration, not understanding why he had gotten such vibes from Yifan.   
  
Feeling sick to the stomach, Luhan moves to pull the windows shut, when a pigeon flies in and sits by his hand. Luhan watches it curiously for a moment, wondering where it had come from, before he notices the small scroll tied to its leg. He wastes no time in undoing the knot and pulling the scroll free, after which he frees the bird once again.  
  
He immediately recognises the writing on the paper when he opens it. It’s a message from Kai, and Luhan finds himself biting on his lower lip even harder than before once he’s done perusing the message, to the point of tasting blood.  
  
 _He is meeting with a commoner_ , the message reads,  _the same one from before_.  
  
Luhan has never felt more infuriated in his life.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
“May this humble servant make a comment, Your Majesty?” Luhan’s voice carries over from behind the screen when Yifan steps into his sleeping chambers, and Yifan actually freezes in his steps. He hasn’t been expecting for Luhan to still be around, especially when it’s already late into the night, though he supposes it’s a given. It has been quite a while since Luhan had returned to his private chambers, opting instead to spend the nights in Yifan’s, though more often than not, Yifan would find Luhan asleep with his head pillowed by his folded arms at the table. On such times, Yifan would scoop his sleeping lover into his arms, and carry him to their bed. On such times, Yifan would be surprised at how light Luhan has gotten, wondering if his Consort has been eating well.   
  
He’s still dressed in commoner’s clothing from earlier, but Yifan waves off the maids, deciding that there isn’t a need for them to linger in his chambers. His clothing would eventually be taken care of, anyway. They bow deeply, then left Yifan alone to be with Luhan.   
  
“What is it, my Consort?” He asks as he manoeuvres around the silk screen – it’s a painting of the vast lands of his nation, given by one of the Lords of the Court – and his mouth goes dry when his eyes fall upon Luhan.   
  
Luhan is dressed in a silk robe of pale orange that night, one that complements him well and brings out the translucency of his skin, the strings of beads on his headgear clacking together as he hunches over the table to work on his latest piece. There’s a small, thoughtful smile on Luhan’s lips as he pressed brush to paper, and Yifan swallows at the way Luhan is daintily drawing his sleeve back to avoid staining the fine silk, revealing a small expanse of pale skin. In Luhan’s presence, Yifan feels a lot like a mere commoner in his current get-up, and Luhan, the true Emperor of China.   
  
Yifan watches every graceful flick of Luhan’s wrist as he works on a character, mesmerised, and it isn’t until Luhan replaces his brush on its stand with a soft clack of wood against wood that Yifan snaps out of his daze. Luhan chuckles softly at the way Yifan jumps a little, his eyes shining with mirth from behind his sleeve.   
  
“This humble servant does not mean to dictate your actions, Your Majesty, but you have been leaving the palace grounds again very often as of late.” Luhan says when Yifan finally takes a seat on one of the plush floor cushions next to Luhan.  
  
Yifan turns away from where he had been peering at the open scroll on the table and raises an eyebrow at Luhan. “Junmyeon thinks it is good for me to spend a little more time at the grassroots’ level, instead of facing the scrolls all day long. The dissent is growing to a worrying degree,” he tells him, and Luhan nods understandingly to his words as he presses his teacup against his lips, taking a small sip of it.  _Molihua_ , no doubt; Luhan has always particularly favoured the scent of jasmine.   
  
“If this humble servant hadn’t known better–” Luhan’s gaze cuts up from his cup and flickers towards Yifan, the mischievousness dancing in his eyes. “–this humble servant would have thought that Your Majesty is fooling around with a commoner.”  
  
Yifan rightfully stiffens at that, but if Luhan had noticed it, he doesn’t comment. He forces himself to relax. Yixing is still supposed to stay a secret for now. “How could I possibly, when I have you?” He placates, reaching over to hold Luhan’s hand in his before pressing a kiss to the inside of his wrist. He relishes the way Luhan shudders at the gesture, his gaze darkening a little, and Yifan can see the sparks of desire beginning to form in them.   
  
“This humble servant is honoured–” Luhan starts, but a low growl rumbles in Yifan’s chest then and cuts him off.   
  
“Enough with the formalities,” Yifan says, frustrated. Luhan knows he doesn’t like being addressed in such a manner when they were in private. Luhan only smiles at him unrepentantly, though Yifan wipes that smile off by pulling Luhan into his lap and pressing more kisses into his wrist.   
  
“You are impatient today, Yifan.” Luhan comments, sounding oddly breathless, and it pleases Yifan to hear the hoarseness in Luhan’s voice.   
  
“I have not been with you for a while, Han. I apologise for that.” He smiles, and removes Luhan’s headgear for him. It digs into his flesh when Luhan lays down on his lap, and Yifan personally thinks that it will get in his way.   
  
Luhan merely shakes his head, and looks up at Yifan, his eyes hooded. Yifan wants to lick a stripe up his exposed neck. “I understand that you have important duties to attend to, Yifan. Your people are far more important than my happiness. I have told you this many times before.”   
  
“That is not true.” Yifan frowns as he pulls Luhan up into a sitting position. Luhan offers no resistance, and presses his back against Yifan’s chest, nuzzling his cheek against Yifan’s. Yifan’s eyes slide shut at the warmth that is radiating off Luhan, familiar and welcomed. He doesn’t think he could feel more at home than when he is with Luhan. “I will always put your happiness above everything else. You know how important you are to me.”   
  
“You are a charmer.” Luhan laughs, but turns around to catch Yifan’s lips in a tender kiss. Yifan holds him upright by his wrists, sliding his lips over Luhan’s languidly, but he jerks backwards when Luhan mischievously licks at Yifan’s lower lip.   
  
“I missed you,” Luhan tells him, as though it would explain his actions, and Yifan is vaguely aware of the way Luhan’s slender forefinger is drawing idle circles on his chest. The commoners’ clothing is far too thin, even if it is made of expensive cotton, and Yifan can feel the weight of Luhan’s finger on his chest. It sends a spark of desire down his spine.   
  
Yifan leans in and presses their foreheads together, his breath ghosting over Luhan’s lips as he says, “I have missed you too”, and he closes the distance between their lips again. This time, their kisses are messier, and Yifan tries to force entry by pressing his tongue insistently against Luhan’s lips. Only when Yifan cants his hip into Luhan’s does Luhan’s lips part in a quiet moan, allowing Yifan to slip his tongue into him and explore his warm mouth with it.  
  
Another soft moan is torn out of Luhan’s throat when Yifan sucks on his tongue, then a whine when Yifan pulls away from him, moving his attention to Luhan’s pale wrist instead. It isn’t much of a secret that Yifan likes leaving his mark on the insides of Luhan’s wrist, visible to others when the sleeves slide back to reveal the skin there. Above all, it pleases Yifan to know that he’s the one who has left the marks there, telling the whole world that Luhan is  _his_. Luhan lets him, watching with hooded eyes as Yifan nibbles at his skin, tiny mewls leaving his swollen lips when Yifan sucks the skin into his mouth and licks at it.   
  
When Yifan is done leaving his marks on both of Luhan’s wrists, he returns his attention to Luhan’s neck, kissing a trail back to his mouth, and Luhan can only throw his head back in pleasure, giving Yifan more access. Yifan’s hand moves towards the tie holding Luhan’s robes together as he seals Luhan’s mouth with his again, tugging lightly to undo the knot. The orange silk slides off Luhan’s shoulder and falls to the ground, and Luhan shudders from the sudden loss of heat. It’s barely two weeks into the start of spring, the temperature still a little too chilly for comfort, and even if Yifan’s chamber is heated, it doesn’t stop Luhan from feeling the cold.   
  
Yifan is eager to warm him up though, as their kisses get messier and more open-mouthed. He gently lowers Luhan to the ground and undoes the knot holding his inner robe together, then sits back on his heels as he drinks in the sight of Luhan’s naked skin, flushed down to his chest. Even if he has seen Luhan like this countless times, stripped bare and panting on his bed, Yifan still can’t believe that he is living in reality, that Luhan is here with him.   
  
There was once upon a time when Yifan had thought that this isn’t going to be possible, that his mother would be opposed to their relationship, because it simply was not heard of, to have another male as the Emperor’s Consort. But Yifan was determined to make this work, and even fought against his mother to keep Luhan by his side. He could fuck another woman and have her bear the successor to his throne as he had promised his mother, but at the end of the day, Yifan’s heart still remains with Luhan.   
  
Yifan gasps in surprise when Luhan tugs at his robes and pulls him down. “Are you going to leave me here to freeze to death,  _Your Majesty_?” Luhan teases, and Yifan shuts him up with another kiss.   
  
“Of course not, my Consort, for I will join you in the afterlife if you should leave my side.” He laughs, then moves to cover Luhan’s chest with kisses and marks. Luhan’s retort dies in his throat when Yifan swirls his tongue around a pert nipple, making Luhan arch into him, and Yifan’s broad hands roam all over Luhan’s skin, feeling the way his body trembles beneath him. Luhan’s hands make quick work of Yifan’s clothes in the meantime, having been used to them back in the days when he had roamed the streets as a commoner himself. It’s definitely less cumbersome than Yifan’s usual royal robes, heavy and thick and multi-layered.   
  
When Yifan is about to remove Luhan’s underpants, Luhan stops him and pushes him to lie on the floor cushions instead. He smiles at Yifan when Yifan shoots him a confused look. “My existence is to serve you, Your Majesty. Let me please you for tonight,” he quips, ignoring the frown that creases Yifan’s forehead at the term, and slides the last of Yifan’s clothes off him.  
  
Yifan moans and bucks his hips upwards when Luhan wraps his slender fingers around his half-hard cock, feeling the blood rush down south when Luhan gives it several expert jerks. He arches off the cushions when Luhan wraps his lips around his cock, eyes squeezing shut in pleasure at the warmth that surrounds it. He remembers the time when they had been inexperienced with this; it isn’t as though Yifan did not have his fair share of fun with other women – with daughters of nobles who wished to marry into the palace and perhaps become his Empress, or the occasional pretty maid or two – but it had been the first time he’d ever done such things with another man. He remembers the hesitant touches and the way Luhan’s features had been contorted in exquisite pain when he pushed into Luhan, the way he had kissed Luhan’s tears away, and his heart swells when he thinks about how far they have come since then.   
  
Another moan is pulled out of Yifan’s throat when Luhan licks a stripe up the underside of his cock, before pressing kisses onto the head and darting his tongue out to dip into his slit, and then Luhan is swallowing his length again, his fingers covering where his mouth can’t reach. Luhan chokes a little when Yifan’s cock hits the back of his throat, and Yifan tries his best to stay still so as to not make things difficult for Luhan. He’s making Yifan feel  _so good_ , it would be unfair of Yifan to think of his own pleasure over Luhan’s comfort.   
  
Yifan finds himself coming into Luhan’s mouth after several more sucks, when the back of Luhan’s throat clamps down on his cock, and Luhan swallows his load, sucking Yifan through his orgasm. He presses a tender kiss to the head of Yifan’s cock when Yifan stills, then climbs up to let Yifan have a taste of himself.   
  
Yifan smiles against Luhan’s lips as he brushes the damp hair out of his face, feeling in an utter bliss with Luhan in his arms. “You are amazing as always, love.” He says, and is about to surrender to his exhausted state when he feels Luhan’s cock nudging against his thigh, and remembers that Luhan has not had his release yet. With much difficulty, Yifan pulls them both to stand, and he scoops Luhan into his arms against Luhan’s protests and carries him the rest of the way to their bed, gently placing Luhan on it.   
  
“You should not do such things, Yifan. The Empress Dowager will not approve of Your Majesty doing heavy work.” Luhan pouts at him as Yifan settles between his legs.  
  
Yifan silences him with a chaste kiss before reaching for the bottle of scented oil behind the pillow, coating his fingers with a generous amount of it. “The Empress Dowager does not have to know of what we do in the sleeping chambers, Han.” He tells him, and spreads Luhan’s thighs wide open. They exchange a short look, and then Yifan is pushing a finger into Luhan, watching as his back arches away from the bed, his fully-erect cock curling towards his stomach, red and leaking at the tip.   
  
It is a beautiful sight.   
  
Yifan slowly works Luhan open with his fingers, adding a second and third in close succession when Luhan fucks himself down on Yifan’s digits. Yifan likes watching Luhan come undone under his ministrations, writhing on the bed and begging for him to go faster, with Yifan’s name tumbling off his well-kissed lips in a fervent manner. Yifan reaches for Luhan’s cock, wrapping his free hand around his length and spreading the precum over the head with his thumb, jerking him off in tandem with the rhythm at which he is scissoring Luhan, and Luhan throws his head around from the double stimulation.  
  
When Luhan is close to his completion, Yifan pulls his fingers out of Luhan, earning a disappointed moan from him, but then Yifan is slathering scented oil over his own cock. Luhan practically  _begs_  when Yifan lines himself up against Luhan’s entrance, and they grunt in unison when Yifan finally pushes himself into Luhan, filling him up to the hilt. Yifan pushes Luhan’s knees up against his chest to allow him more room to move, pounding into Luhan in earnest. As with other nights, Yifan finds Luhan’s prostate soon enough, and Luhan turns into a complete wreck on the bed as Yifan hits that spot over and over again, his nails clawing into Yifan’s back and leaving his mark there.   
  
Luhan comes with a loud scream moments later, his body held away from the bed in a beautiful arch as his orgasm high wracks through his nerve endings, and Yifan continues to thrust into him, coming into Luhan with his face buried in Luhan’s neck moments later. He laps lazily at the sweaty skin of Luhan’s neck as he feels his cock go soft in Luhan, though Luhan stops him when Yifan tries to pull out.   
  
“I want to stay like this for a while more,” Luhan says, his cheeks flushed from their lovemaking and from embarrassment. “I have not had you in me for a while.”   
  
“Your wish is my command, love.” Yifan grins, and he wraps his arms around Luhan, drawing him closer before covering their naked bodies with the covers. Luhan snuggles deep in Yifan’s chest, tucking himself under Yifan’s chin, and his breath slowly evens out as the sleep claimed him.   
  
Yifan smiles at Luhan’s sleeping form in his arms, so peaceful and free of worries, and he presses a kiss to Luhan’s forehead. But then the guilt worms its way back into his conscience as the night grows deeper, gnawing at him for having lied to Luhan about many things – the greatest being Yixing’s existence. It is obvious that Luhan offers Yifan his unconditional trust, and Yifan’s heart twitches guiltily at that. He wishes he could pull himself out of whatever he shared with Yixing, but Yifan can’t help but think it’s a little too late for that, now.   
  
He doesn’t fall asleep for a long while, with thoughts of Luhan and Yixing jumbled up in his mind.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Luhan opens his eyes when Yifan’s breathing evens out enough to let Luhan know that he’s finally asleep, watching the love of his life from where Luhan’s head is pillowed by Yifan’s chest.   
  
It’s obvious that Yifan has a lot on his mind, evidenced by the hesitant touches on his skin when Yifan thought Luhan was already in a deep sleep. Luhan thinks he heard a silent apology or two coming from Yifan, though he does not follow that thought because it  _hurts_.  
  
He had tried to bait Yifan into confessing about the commoner he’s been seeing, but Yifan is surprisingly tight-lipped about it. Luhan feels terrible for doubting Yifan like this, but when Kai – his most loyal servant – tells him what he’s seen, Luhan can’t keep the imagery out of his mind. He can’t accuse Yifan in the open, either, because Yifan is not supposed to know of Kai’s existence. It will require a whole lot of explanation, of which Luhan isn’t prepared to give.   
  
He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to let Yifan know about his family background.   
  
Luhan curls his fingers into Yifan’s skin, swallowing deeply as he begins to fear about his future with Yifan. In all the years of his existence, he has never expected for this to happen, and he really wishes he could do something about it.  
  
A stray tear escapes the corner of his eye, when he realises that it is probably going to be futile. He can only hope. 


	10. Chapter 10

The two weeks leading up to the Imperial Examinations and the week after it were complete torture to Yifan.   
  
He had struck a deal with Yixing, agreeing on not seeing each other until Yixing was done with the examinations, in order for Yixing to concentrate on his studies. Yifan knows how important the examinations are to Yixing, and he loathes to be the one to distract Yixing from it. He doesn't know what he'll do, how he'll feel to see Yixing dejected if by any chance he doesn't make it to the topmost rankings because of Yifan.   
  
Their deal also meant that Yifan can't concentrate well on national matters, because he's always inadvertently worrying about Yixing's health, even if he has set his mind on not thinking about it. He's not as worried about Yixing not being able to answer the questions, because from all his conversations with the other man, Yifan can gather that he's a person with excellent intelligence and a farsightedness that will shine in his answers. He's only fretting about how hard Yixing will push himself to achieve his goals, despite Yifan's countless advices to take it easy. The man is stubborn, that much is for sure.   
  
"Your Majesty, are you quite alright?" There's a soft touch to his arm, the familiar warmth seeping in through the thinning layers of his robes, and Yifan finds himself getting jolted back to reality.   
  
He pales a little when his vision swims before refocusing on the hall full of his ministers in front of him, and Yifan chastises himself for drifting off at the most important of moments. The more senior of ministers have displeased looks on their faces – Yifan doesn't fault them for it – evidently unhappy that Yifan isn't paying complete attention to their discussion at hand.  
  
There should not be matters more important than the future of the nation. Yifan should know it best.  
  
The encouraging smile on Luhan's face when Yifan turns to his right, though, gives him strength to plough on. It's one of the rarer times where Luhan had actually agreed to accompany Yifan on his weekly morning meetings with his ministers, and so far, Luhan has thrown in some very valuable input throughout their discussion – which, Yifan is pleased to note, had caused several of his ministers to seal their mouth shut from their complete inability to find fault in Luhan's ideas.   
  
He wonders if this session would change it all, if his ministers would be more accommodating to Luhan's presence after getting an idea about his hidden intelligence. He really hopes this can be a more permanent fixture.   
  
Yifan clears his throat when Luhan nudges him again, quietly relaying to Yifan that his Court awaits. "I apologise for my momentary distraction." He says, hoping his sincerity will carry across. "You have my word that I will not let my own thoughts carry away again. Now, where were we?"   
  
"The Imperial Examinations, Your Majesty." Junmyeon helpfully supplies from Yifan's left, to which Yifan nods thankfully to, though the simple mention of those two words has Yifan's heart racing in anticipation. He'd nearly forgotten that they would discuss about the examinees who have stood out during the year's test on the Court, allowing everyone a glimpse of the wisdom of who might possibly be their future colleague or successor.   
  
While Yifan is a little upset at not being able to pick out the outstanding entries with his own hands (and read Yixing's, in the process), he doesn't actively go against the Secretary's decisions. It would seem odd, if Yifan should suddenly express excessive interest in this year's examinations, when he would always allow Junmyeon to make the decisions on his behalf in the past. He would probably be a little  _too_  biased and place Yixing right at the top.  
  
It doesn't stop Yifan from hoping that Yixing's paper had caught the Secretary's interest, however. It's the only way Yifan will probably get to read his work. One must be outstanding enough to stand out of the massive number of participants throughout the country.   
  
"Can you please enlighten me on the situation, Secretary Park?" Yifan urges, trying not to sound too eager. He can feel the weight of Luhan's curious gaze on him, and the urge to squirm becomes a little too difficult to suppress. Perhaps Yifan is being overly sensitive, but there's something about the look on Luhan's face, well-concealed but still noticeable by Yifan, that tells him Luhan knows something he shouldn't.   
  
"We have narrowed down the more outstanding examinees to a grand total of ten, Your Majesty." Secretary Park tells him, and Yifan frowns a little as he does a mental calculation of the dates. Something isn't quite right.   
  
"Do you not usually take longer than a week to process the papers, Secretary? Are there not many citizens who came to sit for the examination, because of the country's current situation?" Yifan wonders aloud, just as Secretary Park waves for his assistant to carry a golden tray with several scrolls stacked upon it to the Court.   
  
"I believe so, Your Majesty–" Secretary Park concedes, before bowing and presenting the golden tray for another of Yifan's Royal Guards to accept from his hands. "–but I assure you and everyone here that these are the most excellent examinees we have seen in the recent years."   
  
Yifan hesitates for a moment, then requests for the golden tray to be brought to him. Meanwhile, Secretary Park fishes another scroll from within his sleeve, unrolling it with a flourish and begins reading names off it. Yifan divides his attention between reading the first script and listening to his minister, with Luhan leaning in to read it with him.   
  
It's not until he's done with the first scroll and is greeted with absolute silence from Secretary Park that he realises that the man has finished announcing the honour roll this year, and Yifan blinks a little. He did not catch Yixing's name amongst those mentioned, but he can't bring Yixing up either, because he isn't supposed to know any of the examinees in person. Not only will it invite questions on his impartiality, Luhan will also probably question him regarding Yixing if he does.   
  
"I do not seem to have heard the names clearly, Secretary Park," Yifan therefore says, feeling thankful for once that he has the authority over everyone else. "Could you please repeat them again?"  
  
When Secretary Park does as he was told, though, Yifan is dawned with a saddening realisation. It isn't as though Yifan had missed Yixing's name due to his divided attention, but because Yixing's name is not on it in the first place.   
  
Trying hard to fight down the sickening feeling in his stomach, Yifan thanks his minister in the steadiest voice he can manage, before he asks a guard to put the tray away in his study for later perusal.   
  
"I apologise for speaking out of line–" Luhan suddenly says, after he puts his hand on Yifan's. It's only then that Yifan realises how cold and clammy his hands are from the dread. Damn it. "–but may I be so insolent to suggest that this morning's conference to be postponed to another day? His Majesty does not seem to be in good enough health to preside over the discussion any longer, and I grow worry." Then, when several ministers seem to want to object to that, Luhan speaks up again in a louder, firmer voice. "I believe it is cruelty and treason of the highest order if anyone should insist that His Majesty goes on. As the Emperor's Consort, I am of the opinion that his health be considered the utmost priority, because what is a nation without its Lord?"  
  
Again, Yifan is rendered amazed by how authoritative Luhan can be, when the need arises. It is almost as though Luhan is destined to rule, as though he is born to be Emperor. The way Luhan is regarding the ministers of Yifan's Court with fearsome eyes cements the fact, as though he is challenging for them to overthrow his words, for them to voice out their disrespect for Luhan that is so obviously reflected in the way they looked at Luhan.   
  
Thankfully, Junmyeon steps in just in time to aid in Luhan's cause. "I am of the same opinion as His Highness Consort Lu. His Majesty has been having many sleepless nights of late, trying his level best to do everything he can for the people of this blessed country, and I can bear witness to that. I understand everyone's anxiety in rectifying the crises our country are facing, but I humbly believe that a nation can only prosper if the Emperor is in good health."  
  
There are murmurs of discussion following Junmyeon's voice-up, before the court officials now collectively after the Prime Minister's lead. "We sincerely hope that Your Majesty rests well," they chorus, before leaving the Hall in droves.   
  
It only takes one look from Luhan for Yifan to know that some serious discussion is awaiting for him in private.  
  


 

\--

"I do not understand," Luhan says as evenly as he can as he walks after Yifan into his chambers. They had dismissed all the maids who had tried to follow them, leaving them alone to their talk. "Why do you not voice up if you are feeling under the weather, Yifan? You are the  _Emperor_. You have more than enough rights to issue a decree and postpone the Court proceedings. Are you going to push yourself until you collapse?"

"I am fine, Luhan. You worry too much." Yifan tells him, though he thinks he does not sound too convincing. His voice is tired and hoarse even to his own ears, and his hands are still frigid from the dread. 

He thinks it's a bad sign, when he is still worrying about Yixing more than he does about himself. What would Yixing feel when he reads the notice, about the top three examinees in the country and finds that his name isn't there? It had been his final shot at the Imperial Examinations before his parents want him to take over the family business. He is sure to be devastated, and frankly, Yifan does not think that the scroll he has read at Court is anywhere near Yixing's standard.

Now that Yifan slowly rolls the names of those who have been singled out as the best ten in the country in his mind, though, he realises with a start that they are mostly sons of nobles and those of high social statuses. His hands curl into fists by his side. This corrupted bunch of assholes. 

"I am your Consort, Yifan. Your spouse. It is my duty to worry." Luhan tries again, gently guiding Yifan back to his bed with a hand resting lightly on his hip. "Do you know how scared I am to have felt your hands so cold?"

Yifan forcefully drags himself out of his thoughts about Yixing. He is not being fair to Luhan – has not been fair to Luhan in a long while. Yet he feels angry at himself for not doing more to stop himself from meeting Yixing, even though Zitao had advised him time and again to stop roaming out of palace grounds. And then there was the knowing look Zitao had shot at him while they were still in the Great Hall, after the announcement of the honour roll. He must have noticed the colour draining from Yifan’s face. 

_Had_  Zitao seen this coming all along?

The secret is getting too enormous to hide, especially with his rapidly swelling feelings for Yixing. Yifan feels oddly suffocated for the first time in a very long while – not since the time when his father’s health had been on a steady decline, and he had made sure Yifan was prepared to take over the throne at any given time. 

It isn’t until Luhan presses a warm hand against Yifan’s cheek that he realises his mind had drifted off again. Yifan jumps a little at the sensation, feeling in a complete daze, but his gut wrenches at the deathly worried look on Luhan’s face. 

_I’m sorry_  is all that Yifan tells him. It has gotten to the point where it is impossible for him to express his feelings adequately through words itself, and his apology encompasses many things at the same time – for his constant inattention, for the secrets he has been hiding from Luhan all this while.

Above all, he doesn’t know how to apologise for the fact that he has allowed Yixing to take a part of his heart, when it should have been wholly Luhan’s. 


	11. Chapter 11

Yifan doesn't know what he's expecting to see when he makes the decision to head to Yixing's house, on the day the examination rankings are released to the public. Somehow, somewhere deep inside, Yifan's harbouring sincere hopes that Yixing will not be too disappointed with what he'll find on the announcement board, even if he knows how important the rankings are to Yixing.  
  
It's on a warmer day of Spring, two weeks prior to Luhan's birthday, that Yifan finally escapes from the constricting confines of the Forbidden City after being cooped up within its walls for so long. He's sure the results have already been circulated around the major towns, pinned up on the notice boards outside the magistrate's court for everyone to see. He's also sure that Yixing would be among the few of the first to be there the moment the decree is made, waiting with trepidation and anxiety-wrought hands for the list to be revealed, pacing restlessly wondering how he had done for the Imperial Examinations.  
  
Yifan stops himself short of imagining the crestfallen look on Yixing's face when he finds out that he didn't make the cut.  
  
It probably doesn't even matter, though, for when Yifan makes his presence known at the Zhang household, he's greeted by the exact image he has been trying hard to avoid. Yixing looks more exhausted than ever, the dark circles beneath his eyes a lot more pronounced than the last time Yifan had seen him when he answers the door. It's almost as though Yixing hasn't been sleeping at all, even after the examinations have concluded.  
  
Yifan finds his heartstrings getting tugged involuntarily at the sight, the guilt rushing up to greet him. If only he could have done something to prevent the blatant corruption by his ministers, but sometimes, even the Emperor can find his hands tied behind his back.  
  
"Hello, Yixing. It has been a while," Yifan tries to greet with a smile, but all he can feel is the stiffness that pulls at the corner of his mouth. It's difficult to pretend when he knows what exactly has gone wrong for Yixing to not be on that list, though Yifan can't afford to let his identity be known. Zitao is lingering somewhere close, he knows, but it's still a major risk to speak of it outside the palace grounds, especially when he knows there have been multiple attempts to take his life.  
  
The answering smile Yixing flashes at him is tight and wary, very much unlike his usual bright ones. Somehow, this smile doesn't sit well with Yifan. "Hello to you too, Jiaheng. I hope you have been well."  
  
The corner of Yifan's mouth curves up into a wry smile of its own. "I should be the one asking you that instead." He says, then, after another brief moment's hesitation, Yifan works up the courage to speak about the other subject which has been playing on his mind. "I have heard of the news. I'm sorry to hear you did not make it."  
  
If Yixing was affected greatly by Yifan's statement, he does not let it show. The tight smile still remains unchanged on his face. "Yes–" he starts. "It is such a pity. It was supposed to be my last shot at getting a place amongst the ranks of the government servants, too."  
  
Yifan definitely isn't fooled by the way Yixing is trying to conceal his true feelings, however. Yifan can hear the fine cracks in his words, that slight tremble when he speaks, and the guilt eats at him with a greater magnitude.  
  
"Do you–" Yifan finds his voice after several heartbeats have passed them by. "Do you want to talk about it over a drink?"  
  
Yixing seems to hesitate for a moment – frankly, he does not strike Yifan as someone who would allow himself to go anywhere near liquor, but Yifan expects Yixing to do all the talking while Yifan himself sips on some rice wine on his own – but in the end, he smiles in agreement. It's the sort of smile that Yifan doesn't like, one that breaks his heart from how forced it appears. "Perhaps liquor might do me some good."  
  
  
\--  
  
  
His invitation for Yixing to come along with him for a drink appears to be a grave mistake. Yifan's intuition of Yixing being someone who has never touched liquor in his life turns out to be true, when Yixing's cheeks are coloured bright red after only two small cups of rice wine.  
  
Yifan wonders if he could turn back time, as he watches a very drunk Yixing splayed across the table, his head pillowed by his arms as he mumbles his miseries away. While admittedly adorable, Yifan thinks he will probably incur the wrath of Yixing's parents for ever allowing Yixing near alcoholic substances, if they see him in his current state. They will accuse him of leading their son astray, which probably isn't very far away from the truth.   
  
"I do not get it!" Yixing repeats himself for the umpteenth time that evening. It's a potent indicator of his dissatisfaction with the examination rankings, even if he might be a person who would not question it in the open, should he be sober. "The children born of noble blood only know of their parents' corrupt ways, and will continue doing the same in the future. What makes them eligible for the top ranks in the Imperial Examinations?"  
  
Normally, Yifan would have panicked at the volume Yixing is using to sprout such slanderous statements, because anyone who takes offense would have hollered for Yixing to be thrown in jail. He's only thankful that he had seen this in advance and cleared out the entire tavern, leaving them both as the only guests on the second floor. Yifan has himself strategically seated facing the stairs leading to their floor, so that he can be mindful of workers who attempt to eavesdrop on their conversation. Zitao, meanwhile, is stationed at the balcony, keeping watch for any ambushes should they come.  
  
But Yifan finds it ironic that he should agree with Yixing. He had met the top-ranked scholars from the Imperial Examinations before the results have even been released to the nation, and had a closed-door session with them in order to get to know them better. He does not think they are capable of working effectively for the government, sound as their arguments might have been on paper. Arrogance and a sense of entitlement are the only words Yifan seem to be able to associate with them, and it frustrates Yifan to no ends that such selfish people should be the ones who obtain the right to be government officials, instead of those who are determined to serve the empire with sincere hearts – people like Yixing.  
  
Above all, Yifan is angry with himself for being unable to override the results, despite being the Emperor of his own nation. It's both ridiculous and laughable. He needs to find a way to institute balance in his government, and at the same time, restore absolute power to himself. Must he act in a callous manner before his ministers remember their places and their pledge of servitude to him?  
  
"I empathise." Yifan concurs after a brief silence. "I believe only the most loyal should involve themselves in the governance of a nation, not those who put their own benefits before the welfare of the people. We should live to serve, not to rule over them."  
  
Yixing, with his cheeks as bright as tomatoes from the intoxication, laughs in a drunken manner at his words. "You are a wise man, Jiaheng. Perhaps if you were to be the top scholar of the examinations this year, I would not have minded as much. You are different from the other nobles. It does not take our friendship for me to see that."  
  
The corner of Yifan's lips curl upwards wryly at Yixing's comment. If only he knew of Yifan's status as the ruler of their nation. He has half the mind to reveal his identity to Yixing, but Zitao will definitely not approve of it, despite the fact that Yixing is completely wasted and probably will not remember anything he's said or heard from tonight. But an idea suddenly strikes Yifan, and he chews on his bottom lip a little as he considers if he should proceed with it. "If you were given a chance to be a government official, no matter if it's through a legitimate path or not, will you grab it?" He asks, and from the corner of his eyes, he takes notice of Zitao looking at him in alarm. He pays no heed to his Royal Guard, however.  
  
"Unless if I have to kill someone for it–" Yixing hiccups and gesticulates randomly. "–I will jump at the chance. It is everything I have ever hoped–"  
  
Yifan patiently waits for Yixing to finish his sentence, but when he doesn't, he shakes Yixing gently to catch his attention. It's only then that he realises Yixing has slipped off into a deep slumber, the amount of alcohol invading his bloodstream too much for Yixing's body to take.  
  
Zitao completely disregards his order to stand guard at the balcony, and slips into the room with disapproval written all over his expressions. "I hope you are not trying to do what I think you are trying to do, Your Majesty." He says, and Yifan tries not to let his panic show. Zitao is a smart one; he probably knows what Yifan has in mind when he had offered the question to Yixing. "It will cause undue hurt to a lot of people. The end point of your decision might not be the same as what you have imagined."  
  
Yifan rises from his seat gracefully and turns his back towards Zitao, swiftly parrying the subject. "I do not understand what you are trying to say, Zitao. Now are you going to help me get Yixing home, or are you just going to stand there and let me do it on my own?"  
  
There's a soft grumble, but Zitao immediately scoops the unconscious Yixing into his arms, allowing Yifan to lead the way before Zitao trails after his lord. He is glad that he can always cash in on Zitao's loyalty, and his extreme reluctance in letting Yifan do anything remotely taxing if he can help it. It's one of the factors that makes Yifan favour Zitao so much, even if he has several more experienced Royal Guards at his every beck and call.  
  
Yifan is going to have to put Zitao off from asking for as long as he can tonight. No one else needs to know about his plans.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
The first thing Yixing swears when he wakes up the next morning, is to never let himself go anywhere near alcoholic substances ever again. He had never quite believed in his father's words, that liquor will crush even the most noble of people, but now he does, and he hopes he had actually listened to his father's advice.  
  
The resultant splitting headache and the intense nausea are definitely things he doesn't ever want to experience another time in his life, as he groggily drags himself out of bed to wash up. The afternoon sun is almost shining directly upon Chang'an by now; his parents would definitely frown at him for having waken up this late in the day. It simply isn't the conduct of a esteemed scholar, not that he has much of a right to don that title any longer.  
  
It takes another long moment before Yixing pauses in his steps, his already-hurting head throbbing from the confusion of wondering how exactly he had gotten home. All Yixing remembers is the invitation Jiaheng had extended to him, and of Yixing taking his first sip of liquor, but everything else after that remains a haze to him.  
  
Yixing rightfully pales at the realisation. He desperately hopes he hadn't embarrassed himself before Jiaheng, and ruined Jiaheng's impression of him. Yixing would never let himself live it down if he did.  
  
Right when he has washed his face and dispelled most of his grogginess, Yixing is startled by a succession of frantic knocks on his door. He wastes no time in dressing himself before opening the door, only to be greeted by his mother's bewildered face. Yixing blinks. "Mother, what is the matter?"  
  
His mother immediately makes a grab for Yixing's arm, dragging him along with her before she obliges him with an answer. Yixing, albeit suffering from the worst headache he's ever had, follows docilely after her. It's almost rare that his mother should act in such a manner, and he wonders just what sort of emergency has triggered her abnormal behaviour.  
  
"There is a messenger–" she starts, panting a little from the exertion. "–from the palace. He brings with him a proclamation from the Emperor."  
  
Yixing's heart stops at her words. He must still be dreaming. There isn't a legitimate reason why a palace messenger should come to their humble abode, when it's clear as daylight that he had failed in his bid to get into the top-ranked scholars for this year. Unless–  
  
Oh,  _damn_. He didn't spout some highly disrespectful comments about the government and the Emperor before Yifan while he had been drunk, did he? It would translate into treason of the highest order, and as such warrants his entire family to be beheaded for it.  
  
Yixing truly starts to panic when they walk into the grand hall, only to find several formally-dressed messengers standing in wait. His father has already knelt on the floor as a sign of respect, because no matter how lowly the ranks of these messengers, normal citizens are still below them. A particularly serious-looking man steps forward with a golden-threaded scroll when Yixing and his mother joins his father on the floor, and clears his throat in preparation to read the decree written upon it.  
  
The dread fills Yixing as the man slowly unrolls the scroll, cold sweat wetting his palms. This is not the way he had imagined he would die, especially not when his parents are involved. He must be the most unfilial child in the whole of Chang'an, for committing something so treacherous even if he might not have realised it.  
  
"Which of you might be Zhang Yixing?" The messenger asks in a loud voice, even if it isn't necessary with how small Yixing's home is. Yixing jumps a little from shock before pressing his body closer to the floor.  
  
"It is I, sir." He replies, voice a little shaky for him to pass off as innocent, whatever his crime might be. Yixing thinks it's ironic, that his venting should lead to his eventual demise, even when his yearns wholeheartedly to serve the government and make his nation a better place to live in – not that the Emperor would ever listen to his confession. Who is Zhang Yixing to the nation, but a mere commoner who has no right to voice his thoughts directly to the ruler of their nation?   
  
The messenger doesn't take his eyes completely off Yixing, only slanting his gaze to the side towards the scroll in his hands as he begins to read its contents aloud. "By decree of the ruler of our blessed nation, His Majesty Emperor Wu Yifan, He who goes by the name of Zhang Yixing will become his legally-wedded spouse in a months' time. Before the date of their matrimony, Zhang Yixing is required to gather his most prized possessions immediately and enter the palace to receive necessary training in moulding him to be a suitable candidate to rule by His Majesty's side. Any objections to this decree shall only be met with death."   
  
Shaken and confused, Yixing still thankfully manages to remember to receive the scroll from the messenger, as a sign that he accepts the Emperor's proclamation. He recites the usual words of prayers for the Emperor's longevity in a stiff manner, his mind still spinning from what the Emperor's decree might have meant.   
  
Why should  _he_ , of all people, be chosen to be another of the Emperor's spouse, when he has never met the man himself?


	12. Chapter 12

"What is the meaning of this?!"  
  
Yifan sighs internally at the question, but he holds his chin high, refusing to show any signs of remorse or guilt. His silence seems to grate on his mother's nerves greatly, however, for she slams her hand against the table in a fit of rage.  
  
"Emperor Wu! I am talking to you! It would serve you well to remember that even if you are the Emperor, you are first and foremost my  _son_." She seethes, and Yifan nearly rolls his eyes at her. He can't even recall the very last time she had acted like a mother to him, like she's supposed to. He has been calling her the Empress – and now, the Empress Dowager – ever since he turned seven and his grooming into a ruler for their nation had begun. His mother evidently can't bring herself to address him by his birth name, either. Ironic, considering the fact that she had a hand in picking his name with his father.  
  
He hates that the palace puts such a great distance between members of the same family, when they should be the ones closest to him. The invisible divide between him and his mother feels almost suffocating.  
  
Just as his mother opens her mouth to yell at him again, Yifan links his hands behind his back and holds her gaze down. He hopes she can see how serious he is with his decision, that he isn't backing down with one mere threat or two. Yifan is an adult. This is not child's play. He doesn't intend on making it so, either. "Empress Dowager, things are  _exactly_  as they are in my proclamation. I do not see what could possibly be the source of confusion."  
  
"Do not test my patience, Emperor." His mother hisses through clenched teeth. Yifan thinks it's laughable, how a person who used to be so caring could turn into who she is today. The ascension of his father to the throne has changed his mother so much – she has become so guarded, distrustful, always on the edge, looking for possible conspiracies against the royal family. He decides it will be a complete waste of his effort to persuade his mother to see things his way. Yifan has long since given up, anyway.  
  
"One will only be bothered by a particular situation, if they so choose to allow themselves to be disturbed by it." Yifan says calmly, unblinkingly. He could care less if their exchange is being watched by his mother's servants. He is the Emperor now; it would be kind of his mother if she'd stop second-guessing his decisions, even if they might seem questionable in the beginning. It doesn't bode well for his credibility, when his mother refuses to give him free reign to rule. Yifan wishes she could understand that he isn't a puppet – not hers, and not anyone else's. He is his own being, even though he's dressed in the robes of the Emperor of China.  
  
For one moment, she seemed as though she's about to blow up at him, but she takes a look at their surroundings and thinks better of it, straightening herself on the floor cushion and assuming her elegant sitting posture once again. The next smile she flashes at him holds a dangerous edge, something which she knows only Yifan can sense. He shifts a little uncomfortably in his position. His mother must be up to something.  
  
Right at that particular moment, the guards outside the Empress Dowager's study announces the arrival of the Emperor's Consort, and Yifan pales when he realises what she has up her sleeves.  
  
When Yifan had tasked a messenger to break the news to Yixing and his family, of his wishes for Yixing to be another one of his spouse, he had wanted Yixing to be the first to know. Thereafter, Yifan's sure the news would spread like wildfire amongst the common folk, because the appearance of a palace messenger in their locality is a great cause for discussion. But along with his decision, Yifan had also taken into account Luhan's habits. Luhan, who doesn't really like being a part of the nation's governing affairs unless explicitly requested by Yifan to provide feedback, tends not to hear any form of political news and gossip that goes about on the palace grounds by choice, his ability at tuning out such things having been perfected over the years he's been married to Yifan.  
  
Yifan had planned on telling Luhan in private, away from the prying ears of others, of his plans of having Yixing married to him so that Yixing can take part in the governance of the nation as he has always wished to do. It's the only way Yifan can think of to grant Yixing's wish, even if he knows Yixing probably doesn't hold the same amount of affection for Yifan as Yifan does for him. It's impossible for Yifan to appoint another government official out of the blue, with no proper selection criteria in place. Even if Yifan knows what Yixing is capable of doing, the others will definitely question his calibre, and as such will call for his resignation and removal from the government. Not Luhan. Luhan knows what it's like to have his hands tied behind his back, to have his abilities questioned time and again even though he has proved everyone wrong on countless occasions.  
  
The palace is an unforgiving place.  
  
But when his own mother is doing this, calling Luhan to her study to discuss the matter of Yifan's new marriage, she is essentially ruining everything Yifan has planned thus far. Yifan's mother is one of those who would actively object to Yifan's desire to let Yixing be a government official, and there is no way Yifan would let her know of his plans in front of everyone else. He can only hope Luhan will accept his explanation, later.  
  
There is only curiosity and confusion in Luhan's eyes when he walks past Yifan and catches his gaze, but they're not allowed to exchange a private word at all, not when the Empress Dowager is eyeing him expectantly. Yifan's heart thumps hard against his chest. Luhan will be so broken to hear this coming from Yifan's mother before he does from Yifan.  
  
"I bid thee well, Empress Dowager." Luhan greets with the politeness which has been drilled into him, bowing slightly at her before straightening himself. "What might the occasion be, for you to have summoned me here?"  
  
"I have something to discuss with you. About Yifan's marriage." The Empress Dowager's lips curl into a dangerous, scheming smile when she looks up at Yifan. It's sickening, how his own mother is determined to ruin his life for him.  
  
Luhan cocks his head to the side, unsure what the Empress Dowager is trying to say. "Marriage? I am afraid I do not quite understand what this is about."  
  
The Empress Dowager's eyebrows rise in mock confusion. Yifan hopes she would just shut her mouth. "Oh? Have you not heard? The Emperor has just made a decree, of taking another commoner as his spouse." Her words are a slow drawl, the mocking layered deep beneath. She is well aware of what Yifan had promised Luhan when he'd asked for his hand in marriage. "Another  _man_."  
  
"Mother–" Yifan raises his voice in warning, but before he can say anything else, Luhan's gaze had already whipped around towards him.  
  
Yifan hates that he can see the betrayal in Luhan's eyes.  
  
"What is the meaning of this, Your Majesty?" Luhan asks, his voice trembling a little in an effort to keep his poise intact. It will not do for someone of his standing to break down before the servants; Luhan has learned well. Yifan just isn't sure if it's a good thing. "Why have I never heard of it?"  
  
"I have my reasons, Luhan." Yifan tries to plead with him in a level enough voice, hoping that his love would understand, and keep the other questions for when they are alone.  
  
"What of it?" Luhan presses, his breathing growing a little more rapid now, and he's furiously trying to keep the tears out of his eyes.  
  
Yifan opens his mouth for a moment, about to let his secret be known to the world, but he catches himself in time and shuts it again. In the end, he looks away from Luhan's accusatory gaze, the distrust too much for Yifan to bear, and he sighs. "I cannot tell you that, my Consort. Not now."  
  
 _I trusted you_  is all that Yifan can gather from the way Luhan is glaring at him, and he thinks, things shouldn't have turned out this way.  
  
"I am not opposed to this arrangement–" His mother decides to announce just then, causing both Yifan and Luhan's attentions to be focused on her once again. Of course she wouldn't. Yifan knows that his mother harbours ill feelings for Luhan, having snatched her son's heart away from her and turned him into someone who is more interested in men than someone of the opposite gender. She has always resented Luhan, despite the amicable façade she puts on when interacting with Luhan before everyone else, for depriving her of the grandchildren – and the successor to Yifan's throne in the future. "–but I have one condition."  
  
His mother shifts her gaze from Luhan to Yifan. He feels sick within, when he can feel how his mother must be enjoying the current situation. Luhan's back is stiff, the tension so thick in the air that Yifan almost suffocates from it.  
  
When Yifan merely stays silent, the Empress Dowager takes it as her cue to continue. The smile pulling at the corner of her rouge-painted lips grows wider. "I will turn a blind eye on your choice of spouses, but you  _must_  bed one concubine of my choice, and you  _must_  obtain an heir to the Dragon Throne within the year. Otherwise..." she pauses a little, glee dancing in her eyes when she sees how pale Luhan has become. "I will have your spouses thrown into exile."  
  
It's the last straw for Luhan, whose hand trembles as he bows at the Empress Dowager and asks for permission to leave. Yifan swallows hard when Luhan storms past him without giving him another look, the aura radiating off his love icy and resentful. Yifan doesn't bother with his manners, and immediately takes off after Luhan.  
  
He  _needs_  Luhan to understand.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
Luhan remembers that day all too clearly, the day when Yifan had been crowned as the Emperor of China.  
  
“If I have to take someone as my life companion–” he had said with such authority that even Luhan had to cower at his voice. “–I want someone who makes me happy, and can keep an intelligent conversation with me, not someone who bends at every beck and call of mine. I have the palace servants to do that.” There had been a pause as Yifan took in the faces of every government official present in the Great Hall, before turning to the Empress Dowager with nothing but determination on his face. “Thus, my first decree as Emperor, is to have Luhan as my Consort.”  
  
Luhan could vividly recall how his body had turned cold from the sudden announcement, not from horror, but from disbelief. He could not believe that Yifan would stay true to his promises, made all those nights ago when they were both panting and sweating beneath his sheets, with Luhan’s nails digging angry red marks into Yifan’s back as Yifan pushed into him,  _“I will not keep you in the dark, Luhan. You are all that I have, all that I need. I will not keep you away from the eyes of others. I will find a way to give you a proper status.”_  
  
When the initial haze of lust had faded, Luhan had thought that it was nothing more than empty words uttered by the then-Crown Prince to placate him, to convince him that their actions were justified. But standing in that hall with the din of outraged murmurs of the government officials surrounding him and all the confused glances aimed at him, there was nothing Luhan could do but to hold Yifan’s determined gaze with tears in his eyes.  
  
Yifan’s gaze had told him one thing: _I love you, and by keeping my promise, I am proving my love for you._ No other words were needed to convince Luhan that.  
  
Right now, Luhan isn’t too sure about that anymore. He can feel his heart slowly cracking in his chest, the feeling suffocating him from within, and his vision is gradually blurring away from the tears that are welling up in his eyes. He wishes Yifan hadn't followed after him when he had left the Empress Dowager's study, and now he can't bring himself to turn the Emperor away.  
  
“Do you remember what you have told me all those years ago?” Luhan finally says when he deems his emotions stable enough. The dull ache in his chest is still there, growing stronger by the second as he looks at Yifan’s back. Yifan hasn’t held his gaze since his mother had broken the news to Luhan. Is it from guilt? From shame?  _Why won’t you look me in the eye?_  
  
“I have told you a lot of things, Han.” Yifan says quietly. Luhan’s heart wrenches again at the term of endearment, and this time he has to press a hand against his chest to stop the pain. He wants to scream, but his dignity would not let him do it.  
  
“I was supposed to be the only exception to the rule, was I not?” Luhan challenges, holding his head high even if all he wants to do is to curl into himself and scream his frustrations into his fist. “What is the meaning of this? Of you marrying another man? I have not done anything out of line, have I? I have been nothing short of the loyal spouse, have I not?” He presses. "Now not only do I have to share you with another man, but another  _woman_  as well! Is this what you want? To sleep around with more people because you have grown tired of me?"  
  
Yifan stiffens, but finally turns around to regard Luhan then, and Luhan staggers backwards from the intensity of his gaze, almost as though Yifan is forcing Luhan to kneel before him and accept his words as they are. Yifan  _never_  asks Luhan to kneel. “I am the Emperor, and I expect you to not question my decisions!” He bristles, and Luhan flinches again at his words, feeling as though Yifan is physically drawing a dagger down the length of his arms, drawing blood. “Am I understood, Consort Lu?”  
  
Luhan forces himself to dip his head in acquiescence at the use of his title – the very first time Yifan has used it on him in private. It is clear that their conversation is well over. “Yes, Your Majesty. This humble servant wishes you a good night.” The stiffness of his words is clear even to his own ears, and the way Yifan inhales sharply is enough indication that he has angered the Emperor.  
  
He can hear the way Yifan’s robes flutter behind him as he walks out of Luhan’s chambers in quick steps, not even bothering to wish him a ‘good night’, and Luhan can taste the fear on his tongue – fear that he is going to lose Yifan this time. He has lived with Yifan for so long, that he can’t ever imagine living without him by his side. Above all, he is  _terrified_ of the day when Yifan no longer favours him, and he does not want to be left discarded by the side to fend for himself in the darkness that seems to creep up on him from every corner of the palace. It is a cold place when you have no one else you can trust, and when you lose the only person who will stand by your side through it all.  
  
With a firm voice, he dismisses the servants – servants who have, no doubt, witnessed their entire exchange and will spread stories about it within the hour – and asks not to be bothered for the rest of the night. Only when he’s truly alone in his chambers that feels all too spacious and much too cold that Luhan finally sinks to his knees, his robes pooling inelegantly around him on the ground.  
  
And for the first time since he has met Yifan, Luhan cries, fat drops of tears smearing the thin layer of powder on his face and staining his robes in blossoming patterns of white.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
Yifan's fist is tightly clenched by his side as he makes his way back to his private chambers, sans Luhan. It's the first time in a very long while that Luhan hasn't spent the night with him, and Yifan feels entirely too empty within.  
  
Above all, Yifan is angry with himself, for being unable to bring himself to tell Luhan the truth when he had the chance, and for letting his frustrations cloud his mind because Luhan doesn't seem to trust him enough to agree with his decision.  
  
His mind too is reeling from the condition his mother had set, if he should marry Yixing. While Yifan does have feelings for Yixing to a certain extent, Yifan has never thought of sleeping with Yixing – not so soon, at the very least – because a large part of his heart still belongs to Luhan. Yet his cowardice has led him to drive Luhan further away from him. Yifan can't bear to think of the times when he must sleep with a woman in order to conceive the heir to his throne; it has been such a long while, and Yifan doesn't think he has the same desire for a woman's body as he had in the past.   
  
The guards jump in surprise when Yifan pauses in his steps and slams his fist against the pillar in a fit of rage, but he can't care less. The throbbing pain serves as a temporary distraction from the mess in his mind, and he quite frankly needs this right now. 


	13. Chapter 13

The two-day limit provided for him to gather his possessions passes by all too quickly for Yixing's liking, and when he wakes up on the third morning, there's a sense of extreme dread that looms over him – dread that he has to leave his aged parents' side and walk into the unknown all by himself, dread that he doesn't know what to expect when he starts living in the palace. It's a place which falls back heavily upon decorum, he's sure, and Yixing is suddenly worried that his crudeness as a commoner might be jarring against the politeness of even the lowliest of servants.  
  
Standing here at the entrance to his room, looking back at everything he has come to love and be comfortable with, Yixing harbours the silly notion of running away from Chang'an with his parents, in order for him to continue caring for them in peace like he's supposed to, instead of being whisked away to the Forbidden City to live a life he did not ask for. But the logical part of his mind reminds him that by doing so, he's essentially giving himself and his parents a death sentence, and Yixing quickly aborts the thought before it becomes too tempting for him to abandon.  
  
The highly intrusive presence in the form of a palace guard who clears his throat makes Yixing jump a little just then. Yixing doesn't feel comfortable with a stranger peering into his private space, so he quickly shuts the door to his room and turns around to meet his ultimate fate. It's rather laughable, when he picks up the sole box of possessions he's managed to pack – his prized possessions consists of his writing tools and several books, along with an amulet given to him by his parents before he sat for his first Imperial Examination, which is currently tucked behind the folds of his clothes on his back. There isn't a need to bring his other clothing items along, he's been told from the very beginning, for they will not have a place in the sanctity of the palace grounds. Even then, Yixing is provided with a robe made of expensive silk for his trip to the Forbidden City, which he is now wearing. It's all too strange to him; he isn't used to being clothed in luxury, and Yixing doesn't think he'll ever get used to it, either. Living in a plain and simple manner has been ingrained into his very being, and yet he's being robbed of that very thing he's already accustomed to.  
  
"Consort Zhang, we must go. The Royal Carriage awaits you." The palace guard says when he notices that Yixing's feet are too heavy to move, Yixing's eyes still glancing longingly at the closed doors of his bedroom and the space beyond them. It takes Yixing a while longer before he realises it's supposed to be his  _name_  now, and he turns around and flashes an apologetic smile at the person who's been left waiting.  
  
"My apologies; I was distracted." Yixing inclines his head a little, though he quickly realises that he's not supposed to do that anymore when the guard starts and bows even lower at him.  
  
"Consort Zhang, please, you do not have the need to apologise. It is my fault for speaking out of line." The other man hurriedly tells him, his voice shaking a little. Yixing wonders if the guard will be punished if the Emperor finds out, and he fervently hopes he hadn't gotten the poor man into trouble. He won't be able to live it down if he did.  
  
Despite the heaviness in his heart, Yixing chuckles a little. "Straighten yourself." He tells the guard, though something strikes him as odd. He's not the type of person to order someone else around; it's going to be a problem when he gets into the palace, where he's sure he won't be allowed to lift a finger to do anything on his own. Yixing barely holds back a groan at the thought. "There isn't a need to be formal with me."  
  
The guard becomes even paler than Yixing had thought it possible at his words. "But that is a grave sin, Your Highness!" He exclaims, and Yixing fights back a wince at the term. He is not worthy of such a title – never was, never will.  
  
Then again, Yixing knows better than to insist otherwise. From the very moment the Emperor had made the decree that Yixing is to be a part of his hougong, he's sentenced to a life of being served, a life that binds him to the many rules and customs Yixing has ever only read in books. The mere thought of it suffocates him, and Yixing swallows the bile which threatens to rise up the column of his throat.  
  
At that particular moment, Yixing's parents walk into the back garden together. His father has an arm thrown around his mother's shoulders, as though he's the sole reason why she's managing to keep herself standing right now. Yixing hates that he notices the dried tear tracks on his mother's face; she has evidently been crying about his leaving, like she has been doing for the past few nights since the decree had come. It breaks his heart to know that he's the cause of her sadness, and he hates himself even more when he thinks about how powerless he is in the face of the higher authority.  
  
Yixing sucks in a deep breath and approaches his parents when they come to a stop. It's obvious that they can't bring themselves to take another step forward, as though having the belief that they'll drive him further away if he did, and Yixing just  _knows_  he has to be strong for their sake. They have spent the most precious part of their years in bringing him up to the person he is now; Yixing is determined to show the rest of the world that commoners can be respectful, too. He puts up a brave front and holds his mother's wrinkled hands in his, smiling brightly at them as though he isn't affected by the reality that he has to leave.  
  
"Father, Mother," he greets them in turn, hoping his voice doesn't waver. It's only going to make things harder for all of them. "Worry not about me. I will be a son you can be proud of."  
  
When his father reaches for his shoulder and squeezes him hard, it takes all the willpower Yixing has to not break down. "We have always been proud of you, Yixing, and that is a fact that will never change."  
  
Yixing can feel the tears well up in his eyes at the comment, but still he inhales deeply and pushes them back. It's unsightly for a man to cry before a stranger, even when the pent-up feelings in his chest is threatening to break free. It _hurts_. Again he finds himself smiling, though this time, Yixing can feel the corners of his mouth quivering from the effort. "Please, take good care of yourselves. I apologise for being unfilial, and that I cannot be here to look after you when it is supposed to be my responsibility to do so."  
  
His mother shakes her head, and he knows she's trying to be brave, too, when the time for him to leave draws closer. "Our only wish is for you to live well. Nothing else matters."  
  
Yixing isn't given the opportunity to say anything more, when the angry-looking messenger storms into the backyard and calls out for Yixing. "Consort Zhang, we simply must not delay our trip any further. The sun is fast setting, and it will not do for you to travel into the Forbidden City while being shrouded in darkness. It is not safe. Please, follow me, _now_."  
  
There's a tone of finality in his words that Yixing can't go against, and his heart is heavy as he takes his first step towards the main entrance of their home – probably the last few in this lifetime of his, because life, as he knows it, can be extremely unpredictable. The palace guard scrambles to carry his chest of belongings, leaving Yixing to trail after him. He can't stop himself from throwing longing gazes over his shoulders at his parents who remained standing in the middle of the courtyard, watching after him wordlessly as he disappears through the doors of the place he's called home for all his life.  
  
As Yixing steps out of his home and climbs into the carriage which will bring him to the Imperial Palace, he slowly sheds his identity as the commoner Zhang Yixing, and assumes the one as Consort Zhang against his will.  
  
No one shall know of the silent tears he's cried in the confines of the carriage, or the profound loneliness that gradually consumes him as they draw further away from his life.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
"Is this all worth it?"  
  
Yifan, who's in the midst of adjusting his robes, heaves a sigh and turns around with his eyes closed. They don't remain shut for long, though, when he feels the weight of Junmyeon's expectant gaze on him and reopens them, knowing he's going to have to face this talk sooner or later. Yifan finds it ironic that Junmyeon should be the only one who knows what his plans are, when there's someone else who's supposed to be closer to him. Unfortunately, Yifan hasn't seen this other person since the day his mother had summoned the both of them to her study and ruined everything Yifan has been planning for.  
  
"What else am I supposed to do?" Yifan asks. He can hear the weariness in his voice, and is sure Junmyeon can too, when his Royal Advisor frowns a little at him. "You know how the ministers in my Court are."  
  
Junmyeon nods a little, but it doesn't wipe the frown from his face. "Still, you could have told Luhan everything. Why did you not?"  
  
Yifan can feel his irritation rising, but quickly suppresses it before he drives his only friend away, too. The fact that Luhan is avoiding him is killing him enough, but he can't go back on his words. Not now. "It is not as simple as it seems, Junmyeon. I had no choice."  
  
"And you believe it is worth getting Luhan hurt in the process? You might end up losing him if you are not careful, Yifan." Junmyeon advices, assuming the role of Yifan's good friend instead of his advisor. He knows Junmyeon has his and Luhan's best interests in mind. Junmyeon has witnessed all the hardships Yifan and Luhan have gone through to be together, after all, and they are both friends who are dear to him.  
  
Yifan bites on his lips, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a wry smile. "I might have already lost him, unfortunately," he says gingerly, referring to the glaring fact that Luhan has been making himself scarce as of late. It has made Yifan feel that he doesn't know Luhan anymore, when he can't seem to find the love of his life anywhere. It's only then that Yifan realises with a start how vast his palace actually is, and that he can't even recognise most of it.  
  
Junmyeon sighs and pats Yifan on his shoulder. "It is not too late for you to make amends, Yifan. I am convinced Luhan will forgive you, if only you told him the truth."  
  
"Do you think he will believe in my words?" Yifan wonders aloud. "He will probably think that I am merely cooking up excuses to get him back into my life."  
  
"You underestimate him." Junmyeon points out. "He is not someone so petty."  
  
Yifan barely stops himself from scoffing. "And you do not know how the mind works for someone who is in love." He tells Junmyeon mildly. "Even the strongest foundation of trust can crumble in an instant."  
  
"Only if you so choose to allow it to crumble," Junmyeon concurs, though he quickly puts a distance between himself and Yifan when a messenger comes in to inform that his escorts are here.  
  
Yifan squares his shoulders and steps back into his mold as the Emperor of China, assuming a royal and untouchable air before his subjects, even as the sadness envelops him. He's supposed to meet Yixing in three hours' time, yet the Empress Dowager insists that he meets the woman she's picked out for him to bear the heir of the throne with. He wishes he could be rid of these red robes, but he can't bear the thought of having Luhan being sent to live in exile if he should go against his mother's terms for him to have Yixing as his second Consort.  
  
For the first time in years, Yifan finds himself horribly trapped in a corner, though he supposes it's no one's fault but his own.  
  
"I bid thee well, Your Majesty–" Junmyeon speaks up as Yifan takes his first steps towards the life he doesn't want to live, "–and I sincerely hope you know what you are doing."   
  
He doesn't say it, but Yifan hopes so, too.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Luhan chews on his lips hard until he draws blood, his knuckles going white as he peers through the crevices in the window to the Royal Chambers, watching as the love of his life bends forward and presses his lips against the neck of a woman, his hands moving upwards to rid her of her robes, leaving the milky expanse of her skin exposed for Yifan to take and mark.   
  
He's supposed to be the only one in Yifan's arms, not her, not anyone else, yet he doesn't know why he's doing to himself, torturing himself with the scene of Yifan bedding someone else who isn't him.   
  
It's the last straw for him when Yifan brings Song Qian – the concubine the Empress Dowager has picked out for Yifan to bear the heir of the Dragon Throne with – to bed and fucks into her, his lips tracing the mounds of her breasts passionately. Luhan squeezes his eyes shut and slides to the ground, leaning against the wall with his hands over his ears to block out the sinful sounds of pleasure they're making. He wants to scream to drown them out, but he can't let them know he's here, for it will only bear witness to the intense sense of jealousy he's not supposed to have.   
  
Luhan hates the sort of person he's become, _loathes_  it.   
  
"Master," a gentle voice speaks up next to him just then, and Luhan looks up through his tears at Kai who's kneeling next to him, the concern reflected in his usually cold eyes. "This is not the place for you to be. Come, let me take you back to your chambers."   
  
Hesitation lingers in him for a moment, but Luhan hurriedly takes Kai's hand and allows Kai to guide him away from the place when another moan escapes Yifan's lips just then. He's about to throw up from the thought that Yifan's enjoying himself, despite having told Luhan that he doesn't want to bed another woman in this lifetime of his.   
  
He really doesn't know why he's doing this to himself. 


	14. Chapter 14

Yifan has his hands linked behind his back as he looks out of the windows of the Royal Chambers, his robes tied loosely around him. There's a pensive look on his face as he thinks about the recent turn of events in his life, and Yifan can't help but wonder if he's made a mistake somewhere. It's a huge mess, and Yifan knows that even without anyone else telling him so. He can see it in the way Junmyeon looks at him, with a mixture of sympathy and helplessness.   
  
He inhales deeply and shuts his eyes when he remembers what had just happened in this room an hour ago. Song Qian is by no means difficult to look at – Yifan would consider her beautiful, even – but despite having slept with her, Yifan is thankful he doesn't feel anything else for her, except for a huge sense of responsibility in getting her pregnant. It is his mother's decree, and neither of them can escape it, no matter how much they intend to do so. At least Song Qian understands Yifan's predicament, and does not resent Yifan for his obvious predilection for people of the same gender.   
  
The sad smile as she had leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Yifan's mouth before she had left, though, tells Yifan that he has broken yet another heart. He doesn't allow himself to dwell upon it. Things would be less complicated if he doesn't grow too attached.  
  
Being callous is a necessity these days, it seems.   
  
Above all, after he'd slept with Song Qian, Yifan is sure that he doesn't enjoy having sex with anyone else but Luhan. At the end of the day, Luhan is still the only person Yifan loves; Yixing doesn't come quite close. Not yet. He wishes he has the courage to talk about his intentions in making Yixing his spouse to Luhan – but today is not the day. Luhan would definitely have heard about the arrangement with Song Qian, and would make it a point to avoid Yifan at all costs today. Yifan knows Luhan well enough to be able to guess, that Luhan will be extremely upset with him, if the way he'd talked to Yifan the other night was anything to go by.  
  
Yifan whips around in surprise when a servant walks in and calls for his attention just then, having been distracted by his thoughts for so long, though he soon finds his pulse racing when he's told that Yixing has finally arrived at the Forbidden City.  
  
Yifan immediately changes out of his red robes – ones which signified lust and is supposed to drive his passion forth – and into his usual embroidered, gold ones after waving the messenger off, then prepares himself for the worst, his stomach roiling uncomfortably as he conjures image after image of what might happen during his meeting with Yixing.   
  
The time of reckoning has come.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
There's something about being in a room that's half the size of his old home, decorated in luxurious draperies and tapestries which he doesn't even dare lay a finger upon, for fear of tainting their beauty. To others, they might be unable to contain their excitement and make themselves comfortable at once, because living a luxurious life is something _everyone_  wanted during these trying times of famine and natural disasters.  
  
But not Yixing. All he could think about is how he seems so completely out of place, and his back is stiff as he sits on the floor cushion, hands folded neatly in his lap as he awaited for the Emperor's arrival. He had been left in the room by his escort the moment he had arrived at the Forbidden City, citing that the Emperor will meet him shortly. Yixing isn't even given the opportunity to as much as look out the window of his carriage to take in the view which leads to the palace, let alone for him to actually see what the palace is like.   
  
It is rather dull, to have travelled in such a manner, though Yixing supposes he can't complain about it.  _It is for your safety, Consort Zhang,_  the messenger who had been sent to escort Yixing to the palace had told him when he'd asked. _The less people who knows of your face, the better. The royal family prides itself in boasting a mysterious air about their presence, in order to avoid assassination attempts when they intend to assimilate amongst the commoners._  
  
Except, Yixing thinks exasperatedly, that his face is already known throughout the city, if not the entire nation, when the news had first broken out. It is never easy, to be a commoner who suddenly finds himself converted into royalty. Pretentious, yes, but it isn't as though Yixing can do anything about it. He isn't even given the choice to object, and even if he is, it will end up in death.   
  
"Stand down, and please, leave us to ourselves," a voice suddenly calls out, and Yixing straightens himself impossibly further, a sense of familiarity reaching out for him. He can't, for the life of him, figure out just  _why_  the voice sounds suspiciously like someone he knows, but in the end, he settles for the possibility that he's just starting to get homesick.   
  
His eyes do widen, however, when Jiaheng appears around the corner, dressed in a set of clothes which are a lot more elaborate than the ones Yixing is used to seeing him in. He frowns a little when he catches sight of the embroidered dragon on his robes. Weren't dragons supposed to be a symbol for–  
  
"Hello, Yixing. It has been a while since I last saw you." Jiaheng speaks up then, inclining his head slightly. The way he's smiling at Yixing is tight-lipped, wry, tentative. Nothing like the usual smiles Yixing always sees on Jiaheng's face. Yixing shifts uncomfortably in his position.  
  
Yixing doesn't get up from the floor cushion; he doesn't trust himself nearly enough to do so. "What are you doing here, Jiaheng? I was not aware that nobles are able to enter the palace grounds as they please." He asks, hoping he doesn't sound as stiff as he feels. There's an oppressive aura about the palace that Yixing doesn't like.   
  
"I think–" Jiaheng says with a sigh, his expressions turning apologetic as he comes to sit across Yixing on the other cushion, his mannerisms a lot more proper than Yixing remembers it to be. He's carrying himself in a different air, one that makes Yixing feel as though Jiaheng will forever be out of his reach, instead of the amiable person he has come to know and is comfortable with. Above all, Jiaheng looks  _at home_ , no matter how Yixing tries to remind himself that Jiaheng is a mere noble, and not – he swallows nervously at this thought – the ruler of a nation. "–we need to talk."  
  
"I do not understand." Yixing tells him honestly. "Why are you here? I am supposed to be expecting the Emperor, and you should leave before–"  
  
"Yixing–" Jiaheng cuts him off mildly, his shoulders tensed in a manner that makes Yixing think Jiaheng is trying to reach out for him, yet not allowing himself to do so. "–you  _are_  looking at the person you are supposed to meet."   
  
Yixing's head spins further. He has not had enough sleep to deal with this. "I do not understand," he says in a voice so calm, it surprises himself. He'd thought he'd be angrier, more confused than this.   
  
Jiaheng seems conflicted for a long moment, as if trying to think over his words, trying to pick the right thing to say. In the end, he sighs resignedly, and rubs at his temples. "Yixing, I am not Li Jiaheng." A pause, as if allowing the words to sink in. "I am Wu Yifan, the Emperor of China."   
  
And Yixing's blood runs cold.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Yixing wakes up with his mind spinning. It's already dark out, and he isn't sure how long he has been sleeping. The covers on him are made of the finest of silks, entirely too warm for late Spring, and Yixing peels it off him, heaving a sigh of relief when the cold air hits his sweaty body. The bed isn't exactly uncomfortable, just unfamiliar, and he groans a little at the way his muscles protest before he opens his eyes completely.   
  
Yixing is not lost on the fact that he's in the palace, but that's where a splitting headache decides to make his life miserable again. He still can't wrap his mind around the reality that the only person he knows in the palace is the Emperor himself – he's been lied to, cheated for so long, that Yixing can't help feeling resentful towards Jiaheng. No,  _Emperor Wu_. As far as his feelings for Yifan goes, he still can't forgive Yifan for doing this to him. All those rants and dissatisfied comments he's said about the Emperor and his ruling regime weren't supposed to be heard. Yixing really should have kept his mouth shut. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten himself into this mess.   
  
A knock comes in the direction of the door just then, and Yixing gingerly props himself up on an elbow, rearranging his dishevelled robes and clearing his throat before he calls out, "Come in."  
  
He's met with the second surprise of the day when Zitao emerges in his room, and, remembering the way Zitao had very nearly sliced his head clean off his neck a couple of months ago, Yixing subconsciously backs up against the wall in alarm. His eyes follow Zitao cautiously as the latter lights a candle, illuminating the dark room with a warm, orange glow, then kneels down before Yixing on the floor. Yixing has to squint a little at the sudden brightness, before his eyes get used to it.  
  
"Good evening, Consort Zhang. Have you slept well?" Zitao greets. Yixing finds that he isn't used to the stiffness in Zitao's voice – more so than before – or the fact that he's treating Yixing with so much respect. He very much prefers it when Zitao is being openly hostile with him; at least it gives him a sense of normalcy.   
  
Yixing, feeling the crick in his neck, decides to forgo the question because no, how is he supposed to sleep well with such a massive revelation coming to light when he least expected it? "You have all deceived me." He says evenly, even though the logical side of his mind tells him Zitao hadn't a choice in this. He's likely to be unable to go against Yifan and his wishes, but  _still_.   
  
There's a dismayed look on Zitao's face when he tries to smile at Yixing. "I have tried to reason with His Majesty–" Zitao confesses, causing Yixing to look up at him in surprise. "–but His Majesty, as you probably already know, is stubborn as hell."   
  
If anyone else had heard him, Zitao would probably end up dead for criticising their ruler, but Yixing is not one to gossip. Instead, he smiles a tight smile at Zitao. "Indeed, he is."  
  
"I hope you are not angry with what he has done." Zitao tries, then shakes his head and amends himself. "I do not know what motive His Majesty has behind bringing you into the palace, but if you are worried about him being romantically interested in you, he is not."   
  
His words surprises Yixing further. "Why do you say that?"   
  
The light in Zitao's eyes mellow down when he recalls a distant memory of his, and the way he speaks of it next is fond. "For His Majesty, no one can surpass Consort Lu's position in his life. His Majesty had just confessed to me how much he misses Consort Lu, before he had sent me here."  
  
"Then why has His Majesty sent you to me?" Yixing questions. He really doesn't understand the way the minds of these people in the palace work. Everyone seems so confusing, and everything contradicts greatly with another.   
  
"To ensure that you are well, Consort Zhang. He worries for your health, and wants me to check on you because you had seemed exhausted before he'd left, earlier." Zitao informs, the smile now gone without a trace. He is back to being a private messenger on the Emperor's behalf.  
  
 _Anyone_ , Yixing thinks wryly,  _would be as exhausted as I feel, if they were to be thrown into the thick of the fire without any prior warning_. But he doesn't say it. Instead, he curls up into himself, hoping that Zitao will take it as a cue to leave him alone. He needs time – lots and lots of time – before he can truly accept everything that's happening to his life at this particular moment. It definitely isn't going to happen within a day or two, though. "I am fine, Zitao. Let His Majesty know that I will resume resting for the rest of the night, and that I do not wish to be disturbed."   
  
The words roll off in an unfamiliar manner from his tongue, and Yixing tries to ignore the bitterness that lingers. He doesn't want to get used to ordering people around.  
  
Zitao, falling back into the mold of a Royal Guard effortlessly, only bows in acquiescence, the way he would before a greater power, even though Yixing technically isn't yet related to Yifan in any way. He doesn't deserve such respectful treatment until he is officially wedded to Yifan in a month's time. "As you should, Consort Zhang. It would also be good for you to remember that your etiquette classes begin from tomorrow. A maid will be here to fetch you to the location in the morning." He lets Yixing know, and then bows a little lower, before taking his leave.   
  
He knows it is an unsightly conduct for someone who's soon to be another of the Emperor's  _hougong_ , but Yixing ignores the guilt in his mind and flops down on his bed as he usually does when he has too much to think about. It's probably the last time he'll ever be able to let go of himself like this, and Yixing thinks he's allowed to act like nothing has changed, if only for tonight.  
  
It still doesn't mean Yixing  _wants_  to stay, however. 


	15. Chapter 15

"Master," a tentative voice calls out for him in the darkness of the room, but Luhan does not stir until a hand is placed on his forearm, its weight on his skin filled with hesitancy. "Please, it will not do for you to act in such a manner. You must eat."   
  
Luhan turns a little on his bed – a foreign entity altogether to him, from the sheer amount of time he has spent sleeping elsewhere but his own chambers ever since he's come into the palace – allowing his eyes time to adjust to the lack of light. A shadow is crouched by his bed, dressed in black clothes to blend in and lessen the chances of him being discovered, but his eyes are bright even in the dark. Luhan doesn't like that it's filled with concern – he's not the person that Luhan wants to see being concerned.   
  
"All of the food tastes bland to me, now. What is the difference between drinking water and eating, if that is the case?" Luhan croaks, his voice hoarse from the disuse. He hates that his mind automatically brings Yifan into the picture, imagining how much he'd dislike Luhan as he is now, without the silky smooth voice Yifan has come to love all these years.   
  
The shadow dares himself to heave a sigh. "Master, the battle is not lost yet. I have been watching the Emperor. He still asks a great deal about you to his servants. You still have a fighting chance against Zhang Yixing, if you so wish. But please, eat, so that you will have the strength to fight. I know you are not someone who would give up this easily." He says, and Luhan's eyes widen just a little, his pupils dilating at the prospect.   
  
"You are right, Kai. I simply must not appear weak before the enemy." He says, this time with far more determination than before. "I will show Yifan that it is not easy for him to replace me, and I will make him regret for ever having brought the other peasant in."   
  
With that, Luhan crawls out of his bed with the sort of grace and fluidity that makes him look as if he's dancing, the way  _Yifan_  likes him, his long, untied robes dragging across the floor after him as he crosses the room to clean up.   
  
This is a fight he will never give up on, and Luhan schemes.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Yixing stifles a yawn with the back of his sleeves as he walks through the labyrinth that is the palace grounds, trailing after the maid whom Zitao had promised will show up at his room that morning. Whatever things he's heard about the denizens of the palace not being early-risers is false, he's learned, when a succession of raps on his door woke him up hours before the sun has risen. Yixing had found himself in a state of disarray, not used to the sudden change in his daily schedules, but he guesses he has to be thankful that the maids were already used to dealing with sleepy royals, allowing Yixing to sleep on while they worked on his outfit. By the time Yixing had had enough sleep, they were already done with prepping him up for his etiquette classes that morning, greeting him with bright smiles which left Yixing blushing from the attention.   
  
He tries not to fidget in his new clothes, made of fine silk which Yixing has never even dreamt of wearing, feeling thoroughly uncomfortable in them. The material is scratchy against his skin, nothing like the weightlessness he's used to with his clothes made of cotton, even though silk is technically the lighter fabric between the two. The thought itself is ridiculous, and Yixing just knows everyone will laugh at him for it, if he ever dared voice what was on his mind.   
  
It's also so incredibly lonely, when no one else dared speak to him if it isn't necessary, for fear that their heads would roll if they did. Yixing has tried several times throughout their journey, only to end up being ignored with an apologetic now from the palace servants, and he wishes desperately for them to loosen up. He came to the palace in hopes of making friends, not enemies, even though he knows the latter is an impossible feat to accomplish.  
  
Yixing suddenly misses his parents and the other scholars in the Academy.   
  
Still, Yixing knows better than to let his loneliness show. His father had graced him with a piece of advice right before Yixing had left, telling him to keep his chin high no matter what happens. _Pride and confidence are of utmost importance in a place where everyone carries themselves with a pompous air_ , his father had told him,  _but never learn of their callousness; never lose yourself in the luxury; merely carry yourself in a dignified manner and not lower your head for another person, for you are your own person_. And when the others are able to sense his loneliness, they are going to be attracted to him like vultures, feeding on his misery. After all, denizens of the palace can't have anything more interesting to do, apart from mocking those who happen to be born into less fortunate circumstances as them. Yixing is sure he's going to be the next target, Emperor's Consort or not. Even if he doesn't hear them with his own ears, people  _will_  talk. They always do.   
  
He remembers the manners instilled in him by his mother, when he finally arrives at what seems like the Imperial Library and meets the man who's supposed to tutor him in the etiquettes of the palace, bowing with his arms folded over his lower abdomen. Yixing flushes, though, when the man laughs and says, "A Consort – or, in your case, a Consort-to-be – does not bow to their servants, Your Highness."   
  
His words has Yixing straightening up in alarm, his head spinning from the sudden rush of blood to his brain and from the lack of food in his stomach. Yixing hadn't been much interested in the palace food he'd been served with, mostly bland and tasteless, unlike the savoury dishes his mother makes at home. He pushes that thought away, though, and smiles wryly at his tutor. "I apologise. I still am not accustomed to the do's and don'ts I should be following. It is all too new to me."   
  
"That is why I am here, to help you with getting accustomed to the palace rules, Consort Zhang. I am sure it is not easy for someone who was born a commoner to be plucked out from the masses and be thrown into a place where there are rules governing everything to the most minute of details." The man placates him with a kind voice.   
  
It's only then that Yixing takes note of the man's appearance. When Yixing had been told he was going to have a private tutor, he'd imagined someone much older than him, uptight and stern like the teacher he'd had in the Academy, but the man that stands before him defies every stereotype Yixing has been thinking of. He's a man slightly older than Yixing, with a kind smile that makes Yixing feel incredibly welcomed for the first time since he's stepped into the palace grounds. Yixing thinks the man will be good company.   
  
"I am not the sort of person you were expecting, am I?" The man muses again, startling Yixing. It's only then that Yixing realises he's been caught staring, and his cheeks grow warmer.   
  
"Sorry, I am just–" Yixing starts, then the words die on his tongue.   
  
Mercifully, his tutor knows exactly what's on his mind. "Overwhelmed?" He prompts, causing Yixing to nod dumbly in agreement. "It can be rather confusing, for someone who did not grow up in the palace. But I am sure you will adapt soon enough. You seem the resilient type to me."  
  
Yixing smiles sincerely for the first time, feeling warm inside despite the cool Spring morning. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it–uh. You are–?"   
  
"Oh, dear me. I forgot to introduce myself." The man jumps at the prompt, quickly straightening his robes and bowing respectfully at Yixing. "Park Jungsoo, Your Highness, and I hope I will be of service to you."   
  
Yixing's answering smile just grows wider.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
When Yixing was told that he'd be spending several weeks leading up to the marriage date learning the ropes to surviving the Forbidden City and the decorum that governs it, he'd been dreading to face these lessons. They sound incredibly dry to him, something which was supposed to be taught to  _ladies_ , not men like him. It's only by an unfortunate twist that he's stuck in a situation like this, and to find himself getting married to another man. Sure, he enjoyed Jiaheng's – no,  _Yifan's_  – company a lot, but this,  _this_  is an entirely different matter altogether.   
  
Jungsoo thankfully made it all bearable for him, his patience in teaching Yixing impeccably unshakable. Sensing his interest in the history behind each custom, Jungsoo takes some time to inform Yixing of them, too, satisfying his curiosity.  
  
It hasn't been long since he'd started his lessons with Jungsoo, but Yixing begins to think that perhaps it's not too bad, after all.   
  
It's on one fine afternoon, three days after he's started his lessons on the mannerisms which are expected of the Emperor's  _hougong_  that Yixing meets another person from the palace, apart from Yifan, Zitao, Jungsoo, and the maids tasked to care for his needs.   
  
Jungsoo is already pulling Yixing to stand when the guard calls out and announces the arrival of Consort Lu, and, when he senses Yixing's confusion, whispers urgently to Yixing, "His Highness may be called the Emperor's Consort, but his rank in the palace is equivalent to that of the Empress of the Dragon Throne."   
  
Instead of fear, though, Yixing senses something  _else_  in Jungsoo's voice. Indeed, when he turns to look at Jungsoo, he has a smile on his face. "You seem fond of him," Yixing comments, and Jungsoo nods as he pulls Yixing to kneel on the floor.   
  
"He is the nicest person you can find in the palace. Knowledgeable, too. I am sure you will find him companionable." Jungsoo whispers back, just as a new set of footsteps pad into the room. From his peripheral vision, Yixing takes note of the hem of Consort Lu's fine robes of midnight blue, and how every step of his is taken with grace, and a pang of envy rushes up to greet him. Yixing is by no means graceful – he's as clumsy as anyone can be, oftentimes spacing out and losing himself in his thoughts, which leads to even more self-inflicted accidents. He's really not qualified enough for this.   
  
Once they call out their greetings to Consort Lu, the other man gives his permission for them to rise, which Yixing does gingerly, still not used to the way his robes pool around him when he kneels. Thankfully, Jungsoo is there to assist him, which makes it less of an embarrassing sight to watch.   
  
The sight that greets Yixing, though, has him widening his eyes in awe, jaw almost slack. He sort of understands why Zitao had told him Consort Lu stands at a very important position in the Emperor's heart the other day, or why everyone seems to be taken with him. Consort Lu reminds Yixing of a doll, with skin so flawlessly smooth and fair from the distance that he appears ethereal, long lashes casting shadows over his cheeks under the light, his features extremely delicate. But to say that Consort Lu is feminine will probably not be right, because he holds himself with utter confidence that's unrivalled by anyone else Yixing knows of, and it in turn creates a completely different charm for the man himself.   
  
Yixing is still mesmerised by Consort Lu's looks, until the man comes to stand before him. Even the smile Consort Lu wears is polite, and Yixing can't help feeling completely inferior to him. He pales terribly in comparison.   
  
"You must be Yixing." He says, and Yixing wonders exactly how much people knew about him and his background. Having the Emperor announcing that he's marrying a commoner out of the blue would kick up a huge storm in the palace, Yixing is sure, and he wouldn't be surprised if everyone already knows who he is, even before he's formally introduced to them. After all, it shouldn't be difficult to recognise a new face in the palace grounds, when everyone knows everyone else.   
  
"Yes, Your Highness. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you from Zitao." Yixing greets, hoping that his words do not come off as rude. As things are, Yixing isn't sure where he stands – if he's a commoner still, or if he's already considered a part of the royal family. The lines are blurred.   
  
Yixing isn't sure if he's imagined it, but he thought he saw the corner of Consort Lu's mouth twitch in annoyance. "Really. I hope he has not said anything about me being nice? I am Luhan, by the way." The tone comes off as light, but still Yixing feels as though something isn't quite right. He turns to look at Jungsoo for help, however, and thankfully his tutor understands the silent message Yixing is trying to convey.   
  
"Actually, Your Highness, I did." Jungsoo tells him sheepishly. "You have always been kind to me."   
  
Luhan smiles faintly at Jungsoo's comment, but this is more sincere than the one he's graced Yixing with. "Because you are a pleasure to have, Minister Park. I have enjoyed your tutelage greatly when I first came here."   
  
This time, Yixing can't stop himself from gaping at Luhan in surprise. "When you first came here? That means–"  
  
"Yes, I was a commoner. Just like you." Luhan tells him, his words coming off as cold instead of comforting. "I have come a long way since then, and I do not appreciate it when someone walks right in and tries to ruin the happiness that has been painstakingly built throughout the years."  
  
Yixing takes a tentative step back from the impact of Luhan's words. His presence is not welcomed, it seems, but Yixing can't find it in himself to rebut, to tell Luhan that this isn't what he wants, that he's forced to marry Yifan. It would all sound like empty lies anyway – who in the right frame of mind would want to opt out of a marriage with the ruler of China?   
  
There's a satisfactory smile on Luhan's face when Yixing stays completely silent. "You are a scholar, am I right?" Yixing nods numbly at this. "Then you must be intelligent enough to know where your limits are. Remember, Yixing. I have my eyes on you."   
  
Even when Luhan has left the room, Yixing can't shake off the chill that lingers on his bones, leaving him frigid and suddenly very afraid. Deep down, however, he's sure he's unknowingly made his first enemy in the palace grounds.   
  
And a formidable enemy Luhan is, with his unrivalled status in the  _hougong_  as its head. 


	16. Chapter 16

"Pardon me for my insolence, Your Majesty–" A voice speaks up while Yifan is adjusting his robes before the mirror, and Yifan turns a little to regard him. "–but may this humble servant please have a word with you? In private?"   
  
Frankly, Yifan really isn't in the mood to talk to anyone else after what had happened during the conference with his ministers that morning – of which the Empress Dowager had been present and Luhan, had not – where everyone had been objecting to Yifan's decision to have another male concubine. He had sensed his advisor's keen eyes on him from the Great Hall itself, but Yifan had chose not to acknowledge it. Right now, in his private chambers, Junmyeon has him cornered, and there is no longer any place for Yifan to run.   
  
Pressing his lips into a thin line, Yifan turns to his servants and sends them off with a short look. Even Zitao is not spared, and Yifan has to personally tell him to take his leave when his trusted bodyguard tried futilely to blend into the walls. While Yifan has always allowed Zitao to listen in on his and Junmyeon's discussions, finding no reason for them to be a secret, he has a hunch that this day's discussion is not suitable for the ears of another.   
  
When they are finally left alone, Yifan heaves a sigh and sits himself at the stool before the dressing table, watching as Junmyeon takes the floor cushion closest to Yifan. "Do you intend to talk to me as my advisor, or as a friend?" He asks cautiously, the exhaustion clear in his voice. He's tired of this, having to be wary of the things everyone intends to ask him these days, having to define the boundaries at which people are allowed to cross, no matter how close they are to him. Yifan doesn't feel much like the Emperor of China, when anyone and everyone tries to question his decision and his sanity these days.   
  
He is no longer a child, and would appreciate it if everyone would stop treating him as such. It is but a far-fetched dream, however; he  _is_ , by every means, a fledgling when it comes to the governance of his nation. His ministers have far more experience than he can ever hope to have.   
  
Junmyeon flashes a wry smile at Yifan at the question, scratching at the back of his head as he contemplates his words. "Can I not speak to you as both your friend and your advisor?" is what Junmyeon finally says, his smile unwavering.   
  
Yifan does not immediately answer to that. He's not sure if he wants to hear what Junmyeon intends to discuss with him, but then again, the best advices are also the most jarring ones. People always favour words that soothe their ego, and not the ones that challenges it. Nevertheless, what sets Yifan apart from the rest is his identity as the Emperor of China. He's trained to listen to everyone's opinions, no matter if he agrees to them or not.   
  
"Is there something the ministers have missed out during the conference?" Yifan questions, his fingers reaching up to massage the bridge of his nose. He rather misses Luhan's gentle hands at times like these; Luhan has always known the exact way to knead at Yifan's temples, in order to relieve most of his stress and the pain that pounds at his skull.   
  
"What do you think?" Junmyeon questions back, and instantly Yifan knows that Junmyeon has assumed the role of his friend, from the lack of formalities in his words. "You are quite the damper these days."   
  
The corner of Yifan's mouth quirks up a little. "How can I be happy, when I have not seen Luhan for almost a week? He has not been to my study or the Imperial Archives either, I was told by Kyungsoo. You know that rarely ever happens."   
  
Indeed, it is unlike Luhan to not be poring over the precious volumes of books stashed in the Imperial Archives, who prefers occupying his free time improving his knowledge on various aspects rather than indulging himself in frivolous activities that hold no meaning to life. It is by that virtue that Yifan had taken a liking to Luhan at all, for Yifan loves a person who can engage in an intelligent debate with him without considering about the consequences of arguing with the Emperor – very rarely can Yifan find a woman who can do exactly that in the palace, let alone on the streets of his nation, where womenfolk are not at all learned – unlike his discovery of the hidden gem that is Luhan. A brilliant mind hides behind that beautiful face of Luhan's, even if he vehemently denies the latter, and it is through intense debates over literature and politics that Yifan had found himself falling in love with Luhan.   
  
"I have warned you, Yifan." Junmyeon tells him, but his words are without heat. "It is still not too late for you to change your mind, and to call off the ceremony. I believe Luhan ultimately wants to know that he will not be replaced, and then he will be by your side again."   
  
Yifan buries his face in his hands, feeling frustrated. "I have never ever thought of replacing Luhan. He will still be my Consort, regardless of what happens. And you know I want to give Yixing the opportunity to provide feedback for the governance of the nation, especially after our ministers have robbed him of the ranking he deserves on the Imperial Examinations."  
  
"An atonement?" Junmyeon muses. "Surely there is another way around this. I am not of the opinion that Luhan wants to maintain his title as your Consort, either."  
  
"An atonement." Yifan confirms with a grim nod. "I do not see Yixing in the same light as I do Luhan. And I understand what you are trying to tell me; but sometimes, I believe it is better to keep everyone but a select few in the dark, so as to not expose my plans."   
  
Junmyeon chuckles at that, brightening up their moods just a little. "With those ministers still presiding over their positions, I do not believe it will be an easy task. That is, if I am understanding correctly that you intend to change the system single-handedly."   
  
"What is success without a challenge to precede it?" Yifan smiles wanly. "But I will not change my mind. The Emperor will not retract his words. The ceremony will go on, and Yixing will officially be a part of my  _hougong_  in a month's time."  
  
"And Luhan?" Junmyeon queries again, the worry clear in his eyes.   
  
Yifan can't stop the sigh from slipping off his lips, this time. "I will do whatever that is within my means to convince him I have not had a change of heart."  
  
He can already taste the difficulty on his tongue, remembering how long he'd spent trying to convince Luhan to come back to the palace with him all those years ago. This will be twice the challenge, if not more.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
Learning about the palace customs isn't as horrid an experience as Yixing had initially thought. In fact, he rather enjoys it, being able to discover different facets of palace life that the commoners are not privy to. Setting aside the fact that it still is a dark place to live in, when you haven't an idea whom you can put your trust in and whom you should avoid at all costs, the culture is really an eye-opener for Yixing. It definitely helps that he has a good tutor like Jungsoo, who possesses vast knowledge about the palace despite his young age, and has infinite patience when it comes to addressing Yixing's curiosity.   
  
At least, learning is something he can look forward to every morning, and when the palace maids shake him awake, it isn't that difficult to actually get out of bed, unlike the first few dreary days he's spent in the palace all alone. There's also the companionable presence of Do Kyungsoo, the keeper of the archives, to fall back on when he really has nothing else to do.   
  
This day, though, there's a new tutor who has been assigned to him, someone who possesses kittenish features and sharp, keen eyes. Yixing's told that he's going to be in charge of polishing up Yixing's palace etiquette.   
  
"We are going to have to work on your accent," the man before him makes a face the moment he hears Yixing speak, and Yixing tries hard not to slouch in defeat. He's been doing such a stellar job at keeping to Jungsoo's expectations, but here he is, disappointing someone else. Yixing has had enough of it in this lifetime of his, bringing down someone else's expectations when he's touted to perform well.   
  
"Is it that horrible?" Yixing tries with a wry smile. He's hyperaware that he's been brought up as a commoner for far too long, and any attempts to bend him into the mold of the perfect palace denizen is probably going to be met with much difficulty. Almost like teaching an old dog new tricks. It isn't as though his capacity to learn is limited; it's just that old habits will take time to be unlearned, after being ingrained within him for so long.   
  
"No, but it  _is_  some ways off from being perfect." The man tells him again, this time with a warm smile, and Yixing promptly loosens up. Perhaps he is going to have to change his perception that every single person in the palace holds a strong sense of jealousy whenever someone new comes in. "I am Chen, and you really have no reason to be afraid of me. I am not strict nor am I uptight, unlike Junmyeon the Imperial Advisor."   
  
"Please, do refrain from spreading fallacies about me, Chen. I will not be pleased if you cost me a new acquaintance in such an underhanded manner." A new voice joins them just then, causing Chen to stiffen in response, which is then followed by muffled laughter.   
  
Chen seems as though he's about to shoot off a witty remark when he recognises the man, but then his eyes widen the moment he takes notice of the other person trailing behind the first man, and he immediately goes down on his knees. "May our Emperor be blessed with longevity and good health to lead our nation forth!" He calls out, his hand not forgetting to tug at Yixing's robes to remind him that he's supposed to do the same.   
  
Yixing is however rooted on the spot, blinking at the sight of Jiaheng in the palace. If his mind hadn't jolted back to reality in time and reminded him that  _Jiaheng_  is actually the alias used by Wu Yifan, the Emperor of China, he would have forgotten all proper conduct and greeted him like an old friend. Who knows what might transpire from that?   
  
Yifan saves him the trouble of kneeling though, waving his hand dismissively. "There is no need for formalities, or I would have had the guards announce my presence. Please, rise." He says, the grin on his face wide and bright, as though he's just walked into a room full of his friends, not his royal subjects.   
  
Yixing would have smiled along with Yifan, if he hadn't remembered that he'd essentially been lied to about Yifan's true identity. He still can't get over that fact, not when he's been forced to leave the comforts of his own home and to build another life from scratch, living pretentiously at that.   
  
Sensing the tension which has suddenly enveloped the room, both Junmyeon and Chen quickly excused themselves, claiming that they had some scholarly debate they owed each other. Yifan doesn't seem as though he believed in their words, but he doesn't stop them from leaving, either.   
  
The tension grows into full-blown awkwardness when they're finally left alone, and Yifan's smile turned wry as well. "I believe I know what is on your mind. Please, sit while we have a chat."   
  
Yixing does as he is told, not having the courage to defy the Emperor's orders, despite how close they might have been while Yifan was still masquerading as Li Jiaheng. He doesn't feel as though he knows Yifan anymore, unsure how much of that façade Yifan has worn is real.   
  
"Your Majesty–" Yixing starts, when the silence stretches on for far too long. It's evident that neither knew what to say, when they're suddenly thrown into roles different from what they've already been used to, and especially when Yixing is supposed to be  _married_  to Yifan at one point in time. Yixing still can't stomach that reality, no matter how much he's tried to convince himself it's going to be fine.   
  
It isn't. Not when Luhan has made it clear Yixing isn't welcomed in the palace.   
  
Yifan doesn't proffer him the opportunity to finish, however, raising a hand to stop him mid-sentence. "You are more than welcomed to address me by my name, Yixing. There are exceptions to the rule."   
  
"I dare not, Your Majesty." Yixing dips his head in apology. "For I am nothing but a humble slave to you."   
  
He can see the annoyance in the way Yifan's mouth twitches at his words. "There is a reason behind my summoning of you into the palace, but it is still not yet the time to tell you why."   
  
Despite himself, Yixing raises a mocking brow. "Oh, so it was not done on a whim? You seem fond of doing things as you please,  _Your Majesty_."   
  
Again Yifan's expressions turn another shade darker than Yixing had thought it possible. Perhaps, by a stroke of luck, he might be spared from the worst of Yifan's wrath and be banished from the palace, instead of having his head sliced clean off his neck. It's wishful thinking, Yixing knows, but he can always hope. After all, it's the only thing Yixing can do best – to hope for something that's not achievable.   
  
"Believe me when I say I have your best interests at heart." Yifan tells him, his voice surprisingly level for how agitated he appears to be. "You may not see it now, and I do not blame you. Just – trust in me."   
  
Funny, how easily he throws the word out. Yixing almost wants to laugh in derision. "You expect me to trust in you, when you have done nothing but to lie to me about your identity,  _Li Jiaheng_. How much of that was true, and how would I know you are speaking nothing but the truth?"   
  
There's a personal sense of satisfaction bubbling within Yixing when Yifan visibly flinches at his alias, and then there is defeat which disappears as soon as it had appeared on his face. "Give me time, and I will prove to you that apart from the name I have given to you, everything else was the true  _me_."   
  
Wanting to hear nothing else, Yixing abruptly pulls himself to stand and bows as he had been taught by Chen just this morning – the way  _nobles_  are supposed to and the way Yixing has to  _pretend_  he's one by birth – all while schooling his expressions into a cold mask of indifference. "Time is all you have, Your Majesty, for I am to be wed as your concubine, am I not? I bid thee well."   
  
Even as Yixing walks out of the Imperial Study – the way he has always done on the streets of Chang'an, and not the slow, unhurried steps Chen has tried to ingrain in him – he can hear the way Yifan has slammed an open palm against the wooden tabletop, the sound reverberating through the now-empty space. He frankly doesn't care if Yifan orders for his beheading, right now, if it would put him out of his misery. Anything at all so that he won't have to go through the humiliation of being married to another man. 


	17. Chapter 17

Time and tide waits for no man, and Yifan is beginning to have a taste of that saying when the date for the wedding ceremony draws infinitely closer. Even if there aren't much preparations to be done – Yifan had requested for the ceremony to be held at a smaller scale, not wanting Luhan to think that Yifan's replacing him with Yixing any more than Luhan already does – he still finds himself growing more exhausted with each passing day.  
  
It definitely has a lot to do with convincing the rest of the ministers that his decision will not affect the nation's progress in the long run. He conveniently leaves out the part where he'll be pushing for Luhan and Yixing to have a greater say in the Great Hall when they all convene to discuss about the country's governance in the future. No one apart from himself and Junmyeon needs to know that for now, and he's still convinced that Luhan and Yixing will be able to aid in the shaping of a better nation, if only their voices are allowed to be heard on the Court.   
  
For now, it is but a far-fetched dream.   
  
If Yifan has anything to be glad for, it's for the fact that he has Junmyeon firmly by his side. Junmyeon's mere existence holds great significance to Yifan's life, a lot more than the simple Emperor-Advisor relationship they display in the open. For one, Yifan would definitely have lost his mind, if Junmyeon wasn't there with his wisdom and endless patience. At least Yifan knows that if ever the world decides to betray him, Junmyeon will still be there by Yifan's side. He can only hope that he'll find Luhan on his other side, though judging from the way things are between them right now, the hope seems more and more like a dying flame.   
  
Yifan tries not to focus on the morbid side of things. It can't do for an Emperor to feel discouraged, especially when he has the weight of an entire nation on his shoulders. Only the weak will succumb to the pressure, and Yifan likes to think he isn't one of them.  
  
Then again, it's not the only thing Yifan thinks of. His mind is constantly busy, thoughts flitting from one subject to the other. It's as though he has to shoulder the worry for the rest of his subjects, too – if they'll survive the drought this year, if another country will grab the opportunity of the economic slump to attack and seize his nation. Even at night, Yifan isn't spared from these thoughts, and he's often kept awake until dawn is fast approaching, lamenting another sleepless night when he has to get ready to face his mostly-unhelpful ministers.   
  
It's far worse, when Luhan isn't there with him. He's the only one who knows the right things to say to Yifan when he's stressed out, without sugar-coating them or stroking Yifan's ego in the process.   
  
"You must be thinking of Consort Lu again, Your Majesty." A deep, quiet voice interrupts Yifan's thoughts, making Yifan stir. It isn't until he catches his reflection in the full-lengthed mirror that Yifan remembers he'd been fixing his robes before his thoughts had run away on its own.   
  
Yifan straightens his sleeves and turns away from the mirror in the most natural possible way, keeping his expressions impassive. It's one of the skills he's picked up over the years he has been reigning as the Emperor of China, one which only Luhan and Junmyeon can see through without much effort. He's mildly surprised that Zitao has picked up on the emotions that show on his face, too, though he supposes it should be normal, considering the amount of time Zitao spends in his presence.   
  
But it doesn't mean Yifan is going to give Zitao the satisfaction of knowing that he's right, though. He has his reputation to upkeep.   
  
"Why do you say so, Zitao?" Yifan asks, watching Zitao meaningfully, a little challengingly. He wonders if the younger man is bold enough to forget the fact that Yifan's the Emperor and speak his mind for once.   
  
Apparently, Zitao has the capacity to talk to Yifan like an old friend would. "There is this...  _look_  in your eyes whenever you do these days, Your Majesty. This humble servant does not mean it in the way you frown when you contemplate over national matters, but rather a soft, resigned gaze when your thoughts linger upon the Consort. And – pardon this humble servant for his insolence – sometimes it is sad, even."   
  
Instead of getting riled up, though, Yifan can only chalk up a thin-lipped smile. How easy it must be for someone else to read his face as of late. He simply must get back to working on wearing an invisible mask on a daily basis, for his weak side must not be known by the public. Yifan  _knows_  he  _will_  be exploited if his weaknesses are laid bare for everyone to see. It's just how the world works – the fittest will rule, and the weakest will be ruled upon.   
  
"I will commend you for your observation skills–" Yifan starts, and he can see the way Zitao perks up ever so slightly, possibly hoping that he'll get to hear the reason from Yifan himself, but today is not the day. "–but I believe I am running late for another meeting."  
  
Yifan tries not to laugh when Zitao visibly deflates at the statement, but of course he can count on the younger man to keep tabs on his responsibilities without having to be told.   
  
It doesn't stop Zitao from throwing out one last comment, though. "A meeting which will not take place if the wedding does not happen, Your Majesty." The words are soft, quiet, but Yifan can hear it all the same, can taste the accusatory tone Zitao is employing.   
  
Yifan knows how fond Zitao is of Luhan, and it takes all his might not to lash out at his loyal Guard. After all, how many allies of his can he afford to push away, before he crumbles completely?   
  
  
\--  
  
  
"Master," he hears Kai calling for him from the shadows, and instantly Luhan's eyes are bright with anticipation. He has been avoiding Yifan intentionally for the last couple of weeks, when the preparations for Yifan's wedding with Yixing goes into full swing, because Luhan still can't stomach the reality that his lover – the person who had promised him forever, that he will be the one and only – is marrying yet another man.   
  
It doesn't stop Luhan from ordering Kai to watch over Yifan, however. He's heard of the news from both Junmyeon and Zitao, of how much Yifan misses him and is trying to search for him on the palace grounds to no avail, but Luhan can't seem to trust them. The knowledge that Junmyeon and Zitao's loyalties ultimately lie with Yifan remains, and there is no saying if they're just telling him that piece of information under Yifan's orders.   
  
He wants to laugh at the thought. How deep-seated his distrust has become, that he has to be sceptical about the things his supposed  _friends_  are telling him.  
  
Luhan rises from his bed, smiling satisfactorily at himself when he finds his meticulously put-together outfit relatively unruffled, and sits on its edge. His eyes are trained on the direction where Kai's voice had come from, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "What have you got for me, Kai?"  
  
Kai steps just a little further into Luhan's chambers into the sunlight that has managed to escape through the crevices of the shut windows. It strikes him then, how much Kai has grown through the years. Luhan still remembers him as the boy who'd followed his late father into the hall, with eyes too cold for someone of such a tender age, yet will transform into a completely different person when he's alone with Luhan. The latter seems to have disappeared through the years, which is a terrible pity. Luhan thinks that Kai looked the best when he's smiling.   
  
"The Emperor has just taken his leave from his private chambers. This will be a good opportunity to speak to him, before he meets Zhang Yixing, if you so wish." Kai informs, and Luhan can hear the reluctance in his voice. Kai is fiercely loyal, he knows. Luhan also knows that he doesn't approve of Luhan taking on such a submissive role in the palace, but his loyalty restricts him from commenting about it. Such is the relationship between him and Kai – that of a master and a servant.   
  
Luhan pretends that he has never noticed the love in Kai's eyes when he looks at Luhan. It's cruel, but it is far better than leading him on, when they both know nothing good will come out of it.   
  
"I have never expressed my intentions on meeting Yifan," Luhan tells him evenly, but he knows Kai doesn't buy his words when he dares look away from the floor and raises an eyebrow at Luhan. Perhaps he's been telling Kai too much about his past with Yifan as of late – or maybe it's more to rambling his heart out – but there isn't another way to go about filling the void in his heart but to submerge himself in memories.   
  
"Then there is no reason for you to dress yourself in fine silk otherwise, Master." Kai replies. Luhan can't stop himself from huffing petulantly, and he quickly slips on his shoes, walking towards the door with his robes flowing after him.  
  
"Do not follow after me, or I will ensure that a proper punishment will be meted out if I sense your presence anywhere near." He warns when Kai starts after him, because Zitao will definitely be there to escort Yifan, with Sungmin and Han Geng shadowing his tracks. One can never be  _too_  careful, even if he is on palace grounds.   
  
He catches his reflection in the mirror on his way out, and beams with satisfaction at what he sees. There is no reason why Yifan would willingly discard someone with Luhan's looks to the side, and there is no way Luhan will settle for anything less than that.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
There's a dreadful feeling seated in his stomach as Yifan approaches the building where he's supposed to meet Yixing one last time before their scheduled wedding. The incident from a week ago – the one where Yixing had walked out on him – remains fresh on his mind, and it doesn't take much for Yifan to know that Yixing is upset with him.   
  
It isn't as though Yifan can't empathise, however. He would too feel the same way, if he were to be uprooted from his comfort zone and forced to rebuild his life in a place where he knows absolutely no one at all. There are times where Yifan actually considers calling the wedding off and letting Yixing return to his home, breaking things off without ever seeing Yixing again, but then he remembers how Yixing had relayed his intense desire to take part in forming national policies and offering his opinions on the building of the nation and Yifan aborts these thoughts.   
  
He  _wants_  Yixing to be happy, but it's glaringly obvious that it entails certain sacrifices – sacrifices which he might regret in the long run. Right now, though, Yifan decides to have faith in his decisions and soldier on.   
  
After all, who will believe in the decisions he makes, if he himself doesn't?  
  
He doesn't even realise that someone else is crossing his path, until his other servants come to a complete halt, all bowing at the other person before him. Yifan's heart nearly stops when he's greeted by the sight of Luhan; it has honestly been far too long since the last time he'd seen Luhan. Not since he'd made the decree that Yixing is to be married into his _hougong_  all those weeks ago.   
  
Yifan's heart positively breaks at how gaunt Luhan has become, the circles beneath his eyes dark and barely concealed by the powder Luhan had taken care to put on his face, and he wonders if Luhan has been eating well. It isn't in his intentions to neglect Luhan, but his Consort, his  _love_  had been making himself scarce, and it definitely isn't an easy feat to search for Luhan, when the Forbidden City covers such a large expanse of land.   
  
"I bid thee well, Your Majesty," Luhan speaks up just then, and Yifan can feel a shiver running down his spine – not from excitement, but because of the coldness of Luhan's voice.   
  
There's an intense urge brewing within Yifan, to surge forward and claim Luhan in his embrace, but his mind reminds him that they're standing in public eye, and it will not do to flaunt their intimacy in such a setting, married or not. Not everyone accepts the skewed relationship Yifan and Luhan shares, even if Yifan  _is_  the Emperor of China.   
  
"I have not seen you in a while, Consort Lu." He says quietly, wincing internally at his own use of formal titles. There is no other way around the stupid palace rules that forbid them from using their birth names around each other – to protect the sanctity of it, so to speak.  
  
"You have been particularly busy of late, Your Majesty. It is only natural for Your Majesty to not seek for me, when you have a new consort by your side." Luhan points out, and his words feel as though someone has stuck a dagger into Yifan's chest.   
  
Above all, Yifan's heart constricts at the way Luhan seems so pale and frail, a vast difference from how he'd been when Yifan had last seen him. He takes in a deep breath and tries not to let the anger consume him, as offended as he was by Luhan's comment. Besides, he can't let the palace servants know that they're in a fight – humans born of royal blood should never air their dirty laundry in public – because of a new addition to Yifan's  _hougong_. It is unsightly.   
  
"Have you been eating well? You seem to be under the weather." He says instead, trying for the most sincere smile he can manage. Yifan wants Luhan to know that he's sorry for his decision – he really is – but he also needs Luhan to actually stop and listen to what he's trying to tell Luhan. It's difficult, when Luhan refuses to be in the same room with him when there's no one else around.   
  
Much to his astonishment, Luhan actually bows curtly at him, an act that tells Yifan their conversation is over whether he likes it or not, and smiles thinly at him. "This humble servant extends his gratitude for Your concern, but there is no need for you to worry about this meaningless existence, Your Majesty." He replies, and at the exact moment Yifan's hands ball up into fists by his side, Luhan quickly excuses himself, disappearing around the corner without even looking back to measure Yifan's reactions.   
  
To say that Yifan is livid is the understatement of the century.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
"You are playing with fire, Master." Kai's quiet voice greets him when he's finally out of Yifan's sight, which makes Luhan tense up because it's still not safe enough for Kai to make an appearance around him.   
  
"I thought I told you not to come after me." He hisses through clenched teeth. He doesn't even look at Kai, only staring resolutely at the ground before him. It's taking everything he has to not release his frustrations in the form of tears. Talking to Yifan is everything he's been craving for in the past few weeks, yet at the same time he loathes himself for even acknowledging Yifan, for all that Yifan has done to betray his trust.  
  
Kai doesn't seem remorseful as he walks astride Luhan. "If I had not, you might not have held back with your words, and it  _will_  cost you your neck, Master."  
  
Damn Kai and his keen senses. Luhan doesn't dignify him with an answer, and keeps walking in the direction of his private chambers. He's trying so hard to not crumble before Kai, who looks up to him for being a resilient person.   
  
Sensing his stubbornness, Kai merely sighs. "Is it truly worth it to bait the Emperor with your words in such a manner? You might end up losing him for good–"  
  
Luhan comes to a complete halt just then, glaring at Kai with all the strength he can muster. "I know what I'm doing, Kai. Stay out of this."  
  
Kai only bows in acquiescence, but still Luhan can hear the way Kai mutters  _I certainly hope so, Master_  beneath his breath.   
  
It doesn't sit well with Luhan at all. 


	18. Chapter 18

It's not as though Yixing is counting the days on purpose, but there's only so much he can ignore when the palace is buzzing with a flurry of activities – most of which requires his presence, considering the fact that he's supposed to be one of the main characters in the play that is going to be staged a week from now, before the eyes of the government ministers and nobles and the Empress Dowager. None of that is important, though, not when Yixing is still worrying over what Luhan might do to him  _after_.   
  
It's laughable, really, the way Yixing is acting. Luhan and him have met for a grand total of once, when Luhan had went out of his way to extend his greetings – or rather, to give Yixing a subtle warning to  _back off or else_  – but it still doesn't stop Yixing from entertaining what he might possibly face in the palace, once the wedding ceremony is out of the place and he truly becomes a part of the  _hougong_.  
  
Yixing  _still_  doesn't think Luhan will buy his reasoning that he has never had any intentions of ousting Luhan from his rightful place. He wonders how beautifully terrible Luhan might turn, when the jealousy and the rage truly seizes him. The thought both frightens and fascinates him, and Yixing is convinced he's slowly losing his mind. It hasn't even been two months since he had set foot in the palace. He dreads to imagine how the rest of his life will progress within these walls.   
  
Then again, Yixing is not a weak-willed person. He wouldn't have otherwise persevered and allowed himself to attempt the Imperial Examinations over and over and over again, studying hard for the next exam from the very moment he finds out he didn't make it.  
  
All that is far behind him now. He won't have to sit for the examinations again, even if he had intended to.   
  
Right now, Yixing finds himself faced with a brand new challenge – one where he will not find someone who can share their experiences with him, for it is unique in all its glory. With the days fast dwindling, the resolve grows exponentially within him, knowing there's no way Yifan will rescind his decree, and he will officially end up as Yifan's consort whether he likes it or not. Instead of moping over it like he had in the earlier days, Yixing has decided to make the most out of it, and is hell-bent on not making a fool of himself. He may have been born as a commoner, but Yixing is determined to show the rest of the palace's denizens that he has what it takes to fit into their ranks.   
  
That resolve is what drives Yixing to pay extra attention on the lessons which Jungsoo and Chen are trying to ingrain within him, all while forcing the habits he's carried from his old life out. The latter commands greater effort from all of them, considering Yixing's subconscious efforts at maintaining something that defines  _him_ , not wanting to forget his roots just because he's supposed to live in the palace for the rest of his life. Slowly but surely, though, Yixing pushes them to the back of his mind, keeping them concealed but never really letting them slip completely from his being.   
  
He can do this. He  _will_  do this, even if it takes everything he has in him to achieve it.   
  
  
\--  
  
  
There's a vicious voice in his head, one that's calling him  _insane_  and  _masochistic_ , above all things, when Yifan makes the decision to head to the Imperial Study. He knows that Yixing will be there, considering the fact that Jungsoo and Chen are busy drilling last minute court mannerisms into him, but it's a few days shy of their planned wedding ceremony, and Yifan wants,  _needs_  to rectify the invisible tension between them. It will not do to have his royal subjects sense that they are not getting along well, for it will invite more scorn and contempt than already present.   
  
That, and he sincerely wants to see how Yixing is doing. Yifan is already selfish enough to have dragged Yixing into this without prior warning and without offering a decent explanation; he wants to make it up to Yixing, somehow. At the very least, ensuring Yixing isn't suffering too much would be adequate. He'll continue making up for everything he's done wrong over the years, if Yixing is willing to stick around till then.   
  
Zitao, for all the reluctance he's displaying on the outside, offers no objection when Yifan tells him of his plans. The younger man knows of his boundaries and responsibilities all too well, and it's not as though he hasn't spoken up to Yifan, informing Yifan what he thinks deep within with respect to the mess Yifan has created. He merely acquiesces with a nod and an arm crossed over his chest, waiting in silence for Yifan to take his first step out of his chambers.   
  
Sometimes, Yifan wishes his friends would actually tell it to his face that his plans are that of a mad man's, instead of fearing Yifan's nonexistent wrath. He's not a cruel person; at least not where he can help it.   
  
There's a small smile on Yifan's lips when he arrives at the study and finds Yixing listening attentively at the explanation Jungsoo is offering to him, presumably about yet another of the palace's quirky culture – in a commoner's point of view, anyway. It's the way Yixing's eyebrows are slightly furrowed as he takes the information in, nodding from time to time to indicate his understanding, his lips sealed shut and never attempting to disrupt his tutors mid-sentence which had attracted Yifan in the first place. It reminds him a lot of a quieter version of Luhan, who's studious yet feisty in many ways Yixing is not.   
  
Where Yixing is silent and observant, Luhan is vibrantly talkative and inquisitive, questioning Yifan in various aspects of their studies. Yixing, on the other hand, debates with a calm voice and tries to take on his opponent's point of view, reasoning in the quietest way possible.   
  
Yet, Yifan favours them both – more Luhan, for reasons that are obvious. He's loved Luhan far longer than he has gotten to know Yixing, and he can say with conviction that he will continue to love Luhan for a long time.   
  
If only Luhan knew.   
  
Jungsoo immediately makes to stand when his eyes flicker up and catches sight of Yifan standing at the entrance. Yifan had asked the guards stationed at the entrance of the study to not announce his arrival, as he intends to see Yixing without pomp. It simply won't do to drive in the fact that Yifan is the Emperor of China, not when Yixing is already upset with him for keeping it a secret for so long. He wishes Yixing can understand that it's not something he can reveal offhandedly, because it will cost both their lives – Yifan to assassins, and Yixing to the Empress Dowager. A wry smile pulls at the corner of Yifan's mouth when Yixing scrambles out of his seat as well, and he quickly asks both of them to stand, to not pay much heed to the formalities when there isn't anyone else around.   
  
He feels infinitely thankful that Jungsoo's senses are still keen after all these years of servitude to Yifan, for the Imperial Tutor soon excuses himself without making things too obvious, pretending that he'd just remembered a prior engagement he has to attend. He's sure Jungsoo knows Yifan has something to speak to Yixing in private, if the encouraging smile he flashes at Yifan just before he leaves is anything to go by. Yifan wants to squeeze Jungsoo's hand in utmost gratitude, but it'd make Yixing suspicious, so he doesn't.   
  
For all that Yifan can sense that Yixing is still unhappy with him, the atmosphere surrounding them is considerably less tense and awkward compared to the last time they'd met. Yixing is playing absently with the writing brush that's rested against the inkwell, rolling it from side to side, his eyes completely focused on the action of his fingers instead of looking at Yifan. Yifan doesn't blame him, though; he might react in the exact same manner, if he were to put himself in Yixing's shoes.   
  
"How are you holding up, Yixing?" Yifan speaks up moments later, the silence much too overwhelming for him to bear. He keeps his gaze trained upon Yixing, who's seated across the table from him, and takes notice of the way his fingers have stopped playing with the brush.   
  
At first, Yifan had expected Yixing to answer his question with a sarcastic remark, but Yixing surprises him when he merely sighs and withdraws his hand, keeping it on his lap. Yixing looks so horribly vulnerable like this. "I have been better, Your Majesty–" A pause, when Yifan interrupts him mildly and encourages Yixing to forego all forms of formality. Yixing still winces as he grinds Yifan's name through his lips, nevertheless. "– _Yifan_ , but I am holding up for now."   
  
Yifan smiles in relief, hoping Yixing can sense his sincerity. "That is good to hear. I was worrying if you should be unaccustomed to the life in the palace. I understand that things are moving at a pace bordering on insanity."   
  
The corner of Yixing's mouth twitches a little, and Yifan again anticipates a sarcastic remark. It does not come. "You need not worry about a lowly servant like me, Your– Yifan." Yixing says instead, but the words hurt Yifan more than anything else in the world. It's a cruel reminiscent of what Luhan had said to him in the hallways, just a couple of days ago. "I will survive, somehow. Commoners are more resilient than you think, for all that we appear horribly frail."   
  
Again Luhan crosses Yifan's mind; he does not doubt that fact, even for a split second. Conversely, he is of the opinion that those who are highborn are more likely to shatter with even the slightest amount of pressure.  
  
He keeps the smile on, but the weight of his guilt is growing far too heavy for him to sustain it. "I am sure you will, Yixing. You have always been strong." Yifan tells him, then finally heaves a sigh of his own. "I do wish you will not resent me for dumping such a fate upon your head, no matter how overwhelming of a request it is to make. I will clarify things eventually, but the time is yet to be right."   
  
Yixing responds to his smile with one of his own that doesn't quite reach his eyes, adding to the pang of guilt caged within Yifan's chest. "You are not giving me a choice, Yifan. I cannot possibly run even if I wanted to, can I?"   
  
Yifan presses his lips into a thin, grim line, and shakes his head solemnly.  
  
"Then I have no other way to deal with this, apart from sitting here quietly and allow you to do as you please." A mirthless chuckle escapes from Yixing's throat, and Yifan can see the way the muscles in Yixing's arm tenses up beneath his robes, an indication that his fingers are currently digging deep into the flesh of his palm.   
  
Yifan rubs at the back of his neck, the invisible weight on his shoulders making it ache. "I know that no amount of apologies will be able to rectify the stress I have put you through, but I only ask of this – trust in me, and I will never ask for anything else."   
  
It's only then that Yixing finally looks up at him, the fire dancing in his eyes captivating in many ways Yifan has never known before. "Then  _convince me_. Convince me that everything Li Jiaheng has said and done comes from his heart."  
  
  
\--  
  
  
"You seem... drained." An amused voice speaks up from the direction of the entrance, making Yixing look up from his perch on the table, where he'd been trying to catch some shut-eye to no avail. Yifan has long since left the study, after having proclaimed that he will not disappoint Yixing once again, and promises that Yixing will not regret for giving him another chance, so long as Yixing meets him before Yifan's Court on their scheduled wedding. Yixing, on the other hand, is left to his own thoughts, many of which question his sanity for agreeing to Yifan's request so easily.   
  
Repressing the groan at the memory, Yixing sighs and straightens himself on the floor cushions, smiling wanly at the newcomer. "It has been a gruelling week." He says, even though it is merely a quarter of the truth.   
  
Chen doesn't seem as though he buys Yixing's words, if the smirk on his lips is anything to go by. "Are you sure it is not because of the conversation you just had with the Emperor, Your Highness?" He inquires, and Yixing's cheeks flame anew, much to his chagrin.  _Had_  he been that obvious?  
  
He has half the mind to refute Chen's question, but Yixing gives it slightly more thought, and relents. Chen is probably the best advice-dispenser he can find in the palace, so Yixing swallows and pushes the last of his hesitation out of his mind. "Will you forgive someone who has lied to you the entire time you have been acquainted? If they show signs of remorse and are sincere in remedying what they have done wrong?"   
  
There's a thoughtful look on Chen's face as he pads across the study and drops himself on the floor cushion across Yixing. It's not for another two full minutes that Chen finally comes up with a response, and he does this by looking at Yixing meaningfully, as though he knows of the things on Yixing's mind. "I believe–" he starts, speaking in a deliberately slow manner, "–that the answer lies with what your heart wants to feel. If your heart is inclined to forgive, then do."   
  
Yixing thinks about the times he's spent looking forward to the next meeting he'd have with Jiaheng and the conversations they'd share, the way his pulse speeds up just a little when Jiaheng appears at his doorstep two weeks after their last excursion, and sighs. He  _doesn't_  know, doesn't understand what he wants.   
  
Deep down, he wonders if he really is averse to the idea of marrying another man, or if he's merely upset that he had been lied to.   
  
Nevertheless, Yixing wants to delude himself into thinking that he has all the time in the world to figure this out, promptly ignoring every jarring thought that's trying to force themselves into Yixing's consciousness. In the end, when he remembers that Chen is still waiting for an answer, Yixing flashes another weak smile at him. "I wish I knew what my heart is trying to tell me." He confesses, then spends the rest of their lesson avoiding Chen's eyes. 


	19. Chapter 19

The regalia on his back is heavy, weighing down upon his shoulders and making them almost sag. But then Zhang Yixing remembers where he stands, what he's supposed to do, and what's expected of him, and he inhales deeply and evenly, squaring his shoulders and rolling them back, bearing the weight to the best of his ability. It is nothing more than a rehearsal before the actual event, but already he's expected to don the outfit he has to wear on the day of his marriage ceremony, for the sake of polishing his posture to perfection. It _is_ the palace after all; they expect nothing less than the best of performances, even if Yixing isn't granted nearly enough time to fit in.

Yixing tries not to sigh at how pretentious everything is, even if he knows that the Forbidden City thrives on putting up a flawless, created image. If only the other citizens could see how rotten everyone in the palace is behind their perfectly-crafted porcelain masks, they'd probably stop wishing that they were a part of it. Cruelty is cleverly concealed behind saccharine smiles and gentle hands and seemingly kind words. Humanity is a concept that is foreign to those who have lived within these grounds for far too long a time. 

Yixing can only hope he doesn't get sucked into that void, too. 

"Your Highness," a voice says at his elbow, and Yixing automatically turns to regard the guard who is with him, already accustomed to the title by the sheer amount of times he's been addressed with it. Again, his skin crawls with the frightening realisation that he's settling into this life far too easily, almost as though he didn't put up any form of resistance at all. Yixing's nails dig into the flesh of his palm to rid himself of those thoughts. This is not the time to dwell upon it. "Is Your Highness prepared? They are ready to start with the procession." 

Inhale, exhale, then Yixing nods ever so briefly. "Yes, please do proceed." He tells the guard, his words sounding alien to his own ears from how clipped and formal they are. Chen would probably be proud, though; he's managed to grasp and perfect the way a _royalty_ should speak, all within the span of a few days. It's not without its fair share of frustration and setbacks, which Yixing isn't proud of, but at least he's gotten to where he's supposed to be. 

When the shrill sound of the _suona_ rises into the air, accompanied by the thumping beats of the drums, Yixing takes another lungful of air in, closing his eyes and hoping for the best, before opening them once again in determination. With every step he takes forth, edging closer and closer to the Dragon Throne where Yifan will be waiting for him at the end, the confidence grows within him, alongside the desire to make this work, to change the opinions of those who have looked down upon him, thinking that a lowly commoner like Yixing has no – and will never have – a place in the Forbidden City. If Luhan can do this, so can he. 

It's with such thoughts in his mind that Yixing traverses the rest of the distance with his chin held high, lips pressed together without the slightest semblance of a smile and eyes kept steadily forward – the way Chen has taught him, told him it is necessary for him to assert his standing before the rest of the Court. He's reminded time and again that once the marriage ceremony is over and done with, he will stand at a position higher than the rest of them can ever dream of being in, and as such has the authority to command them around. Try as the Court may to deny it, but the fact that a Consort's words is almost akin to those coming from the Emperor's lips remains, and those who dare go against them are considered as committing treason of the highest order, second only to disobeying the Emperor's decree. 

Yixing thinks dryly that, perhaps, is why Luhan has managed to hang on for so long. 

By the time he reaches the end of the path he's supposed to take, Yixing bravely meets the gaze of Jungsoo and Chen who were tasked to oversee his lessons in fitting into the mould of a royalty, showing them that he's come a long way, that he hasn't forgotten anything they've taught him over the weeks. There are proud smiles on their faces when they see him, and what Jungsoo says next is the best thing he's ever heard in the recent weeks. 

"You are ready, Your Highness." 

 

\--

 

Compared to the actual wedding ceremony, the rehearsals pale in comparison in terms of stress levels. At the very least, Yixing now knows that he's ready to take on the day's proceedings, and the only thing he has to worry about is to not trip over his own feet or on the flowing robes he has to don for the morning. It feels awkward to be dressed in robes so scarlet in full view of everyone else, the colour a potent attention-grabber and making heads turn the moment he passes them by, but Yixing tries not to let their glances affect his disposition. He has expectations to fulfil, and it's not only Jungsoo's and Chen's this time, but the rest of the Court that governs the blessed land of China. 

The first gaze he manages to avoid looking at is the Empress Dowager's. It's really not a secret that she's vehemently against Yifan's decision to have another man as a part of his _hougong_ , much less the idea that these men whom Yifan has decided to make them his is placed at a higher position that the other concubines – those who are able to bear the offspring that guarantees the sustenance of the Dragon Throne under Yifan's family name. The way she looks at Yixing as he draws closer to the throne bears nothing short of contempt and displeasure, an expression that is almost foul on a day where everyone should be celebrating. 

Yixing doesn't blame her sombre mood, though. 

The next pair of eyes that he tries to avoid is none other than Luhan's, whose presence Yixing finds surprising. If he were in Luhan's position, Yixing doesn't think he'll ever be able to bear the thought that the person he loves is marrying another, let alone witness the proceedings with his own eyes. Nevertheless, the stiff posture Luhan is maintaining – something which Yixing would never have associated with the man, for the sheer amount of times he's seen Luhan walking gracefully despite what he may truly feel deep within – tells Yixing that he definitely _doesn't_ want to be there, and Luhan might even walk right out of the ceremony if he had a choice. It's then that he remembers something Jungsoo had told him just a couple of days ago, that the first spouse is to be present at the wedding ceremony even if they do not approve of the matrimony, for their standing over the second spouse has to be asserted in full view of the others. 

Nothing but another farce, as far as Yixing is concerned – another act of staged acceptance, even if all Luhan probably wants is for Yixing to fall over and die at this very moment. The coldness is evident in Luhan's beautiful eyes, something which is entirely misplaced. 

What truly makes Yixing sick to the stomach, though, is the way the corner of Luhan's lips curl into a cruel smile when he catches Yixing looking at him. It's almost as though he's promising Yixing a life of hell the moment the vows are exchanged – it's not as though Yixing has the power to object, for his head will be rolling on the floor the instant he says _no_ , but Luhan doesn't seem to be the sort of person who cares for someone he barely even knows, much less the one whom he assumes is stealing Yifan away from him. 

The only consolation Yixing can draw from this is the way Yifan's smiling at him encouragingly beside Luhan, almost as though he knows how intimidating everything is to one who's not accustomed to such grandeur. Yifan is dashing as always, similarly red robes taking the place of his usual gold ones, and it's funny how Yixing has never taken notice of the aura of a ruler which Yifan exudes, completely unmistakable right now from how the rest of the Court are bowing at him. 

"Worry not," Yifan tells him in a quiet voice when Yixing finally joins him at the end. "The ceremony will be over soon enough." Yixing can only smile briefly at him, not knowing if he should be consoled by Yifan's words, because his inner state of mind is still actively objecting against the proceedings. He doesn't want to be wed to another man. 

Still, Yixing finds himself bowing mechanically – the way they have rehearsed in the last couple of days – to the instruction of the High Priest, at the Heavens above then at the Empress Dowager, before he turns to face Yifan once again. 

He silently mourns for the loss of his original identity when he crosses his arm with Yifan's in a ceremonial gesture, taking a sip of the wine in the cup that has been handed to him, watching the softness in Yifan's eyes as they complete the ceremony. And when they face the Court, now proclaimed as a wedded couple to the faux cheers of those present, Yixing assumes the identity of Consort Zhang, the new addition to Yifan's ever-expanding _hougong_. 

The chill caused by Luhan's piercing gaze trained upon his back never ceases through it all.

 

\--

 

If he had been nervous for the wedding ceremony, that feeling is amplified a hundred fold by the time the celebrations are done for the day, and night looms upon them. Yixing may be inexperienced, but he _knows_ for a fact that marriages are supposed to be consummated in the most intimate of ways on the first night, which brings him back to the question of: how are two men supposed to do it? 

A shudder racks through his body at the first thing he imagines, and Yixing swallows nervously as he follows after Yifan to his new chambers. Yifan is oddly silent through everything, keeping to himself as he walks with Yixing, though Yixing wonders if it's because there are servants with them. He makes his presence known to Yixing, though, with the occasional brushing of their arms which sends more tingles down Yixing's spine.

Only when they're finally left alone in the too-red room does Yifan speak up. To Yixing's surprise, Yifan doesn't sit next to him on the bed, but instead maintains a respectful distance by taking the far corner. "Thank you." Yifan whispers, and Yixing turns to him in surprise and confusion. 

"What are you thanking me for, Yifan?" He asks, the characters still foreign on his tongue. He guesses it'll be a while before he will get used to calling Yifan with his birth name instead of _Jiaheng_. 

Yifan glances at him with a soft smile that oddly _hurts_ , almost as though Yifan is suffering in silence from something yet unknown. "For going through with the ceremony, even if it humiliates you. I know this is far too much to impose on you." 

_If you knew, then_ why _did you insist on proceeding with it in the first place?_ The bitter retort has somehow found its way to the tip of Yixing's tongue, but he swallows it down, not wanting to ruin the supposedly joyous atmosphere of the day. Even if he's the reluctant party in this scenario, Yixing is conscious enough that inauspicious words should not be uttered. It's tacky, but it's still tradition. 

Instead, Yixing heaves a sigh and shakes his head. "I am but a powerless person in the light of things. I have pledged loyalty to the nation and its ruler, and if this is what I have to do to stay true to my vows, then so be it." He tells Yifan, before his hand moves up to undo the ties on his robes. Yixing has figured that since there is no way he is going to escape this fate, then he might as well accept it wholeheartedly, humiliation be damned. 

Again, Yifan surprises him by walking over and holding Yixing's hand in place, his gaze on Yixing almost searing, unfathomable at best. "Stop. I will not do something of that sort, touching you when you are not even willing to be touched. And I will not accept your reasoning that this is to show your loyalty to me, because that is not what I have wished for."

"But–" Yixing splutters a little, feeling the flames of embarrassment lick at his cheeks for being so shamelessly assuming. Another part of him feels relieved that at least Yifan's still humane enough to not force himself upon Yixing, and it's Yifan's saving grace. 

"I have done enough damage by forcing you to go through the wedding ceremony. I have never thought about doing anything more." Yifan insists, then his fingers are gone from Yixing's wrist. The ghost of his touch still lingers even when Yifan takes a step away from him. "Sleep well, Yixing. I will see you tomorrow." 

A simple wish for a good night's sleep, and then Yifan is gone from Yixing's chambers. There's an odd sense of relief bubbling within Yixing's chest when he finally wraps his head around everything that has happened thus far, one that tells him he's allowed to sort out his thoughts in the mean time, and Yixing falls into a deep, comfortable slumber for the first time since he has set foot in the Forbidden City, knowing that he has one thing less to worry about for the moment.


	20. Chapter 20

He's drunk. He has never drank this much alcohol before in his life, but of course all it takes is watching Yifan with another man by his side for his self-restraint and meticulously maintained poise to go to hell. 

Luhan doesn't even know how he had ended up here, in Yifan's chambers, after he had left the dining hall where the festivities are in full motion. There is no one else with him, considering how he had dismissed his maids when they had made a move to follow after him, but this is exactly what he needs – some solitary time for him to be with his thoughts.

Luhan had thought he could bring himself to hate Yifan for all that he has done to hurt Luhan with his actions, but it's growing increasingly obvious that it is never going to happen. Even after the wedding ceremony today, even after Luhan has witnessed Yifan exchanging vows that promises a lifetime together with someone else that isn't him – words which are supposed to be for Luhan and only Luhan – he realises that he still aches, _craves_ for Yifan to look at no one else but him. 

Pathetic, pathetic, _pathetic_. Luhan laughs in self-derision as he walks-stumbles into the room, eyes glazed over as he glances around. Not surprisingly, Yifan's chambers isn't draped in obnoxiously red cloths in celebration for the wedding night, considering how he's expected to spend the evening in _Yixing's_ chambers instead. The rules of the palace are simple: no one is to sully the sanctity of the Emperor's sleeping chambers, and any intimate acts are to be performed at the chambers of the Emperor's _hougong_. Luhan is the only exception to that rule, which Yifan had bent for his sake. 

Right now, though, Luhan isn't sure if that's such a good thing after all. No matter where he turns to look, all Luhan can remember are the times he's spent with Yifan within these four walls, debating and cuddling and making love, of all things, and Luhan's heart clenches painfully in his chest. It's been far too long since he'd last been with Yifan, and as much as Luhan's trying to avoid him, he sorely misses Yifan's touch. 

_Pathetic_ , he hisses viciously at himself once again as he falls onto Yifan's bed, closing his eyes for a bit before he turns to lie on his side. Luhan groans weakly at the way his head is spinning from the amount of rice wine he's downed, taking deep, even breaths to keep his stomach's contents in. The only consolation he can get from this is the fact that he'd made sure to eat before the binge drinking, which significantly watered down the full effects of the alcohol. He doesn't think he'll still be able to stand otherwise.

With another exhale, Luhan curls his fingers into the sheets, feeling the softness of silk beneath his digits. Even though he's now breathing shallowly, Luhan hates that he can still smell _them_ in this space, the distinct scent of sandalwood which Yifan loves mingling with the scent of jasmine that defines Luhan. 

The nostalgia hits him hard, even though it hasn't possibly been more than two full moons since he'd stopped coming here, and it brings back images and memories which Luhan would rather not look back upon right now. These images are unforgiving, reminding him of the way Yifan would hold him like he's the only one Yifan has in this world, the way Yifan would slowly break him apart and put him back together again with his kisses, his touches, his words. 

The memories drive him to undo his robes, fingers running feather-light down his body and diving right beneath the waistband of his pants, the way Yifan would always pleasure him with teasing touches. Luhan gasps soundlessly when his fingers wrap around his cock, remembering how Yifan would slowly stroke him to complete hardness, before sealing his lips around Luhan's erection until Luhan spills into his throat. It's the first time Luhan has ever resorted to pleasuring himself like this, but it's fast becoming obvious to him that it'll never be the same as when Yifan is above him, looking at Luhan with tenderness and passion in his eyes. 

Luhan wonders what he's done wrong to drive Yifan away from him, or why Yifan refuses to abort the idea of marrying another man. 

A stray tear escapes the corner of his eyes at the thought, even as his body responds to the way his hands are fisting his erection and pinching his nipples, the ambient temperature climbing to a feverish heat, back arching off the bed in a way Luhan knows Yifan likes watching him. Yifan has called him beautiful on more accounts than one, even when he's slowly coming apart at Yifan's ministrations, his skin covered in sweat and hair matted against his face. 

But those tears of sadness turned into ones of frustration when Luhan can't seem to bring himself to completion. He knows he's not satisfied with only his hand as a companion, not when he's spent all his intimate moments with Yifan to coax these reactions out of him, but no matter what he does or how he twists his wrist this way and that, Luhan _can't_ come, even if he's aching to. 

With one last stroke, Luhan yells out in frustration, hating himself much, much more than he had before, for wanting Yifan to such a pitiful extent. His cock is still sits curled towards his stomach, throbbing painfully in a mocking manner, and Luhan honestly wishes he hadn't gotten himself this worked up in the first place. He doesn't know how many cold baths will suffice to calm himself down. 

"Master–" Kai speaks up in the darkness just then, causing Luhan to curse anew because he hadn't realised that his faithful servant is in the room, though he probably shouldn't be surprised by his presence by now. Kai has never obeyed Luhan's commands to stay away, always preferring to be as close to Luhan as he can afford to – all in the name of protecting Luhan with his life. It's a vow Kai had made when he'd first set foot in the Lu household, and it's one promise someone's made to Luhan that is still being upheld. "–do you... Do you want me to help you?"

It's the first time Kai has ever sounded so unsure, his voice trembling with every syllable uttered, but still it doesn't stop Luhan's cheeks from burning in mortification at the mere thought that Kai has witnessed such a shameful side of him. Luhan sits up on Yifan's bed and buries his face in his hands, shaking his head in response. "It is unnecessary, Kai." 

It's not until Luhan registers that a source of heat is standing close to him that he looks up from his hands, and his heart stutters a little when he sees the look in Kai's eyes. Somehow, he'd completely missed Kai's transition from a young child to the person that's standing before him, possibly too used to Kai's constant presence by his side, and the man with him right now is an entirely different person, his eyes burning with determination. 

Luhan also knows he should be scooting away when Kai kneels between his legs, but somehow his muscles refuse to budge. The searing look in Kai's eyes is compelling him to _see_ into Kai's mind, one that's trying to scream at Luhan to look at _him_ as a man, not as a child who has always been his servant. "Master, please." Kai whispers, and the way his fingers skim across the jut of Luhan's bare hips makes him shudder. "Let me please you. Let me worship you for all that you are worth, for all that you deserve to be worshipped. If that man refuses to look at you, then let _me_ take his place instead. I hate to see you suffer in such a manner." 

"Kai–" Luhan gasps when Kai's fingers only dig deeper into his skin. " _Jongin_ , I beg you. I am not worth it." 

The way the corner of Jongin's lips curl into a smile is simply heartbreaking and entirely misplaced. It's one of self-mocking, for a servant should never have fallen in love with their master.

But sometimes, you just can't stop love. 

"It does not matter. I only want you to be happy, so please, allow this worthless servant to be selfish for once." Kai says, and Luhan inhales sharply when Kai's warm breaths puff over his sensitive head. Kai is so incredibly close to him, and is only getting closer with each passing second that Luhan doesn't speak up about his request, and Luhan really wants to be selfish like Kai has asked to be. There's only so much he can take of Yifan's obvious betrayal, and in the long run, Luhan is sure he will need the caress of another person to keep him satiated, should Yifan end up sidelining him in favour of Yixing for good. 

Luhan's fingers curl into the sheets once again, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, and then just as Kai is about to reach for his exposed cock and tuck it into his mouth, Luhan tells him in what he hopes is his surest voice, "No. I can permit you to do everything else under the sun, but I cannot allow you this." 

 

Because Luhan knows how much it hurts to harbour an unrequited love, and to string someone along to satisfy his selfish indulgences is something that's horribly cruel. He's angry at Yifan, that much is true, but there's simply no way he will drive the only person he has left in this world away from him, even if he _must_ continue denying Kai like this, even if his actions are cruel in its own way.

 

Above all, Luhan _cannot_ find it in him to cheat on Yifan behind his back, no matter that Yifan is the one who's in the wrong. His rational thoughts tell him that it will only create a greater rift, and not one, but two heads will roll if Luhan ever succumbs to the temptation. 

 

Even if Kai flashes him a defeated smile and draws away from Luhan with a respectful bow, Luhan thinks this is alright. This, he will be contented with. "As you wish, Master. I apologise for having overstepped my boundaries–"

 

Before Kai could even complete his sentence, they both look up in surprise at the direction of the door when the guards yell out an energetic greeting, praying for Yifan's longevity, and the panic promptly rises within Luhan. He hadn't expected Yifan to wander back to his chambers tonight, and he quickly draws his robes shut, fixing himself to the best of his abilities. Then, he turns to Kai and hisses, " _Go_ , before they find you here and rule you as an assassin!" 

 

Kai merely bows again, and disappears without a trace, just as Yifan strides into his chambers. 

Luhan's body may be screaming to be close to Yifan's at this very moment, but he doesn't hesitate in the least when he stands up in a huff and brushes past Yifan without even looking at him. He knows his actions comes off as disrespectful to the Emperor of China, but Luhan has never thought of Yifan as such. They had met as commoners, and he will always look at Yifan as such – as the man who had stolen his heart all those years ago, as the man he calls as the love of his life. 

"Luhan–" Yifan calls out, and Luhan instantly regrets for not having put a greater distance between them when Yifan reaches out and catches Luhan by his wrist. "Please, wait." 

Luhan hates that the alcohol is wrecking his mind, because he thinks he hears how broken Yifan is right now. "What. There is nothing for me to say." He snaps instead, trying to wrench his arm back from Yifan to no avail. He's much too intoxicated, much to weak for the look in Yifan's eyes to resist, anyway, and Yifan seems hell-bent in keeping him there. 

"Have you been drinking?" Yifan queries instead, and Luhan winces. 

"It is none of your concern, Your Majesty. Let go of me and return to Yixing's chamber as you should. It is your wedding night; it will not be prudent to be seen without your new spouse." Luhan retorts, averting his eyes from Yifan when he remembers how he had been so close to letting Kai suck him off in this very room – the room which holds an abundance of memories of him and Yifan together. He positively wants to throw up. 

"It does not matter, not to me!" Yifan raises his voice just then, shocking Luhan into silence. "Can you not see the reason why I am here instead of Yixing's chambers?" 

A vicious thought crosses Luhan's mind just then, but Yifan seems to have noticed the look in his eyes, because he suddenly lets go of Luhan's hand and reels around in frustration. "Stop whatever you are thinking, Luhan. I have never wanted to bed Yixing, because I have never seen him in such a way." 

"Then why–" Luhan starts indignantly, not understanding why Yifan is doing this to him, this guessing game. There may have been a time where Luhan hadn't minded all the guesswork, because it made things infinitely more interesting in the early days of their courtship, but right now, Luhan feels nothing but exhaustion. He doesn't want to guess what he means to Yifan right now, doesn't understand why he has to go through this. Their lives could have been simple in all its complexity. 

Yifan's gaze when he turns back to look at Luhan nearly has him breathless from its intensity. It's the sort of look Yifan has always employed when he wants to be taken seriously, when he's at his most sincere, and when there are no further layers concealing his words and true intentions. "I brought Yixing into the palace because he had wanted badly to serve the government, as a part of the rule makers. But the corrupt ministers in our fold have snatched these places away from those who are more deserving, and giving them to their relatives instead. 

"This was supposed to be Yixing's last attempt at the Imperial Examinations before he is subjected to a life of being a merchant under his parents' orders, so _God help me_ , Luhan, I need you, of all people, to understand that I am doing this to help him!" 

"I–" Luhan stutters, his mind reeling from the implications of Yifan's words. He doesn't understand why Yifan is going through such lengths – even sacrificing his ministers' good opinions of him in the process to help Yixing out. "Why are you doing this?" 

"Because–" Yifan replies, his tone almost pleading, and it's the most broken and conflicted Luhan has seen of Yifan. "–you should bear witness to his enthusiasm and his ideas at improving the nation. I would be a fool to let go of such a hidden gem." 

Luhan's resolve to ignore Yifan falls just a little, and the lines of his body are less resistant when Yifan dares to walk closer to Luhan. "Then you should have told me in the first place." He tells Yifan, his voice small and uncertain and _guilty_ for ever having doubted Yifan. Jealousy is a dangerous entity. "I thought you have grown tired of me."

There's a small smile on Yifan's lips when he reaches forward and takes Luhan's hands in his, squeezing gently as a silent reassurance. "I would _never_ grow tired of you, Han. I have loved you for so long, and I will continue loving you for a longer time still. All I am asking for is a little trust, but I am sorry I have taken this long to come forth with the truth. It is not easy for me to convince you that I do not have ulterior motives in proceeding with the ceremony, as I do not want my true intentions to be out in the open and draw flak before I can even set things in motion."

Luhan replies with a smile of his own, suddenly feeling extremely ridiculous. The things he has been agonising greatly over are but byproducts of his own insecurity, and he leans into Yifan's touch when Yifan's arms come up to wrap around him. "My trust you shall have, but please promise me this – never again hide the truth from me, even if you perceive that I will not believe in you. And your secret will be safe with me, Yifan." 

"I missed you," is all that Yifan says, words simple yet holding a great amount of promise in them. All of Luhan's inhibitions are thrown out of the window when Yifan leans forward, and he goes on tiptoes to meet Yifan's lips in the middle.

Yifan isn't the only one who's been doing all the missing, after all.


	21. Chapter 21

Yixing doesn't know what he's been expecting when Yifan had told him he'll see Yixing for breakfast on the morning after their wedding ceremony, but it definitely wasn't for him to be led to the royal banquet hall the first thing in the morning, much less for him to come face to face with the Empress Dowager. Now that he's been granted the status to look her in the eye, Yixing realises how stunning she is, her youthful features betraying her true age. Even though he's never seen the late Emperor, Yixing can kind of guess where Yifan had gotten his good looks from, in particular his sharp jawline and strong gaze. 

It's an awkward affair, when he's the only one in the hall dining with the Empress Dowager, especially when it's clear to the world that she doesn't approve of this union – not now, and most probably not ever. Her tone is clipped and cold, even as she throws question after common question at him in the presence of the palace servants, putting up an act of getting to know the new addition to her ever-growing family better in front of others. Yixing makes sure to answer them as truthfully as he can, though, for fear that he might anger her further if he were to be insolent. Knowing how influential the Empress Dowager is, it's definitely not a smart move for him to make, when she can call for his death as easily. 

Yixing has never felt more relieved to hear that Yifan's about to join them, when the palace guard announces his arrival half an hour later. At the very least, when Yifan is around, the Empress Dowager's attention will be wholly upon her son, instead of an insignificant _hougong_ of the Emperor's. Yixing thinks he should be thankful that the Empress Dowager hadn't broached the subject of last night, where Yixing's supposed to have consummated his marriage with Yifan. It would be an extremely uncomfortable topic to discuss, with so many ears lingering around the room, and Yixing really doesn't want to resort to lying, considering how absolutely nothing had happened between him and Yifan. 

He's in for another surprise, though, when Yifan sweeps into the banquet hall with Luhan trailing after him. Even after seeing him countless times by now, Yixing is still taken by the way Luhan carries himself with utmost grace, and it almost looks like Luhan doesn't have to exert any effort to walk, and is merely gliding across the floor, his flowing robes clinging onto his small frame in a flattering manner and following after him. And Luhan has never looked more beautiful than today, his cheeks tinged with a healthy rose pink tint, eyes livelier than Yixing has seen in them. For once, Yixing finds himself wanting to believe in Jungsoo's words, ones which had claimed that Luhan was a kind person. 

He can also see why Yifan would fall for a person like Luhan, when the man exudes absolute confidence in the way he carries himself, commanding attention without fail, and is utterly breathtaking in terms of looks. If Yixing hadn't known better, he would've believed it if someeone told him Luhan was born royal. 

Yixing barely manages to remember that he has to greet Yifan when he comes to sit beside Yixing, and the reassuring smile Yifan flashes at him calms him down just a little, taking his mind off the interrogation session the Empress Dowager had just put him through. Luhan takes his place on Yifan's right, his side profile putting his long lashes in full display, and Yixing is just a little more entranced with Luhan's delicate features. 

When Luhan turns to smile a little at him, though, it's when Yixing knows that something good has happened between Yifan and Luhan just the night before. He blushes at the sight of purpling bruises on the insides of Luhan's wrist when the Consort draws the sleeves of his robes back just a little, a sign that Yifan had made love to Luhan after he'd left Yixing's chambers. Yixing doesn't understand why, but his insides twists slightly with an emotion that he identifies as jealousy. 

It doesn't take long for him to banish those thoughts immediately. It is unbecoming of him, and he has no reason to feel jealous, when Luhan has been in Yifan's life far longer than Yixing has, and Yixing _doesn't_ harbour romantic feelings for Yifan. 

It seems that Luhan's good mood doesn't go unnoticed by the Empress Dowager, who sets her chopsticks down on her bowl and glances meaningfully at the couple who had just joined them. "If I had not known better, I would have thought that yesterday was the night of your marriage with Consort Lu, Emperor. You two seem to be in a good mood, and your new consort had joined me much earlier than you two have." 

"Sincerest apologies, Mother." Yifan dips his head slightly, more out of obligation than for respect. "It had been a long night, and we were both too exhausted to climb out of bed." 

"And Consort Zhang?" Yixing stiffens at the mention of his title, moreso when the Empress Dowager's predatory gaze lingers upon him. 

"Surely–" Yifan stresses, picking up his utensils as though the early morning conversation doesn't bother him in the slightest. "–you remember that I am required to spend the first night with my first spouse, Mother. It is tradition, and I am not ready to break that just yet."

Yifan's words may seem convincing to the others, but Yixing knows better, when he remembers what Yifan had told him before he'd left Yixing's chambers. Aside from that, the way Yifan reaches over to give Luhan's hand a reassuring squeeze beneath the table doesn't escape Yixing's eyes. The gesture is so tender than it strikes at Yixing's heart, making him wonder if he'll ever find someone to share such a moment with in the future. It seems unlikely; anyone who dares touch the Emperor's _hougong_ will surely be faced with death, and Yixing is not cruel enough to sentence such a fate upon someone else. 

For now, however, the Empress Dowager seems to have bought Yifan's reasoning, because she shrugs a little and returns her attention to the food before her. "Just as well. I hope you have not forgotten about the condition I have set, for my allowing of Consort Zhang to join our family. Your time is ticking down, Emperor." 

Even if she does not say it outright, it's evident that both Yifan and Luhan knew what the Empress Dowager is trying to put across, leaving only Yixing in the dark. One look at Luhan's quietly simmering expressions though, and Yixing decides not to broach the subject. It's most probably something which isn't suited for his ears.

 

\--

 

"Pardon my curiosity–" His companion starts, shattering the peaceful silence which had enveloped the room, and Yixing looks up from the tome he's been poring through, cocking his head to the side in question. "–but I would really like to know how you and the Emperor met." 

The question is one asked out of genuine interest, without even the slightest hint of malice in it, and Yixing finds himself smiling a little, albeit rather wistfully. "I might bore you with my story, for it is nothing but uninteresting, Chen." 

Even though Yixing is married to Yifan by name, he never really does find himself in Yifan's company. Rather, Yixing would spend his quiet afternoons with Chen in the national archives, going through copy after copy of the nation's rich history, considering how he would never otherwise have access to any of these materials if he were still a lowly commoner. Yixing would never say no to an opportunity to gain more knowledge, and analyse their ancestors' histories in order for the current generation to learn from their mistakes and to improve on their ideas. It's how Yixing had managed to train himself to have such a sharp mind, which in turn fuelled his desire to be a part of the government, to provide his own ideas and see his country flourish from it. He's unsure where he stands at the moment, now that he's married to the Emperor and is unlikely to be allowed into the Court's proceedings, but he's not going to give up on the opportunity regardless.

Chen, on the other hand, is godsend, with his vast knowledge of the archives which is second only to Kyungsoo's grasp of it. He is ever so patient with Yixing's almost insatiable thirst for learning, and is able to pull out the exact volume which holds the information Yixing's looking for, even with an incredibly vague description. Besides, no one would bat an eyelash at the fact that they're spending a little too much time together, considering how Yifan had decreed that Chen is to be Yixing's personal tutor for as long as Yixing needs him to be. It's a good thing Chen proves to be good company, taking Yifan's place in debating with Yixing on various topics. 

Another wistful smile pulls at Yixing's lips at the memory. Those days were the most enjoyable, when Yixing hadn't known that Yifan is the Emperor of China, and he rather wishes they could go back to those times. 

"Your smile states otherwise, Yixing." Chen says, a knowing look in his eyes. Yixing squirms a little in his seat, more over the way his name sounds on Chen's tongue. He had forbidden Chen from calling him by his official title, because it creates an invisible distance which Yixing would rather not have. For all the time he's come to know Chen, Yixing has already considered Chen to be a close friend of his in the palace, and he'd be damned if he would allow his marriage with Yifan to stand in the way. 

"It really is not, Chen." Yixing almost groans in embarrassment at the teasing lilt in Chen's voice. "We met because of my clumsiness, which His Majesty is kind enough to have overlooked, and got closer through the Academy where I had been studying at."

"But?" Chen prompts, and Yixing is coloured surprised again. He hadn't noticed that he'd allowed his words to trail off, but in that aspect, Chen pays terribly close attention to details. It's probably why he's good at what he does, even if he's close to Yixing in terms of age.

Yixing does wonder why Chen had never attempted to be a part of the policy makers with his brilliance, but it is a question that's to be filed for future use. He has all the time in the world to wile away in these four walls of the Forbidden City, after all. 

"But," Yixing says with a quiet sigh, "I am a person who is careless with his words, and I might have offended His Majesty with the way I had criticised his ruling regime and picking out all its weaknesses, without being any the wiser that he is at the top of it all." He pauses to gather his thoughts, playing with the hem of his sleeves. The silk still feels incredibly unfamiliar to the touch, even if Yixing has been dressed in them for weeks now. "I believe this marriage is a sentence of sorts, punishing me to a life of shame in a different manner." 

"And it is shameful because a man should not be married to another man?" Chen queries, but there is no heat to his words, simply one of curiosity as is with his usual questions. "Correct me if I am wrong, but there is nothing to be ashamed. Take a look at Consort Lu. He is the epitome of a capable person who is not embarrassed over his union with the Emperor, for there is nothing shameful to be in love with another person, even if they are of the same gender." 

"Still." Yixing insists, now thumbing the edges of the book in his hand. "I do not think the Emperor brought me into the palace because he feels for me, because you and I both know that his affections for Consort Lu runs deep. It must be a lesson for all the insolence I have displayed." 

Chen merely shakes his head and shrugs in defeat, a show that he does not plan on changing Yixing's opinions on the matter – not for now, at least. But it does not stop him from throwing one last comment about it. 

"I do believe that Yifan, in all his capacity as the Emperor, hasn't an ounce of cruelty in him to resort to such a thing. He is a fair man, and a good reason he must have to decree you as his consort. In time, you will see." 

Yixing drops his gaze upon the book once again, not wanting to speak any more about the matter than he already has. 

Perhaps, in time. 

 

\--

 

There's something calming about enjoying the simple pleasures of life, Luhan thinks as he walks down the familiar streets of Chang'an with Yifan by his side, their fingers brushing every now and then when they think nobody's looking. It's a sweet reminiscent of the times when they had spent most of their time thronging through the streets, discussing about the latest piece of essay or poetry the other had written, back when Luhan hadn't known that Yifan was the crown prince and he would end up becoming Yifan's Consort when Yifan would become the Emperor.

In a way, this is a piece of memory which is only shared between the two of them, and they're memories which Luhan will keep close to his heart for many years to come. No matter what he does, Luhan can't stop the satisfied smile from splitting his cheeks apart, even if he knows that Zitao and two of Yifan's Secret Guards are tailing after them from a distance that's safe enough for them to intercept should any trouble arise, yet far enough to give them the privacy that's needed. It's been a while since he'd gotten to do this with Yifan, sneaking out of the Forbidden City in commoners' clothing and just _be_ themselves. 

"Yifan, do you mind telling me where are we headed?" Luhan calls out when he can't take the suspense any longer. Yifan had proposed they'd left the palace earlier that morning, when their tense breakfast with the Empress Dowager was over and done with, and Luhan had agreed without putting in much thought. He's missed Yifan's presence so much in the last couple of weeks he had spent being apart from Yifan, and Luhan would be damned if he didn't grab every opportunity that's presented to him to have Yifan by his side. Together, against Zitao's insistent protests that it's going to put their lives in grave danger even if no one might recognise them, they'd slipped past the rest of the palace guards and found themselves breathing in the fresh spring air, away from all the customs and decorum of the palace that's about to suffocate them. 

Yifan grins at him, and Luhan finds himself falling in love all over again. Yifan makes it seem so easy. "Nowhere in particular. Is it wrong for me to want to wile the time away with you, without any specific intentions?" He asks, but Luhan knows Yifan's in his sentimental mood when they walk past yet another of their old haunts. This time, it's the tavern where Yifan had first told Luhan he loved him, albeit having been intoxicated with too much alcohol. A pleasant shudder runs down Luhan's spine when he recalls Yifan's intense gaze which had burned into him, and how their lips had met with only the candlelight as their witness. 

"No, but we will both be in trouble if anyone realises we are gone." Luhan says jokingly. He doesn't want to return to the palace if he could help it. 

His words seem to have emboldened Yifan, though, and a gasp is startled out of Luhan when Yifan suddenly laces their fingers together. Luhan's cheek pink a little at the move, especially when it catches the attention and ire from the other passerbys, but he isn't ashamed of the affection Yifan is showering upon him. 

"Bother not about them," Yifan laughs, then turns a little more serious when he holds Luhan's gaze next. "I know how upset you must be, with what my mother had said at the table."

For a moment, Luhan doesn't understand which incident Yifan's talking about, before his mind zeroes in on a particularly distasteful reminder the Empress Dowager had thrown at them, and his blood freezes. "Is this about Song Qian, and the heir of the family she has to bear?" 

Yifan's grip on his hand only grows firmer at the mere mention of Song Qian's name. "I wish I could do something about it. I do not enjoy being with her, if you must know. I do not want you to get the wrong idea." 

Despite his initial anger at the mere thought that he has to share Yifan with another person, Luhan smiles bravely, fully intending it as an encouragement to both himself and to Yifan. "I might have been upset at first, but I will learn to accept it, Yifan. If this is the sacrifice I have to make, in order for your mother to keep her promise of allowing me to stay by your side, then so be it." 

His heart swells in his chest when Yifan brings his knuckles up to his lips and presses a kiss upon it. "I loathe to think how you must suffer through this. It is not right."

"But we have no choice." Luhan tells him quietly, because it simply is the truth. In their quest to go against the norm, sacrifices were inevitable. "There will be a day when we will be able to be together without receiving backlash from the others. I believe in it." 

Yifan comes to a stop on a bridge which crosses a small stream – the place where Yifan had proposed for Luhan to return to the palace with him – and holds both of Luhan's hands in his. It still fascinates Luhan, how his hands are dwarfed by the size of Yifan's own ones, but it also signifies Yifan's promise to him, that Yifan will protect Luhan no matter what it takes. He still believes in that promise, even now. 

"Then will you stand by my side in the Court tomorrow–" Yifan asks in a quiet voice, for fear that the others will pick up on the contents of their conversation. "–and support me in my bid to instate both you and Yixing in my Court, as part of those who will help me with the building of a better nation?" 

Luhan's eyes widen at the implication behind Yifan's words. Even though Luhan has been providing his opinions on the Court, his presence has never been a constant, for fear of provoking the other ministers' anger. _The Emperor's_ hougong _has no place on the Court_ , one of the ministers have said before, but Yifan had occasionally turned a blind eye to the rule and brought Luhan along with him, especially after long nights of discussion over a new policy or a situation regarding the nation that requires urgent attention. By doing this, officially instating him and Yixing on the Court, surely there will be backlash coming from the ministers.

"Will it not provoke an uproar? Those old men will not stand for this, Yifan." Luhan tells Yifan truthfully when he remembers that his husband is still awaiting an answer. 

"I intend to make them see that you and Yixing are just as capable as them in aiding me in strengthening the nation. Even Junmyeon, in his young age, can stand as my Advisor and still command respect from the elders, and you definitely do not pale in comparison in terms of abilities." Yifan says, nothing but determination in his eyes.

It reminds Luhan of the reason why he'd fallen for Yifan in the first place, and Luhan smiles in encouragement this time, wrapping his arms around Yifan's waist and pressing his cheek against Yifan's chest. "If that is what you have decided, then I do not have any qualms in rallying my support behind you. I always have, and always will."


	22. Chapter 22

"Your Majesty–" The familiar voice of his companion who's in his chambers with him attracts Yifan's attention, and he opens his eyes from where he's seated on his bed to regard his advisor. It's an important day for all of them, particularly Yifan, for it marks the day which would either make or break his ruling regime. He has never been this nervous since the day he had announced his desire to marry Luhan before his mother and the rest of the ministers who would become his Court, and Yifan honestly wishes he doesn't have to speak right now. It feels as though his stomach is going to disagree with him at any given time, judging from how it's churning from uneasiness, and opening his mouth might just expedite the process. It won't do for the Emperor to throw up in front of his subjects, no matter that he considers Junmyeon as his friend first and foremost. 

Regardless, knowing that Junmyeon's expecting an answer, Yifan sucks in a deep breath and hopes that his body will not betray him. "I did not ask you to be here as someone I rule over, Junmyeon," he says before Junmyeon can get another word in, facial expressions disapproving, intonation not so. 

Junmyeon smiles softly at the way Yifan had reprimanded him. He's about to dip his head in acquiescence before he remembers what Yifan had just said and stops himself just in time, opting to take a seat at the table in Yifan's chambers instead. It's where they'd spent many days and nights deliberating over policies they want to see implemented, when they've gotten sick of the four walls and stuffy environment of Yifan's study. Sometimes, Luhan would join them, and it would be the most productive time of their discussions, for Luhan would not tolerate them slacking off just because he's around. Yifan has long since learned not to get distracted by the paleness of Luhan's wrist whenever he's engaging in official matters. There's always time for private and formal affairs, after all, a concept which Luhan had made sure to instil in him, afraid that Yifan would be criticised for not knowing where his priorities lie. 

"Are you sure you want me here, Yifan?" Junmyeon finally asks. It's not as though Yifan doesn't know what's been on Junmyeon's mind; he's seen the questioning look in Junmyeon's eyes when he'd first set foot in Yifan's chambers, having been summoned there the first thing in the morning. Yifan doesn't think Junmyeon understands how important he actually is in Yifan's life, or the impact he's made on it. 

Junmyeon's the first person who had unwittingly taught Yifan the value of friendship, despite being in confined within these treacherous walls of the Forbidden City. 

"And just why not?" Yifan questions, smiling back at Junmyeon. "You are my advisor and my friend. I cannot think of a better candidate to be here with me this morning." 

"I do hope you have not forgotten that you have Luhan, and I am sure his position in your life is far more valuable and significant than mine will ever be." Junmyeon teases, a trait which would surface once in a blue moon when Junmyeon's relaxed enough to shed his usually uptight façade. "He must be able to calm you down better than I." 

The earnesty in Junmyeon's words makes Yifan laugh. "I am sorry if what I say will provide you with unsavoury images, but I am afraid Luhan's presence will merely rile me up in a different way. Besides, I am not the only one who needs to clear my mind before the eventual announcement." 

It takes several beats of silence before Junmyeon's cheeks are dusted pink from embarrassment, when he finally gets what Yifan's trying to say. Yifan holds his laughter in, not wanting to make the situation more awkward than it already is for Junmyeon. Yifan has no problems in discussing his intimate life, but he also knows that not everyone is open enough to speak of the same things with him. To each their own, really. 

In a desperate attempt to change the topic, Junmyeon clears his throat several times before he speaks again. "Have you really thought this over thoroughly, Yifan? Even if I might understand the rationale of your decision, you know the ministers will not stand for your two Consorts dabbling in national matters." 

Yifan shrugs and gets up from where he's seated, ambling towards the mirror to fix his outfit. The time is drawing close, and it will not do for his ministers to see even the slightest wrinkling of his robes. The Emperor must only be seen in his utmost perfect condition, and nothing less. Only then will he command the respect of his subjects. It's a mantra which has been ingrained in him since he was young, by none other than his own mother. 

"I believe–" Yifan says, and exhales all the burden he's feeling at the moment, hoping it will stay that way. Then, with the surest voice he can muster, he continues, "–that it is high time for certain changes to be made to the Court. We cannot live in the past forever, and only if changes are made will the country progress forth. Fools we will be if Luhan and Yixing are not allowed to speak in the Court and discuss on matters related to the nation, for their ideas are fresh and definitely noteworthy. I am not defending their abilities due to sheer biasness, and you know better than anyone else that this is true, especially with regards to Luhan." Yifan turns to regard Junmyeon with a smile. "Do you not think so, my friend?" 

Junmyeon crosses his right arm over his chest, a sign that Yifan has his utmost loyalty, but the friendly smile that he shoots at Yifan when he glances up doesn't go unnoticed. "Indeed, my dear friend. I can only hope, for your sake, that your ministers will see the wisdom behind your decision – eventually, if not now."

When the temple bells finally starts chiming, Yifan puffs up his chest and prepares himself for the upcoming battle. It's time to face the wrath of his Court. 

 

\--

 

Luhan curls his fingers into the flesh of his palm, but keeps his arm rested on the windowsill as he continues to submerge himself in his thoughts. He's been up rather early that morning, unable to sleep through the nervousness that's biting at him, something which is uncharacteristic where Luhan is concerned. Luhan has always been level-headed and collected, no matter the situation, and he doesn't like the current situation, not one bit. 

The late Spring scenery outside his window is deceptively calm, considering the storm that is about to loom upon them in the Court. 

In the end, Luhan sighs and rests his chin on his outstretched arm, ignoring the tingling sensation he feels in his fingertips from the poor circulation. He can't help but wonder what Yifan is doing at the moment, if he's as anxious as Luhan is, if Yifan has told Yixing about his decision to instate both of them in the Court. Yifan had told Luhan he'll meet Luhan on the Court before they'd parted ways the night before, instructing Luhan to act as natural as he possibly can when Yifan finaly makes his proclamation before his ministers. It's not as though Luhan doesn't understand the rationale behind Yifan's request – if Luhan pretends that he doesn't have an inkling about Yifan's decision, the less likely the ministers will be able to accuse Luhan of _poisoning_ the Emperor's mind with ridiculous notions. Luhan's a witch in their eyes, for having _seduced_ Yifan into instating him as Consort and effectively depriving China of a rightful Empress and essentially an official heir to the throne, and it's highly unlikely that they'll change their mindsets any time soon.

Ridiculous, how a bunch of men who are supposedly highly educated can be so superstitious and unwilling to accept that everyone has their own preferences, regardless if they deviate from the norm. 

Luhan stirs from where he's perched upon when Kai appears in his peripheral vision, and he barely holds back a sigh when the younger man refuses to look him in the eye. It's been like this ever since the incident in Yifan's chambers, where Luhan had very nearly succumbed to temptation and had allowed Jongin to wrap his lips around his cock, and Luhan isn't sure if Kai is being this way because he's ashamed of what he's done, or if he resents Luhan for not giving him a chance, continuing to pine for a man who has wedded another instead. He doesn't think Kai will ever come to understand what it truly means to be in love with someone else, and Luhan feels plenty guilty for being the one who has deprived Kai of that opportunity. 

"What is it, Kai?" He asks, not _Jongin_ as the name had been on his tongue mere seconds ago, because it will give Jongin false hope. It's not as though he doesn't care for Jongin; Luhan _does_ , just not in the way Jongin had hoped he would. 

"The time has come, Master." Kai informs. "When the proclamation is finally made, you will wield the power to dictate how the nation should be run. It is a precursor for what we have been waiting for all this while. Your father and your ancestors will all be proud when you–" 

The agitation swarms up and consumes Luhan within seconds, and he slams his hand against the windowsill to stop Kai from saying anything else. "Speak not of that aloud, Kai. If anyone else overhears you, I may very well be executed for treason." He says, even though he can see the defiance in Kai's sharp eyes. He knows this is what's expected of him, but Luhan begins to wonder if the hatred from long ago can end with him, if bygones can be bygones. He doesn't say this out loud, though, knowing Kai will object to his thoughts. He's too blindly loyal for his own good. 

"Yes, Master." Kai acquiesces in the end, the reluctance fully palpable in the air. Luhan can't care less, though; the temple bells which marks the beginning of the day – and by extension, the start of the week's Court procession – is already being sounded, and he has to make his way to the Great Hall soon. 

With one final look in the mirror to ensure that he's completely presentable, Luhan steps out of his chambers with confident strides, letting the train of his finest robe trail after him. 

 

\--

 

"Absolutely not!" The first bark of objection – from his Prime Minister, no less – echoes in the hall, much to Yifan's chagrin. It's not as though he hadn't expected this, but he'd held on to the foolish hope that they'd take a little longer to consider his proposition before lambasting him with their objections. "Consorts of the Emperor have never been allowed to give input on the Court, and we have bent the rules many times for Consort Lu to be considered appropriate. To officially instate them as a part of the Court – this is absolutely unacceptable!" 

Beside him, Luhan is the face of calmness, though he's holding Yifan's hand beneath the table, squeezing it in silent encouragement. On his other side, Yixing looks absolutely shell-shocked by the announcement, not having expected that Yifan would provide him with an opportunity to speak his mind on the Court, not after he'd failed the Imperial Examinations. The Empress Dowager, on the other hand, appears completely pale, and she's probably too livid to say something about Yifan's bold decision.

Either way, Yifan isn't going to back down. 

"Please, hear me out." Yifan speaks up above the murmur of the crowd, hoping that his voice is firm enough to command confidence. "I have thought about this for a long time coming, and I believe both Consort Lu and Consort Zhang have the capability to provide valuable opinions on our policies and contingency plans. We all know that our nation's economy has not been as strong as it had been in the past years, and I have heard Consort Zhang's suggestions on the matter. Would it not be good if they could provide opinions and we debate upon them to make these opinions better?"

"They are your _Consorts_ , Your Majesty! Consorts are meant to pleasure, not to sit on the Court or run the country with you!" Another minister shouts, and Yifan can already feel the irritation rising within him. Their words reflect those who are ignorant, and those who have no basic respect for the Emperor's _hougong_. Luhan's grip on his hand suddenly grows firm, almost to painful extent even, a sure sign that he's offended by that minister's words. There is nothing more derogatory to Luhan than being likened to the role of a comfort woman. 

With the calmest voice he can muster, Yifan says evenly, "And do you dare say Luhan has not provided enough help to the ruling regime?" Immediately the Court quiets down, because no one can refute his words, no matter how much they want to. "Yes, I understand that in the past, members of the Emperor's _hougong_ are not allowed to sit in on their weekly meetings with their ministers, because of several unfortunate instances where concubines in the past have singlehandedly destroyed the throne and respectful dynasties. But things are different now. Both Consort Lu and Consort Zhang are well-learnt, and do not bear a heart of greed to usurp the throne. Why can we not give them the opportunity to prove themselves, and if time proves them incapable of helping the nation, then I will personally ban them from ever setting foot in this sacred Hall again." 

To his surprise, the Empress Dowager is the first to respond to his proclamation. "Does that go to say you will not backtrack on your decision to instate both your consorts in the Court?" 

Yifan turns a little in his throne and regards his mother with the most serious gaze he has. "Yes, Mother. I believe it is time for some changes to be implemented." 

"Then do as you please." His mother states succinctly, stirring up another intense round of murmurs from the ministers. With the word from the Empress Dowager, though, it effectively bars any further objections from being made, as she is considered the senior-most person in the Hall to make a decision. "But make no mistake – if any of them steps out of line, I _will_ remove them without further warning." 

It's a stern warning, and Yifan doesn't doubt that his mother had meant that she will send his Consorts to the gallows at once. He can only cross his fingers and hope that they will not come to that point in time.


	23. Chapter 23

"What is the meaning of this?" Yixing huffs as he hurries after Yifan out of the Great Hall the moment the Court is dismissed, wanting nothing but to clarify Yifan's intentions. He knows that if he lets the opportunity slip out of his fingers this time, then he'll never get another chance. Yifan can be extremely slippery if he wants to. "Your Majesty, I demand an explanation!" 

Yixing had been in a daze ever since Yifan had announced to the Court that both him and Luhan will be granted the status to formally speak up in Court meetings and offer their opinions on national matters, a decree which comes as a huge shock to everyone who had been present in the Great Hall earlier – including Yixing himself. Short as his stay may have been in the Forbidden City, Yixing has gone through enough volumes of China's history to know that this is an unprecedented move. The Emperor's _hougong_ has never been allowed to meddle in matters related to the country's governance, an iron rule which had been put in place for purpose of check and balance, to prevent the concubines from having more authority than they should with their ranks. And right now, while the nation is still struggling to overcome economic downturn and the string of natural disasters which have been dampening restoration works from being carried out completely, Yifan actually comes up with a suggestion like _this_?

While this is what Yixing has always dreamt of – an opportunity to provide his feedback and ideas to improve the nation – he has never, in his wildest dreams, imagined that he had to achieve it in such a manner. He shudders involuntarily at the memory of the intense gazes which had been fixed upon him the moment the decree had been made, from the Empress Dowager and the ministers alike. He knows what must be on their minds – Zhang Yixing is a sly commoner who must have convinced the Emperor to give him a slice of the ruling pie, when it truly isn't a part of his intentions. 

Yixing _still_ doesn't think anyone would buy his words if he told them that he's the unwilling party in this matrimony to Yifan, and this incident has singlehandedly crushed whatever opportunity he has to convince them of his innocence. 

Beside Yifan, Luhan is a picture of utmost calmness and grace, his robes still hanging perfectly on his shoulders despite the pace he's walking at. He doesn't seem as perturbed by Yifan's decree as Yixing is, which makes him feel a little suspicious. Could he possibly have learnt about Yifan's plans before the Court went into session today? And if he did, Yixing wouldn't be surprised either. Luhan seems to have been sitting in the Court very frequently, judging by what the ministers had said about Luhan being allowed to voice his opinions far too much to be appropriate. 

What exactly is Luhan planning? 

"Yixing _didi_ ," Luhan speaks up just then, as if picking up on Yixing's thoughts, and Yixing is rather inclined to gag at the saccharine sweetness of the title. Since when did Luhan start addressing him by such intimate nicknames, anyway? "It would be proper for you to mind your image before the servants. It is unsightly for you to appear so dishevelled." 

Yixing can feel the heat enveloping his ears almost instantly at the reminder, and his cheeks grow even warmer when he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the pond they're passing by. Indeed, Yixing looks like a mess at this particular moment, the light in his eyes frantic and confused, and the silk throwover which he'd put on that morning because it was much too cold is slipping off the slope of his shoulder. Chen would be extremely disappointed in him if he ever had the opportunity to witness the state Yixing is in now, and it's with that thought that Yixing scrambled to pull himself back together again.

Royals aren't supposed to appear any less than perfect. 

"My apologies," Yixing mumbles at Luhan, who never once throws a glance at him, but he steels himself and gathers the scraps of his confidence soon enough. "But Your Majesty, please, I deserve to know what your plans are. You cannot possibly announce something massive without preempt and expect me to understand the rationale behind your decision." 

Yifan, who'd kept mum about Yixing and Luhan's exchange earlier, finally responds after repeated prompting from Yixing. "Luhan, I will see you later," he first turns to Luhan, who nods in acquiescence and splits away from the entourage with his servants without further protest, but not without first making his displeasure over Yixing's insolence known with the narrowing of his eyes. Yixing swallows, just as Yifan dismisses the rest of their servants, and when Yifan finally turns to regard him, the conflict and irritation is barely concealed in his gaze. "You, follow me." 

Knowing he's in no position to ignore the Emperor's orders, Yixing swallows harder and obeys Yifan's words. It's at such a time that he notices the drastic difference between himself and Yifan – Yifan is ever so regal, carrying himself with utmost confidence and authority, while Yixing will still reflect the ghost of his past self, as a lowly commoner who's ill-fitted for a life in the palace – and Yixing wonders how had it been possible for them to be friends. Yixing wants to laugh; who is he kidding, really, when Yifan has always been playing him for a fool. Whatever respect he had nurtured for Yifan on their wedding night is fast melting away again, and Yixing can't exactly say he's sorry, not when Yifan hasn't exerted any form of effort to convince Yixing that he's acting in Yixing's best interests. 

While Yixing understands that heading to his chambers is the most logical course of action, considering the fact that it's the closest to them, he's taken by surprise when Yifan suddenly slams the door shut behind them and corners Yixing against the wall, his arms braced on either side of Yixing and trapping him there. It's only then that Yixing realises exactly how much Yifan towers over him, and he can almost taste the _longjing cha_ in Yifan's breath that's fanning across his cheeks. Yixing makes the mistake of looking up, and his throat seizes at how close Yifan's lips are to his, bringing up the memories of his well-concealed desire to press his own lips against them in the past. 

He doesn't ever want to admit that he's attracted to Yifan, not when he's being treated like he doesn't matter, like he's nothing more than a plaything for Yifan's – and, to a certain extent, Luhan's – amusement. 

"Tell me, Yixing." Yifan's voice comes out in a low growl, and Yixing's skin crawls from the timbre. "Is this not what you have wanted, to voice your opinions in the Court and to change the country?" 

Yixing gulps at the reminder. He thought Yifan had forgotten all about it, but apparently not. "I– This is not the way I wanted things to play out." He wishes Yifan would back off a little; the lack of proximity between them is making his head spin.

"You are in no position to bargain. Was it not your final attempt at the Imperial Examinations before your parents wanted you to settle down? And you were so confident in criticising my rule, too." Yifan reminds him, and Yixing hates that he's right, resents himself for having told Yifan that when Yifan was still _Jiaheng_. 

Still, Yixing is defiant. He absolutely refuses to be seen as a weakling before Yifan's eyes, and he's promised himself at least that much. "Then what do you expect me to do, Yifan? You cannot possibly be thinking that I would be able to wrap my head around the matter the moment you drop it on us."

"This is a challenge, Yixing – a challenge that neither you nor I can afford to back down from. Either you go out there and convince the Court that you are completely capable of rivalling them in improving the nation, or you will face the Empress Dowager's wrath. You _heard_ her, and I would suggest that you start taking her warnings seriously." Yifan says, and without another word, he leaves Yixing behind in his chambers, along with a whole new burden on Yixing's shoulders.

It's with great difficulty that Yixing manages to drag his exhausted body all the way to the table located in the middle of his room, and he rests heavily upon the stool, the tips of his fingers cold from the iciness in Yifan's intonation just moments ago. He still thinks it's incredibly unfair for Yifan to make such a hefty decision on his behalf, especially when Yixing hadn't expected for himself to land in such a role. To make matters worse, his _life_ is on the line, and there's no saying how small a mistake can cost him an early trip to hell. Yixing is not Luhan; he isn't sure if Yifan would go through all lengths to ensure that Yixing's head won't be lobbed off by the Empress Dowager before Yifan even catches wind of his execution – if it ever happens.

Yixing buries his head in his arms when the headache grows far too painful to endure, and for the first time since he has set foot in the palace, he sheds a tear. 

 

\--

 

"Consort Zhang doesn't seem to be taking your declaration too kindly, Your Majesty." 

The statement has Yifan looking up from the scroll he's poring over, eyebrows raised in surprise at the person who's in the study with him. He'd expected his advisor Junmyeon, or even Zitao to have made such a comment, but never in his wildest dreams would Yifan ever see Park Jungsoo setting foot in his study when he hasn't been summoned. Yifan holds great respect for the man, considering the fact that Jungsoo had been his tutor once upon a time, when Yifan had been very young and Jungsoo was the youngest person ever to be promoted to a position in the royal family by the then Emperor. Jungsoo is possibly the only person from Yifan's father's reign who throws his unconditional support behind Yifan, having been the one who's seen enough of Yifan through the years to _know_ that Yifan always, _always_ puts the nation before his own interests. However, the fact also remains that Jungsoo would always maintain a respectful distance from Yifan, and is hardly the sort of person who'd pay a private visit to Yifan's study on his own accord. 

While Yifan knows that Jungsoo dotes over Yixing a lot ever since he's been assigned to provide Yixing with the essential knowledge to help him survive through palace life, he didn't think Jungsoo would jump to his defense so soon. Yixing is really something. 

Yifan flashes a wry smile at Jungsoo and puts down his writing brush. "It has been a while since we had a proper chat, _laoshi_. Are you absolutely sure you want to give me a lecture before we catch up on each other's lives?" He tries to jest, more for his own benefit than anything else. He's already stressed out enough from the nation's affairs as it stands, and it won't do if he lost control of his temper now. 

Jungsoo's smile only grows wider, and it's a firm reassurance that talking is the only thing on his mind at this particular moment. Yifan can't feel more thankful. "This humble servant is merely pointing out an innocent observation, Your Majesty."

"But you are also curious about my decision, are you not?" Yifan prompts. It startles a high-pitched laugh – a side which only Yifan and the people closest to Jungsoo are privy to, a sure sign that he's been caught – out of Jungsoo just as he moves to sit across Yifan. 

"Myself, and everyone else in the Forbidden City." Jungsoo concedes, but his expressions grow concerned almost immediately. "The Empress Dowager is not one to make empty threats, Your Majesty. I am sure you know that. You are putting your Consorts in grave danger by making such a move to overthrow tradition." 

A sigh escapes Yifan's lips. "Do you, even for a moment, believe that I have not paused to consider that?" He questions, and the way Jungsoo's looking at him with a gaze that doesn't betray his thoughts unsettles Yifan somewhat. "I have laid out my options with Luhan, and he knows what he will have to face in the long run."

"And Consort Zhang?" Jungsoo asks thoughtfully. Yifan doesn't like it when Jungsoo tries to make him reflect upon the things he's done with question after question, because he _knows_ he'll end up feeling terribly guilty by the end of it. And Yifan already feels plenty guilty as it is. "Pardon this humble servant if I am wrong, but Consort Zhang has not been informed regarding your decision before you had announced it to the Court." 

Yifan rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, and exhales. "Indeed, he has not. I know it is not fair for him, but there is no other way for things to unfurl." 

"Because he will object to your decision before you can even set it in motion?" Jungsoo prompts again, and Yifan's reminded of how afraid he is about the things that go through Jungsoo's mind. He's extremely perceptive, and it's almost impossible to hide anything from him. 

"Yes. Your mind is too brilliant sometimes, _laoshi_." Yifan concedes, the wry smile never losing its edge. 

Again Jungsoo chuckles at Yifan's words. "Only because you allow me to read into you, Your Majesty. But I am speaking up on Consort Zhang's behalf, because I cannot bear the sight of him anguishing over this. It is too heavy a burden to charge him with, when it hasn't even been a month since he has become the Consort." 

It's not as though Yifan's oblivious to how upset Yixing is over the matter; he'd made his thoughts known to Yifan on the very morning Yifan had made the decree, and Yifan is still trying to search for ways to apologise for being harsh to Yixing. Yifan's brain-mouth filter has been failing spectacularly as of late, and the amount of times he's wronged Yixing is only growing by the day. He wonders if he'll ever be able to repay his debts to Yixing. "I will not abandon him to deal with the demons in the dark alone, _laoshi_. I have made a personal vow to protect Yixing from the cruelty of the ministers and the Empress Dowager, however I can. I made such a decree because I believe in his abilities. I am sure you agree with me." 

"He is a brilliant man, indeed," Jungsoo acquiesces, "but not everyone has the capacity to handle the scrutiny of this many people who are all important to the nation, let alone to provide ideas which will benefit everyone in the long run without drawing flak from the others. Yixing is not Luhan." 

The corner of Yifan's mouth curls a little in thought. "I know that, too, but the deed has been done. All I can hope is for Yixing to forgive me eventually, and that he will rise to the occasion." He then turns to hold Jungsoo's gaze, hoping that he would be able to sense Yifan's sincerity. " _Laoshi_ , I know this might be too much to ask of you, but I am counting on you to help Yixing out on my behalf." 

He knows he can breathe a little easier when Jungsoo cracks into a warm smile, and pats Yifan's hand reassuringly. "Consider that done, Your Majesty." 

 

\--

 

"You seem very distracted lately, Yifan. Do you want to talk about it?" Luhan says as he kneads at Yifan's shoulders, and he frowns at the stiffness of his muscles, a telltale sign that Yifan has been stressing himself out a lot more than he should. 

It's not as though Luhan doesn't understand the circumstances on the Court, though; the ministers are mostly still up in arms over Yifan's bending of the rules to allow him and Yixing to sit on the Court, and it's been terribly difficult to communicate with them. He can't care less if the ministers are being hostile towards him or Yixing, but to see Yifan suffering in the process is something Luhan can't stomach. They may proclaim that their loyalty lies with the Emperor, but nothing in their actions reflect their words. 

He rather wishes Yifan isn't bogged down with the responsibilities to the throne. Then maybe they could have lived a far simpler life, away from the backstabbing and darkness brooding in the Forbidden City. Maybe they could be happier. 

"You know what has been bothering me," Yifan looks up and flashes a small smile at him, and Luhan's taken by surprise when Yifan suddenly pulls him down to sit in his lap. "I am starting to think that this is all a mistake. You are all suffering too much–"

Luhan frowns and presses a finger against Yifan's lips to stop him from saying anything else. "One must have the courage to initiate change before anything else can follow. You told me that." He says, eyeing Yifan disapprovingly. "I am not fragile. I can handle these old men on my own." 

"I know you're not," Yifan sighs, and when he presses his forehead against Luhan's, Luhan instantly realises why exactly Yifan is being so fretful. Indeed, his suspicions are confirmed not moments later. "You have always been able to stand your ground in the palace, but Yixing is different. He has not had as much practice as you did in the past." 

Luhan's insides twist in such a way that reminds him of intense jealousy, and he _hates_ feeling that way. Yifan isn't supposed to be this concerned about Yixing, and the new Consort isn't supposed to pose as a threat anymore. Unless... Unless Yifan had been lying to him when he said he didn't like Yixing that way. Luhan will never know for sure; not now, and it makes his stomach churn again. 

"Then he will need the experience even more." Luhan insists. If he had felt even remotely sorry for Yixing, that feeling is all but gone now. "Everyone will have to start from somewhere." 

"But–" 

Not wanting Yifan to fret even more over the matter during their time alone, Luhan sighs and wraps his arms around Yifan's neck to distract him, allowing their noses to brush against each other's. "You are thinking too much over the matter, Yifan." He chastises, and plants a chaste kiss on Yifan's lips. "Only time will tell if he will survive through the scrutiny, but for now, _you_ need to rest." 

It's a good thing Yifan surrenders to Luhan's wishes fairly easily, and he soon finds himself rocking down on Yifan's hips, but the issue surrounding their official instatement to the Court never really leaves Luhan's mind, even when Yifan's mapping Luhan's skin with his lips. He knows he will have to fight hard to stay afloat – both in the Court, and to keep his position as the Emperor's main Consort intact. He will _not_ lose his place to Zhang Yixing. Not now, and certainly not ever.


	24. Chapter 24

"Your Majesty, pardon this humble servant for her insolence, but you seem to have a lot on your mind," a female voice speaks up from behind him, and Yifan's eyes are wide open in an instant, startled out of his thoughts by those words. 

In the next moment, though, he's submerged in a state of complete confusion when he feels the pads of someone's fingers – someone who _isn't_ Luhan – dragging across his bare skin, unable to recall how he's gotten himself into this situation. His pulse races in alarm, and Yifan's about to call for the palace guards to haul the intruder out of his room, when he remembers with a start exactly what day it is. He has, after all, found himself trapped in an agreement he can't pull himself out of, ever since he'd made the announcement that he's marrying Yixing – the agreement to beget the heir to the Dragon's Throne with the concubine of the Empress Dowager's choice. 

It's only then that Yifan forces himself to relax, hoping that Song Qian hadn't noticed the tenseness in his muscles. The water he's submerged in is cooling down from the amount of time he's spent being in it, and a shudder runs down the length of his spine when Song Qian gently wipes his sweat-slicked body down with a cloth. 

Yifan usually doesn't allow such moments of intimacy between him and Song Qian, preferring to keep the relationship between them strictly to fulfil his mother's wishes and nothing else. They've talked about this before, on the first day Yifan had touched another person who isn't Luhan, and had made sure Song Qian understood that their relationship will never develop into anything more than a concubine and an Emperor's. Song Qian has been cooperating well with him for the most part, but Yifan isn't blind to the way she looks at him with yearning, as though she really is in love with him. The softness in her gaze has always been apparent to him, ever since they were children and Song Qian had spent a lot of time in Yifan's presence. Being the daughter of his father's Prime Minister, it's only natural that the then Emperor wanted for them to be wed when they became adults, for her status is more than enough to match up to Crown Prince Yifan's. 

In a perfect world – the one which the Empress Dowager greatly wants – Song Qian would be his Empress, and they would be ruling over China hand in hand, trying for an heir at their own pace. But this is not the world his mother had envisioned, and Yifan has no plans in making it as such. It's also one of the few reasons why the Prime Minister antagonises Yifan with every chance he gets; it's no secret that he isn't pleased with the way Yifan has made Luhan his Consort, and refuses to have Song Qian as his Empress. 

Yifan can only wonder if he knows the value of love, and how it can blind to even the most intelligent of souls. You can't choose who your heart decides to love and devote itself to.

This day is an exception to the rule, though, for Yifan had been plagued with a terrible headache the moment he came down from his orgasm high, owing to his lack of sleep from the night before. Song Qian is stubborn enough to defy their standing agreement that she should leave once they have copulated, insisting that she can't possibly leave him alone when he's in so much pain. Feeling much too weak to protest, Yifan finally gave in to her request, allowing Song Qian to call for the palace maids to draw him a warm bath. 

Even now, Yifan is acutely aware of the state of undress Song Qian is in, the sheer silk drape on her back doing little to conceal what's beneath, her nipples brushing against the skin on his back with every movement she makes. It's a good thing his heart doesn't beat any faster; at least he knows where his loyalties lie. Luhan would not be pleased if Yifan were to have a bodily response to Song Qian than absolutely necessary; he's already unhappy enough with Yifan's marriage with Yixing, even though he's toned down on showing his displeasure outwardly. Yifan doesn't think he'll ever be able to make up to the disappointment he's made Luhan go through, but the least he can do now is to keep everything else at a bare minimum. Song Qian, however, is someone Yifan can't cut out of his life, no matter how desperately he wants to do so. 

"Your Majesty?" Song Qian says again, and Yifan remembers belatedly that she's been waiting for an answer. 

He sighs, however, not knowing where he should even begin, but his heart goes on autopilot and rattles off on its own. 

"How do you show someone that you truly care for them?"

His cheeks are warm when he realises what he's said, but the contemplative hum coming from Song Qian tells Yifan that she probably knows the answer. "Are you referring to Consort Lu, or Consort Zhang, Your Majesty?" 

Again Yifan winces. It's obvious to him, now, who's been on his mind all this time, even if he might not necessarily admit to it aloud. Then again, Yifan has always felt guilt-ridden towards Yixing, from the sheer amount of times he's raised his voice at Yixing after he'd stepped into the palace. He knows he's being unfair to Yixing, but controlling his temper has always been a persistent problem as far as Yifan is concerned. _You have too much fire in your personality_ , Jungsoo had told him once, and Yifan wonders if it isn't true. 

When Yifan stays silent, Song Qian takes it upon herself to answer him. She has always been a bold woman, after all. "No matter how angry you are, Your Majesty, remember to always take the other party's feelings into consideration." She says quietly, causing Yifan to chew on his bottom lip in guilt. As if he doesn't already know that. "You are an observant person, Your Majesty. I am sure you know what will truly make that person happy. There is no need for lavish gifts. Sometimes, a small gesture is more than enough reassurance." 

"Do you really think so?" Yifan wonders aloud, staring blankly ahead of him as he allows Song Qian's words to sink in. His mind is soon fast at work, combing through his memories and dredging up the happier times he's been fortunate enough to have. 

Song Qian's fingers on his skin is still impossibly soft, but firm in its resolution when she says, "I _know_ so, Your Majesty." 

 

\--

 

He holds up the dagger in his hands at eye-level, scrutinising the carvings on its handle as though the pattern hasn't already become a permanent imprint on his mind. Gently, he traces the engraving on the weapon with the pad of his index finger, letting each bump and dip graze his skin. His nerve ends tingle with every touch of the majestic Dragon's scale – a symbol particular only to the Ruler of China – and he feels somewhat mocked that he should possess it, when he's no more than a Consort to the Emperor. 

Being careful not to slice his own skin open, Luhan slowly pulls the dagger out of its equally ornate scabbard, gaze emotionless as his eyes sweep across the silver that forms the blade. It's a weapon which has been in his possession from the moment he has come of age, given to him by his father who had died several weeks after. Luhan remembers how his eyes had grown wide at the mere sight of the Dragon on its handle, feeling rather panicked because anyone who isn't the Emperor will be killed for treason for brandishing the symbol that's supposed to be unique only to the Emperor of China. His father, however, had silenced him with a bark, telling Luhan that he is worth every fibre of the dagger's being, that it's a family heirloom which has accompanied the Lu family for centuries and will continue to serve its place by Luhan's side for years to come. 

Luhan never really understood what his father had meant by that. It's not until very much later that Luhan learns of the truth from his mother, and his life has never been the same since. 

He gaze flickers up from the dagger to the figure who joins him in his chambers, making no move to conceal the weapon from sight. It is, after all, only Kai, who has seen Luhan toy around with the dagger for years. There's a sense of awe and surprise that is barely hidden on Kai's expressions, something which is rare in its essence, because Kai has never been one to let his emotions swim to the surface, raw and for everyone to behold. _It makes me seem vulnerable_ , Kai has told him once, and yet. 

"I have not seen you with that in a long while, Master," Kai points out, and Luhan exhales quietly when he adds, "I thought you might have forgotten about it." _Forgotten about your roots, and who you are_ , his words seem to imply, but Luhan is determined not to let them get to him. He's above getting irritated over the simplest of comments, and his late father will not be pleased with him, after all the strict upbringing Luhan has been subjected to. 

_Carry yourself with utmost grace, one that is befitting of a ruler, but never hesitate to be cruel when the need arises_ , Luhan's mother had told him once. He likes to think that their advices are never far from his mind, even if his conduct towards Yixing as of late might state otherwise. Still. 

"It has always been by my side, Kai. I am sure you know that." Luhan maintains. It's the truth; the dagger has always been kept well-hidden beneath the many layers of Luhan's robes, accompanying him all the time. Even if Yifan's guards might extend their protection to him, one can never be too careful in the palace, where there are always those who are ever ready to pounce on you from the shadows. It's the exact reason why Luhan portrays himself to be someone who's seemingly weak and helpless on the outside. No one needs to know what he's hiding up his sleeves – both literally and metaphorically. 

Kai averts his gaze and mutters under his breath. "Your actions betray your words, Master. It appears to me that you have forgotten what you are meant to do." 

Again, Luhan inhales sharply and exhales through his teeth. Patience seems to be a virtue that's fast escaping him. "Is there a reason why you are antagonising me with every chance you get, Kai?" He queries, half in annoyance and half in pure curiosity. Kai hasn't been acting his part as the docile servant who doesn't question Luhan's actions as of late, not since the day Luhan had rejected his offer to provide Luhan with sexual favours. Still, Luhan stands by his decision; he doesn't want to lead Jongin into a state of fallacy that they will have a future together. 

They both know it is but a futile thought, though in a sense Luhan is more realistic than Kai will ever be. 

Kai immediately goes down on a knee and bows his head in apology. It isn't what Luhan seeks from him, but he doesn't bother mentioning it. It's better for Kai to perceive that Luhan has been angered. At least it will keep him in line for a little longer. 

Even though he can almost taste the fear of losing Kai one day owing to his foolishness, but Luhan stops himself short from dwelling on the matter. He will do everything within his means to keep Kai by his side – if only because Kai doesn't know of a life outside one of servitude to the Lu family. Kai will be akin to a lost lamb if he were to roam the world alone. 

"My deepest apologies, Master. I have gotten ahead of myself." Kai says. Luhan doesn't point out that there isn't even the slightest hint that Kai truly regrets his words in the way he says it, as though it's nothing more than rehearsed speech. It's emotionally and mentally taxing to be in a cold war with someone who's this close to him, second only to his argument with Yifan several weeks ago. 

"Rise." Luhan orders, feeling a little thankful that Kai is still obeying him at the very least. "I do not wish to hear constant reminders of what I should and should not be doing. I am well aware of my responsibilities, but the time is not yet ripe for me to take action."

Luhan isn't sure if Kai truly believes in his words when the latter bows with an arm crossed before his chest, but he can only hope. For now, however, there is nothing Luhan can do but to stall for as long as he can.

He wonders if his ancestors will be scorned, should he step out of the mould he's been brought up in.

 

\--

 

No matter how much he convinces himself that this scenario is perfectly normal in the eyes of others, Yixing still can't help himself from fidgeting around in his silk robes, tugging awkwardly at the ends of his sleeves. The weather has just begun to turn even warmer, with the days fast approaching summertime, but a chill still lingers in the air, making Yixing shudder despite the fact that he's dressed in robes which are much thicker than anything he has ever possessed back when he was still a commoner. 

He surmises it must have something to do with the fact that he's currently walking beside Yifan, who's flanked by Luhan on his other side. It's the first time all three of them are gathered together outside the Imperial Hall, after Yifan's decree that both Luhan and Yixing are to be officially instated as part of the Court. While the trio have always appeared on the Court together, Yixing would always excuse himself immediately after, citing that he has to attend lessons with Chen in the Archives. It's not always a lie; Chen has always been more than happy to indulge Yixing with his neverending curiosity about the Forbidden City and the secrets which are privy only to the nobles and ministers who can set foot within the palace grounds. Sometimes, when Chen is preoccupied with his own affairs, Yixing would hide himself in his chambers, preferring to while away his time in solitude. It is, after all, quieter and less risky that way. 

This day is different, though. Yifan had insisted for Yixing to join him and Luhan for a walk around the palace after their weekly meeting with the ministers, leaving Yixing no room to decline because Yifan had asked in full view of their subjects. Even if Yixing's extremely reluctant to do so, he isn't oblivious to the fact that it's considered disrespect of the highest order if he had cooked up an excuse to get himself out of the situation – one which is tantamount to treason, if the ministers put their minds to it. 

Then again, if they should spend their stroll around the palace grounds in silence, perhaps Yixing will not mind it. It's a great opportunity for him to discover more of the Forbidden City, considering the fact that Yifan is taking them through lesser-travelled routes. At least it allows Yixing to immerse himself in his own thoughts, instead of rummaging through his brain trying to come up with small talk. Heaven knows Yixing is terrible with idle conversation; it's a wonder how he'd gotten off so well with Yifan in the first place, but it's something Yixing would rather not think about at this point of time. 

Nevertheless, Yixing hadn't expected that he'd be the one to break the comfortable silence between them, when a calligraphic art hung up outside a building they were passing by catches his attention. Yixing considers himself to be a calligraphic enthusiast, and can recognise the works of most calligraphers, but the style of this particular piece isn't one that's familiar to him. 

"This–" The word is out of his mouth before Yixing can even stop himself, and his cheeks flushes warmly when Yifan pauses in his step and looks at him expectantly, _patiently_. Beside Yifan, Luhan has also stopped to see what Yixing has to say, and Yixing wonders if he's imagining the coldness in Luhan's gaze. He represses another shudder and ploughs on. "–may I know who was the master who created this piece?" And, after a short pause and a brief look down the rest of the corridor, Yixing adds, "And the rest of these, for that matter." 

"Ah," Yifan says, much brighter than Yixing is accustomed to, where Yifan is concerned. But Yixing's sure Yifan remembers where Yixing's interests lie. Yixing has mentioned it to him once, a long time ago, and they've dabbled in lengthy discussions about a particular calligrapher's change in art style too. "They are all created by the same person; you are right. But the _artist_ –" Yixing doesn't miss the emphasis Yifan has placed on the word, or how the Emperor turns a little to regard Luhan with mirth in his eyes, or how Luhan responds with a (rather insolent) roll of his eyes. "–prefers not to be identified. I will be sure to convey your interest, however."

Yixing frowns a little at the exchange between Yifan and Luhan, wondering what's the private joke they're sharing. He isn't given the opportunity to dwell upon that, though, when Yifan interrupts his thoughts with yet another outrageous proposition. "Yixing, please do rise early tomorrow. I am taking you out of the palace the first thing in the morning, and I am not accepting 'no' for an answer." Yifan tells him calmly, as though he's talking about the weather instead of saying something that's almost causing Yixing's eyes to pop out of their sockets.

What exactly is going _on_ with Yifan and the extreme change in his attitude towards Yixing, anyway?


	25. Chapter 25

There's no helping his rather foul mood when Luhan drops himself onto the stool located in the middle of Yifan's chambers, his robes bunching gracelessly beneath him. He can't be bothered about how he looks right now, when they have all the privacy they need, and the servants have all been sent away by Yifan. Yifan knows this side of him; embraces this side of him. Everyone's entitled to their rare days of tantrums, and Luhan himself has endured enough from Yifan to call things even. 

Still, while Luhan thinks that jealousy is a very distasteful trait to have, he can't stop himself from feeling so. Not when Yifan has so boldly requested that Yixing joined him on an excursion out of the palace right in front of Luhan. The incident has happened almost a day ago, and Luhan has spent the rest of the time since that request being by Yifan's side, having Yifan make sweet love to him over and over again until he's sore all over, but it still doesn't stop those ugly feelings from surfacing the moment his mind shows him unwanted images of Zhang Yixing having Yifan all to himself. _His_ Yifan. 

He doesn't say it outright, but thankfully Yifan isn't that dense to not notice why he's being so irate. Luhan might really leave him for good if the reverse is true. 

Yifan's warm arms slide around his waist mere moments later, and Luhan can't stop himself from glancing down at the Emperor, his love, who has made himself comfortable by sitting on the floor, his head cushioned by Luhan's lap. Luhan's cock twitches a little when Yifan's hot breaths puff across sensitive skin through the thin layer of fabric, and Luhan has to force himself to keep his mind away from wanting to have more sex. There are other things which take precedence over climbing back under the covers and having Yifan filling him yet again. He should really put on more clothes. 

"You are angry at me." Yifan murmurs when Luhan keeps silent, his words muffled by Luhan's robes. "This is about Yixing, is it not?" 

Luhan looks away petulantly when Yifan tries to hold his gaze. His actions are unsightly, he knows, but the childish, possessive side of him is a force much too strong to be held down right now. He _doesn't_ want to lose Yifan. He _can't_. "Why are you asking, if you already know the answer?" He says this in spite of the raging internal battle to stay quiet. 

" _Please_ –" Yifan pleads, and he almost sounds sincere. _Almost_ – because Luhan can never guess what's on Yifan's mind these days when Yixing falls into the equation. Yifan has always insisted that he's married Yixing because he wants to provide Yixing with the opportunity to aid in the governance of the country, but when Luhan sees the way Yifan glances at Yixing sometimes, he isn't quite convinced that Yifan doesn't feel something _more_. The thought itself is enough to unsettle Luhan greatly. It doesn't even matter how Luhan keeps telling himself to not be overly suspicious. "–I have not been treating Yixing well enough since he has set foot in the palace. You know you still have my heart, Luhan. I merely want Yixing to experience his old life again."

It's not as though Luhan doesn't understand why Yifan is doing this, and it's exactly _why_ Luhan feels troubled. He remembers the time when he had just been wedded to Yifan in a highly controversial marriage to have taken place in China, where he'd been depressed for days while facing the oppression from the ministers and the Empress alike. In an effort to cheer Luhan up, Yifan had quietly snuck the both of them out of the Forbidden City for a week, just so they could both return to their quiet, peaceful lives as commoners for a bit. Even though they'd been reprimanded severely by the Empress, who'd called Yifan thoughtless and reckless, it had been a much needed escape from the restrictive lives of royals for the both of them. 

Luhan also remembers how much he'd appreciated Yifan's thoughtfulness back then, and in turn had fallen even more in love with him. He knows the light in Yixing's eyes – of concealed admiration for Yifan – when he looks at Yifan, no matter how much he pretends to be angry at Yifan. Luhan doesn't want Yixing to start acting upon those feelings for Yifan, because Yixing would inevitably begin competing with Luhan for Yifan's affections. For someone who has enjoyed undivided attention from Yifan for so long, Luhan supposes it's only natural for him to feel threatened in a way Song Qian role in Yifan's life has never made him feel. And Song Qian is the one who has to bear Yifan's offspring for the sake of producing the next heir of the Dragon's Throne. 

"Might I remind you that _you said_ he is to play a part in aiding the governance of China, and nothing else?" Luhan asks, this time a little calmer once he's managed to reign in his emotions. He ought to start polishing up on that soon; he doesn't want Zhang Yixing to have the satisfaction of seeing Luhan all riled up from jealousy and his insecurities. Luhan is above petty displays of tantrums before other people who isn't Yifan. 

"I know." Yifan confesses, and presses a kiss to the back of Luhan's hand and another to the inside of his wrist. The last action makes him squirm in his seat. It isn't fair that Yifan knows all of his weaknesses, and it isn't fair that he gets to tear down Luhan's defences so easily. "But I do not want him to be miserable. My intentions have not been made known to it, and it is far too early in the course of our marriage for him to be unhappy. My mother will be suspicious soon enough. When that time comes, I am afraid that I might inevitably cause his death." 

_Then so be it_ , a vicious thought forms at the back of his mind, but Luhan quickly pushes it away. It's bound to slip off his tongue if he isn't careful enough, and Yifan will be terribly upset with him then. 

"Then go," Luhan says instead, still not looking at Yifan. He doesn't want Yifan to see the wetness in his eyes, the insecurities which is slowly grappling him. Luhan is stronger than this. He _wants_ to believe that he is stronger than this. More graceful towards others. "Consort Zhang is waiting." 

It doesn't help that Yifan presses another kiss to his hand and then his forehead before he steps out of the chambers in commoners' clothing, making Luhan's heart clench painfully to the point of suffocation. In the end, when Luhan's left alone in the confines of Yifan's too-big private chambers, there's nothing else he can do apart from pillowing his head with his arms which are folded on the table, shedding quiet tears because of his fears.

 

\--

 

The streets of Chang'an still stands familiar to Yixing as he strolls through them, and he's glad that he hasn't forgotten his roots despite the amount of time he's spent being in the Forbidden City surrounded in luxury. He's heard the tales of many a commoner who were lucky enough to have caught the eye of a noble and have married into a more comfortable life, of them pretending not to know their own parents whenever they would cross paths. It shows their lack of filial piety to the highest level, and Yixing has vowed never to end up like them. His parents have suffered enough through the years to raise him into the person he is today, especially with Yixing's constant ill-health that requires expensive medications to bring it under control. Yixing is determined to provide them with a better life, and he hopes that his marriage to the Emperor could at least accomplish that, if nothing else – even if it means Yixing can't stay by their side for the remainder of their lives. 

Beside him, Yifan looks extremely at ease in commoners' clothing, even if it is made of cloth more expensive than anything everyone else on the street is wearing. He reckons no one can recognise the material, or gossips might be following after them by now. Yixing knows the mouths of the people of Chang'an like the back of his hand. 

"Be at ease," Yifan suddenly says, which shocks Yixing into straightening himself, cheeks pinking as he wonders if he's been caught staring. It's a bad habit of Yixing's to space out even while walking, his thoughts bringing him to an entirely different dimension, and it has gotten him into trouble more than once. "We are no longer in the Forbidden City. There is no need for you to be so conscious of your posture."

Yixing huffs a little and returns to looking at the path before them. He knows Yifan's Secret Guards are following after them, as is Zitao who's lingering some ways behind, and it makes him feel even more ill at ease. He's still not used to having people watching him with hawk-like eyes. "When something has been ingrained into your being for so long, one cannot help but fall into the mould set by another."

"That is true," Yifan concurs with a polite nod, and they've suddenly reverted to the initial days of their acquaintance, surrounded by nothing but awkwardness. "But I want you to relax. This is supposed to be a day for you to live away from the... _decorum_ back in those walls, if you must." 

They pause in front of a stall selling fish balls, and Yixing smiles when the hawker engages him in an enthusiastic chat as he prepares the food for Yixing, commenting about how Yixing hasn't been around for such a long time. Yixing can only answer him vaguely about going to a faraway land to eke out a better living for his family, but says no more. His cheeks pink again when he turns around and sees Yifan grinning at him. He'd nearly forgotten that he's out with the Emperor of China. 

"What?" Yixing mutters under his breath as he starts to lead them away from the stall, allowing his feet to take them wherever they want. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

From his peripheral vision, Yixing catches the way Yifan shrugs at his question. "You seem happier out here than you are in the City." 

Despite himself, Yixing finds himself frowning a little at Yifan's comment. "I _am_ happier being in Chang'an. You forcefully extracted me from this place." 

There's a flash of anger which crosses Yifan's features, and Yixing's fully prepared for the backlash, but it doesn't ever come. Instead, Yifan inhales deeply and composes himself before he speaks again. "I have told you this before, Yixing – I am merely acting on your wishes. You have told me that you wanted an opportunity to be on the Court, aiding in making decisions that will improve the nation. You have that in your hands now. What is it that does not please you?" 

Yixing flushes red, his cheeks warming up considerably at Yifan's comments. While it _is_ true that Yixing has expressed such intentions in the past – more than once, in fact – he'd wanted to achieve it through a more dignified manner, not instated into the Court as Yifan's consort. But as fate would have it, Yixing had failed the Imperial Examinations yet again, in his final bid no less, but he doesn't know if he should be thankful that Yifan has given him such an opportunity. Granted, Yifan has never made any indecent advances towards Yixing, who is still confused over his own feelings, but _still_. 

"This is about you marrying me as a man, is it not?" Yifan asks quietly when Yixing remains silent, causing Yixing to stutter in his steps. Two persons of the same gender being wedded to each other is definitely something unheard of, an unorthodox practice for a nation whose citizens are conservative enough to look down on an unmarried man and woman spending time alone together, and same sex marriages will definitely be condemned for all its worth. It's probably by a miracle that the nation has not heard of Yifan's marriage to Luhan – and, most recently, Yixing – though Yixing suspects that the Empress Dowager has had a hand in ensuring that the news does not spread. All the citizens, including Yixing, has only ever heard of their Emperor getting married, but no one knew of their supposed Empress' face. In a way, Yixing supposes he's lucky enough as a citizen to have known about the skeletons hidden away in the Forbidden City. 

"I am right, am I not?" Yifan questions again, his voice sounding oddly distant for how prideful and sure he usually is. Yixing's heart thumps painfully at the sound, wondering if he has actually wounded the Emperor's feelings, but then he remembers his predicament and steels himself. 

"You cannot possibly expect everyone to share the same tastes as you do, Yifan." Yixing replies as evenly as he can, keeping his gaze averted from Yifan. He doesn't have the courage to look at the expressions Yifan's wearing at the moment, worried that his resentment for Yifan would turn to ashes if he ever starts feeling guilty for the words he has ever said. Yixing knows how soft-hearted he is, after all, and he's too much of a coward to admit that he might actually be interested in the man who's currently walking alongside him. 

For one, a certain Consort Lu might actually act upon his threats and turn Yixing's life in the palace into complete misery. As much as Yixing dislikes the restrictive environment of the palace, he would very much prefer it if he were to be left to his own devices. The denizens of the Forbidden City can very well think of him as a non-existent entity, if they so wish. Yixing thinks he might be happier that way, with only Chen and Kyungsoo as his friends. 

"The marriage is–" Yifan starts, and Yixing doesn't know why he's so disappointed when the words die in Yifan's throat. He needs all the convincing he can get to believe that Yifan has his best interests at heart as he so claims to be, but at the moment, he's getting none and Yixing is honestly growing to be so weary and tired. "I just want things between us to go back to how it was before, Yixing. All this fighting between us; it tires me out. I do not want this." 

"Neither do I." Yixing says earnestly, because he yearns for the days where life had been simple and filled with much less worries for him. He's told himself – and Chen – this many times. Yixing was born into a common family for a reason, and it definitely doesn't include getting himself involved in the mess that is the Imperial family. "But there is no way we can return to the olden days; not when you are the ruler, and I am the servant." 

"Yixing, _please_ –" Yifan pleads, but Yixing is already hastening his steps, eager to break away from the life he's been forced to live, away from Yifan who has turned into someone he doesn't even know in such a short span of time. 

It's futile, Yixing can fathom as much, when Yifan's Secret Guards are shadowing their trail and Zitao only several steps away, but Yixing feels compelled to try. Seeing that Yifan has brought him out to the streets of Chang'an, where Yixing's chance at survival is higher than anywhere else in the country, Yixing holds the naïve notion that he might possibly be able to lose the Emperor in the thickening afternoon crowd. Having been away from Chang'an for far too long, though, the memory of Chang'an's rather messy streets inconveniently slips off Yixing's mind, and he fails to take note of the horse-drawn merchant carriage that's fast coming in his direction. 

Yixing's heart thumps in warning a moment too late, just when he's about to collide with the carriage in his silly haste to escape, and the only thing he's capable of doing is to squeeze his eyes shut, legs frozen on the spot as he waits for the impact to hit, saying a silent prayer for the longevity of his parents – and, in complete irony, Yifan. It's then that a strong hand wraps around his upper arm and forcefully yanks him backwards out of harm's way, but not without causing Yixing to lose his footing and stumble in the process. 

When the most of the panic from his near-death experience has diffused, a sharp pain takes its place, making Yixing sink to his knees as he tries to minimise the force of his weight on his bad ankle. Yifan's beside him in a flash, and Yixing somehow connects the dots and realises that Yifan had just saved his life. Zitao is hovering some ways away from where Yifan and Yixing are, limbs strained in an odd limbo of wanting to cross the street to come to Yifan's aid, and staying put in fear of incurring Yifan's wrath for disobeying his orders. Yifan had, after all, explicitly indicated that he doesn't want Zitao to approach them unless Yifan or Yixing's lives are in imminent danger, or when called. Even through his pain, Yixing feels sorry for Zitao. There's only so much that a person in servitude can do, when their hands are figuratively tied behind their backs. 

"You sprained your ankle," Yifan's voice is warm in his ear and too awfully close that Yixing jerks away in surprise again, and he pretends not to notice the hurt that flashes across Yifan's usually sure features. 

"It's nothing." Yixing insists after a long pause, and tries to push himself to stand, only to be seized by a fresh wave of pain. He doesn't want his weakness to show, though, and bites on his bottom lip as hard as he can to stop himself from yelling aloud, but it only fills his tongue with the nauseating taste of blood. 

He's half-expecting Yifan to reprimand him, but instead Yifan only surprises him again by crouching in front of Yixing, looking back at him expectantly. "Stop being stubborn. You're hurt, and you will not be able to walk any further on that ankle." He says, not a trace of anger in his voice, only concern. 

"What– what are you doing?" Yixing asks, even though it's evident what Yifan's intentions are. For a commoner, it might not be much of a deal to accept the offer of being carried on another person's back when you're hurt, but Yifan is the _Emperor_ , and anyone who might stumble upon them will call for Yixing's head to be lobbed off because it's considered disrespect of the highest order, but here Yifan is, acting as though it's the most natural thing in the world for him to do. 

Yifan seems to be oblivious to his status and raises an eyebrow at Yixing in question. "Would you rather I scooped you into my arms?" He suggests, and Yixing hates that his cheeks are burning from the images in his head. It's all that's needed for Yixing to awkward climb onto Yifan's back, though, hoping desperately that they'll make it back to the palace without bumping into the nobles who have access to the Forbidden City along the way. As things are, Zitao seems to want to take Yixing's life himself, from the way he's glaring intensely at Yixing. 

"Hang on tight," is all that Yifan tells him, though, before he hoists Yixing up with ease and starts heading back in the direction of the Forbidden City, as though he's done this countless times before. 

Yixing can only hope that Yifan can't feel the thundering of his heart against Yifan's back. He doesn't know what to make of the situation anymore.


	26. Chapter 26

"By the way, Yixing, I've been curious. How is your ankle at the moment? I hope the pain is not bothering you still." 

It's during one of their comfortable lapses of silence in their usual tutoring sessions that Chen brings up the very issue Yixing doesn't want to talk about. Yixing had been fully immersed in the scroll he's reading, and the sudden question from Chen shocks him into utter disarray. 

It's an innocent question for all its worth, and Chen's facial expression is a good enough proof of his intentions, but still Yixing can feel his cheeks burning up in embarrassment. He has been trying his best to keep the incident out of his mind, and no one has asked him anything about that slight limp he's still sporting so far, though it seems as though he can't run away from the inevitable after all. 

Yixing can still remember the day with perfect clarity, when he had been carried by Yifan on his back all the way from the streets of Chang'an to the palace, all because Yixing had accidentally twisted his ankle because of his inattention. Yixing can also recall Zitao's expressions back then; the Emperor's Elite Guard had not been pleased, after having his offer to carry Yixing in Yifan's stead rejected time and again by Yifan himself. It wasn't until they'd reached the outskirts of the Forbidden City did Yifan finally relent, but only because they're almost at the palace gates and it would have caused a massive uproar if the guards had seen Yifan carrying Yixing on his back. 

It's just how things are in the sanctity of the Forbidden City – the Emperor is considered a figure of utmost importance in the entire nation, second only to the gods they pray to. The Emperor should not, under any circumstance, be made to tire their bodies needlessly, and should anyone be caught causing even the slightest harm to his body, it is an offence amenable to death. Jungsoo has told Yixing that much, when Yixing had first set foot in the palace and was still very green towards the codes of conduct he needs to abide to. 

Even if Yifan himself doesn't care about such formalities, there are many others in the palace who would scrutinise even the smallest details and rigidly uphold the almost draconian laws that govern life behind these sacred walls, even if they themselves hoped that these rules could be abandoned and forgotten as a relic of the past. After all, if they could not escape from these laws, then no one else can. That's just the mentality of those who reside within the walls of the Forbidden City, and Yixing has grown frighteningly immune to such thoughts in a short period of time. 

"I–" Yixing starts, only to clear his throat and fall silent when he feels that it's best to keep his mouth shut. 

"Is something bothering you, Yixing?" Chen asks again, the concern evident in his words this time. _Yixing_ , and not _Your Highness_ as everyone else calls him; it's the only thing that tells Yixing he's found a friend in Chen. At least he's not alone, and he'd like to think that Chen will be there to listen to his worries when no one else would. He can only hope that he will not be judged at the end of the day. 

Yixing chews on his bottom lip in thought, before sighing in defeat when he catches Chen watching him expectantly still. "Have you ever liked another person above the context of friendship?" He asks instead, trying to gauge Chen's reactions to his questions before he divulged anything else. 

Chen seems contemplative for a moment, before a mysterious smile adorns his lips. "I do not possess the luxury to step out of the palace grounds much, Yixing." He says, but before Yixing can call him out for not answering his question, Chen shrugs and amends himself. "But, I would be lying if I said I did not fancy anyone in the palace." 

That has Yixing perking up with interest. For as long as he has known Chen, the latter has never divulged much about his own life, preferring to instead learn more about Yixing and to teach him the methods of surviving the cutthroat environment of the Forbidden City. "Really? Who might that lucky person be?" 

The mysterious smile doesn't waver from Chen's expressions when he tells Yixing, "That, Your Highness, is something which I cannot divulge." Yixing doesn't miss the way Chen's gaze has turned rather piercing, or how Chen had addressed him by his title instead of his name, and Yixing shifts uncomfortably in his seat for the first time since he's come to know Chen. Chen has always, _always_ been so open with him over the months that they've become acquainted, that Yixing isn't quite sure how he should deal with the deliberate concealment this time. 

The logical part of his mind says that he's in no place to force an answer out of Chen, however, so Yixing quickly changes the topic before the silence grows distressing. "Then pray tell, how would you feel whenever you meet that person?" 

"I guess–" Chen starts with a sigh, and the curves of his lips mellows down in a way Yixing has never seen on him. Somehow, it makes Chen look a lot less confident than the usual way he carries himself. "–when your heart yearns for someone, you would constantly crave to be by their side, and their smile will be the main driving force to live your days. And when they are near, your heart will beat uncontrollably fast, and you will never know what to do when they shower extra attention on you. Even if you get upset at them, such negative feelings will never last for long. Perhaps that is when you know your heart desires a person as more than just a friend."

Yixing falls silent and mulls over Chen's words in his mind, the chill slowly but surely spreading down his fingers and seeping deep into his bones when he gradually fits the pieces together. 

The realisation hits him hard moments later, but Yixing isn't given the opportunity to let it sink in fully when a messenger appears at the entrance to the library, causing both him and Chen to look up in surprise.

"This humble servant deeply apologises for the interruption of your studying session, Your Highness, but the Empress Dowager is requesting for you to be present at an audience with her, right now." 

It doesn't help ease the internal turmoil brewing within Yixing at all, and it takes all of Yixing's might not to stumble on his way out of the library, but not after exchanging a confused glance with Chen, who seems as surprised as Yixing is at the Empress Dowager's sudden summoning. 

Yixing tries not to pay heed to the way his legs are trembling beneath his weight as he trails after the messenger sent to fetch him to the Empress Dowager's residence. What could she ever want with him?

 

\--

 

When he had been told that he was required at an audience with the Empress Dowager, Yixing had thought that he was to see her alone. Frankly speaking, it had caused a great amount of fear to surge within him, mainly because of how intimidating the Empress Dowager is. Even if Yixing has been practising hard at polishing his mannerisms and speech in order for him to fit almost seamlessly into the uptight environment of the Forbidden City, Yixing _knows_ that his efforts will still be viewed as inadequate by the Empress Dowager. From the rare opportunities he's had to interact with her, albeit indirectly, Yixing can see that she has a critical eye for details, and he has caught her subtly grimacing whenever Yixing tripped on his words or reverted to his commoner accent while speaking in the Imperial Court. Although she hasn't said a word about his mistakes in the open, Yixing has no doubt that she will rip him apart the moment they're left alone, shredding the last of his self-confidence into nonexistent bits. 

That is just how the palace environment is. Harsh. Unforgiving. Almost on the verge of being _brutal_. It's hardly fair that Yixing is being thrown into it all of a sudden and is expected to adapt completely to the life in the Forbidden City like he's lived there since he was born in a matter of months, but there's no room for excuses in the Empress Dowager's eyes. If he isn't able to conform to the expectations being laid upon his head, then he will be considered as unworthy to stay in the palace. 

Yixing's surprised when he steps into the main hall of the Empress Dowager's residence, though, when his gaze meets those of Yifan's and Luhan's looking back at him, in addition to the Empress Dowager's. Only when Yixing straightens himself after extending his greetings to both the Empress Dowager and Yifan does he notice another woman standing beside Yifan's mother, hands folded before her and gaze trained on the floor. Even from where he's standing, Yixing can see the smooth features of the woman, beautiful in an exquisite kind of way and looking every bit the sort of person who's supposed to be seated next to the Emperor on the throne. Yixing hasn't been introduced to many other nobles around the palace, though, so he merely nods in greeting at the woman, whom dips her head in response. 

"Mother," Yifan speaks up just then, the seething rage barely concealed in the way his word are hissed through clenched teeth. "What is the meaning of this? Why did you order for us to meet you here today, and with Song Qian in attendance, no less?" 

Song Qian. The name strikes Yixing as familiar, and it's not after a while longer that he remembers this is the concubine who's supposed to procreate with Yifan. It's no wonder the Empress Dowager had specifically chosen her; the child born from the union between Yifan and Song Qian would no doubt be blessed with good looks. Song Qian seemed like an intelligent woman who knows exactly how to conceal her intelligence too, which is seen as a threat to the other ministers, and that will definitely be an added advantage to her being selected. 

"Interesting that you should ask." The Empress Dowager answers, the sarcasm layered deep in her words. "I was under the impression that you have forgotten what you have promised me." 

"What are you–" Yifan starts, only to be interrupted by the Empress Dowager again. 

"It has been two months since this _peasant_ married into the family–" Yixing's stomach churns at the title, because he knows for a fact that she's directing it at him, and there is no other term that's more derogatory than that. "–and yet you are still without a child. Am I wrong to think that you have been spending your time being pleasured by these... _shameless beings_ instead of fulfilling your duty to the throne and the family to beget an heir?" 

Yifan seems poised to hit back with a retort, but what surprises Yixing is when Luhan voices up before Yifan can even come up with something tangible. "Not everyone has the privilege or the luck to be high born like you, Your Highness, and it is incredibly rude to speak ill of your subjects in such a manner." 

The sentence structure may be polite, but Luhan's intonation is anything _but_. Yixing can hear the indignation in his words, and the fury simmering beneath. This is where Yixing becomes awed with the way Luhan carries himself – unwavering even in the face of a greater force, even if the Empress Dowager can order for his exile at any given time. Then again, Yifan will never let that happen, judging from the way he has inched closer to Luhan, shielding his consort partially from his mother. 

"I would appreciate it if you'd pick your words carefully, _Mother_. Luhan and Yixing have not done anything to deserve such contempt and derogation from you." Yifan maintains, pride standing strong. "How is it my fault if she cannot conceive, when I have been copulating with her during her most fertile days of the month?" 

Yixing jumps when the Empress Dowager slams a hand against the table, but both Yifan and Luhan remain firmly grounded, the defiance in their eyes burning strong despite knowing that they have drawn the Empress Dowager's ire. "I will not stand for such insolence!" She barks, and Song Qian draws back slightly, the expression on her face showing that she's an unwilling party in this dispute between the Emperor and the Empress Dowager. Yixing rather feels sorry for her, to have been trapped in a feud she has no say upon. "I only allowed your marriage with Consort Zhang to proceed _because_ you have promised me you will beget an heir with Song Qian, and you are not holding your end of the deal!" 

"As I have said, Mother–"

"No more excuses from you." The Empress Dowager snaps. "From this day onwards, you _will_ copulate with Imperial Concubine Song _every single day_ until she is pregnant with the royal child. And your Consorts _will_ be there to witness every moment of it." 

There's a collective gasp of shock from everyone else in the room – including Song Qian – at the Empress Dowager's order, and more protests coming from both Yifan and Luhan, because this is every bit cruel to those who are involved. Yixing can understand a little more about how Luhan feels now, to watch the person you love being in someone else's arms. He feels sick within at the mere thought of having to watch Yifan making love to Song Qian, and is sure that Luhan feels a hundred times worse, if the paleness of his complexion is anything to go by. 

"Mother, you cannot possibly be serious about this!" Yifan pleads, torn between despair and being enraged. 

It's evident nothing will ever change the Empress Dowager's mind, though, when she narrows her eyes and says, "Either you live with my arrangement, or you shall see your beloved Consorts in exile." 

And it's so glaringly obvious, which option Yifan has picked, when he hangs his head and says not another word. 

 

\--

 

As if his day isn't already bad enough, Yixing finds himself cornered in a secluded building by none other than Luhan himself, after they have left the Empress Dowager's residence. 

In retrospect, Yixing should have known better than to agree when Luhan had asked to have a private word with him. At the back of his mind, Yixing _knows_ by instinct that Luhan is at his foulest of moods, considering how his expressions were a reminiscent of a looming thunder cloud the moment he had turned away from the Empress Dowager. Luhan had even turned down Yifan's request for him to follow Yifan back to his private chambers, a decision which Yifan had accepted with surprisingly good grace. Perhaps they all understood what's going to happen behind closed doors, and neither of them are prepared for the inevitable, when their emotions are running high on raw anger and frustration. 

But there's where Yixing's lack of self-preservation comes in, and he realises this a little too late when he's pressed up against the wall with the back of Luhan's forearm impinging against his neck. The strength he's exerting on Yixing betrays the weak look he exhibits to others, something which Yixing is only learning now, and the only thing that crosses his mind is that Luhan is extremely dangerous. 

"Are you happy now?" It's the first question Luhan throws at him, voice deceptively calm and level for the amount of aggression on display. 

Yixing, in all his confusion, can only blink and blurt a less-than-intelligent, "What?" 

It seems to be the wrong thing to say, though, when Luhan applies more force against Yixing's neck. This time, he actually hurts Yixing enough to cause him to splutter and gasp for air, but Luhan doesn't even flinch when Yixing's hands come up to claw at his arm, a desperate attempt to get Luhan to ease up on the pressure. 

The smile Luhan rewards him with for his efforts is cruel. "If you had not married Yifan and became a part of his _hougong_ , none of this would have happened." He says tersely, betraying none of the hatred he probably feels for Yixing. "He would not have had to make that promise, and Yifan and I would have been able to live happily without the extra complications on the side. But now–" Luhan inhales deeply and fixes Yixing with a deadly glare. "–now I have to watch him fucking another person, _every. single. day._ Do you even understand how excruciating it is?" 

Yixing's about to reply to the question, but his mouth clamps shut when his brain comes up with nothing. Indeed, Yixing's feelings for Yifan will probably never rival Luhan's, and he doesn't quite know yet how he'd feel to have to watch Yifan in bed with another person who isn't him. 

Luhan catches up on that, and sneers at Yixing. "You don't, do you?" He asks. Yixing can only shake his head dumbly as he keeps his breath shallow, hoping to conserve as much air as he can before he dies of asphyxiation, should Luhan's arm dig deeper into his windpipe. But his eyes grow wide when Luhan brandishes a dagger from beneath his robes and runs its tip down the column of Yixing's throat until it rests above where Yixing's heart is beating frantically, the cold metal making him shudder. "The pain is akin to me driving this knife right through your chest and twisting it sharply." He tells Yixing, the cruel smile contorting his features and making him sick. "Do you want me to give you a taste of your own medicine?" 

Yixing knows he should be answering to Luhan's question, but he's so grappled with fear that the only thing he's capable of doing is to swallow hard and stay silent, all while praying to the gods above for a miracle that he'll somehow escape this unscathed. Mercifully, Luhan draws back after a tense moment of silence, and Yixing sinks to his knees while taking large gulps of air to fill his lungs, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes when Luhan finally lets go of him. 

"Pathetic," Luhan spits, his gaze full of contempt as he sheathes his dagger and hides it from view once again. "If you ever step out of line again and mess up my life even more, make no mistake that I _will_ end you with my own hands." 

And as silent as the gentle breeze, Luhan abandons Yixing in that room, leaving nothing but the traces of what he had done behind, in the form of a deep-seated chill which lingers long after he's gone. It bites at Yixing's bones, painful in every way possible, and there's nothing Yixing can do apart from curling into himself and allowing the fearful tears to fall. 

 

\--

 

"It is unlike you to be so merciful, master." As expected, Kai joins him the moment Luhan steps out of the building, but Luhan doesn't bother glancing at him. He's told Kai time and again that they cannot be seen in public together, yet the man who's supposed to be his secret protector never seems to listen. Perhaps only when real danger befalls Kai will he finally heed Luhan's orders. 

"Why do you say so?" He instead asks in the calmest tone he can manage, even though Luhan truly feels agitated deep within. He can't imagine how he's supposed to live, when he has to watch Yifan having an intercourse with Song Qian every single day until she conceives. He already feels queasy by merely thinking about it. 

Kai, fearless as always, says the first thing that comes to mind. "If it were the old you, the one I had first met when I had entered the Lu family, you would have plunged the dagger right through his chest. Why did you hold back?" 

This time, Luhan pauses in his steps and smiles at Kai. "Because–" he starts, feeling the long forgotten cruelty which has been embedded in him since young beginning to surface once again, "–there is no better satisfaction to watch Zhang Yixing crumbling bit by slow bit from the mental torture, before I put him out of his misery once and for all. I will make his life a living hell, and he will regret that he had ever agreed to marry Yifan in the first place."


	27. Chapter 27

Yixing honestly doesn't know how Luhan does it, all this pretending that nothing is wrong behind closed doors with the Emperor's _hougong_ , when Luhan speaks up with complete confidence before the ministers who are all scrutinising them with a critical eye, voice without even the slightest of trembles. The walls Luhan have built up around him are so incredibly high, especially considering how Yixing had witnessed the way Luhan had been on the verge of an emotional breakdown just an hour ago.

It's been like this for the last couple of weeks, ever since Yixing and Luhan have been forced to watch Yifan in his attempts to impregnate Song Qian in the Imperial Chambers. The only reprieve they could get was when Song Qian had gotten her menses, allowing them a week's break from the torture, but at the same time, it also meant that their torment would be prolonged for yet another month. Initially, Yixing had thought it would be possible for them to walk away from the room without anyone being the wiser, but it soon became apparent that the Empress Dowager was very serious with her words. Guards would be stationed outside the main entrance to the courtyard that leads to the Imperial Chambers, barring anyone from exiting until the Emperor himself has taken his leave. They were trapped and completely at the Empress Dowager's mercy. 

Yixing can somewhat feel how much Luhan suffers through these sessions. True to his stubborn behaviour, Luhan would keep his eyes wide open on the bed before them, watching unblinkingly as Song Qian unties Yifan's robes and vice versa, hands roaming across the body which is supposed to belong to Luhan alone. Luhan may appear relatively unaffected on the outside, but he can't fool Yixing with the way his hands tremble by his side, nails digging into his palms in an effort to keep his frustrations in. Most of the time, his nails would leave red, angry imprints in his palms, and sometimes, Luhan would even draw blood when it's too much to take.

The moment Luhan steps out of the courtyard and heads towards the Imperial Court for the day's meeting with the ministers, however, it's as though he has left everything behind him, pulling on a mask of eerie calmness which scares Yixing even more than when Luhan's showing his true self. Somehow, Yixing thinks that Luhan's like a dormant volcano waiting to erupt, and Yixing really, _really_ dreads to think what might transpire if it does happen. He's seen what Luhan is capable of doing, and Yixing suspects he'll bear most of the brunt of Luhan's pent-up wrath when Luhan can't hold it in any longer.

On the other hand, Yixing hadn't expected for himself to be this gravely affected by the Empress Dowager's cruel arrangement. It hasn't even been that long since Yixing has slowly come to accept that his feelings for Yifan hasn't been platonic for a long while now, that the resentment he holds for Yifan and his selfish decision to make Yixing a part of his _hougong_ will never last more than two meetings, and it's surprisingly excruciating to watch Yifan bedding someone else. Yixing has tried not to imagine Yifan being with Luhan in bed, and he's successful for the most part, but the more he sees of Yifan and the way his robes hang loosely on his broad shoulders, his long hair draping over his back and sticking to the sides of his face due to the sweat as he pumps in and out of Song Qian, the more Yixing can't seem to keep his mind off wanting to be in Song Qian's place.

The way Yifan grunts and scrunches his eyebrows in concentration makes things all the more unbearable, and more often than not, Yixing finds himself struggling to even keep a shred of his composure intact. While Yixing isn't one who'd habitually indulge himself in acts of self-sexual gratification, apart from the one guilt-filled time when he was younger and had fantasised about his neighbour's extremely beautiful daughter, he finds himself invariably rushing back to his own chambers after Yifan's done with Song Qian, hands wrapped around his erection and jerking himself off to completion. Yixing's cheeks burn red hot in embarrassment again when he remembers how he had wanted so badly for Yifan to lay him on the bed, with Yifan's mouth wrapped around his length.

"Consort Zhang–" Prime Minister Song's voice cuts into his reverie just then, and Yixing straightens himself in his seat immediately, blushing furiously at being caught daydreaming in the middle of a meeting. He moves his hands in what hoe hopes is the most discreet manner onto his lap, all while praying hard that his thoughts hadn't translated themselves into a bodily response. Yixing thinks he would die on the spot from mortification, and it will definitely not bode well for his already-poorly reputation. "–may this humble servant know what is on Your Highness' mind, with regards to the drought situation which has grappled our fine nation?"

For a brief moment, Yixing's clueless as to which point their conversation that morning has arrived at, but then he decides that it's best to speak his mind. He's been following the nation's development rather religiously as of late, considering the fact that it's the only way he can keep his mind from wandering towards inappropriate thoughts of Yifan, and the drought situation had caught his attention. Having lived as a commoner for most of his life, Yixing knows how the drought would affect the crops at the most basic of levels, and how the people would suffer from the harsh, dry weather. The yield of the crops could not attain its maximal capacity – perhaps not even half of its normal production – in such weather, and oftentimes the poorest of citizens would have to starve for months to come, surviving on the barest amount of food to keep them functioning until the Gods above decided that the torment was enough for the year and granted them the much-needed rainfall to get the crops to grow. 

Yixing also remembers how he had spent one such summer wishing that the government officials could spend a part of their gigantic fortune to help the suffering commoners, and it's exactly that thought which gives him the courage to speak up. "I do not think that the rationing of food will aid the situation. If anything, I believe it will aggravate the people's resentment for the government even more."

"And you know this because?" Another minister, whom Yixing recognises to be the minister of agriculture challenges his words, and it takes all of Yixing's might to not cower from the intense gaze the man is fixing him with. Both Chen and Jungsoo have told him this before – he should never allow the rest of the Court to taste or smell his fear in the air, or they might attack him even more viciously than before. They preyed on the weak, it seems, and Yixing's determined not to end up as their next victim. If Luhan can do this, so can he. 

So Yixing puffs up his chest and manages in the most stable voice he can muster, filling his words with the courage he doesn't necessarily possess. "Because I have once been a part of them." He reminds them. By now, Yixing has decided that he will use his life as a commoner to his utmost advantage in the Court, giving them some insight to what a commoner might think about each and every decision the ministers make. At the very least, Yixing can live with the knowledge that he's utilising his newfound position for the greater good, instead of drowning himself in the luxury he's not supposed to have in the first place. 

_Never forget your roots_ , his father had told him before Yixing had left home all those months ago, and Yixing is determined to hold on steadfastly to his father's advice. He is _not_ going to lose himself in the dark world of the palace. He is not going to end up being one of them. 

"I know this because the people would always suffer whenever the drought months roll around. They live through each day precariously, surrounded by the fear of not knowing if it would be a day where they would breathe their last, their minds only filled with the thoughts of how hungry they are." Yixing continues, swallowing hard when his mind reminds him of the time when he had suffered so greatly while battling his disease. It was the summer which had made Yixing feel thankful that he's able to live just another day longer. "It is a vicious cycle – when the people are hungry, they will not be able to work. And when they are not able to work, then there will be no one to plant the seeds, no crops to harvest. It will be detrimental to our nation in the long run." 

"Then what do you propose, Your Highness?" Prime Minister Song questions again. Somehow, Yixing doesn't think that the man likes him all that much, even though his daughter is commandeering the Emperor's attention more these days. Surely he had hoped that Song Qian would be instated as the Empress of the Dragon Throne, before Yixing had appeared and posed as another hurdle for her to cross. 

Holding the Prime Minister's gaze down, and knowing that everyone's attentions are on him at this very moment, Yixing inhales deeply. "Share our wealth. We should import basic necessities from a nation who is not suffering as badly from the weather which our country is experiencing, to tide us over these trying times. I am sure that if every government official in the nation contributes a small portion of their fortune, then we will be able to achieve the target of filling every roof with enough supplies for the next few months. It will surely soothe the citizens' irritation with the government." 

The Great Hall is promptly filled with numerous red-faced officials, evidently incensed by Yixing's bold suggestion. No one would ever willingly part with their fortune, especially not the nobles and the high-ranked officials. Yixing knows that much. But they have asked him for his opinion, and he will not shirk away from his ideas just because he feels intimidated by them. 

Before anyone can outwardly cry foul over Yixing's proposition, though, Yifan speaks up and effectively quietens the rest of the room. "I think that is a good idea. It would be ludicrous if we lived in comfort while our people suffered in the grassroots, and every bit against the type of Emperor I would want to be." He says, and his gaze upon Yixing is nothing short of being impressed. Yixing flushes under the attention, and involuntarily cowers into his seat. 

Above all, he tries not to pay heed to the fact that Yifan isn't the only one whose gaze is trained upon him. Except, the second and third pair of eyes are more critical than admiring, belonging to none other than Luhan and the Empress Dowager. Luhan has been suspiciously silent throughout the meeting, but Yixing isn't oblivious to the way he would glance at Yixing every now and then, waiting, _hoping_ that Yixing would make a fool out of himself in the eyes of others. At times like these, it makes Yixing wonder how two commoners can be worlds apart in terms of their conduct. Luhan carries himself a lot more like a true royalty than Yixing can ever hope to be. 

"But Your Majesty–" another protest breaks out, pulling Yixing's attention away from Luhan's eyes which are _still_ focused on him. "–you cannot possibly be considering that suggestion. It is outrageous!" 

"Is that so?" Yifan questions with silent authority, effectively drowning out the remainder of the dissent amongst his ministers. "The government pays those who work for it well, and I am sure through your valuable years of service, you must have amassed a small fortune at the very least. Surely contributing a fifth of your wealth each will not be too much to ask for?"

There's a long pause – a challenge for any of the ministers to speak up against Yifan, really – that follows his words, but at the end, there's not a single objection that fills the air. Satisfied with the silence, Yifan smiles at his ministers and makes his last proclamation before he dismisses the Court. "You have until midweek to report your possessions to an official of the Treasury, and to hand over the designated amount of contribution. Anyone who is caught making false declaration of their assets will be dealt with _severely_. That is all." 

Yixing rather regrets his words a moment too late when he registers the hateful looks the ministers are sending in his direction as they file out of the hall, but there's nothing else he can do about it, not when the situation has reached a point of no return with Yifan's declaration.

 

\--

 

"What do I do, Chen?" Yixing almost wails when he meets his friend, somewhat mortified that he had been bold enough to make such a suggestion in Court and actually have Yifan permitting it to proceed. Needless to say, after giving it much thought, it's a suggestion which affects many levels of the society, and they won't necessarily welcome a _commoner_ like him turning their lives upside down because of some thoughtless comments. "The Court is sure to despise me for what I have said." 

Beside him, Chen looks rather sympathetic – _thankfully_ , for Yixing would hate to find out that his suggestion would send away the only friend he has in the Forbidden City – over Yixing's current predicament. The man appears torn between wanting to keep a respectful distance, and putting a comforting hand on Yixing's shoulder, though the latter wins Chen over in the end. It's no less awkward, though; Chen is definitely mindful of the difference in their ranks, regardless of the fact that they can label each other as a friend in private. Anyone can walk in upon them at any given time, and it's better to be safe than sorry. 

Gossips are, after all, vicious in its very nature. Gossips involving a noble frolicking with the Emperor's Consort, on the other hand, will only lead to death. 

"I am sure the ill-feelings will tide over with time," Chen tells him, giving him a reassuring smile that doesn't feel very reassuring at all. "The ministers will come around and realise that you are prioritising the welfare of the citizens first and foremost." 

"And exactly how long will that take? Weeks? A month? A year? Never?" He asks again, the tendrils of dread slowly taking over his mind. Yixing doesn't know how many others before him had singlehandedly pissed off an entire court of ministers in history, but he's fast suspecting that he might be the first and only one tactless enough to do so. The thought sends him into yet another pained groan; he wishes this was nothing more than a nightmare. 

"Eventually." Chen reiterates, the smile on his lips turning rather wry now. Even Chen agrees that it's going to take a long while. Yixing is doomed. "Things are not as bad as they seem, Yixing. At the very least, you will have the citizens rallying behind you. You were once a commoner; I am sure you would know how they think – they are not ungrateful people." 

Yixing sighs and looks up at Chen from between his fingers, still half-dying from mortification. "That may be true, but–"

"But you need to have more faith in yourself, Yixing. Pride yourself in being the Consort for the people. I believe that you will be able to make a much-needed difference in the running of the nation, but for that you will need to persevere." Again, Chen tries to console him and support him at the same time, and Yixing wonders why Chen hasn't yet found someone to love him for who he is. If things had been different, if Yixing had first met Chen before he had Yifan, Yixing would definitely have fallen for Chen instead. 

As things stand, though, there's nothing Yixing can do but to flash a grateful smile at Chen, simultaneously attempting to find the confidence to keep holding on and maintaining his principles. He doesn't want to forget his roots; he had promised. "Thank you–" Yixing starts, only to be interrupted when another figure sweeps into the room and stuns Yixing into silence. 

"How nice of you to be spurring Consort Zhang along, Jongdae, but I am afraid I will have to interrupt your session for a brief moment," the sweet voice coos, and again Yixing wonders how Luhan is able to keep all of his emotions under tight wraps. He doesn't want to delude himself too much, but Yixing wants to believe he can see the pain in Luhan's eyes, especially when Luhan turns to look at him with a gaze so piercing it sends a chill down his spine. 

Something else catches Yixing's attention, though, and he turns to Chen in confusion. "Jongdae?" He wonders aloud, and a pink shade of embarrassment spreads across Chen's cheeks, accompanied by the guilty downturn of his gaze. 

"It's a long story, Your Highness. I will excuse myself for now and leave you to talk." Chen says immediately, leaving Luhan alone with Yixing without further ado, even though Yixing wants so badly for him to stay. 

It's unfair, how everyone thinks of Luhan as a docile little lamb who can't and won't harm the others in the palace, when he's anything but that. Yixing feels utterly trapped when Luhan turns a little to regard him with the same condescending gaze he seems to have reserved for Yixing alone. "You did not provide me with the opportunity to commend you on your bold suggestion after the Court was dismissed, my beloved _didi_." 

Yixing swallows and takes a step back. "There is no need for that, _gege_ ," he says, voice trembling a little, but it's a good thing he remembers the title Luhan had so specifically asked of him to use. He doesn't want to anger Luhan any more than he already has, not when Luhan had expressed his intentions of killing Yixing should he step out of line. Yixing wipes the cold sweat in his palms on his robes. 

Luhan seems mock surprised by Yixing's reply, his gaze no less predatory. "Of course there is!" He exclaims, though all Yixing could gather from his intonation is just that – mocking. "It is a brilliant way of bringing yourself down without me having to dirty my hands." Of course; Yixing should have anticipated that. "Do you really think you can escape the infighting that happens both in the _hougong_ and the Court?" 

"No," Yixing blurts out in lightning speed, because he knows that it's true. He can never run away from the jealousy and the darkness that enshrouds the denizens of the Forbidden City, no matter how much he wants to. It's destined upon him the moment Yifan had announced that Yixing was to be his second consort. "But I cannot possibly betray the people for the sake of saving myself, either." 

"How ambitious and noble of you, Zhang Yixing." Luhan barks out a laugh at Yixing's words and inches closer to him, backing him up into the wall and trapping him there. Yixing swallows hard when their breaths mingle in the tiny space between their bodies – the sweet smell of jasmine on Luhan is absolutely intoxicating – and his heart beats just a little faster when Luhan presses in. He can feel the way Luhan's knees are nudging his legs apart, Luhan's own thigh applying a firm pressure against Yixing's crotch. The smirk on Luhan's face tells a million words; he evidently _knows_ that Yixing's body is reacting to him against Yixing's will, and he plays it to his advantage. 

Yixing tries not to keen in surprise when Luhan suddenly catches his earlobe between his teeth.

"I can ruin you in so many ways, Zhang Yixing," Luhan whispers, and Yixing rightly freezes when Luhan's smooth palm wanders beneath Yixing's robes and skims across bare skin. He tries _hard_ not to think about how he wants Luhan's hand to go lower, because it's wrong in every way possible. He's not supposed to give in to the temptation. He's not supposed to succumb to the lust. He's not supposed to be drawn in by Luhan. "Do you want me to?" 

What's frightening is the fact that Yixing's heart is inclined to say yes, if only because he's been craving for Yifan's touch badly.

Luhan seems to be able to read his mind, because he laughs again and pats Yixing condescendingly on the cheek. "I am not insane enough to defile you before Yifan does anything to you – _not_ that I would allow him to, either." He says, breath still discomfortingly warm against the skin of Yixing's perspiration-covered neck. "But remember – you can never run from this. You can never run from me." 

Yixing lets out a shuddering breath when Luhan walks away from him, feeling light-headed from their most recent confrontation, but there's a recurring thought which plagues his mind, of how Luhan always, _always_ manages to leave him weak-kneed at the end of their interactions.

He doesn't like this one bit.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for having taken so long to update, but I've been busy trying to deal with work and finish up my yifantasy entry orz. Hopefully I'll get to write more frequently from now on :)

Through the hectic schedules he's been having since he had stepped into the palace, Yixing didn't have much of an opportunity to focus on his health condition. 

He's very much aware of the occasional coughing fits he has from time to time, but what Yixing doesn't keep track on is the fact that these coughing spells are becoming more frequent as the days pass, made worse by the stress and the lack of sleep that punctuates his daily life. Yifan apparently hadn't been joking when he had put Yixing in charge of overseeing the entire process of the government officials' declaration of their assets – _the person who has made the suggestion is naturally tasked to be responsible for it_ , he had told Yixing when Yixing had asked, much to Yixing's horror. As if he hasn't already received enough hatred and resentment from these officials to last him this lifetime and probably the next. 

Of course, Yixing has tried his best to appear apologetic – because he truly _is_ sorry that things have boiled down to this, no matter how the others might view him – whenever the officials hand over the designated amount of their wealth to the Treasury, but he's received his fair share of scathing remarks all the same. _There's no need for you to shed crocodile tears, Your Highness_ , some had said with contempt and sarcasm if they were brave enough, and it's definitely a comment which will earn them a trip to the guillotines if Yifan ever hears of them, but Yixing has pleaded with the other guards and officials to not mention it to the Emperor. He acknowledges the contribution these ministers have made for the nation, many of them invaluable, and he'd rather not see heads rolling unnecessarily, much less _because_ of him. Yixing doesn't think that he'll be able to live it down. 

This day, however, Yixing can't ignore the way he's hacking and coughing away as he tries to focus on the scrolls which lay open on the table in front of him. It's making his sides hurt and his vision swim, and the harsh sounds he's making is frankly scaring even himself. Even the maids who are tasked to serve him are suspended in a limbo, probably trying to decide between themselves if they should fetch the Royal Healer on Yixing's behalf, but one stern look from Yixing is all that's needed to keep them in place. It doesn't stop them from pouring him one cup of hot tea after the other, however, and Yixing is more than grateful for that.

It's not as though Yixing doesn't care for his health; he'd rather think that he knows how terrible his situation had been before, and this doesn't even cut close to it. At least he's not trembling and shivering in cold, or being reduced to hiding beneath the covers to warm himself up. Yixing is still able to work, and that's more than enough consolation for him. 

But considering the amount of time he's spent being well rather than being ill, Yixing has gravely underestimated the gravity of his sickness, and by the time he realises it, he's already coughing up large amounts of blood which soaks through the sleeves of his silk robes when he covers his mouth.

The last thing he remembers is the panicked shrieking of his maids, before his vision blacks out and his consciousness slips right through the seams of his fingers.

 

\--

 

Yifan ignores the frantic calls by his guards to _please, slow down Your Majesty, it will not do to injure yourself in your haste!_. 

He'd been in the middle of an official visit to the countryside, to see with his own eyes how his subjects are faring with the prolonged drought, when he had received a messenger dove which was flown from the palace, from _Jongdae_ , telling him that Yixing had fallen ill and fainted while Yifan had been away. Immediately he apologised to his people, and hopped onto a horse which is supposed to draw his carriage, riding it all the way back to the palace without letting his guards know in advance, his mind filled with nothing but worry for Yixing. 

Yifan remembers the first time he had met Yixing, and the discovery of Yixing's packet of medicine which he had accidentally left behind after bumping into Yifan. He had taken the medicinal package to the Imperial Healer, only to find out that it's the strongest remedy amongst the commoners for a kind of chronic lung illness, and is not taken unless the condition is very severe. He'd thought it was a one-off thing which had plagued Yixing, considering how Yixing had never discussed his condition with him, but right now, Yifan isn't really sure about that anymore. No one's supposed to faint from a minor illness. Maybe Yixing hasn't been as healthy as Yifan had thought him to be. 

Yifan gathers the hem of his robes the moment he hops off his horse, roaring at the servants to get out of the way as he runs the rest of the distance to Yixing's chambers. The only consolation he gets when he barges through the doors is the fact that Yixing's already seated up on his bed, accepting a cup of hot tea from Jongdae with a weak smile. His heart sinks at how absolutely pale Yixing looks, his cheeks devoid of the usual rosy tint he would sport. 

The servants all startle at Yifan's presence, and they hurriedly rush to greet their Emperor, but Yifan impatiently asks them to leave the room so that he could be with Yixing uninterrupted. He doesn't forget to thank Jongdae for the information when the latter is on his way out, though, which Jongdae responds to with a small smile and a slight dip of his head, saying that it's his duty to the Emperor. 

Yixing, on the other hand, looks torn between surprise and guilt when Yifan slowly approaches his bed. "Your Majesty–" he greets stiffly, and Yifan can feel himself flinch inwardly at the title. Even until now, Yixing's holding him at an arm's length away, never letting Yifan get any closer. It's frankly frustrating. "–should you not be at the countryside, surveying your subjects' living conditions?" 

Yifan's frown rightfully deepens at Yixing's question. Trust the man to be more concerned over the commoners than his own health. "As if I could rest easy when I heard that you had fainted. You have been overworking yourself."

Yixing's expressions are oddly cut off when he replies Yifan next. "An Emperor's duty is to his people and their welfare. A Consort merely exists to aid him on that front. What sort of Consort am I, to have robbed your people of your attention, and cannot even take good care of my own health?"

Even though the words are ones that define Yixing for who he is – selfless, generous; _too_ overly generous – it doesn't stop Yifan's temper from flaring, and he finds himself shaking Yixing's shoulder to make Yixing _see_ that it's okay to be selfish sometimes. "Why have you never mentioned about your ill health to me?" He growls, remembering what the Imperial Healer had told him when Yifan had bumped into the old man earlier. Yixing's condition is far more serious than he had initially thought, and Yifan doesn't want to dwell on the possibility of ever losing him. 

Yixing averts his gaze at once and attempts to hide a cough behind his clenched fist. Yifan catches sight of the blood stains on his hand when Yixing pulls it away, and his heart sinks yet again. "I was under the impression that you did not care." Yixing tells him. It only serves to spur Yifan's anger on. 

"We are _married_ , Zhang Yixing! I have the duty as your husband to know of your ill health through your own mouth, not through the words of another! Why can you not understand that?" 

"Are we?" Yixing glances back at him, the skepticism clear as daylight in his eyes, and it hurts Yifan to know that Yixing can't even trust in his words. "We are only bound together by name. The marriage has not been consummated, and as such I am not your spouse." 

Yifan narrows his eyes at Yixing. "What are you trying to say?" 

The corner of Yixing's pale lips curl into a self-deprecating smirk. "I am under the impression that you made me marry you as a punishment, to embarrass me for having looked down upon your ruling regime and ridiculed your competency in running the country, _Your Majesty_. Am I wrong?" 

His words makes Yifan see red, and Yifan grabs Yixing by the shoulders again, shaking him more firmly this time in hopes that it'll manage to get some sense into Yixing's head. "I made you my Consort for _your sake_ , Yixing! You have always wanted to serve the government and change all the wrongs, and I can see your potential in succeeding! I had no choice but to resort to a royal marriage because you have been unfairly deprived of the position you deserve by my corrupt bunch of ministers!" 

"I–" Yixing stutters at long last, blinking in utmost confusion. "What?" 

"I _care_ about you, Yixing, no matter how you might think I am against you and intend to make your life miserable. That is not my goal at all," Yifan finally sighs, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Yixing's. Knowing that Yixing's condition is at least stable for now is more than enough for Yifan, and the exhaustion which has carried over from the last few days finally sinks in. He doesn't want to fight. "I am sorry for only letting you know now, but I could not have risked having the other ministers find out about my intentions before I managed to set my plans in motion." 

"It is not fair for you to have kept me in the dark for so long," Yixing whispers back, and Yifan can hear the way he swallows his emotions. 

"I know, and I am sorry. Truly." Yifan tells him, hand reaching up to caress Yixing's cheek. The only consolation he gets is the way Yixing seems to lean into his touch. "If you are no longer happy being here, let me know. I am more than willing to let you go, if it means preserving your happiness."

He's mildly surprised when Yixing's hand comes up to keep Yifan's own pressed against his skin. "Are you happy, then? Being with me, keeping me here?" Yixing asks, voice ever so soft, and it breaks Yifan to hear the hesitance and disbelief in his words.

"I am." Yifan admits for what possibly is the first time in his life. When he had brought Yixing into the palace in the beginning, making him a part of the lawmakers had been Yifan's only intention. But the more he spends his time being with Yixing, learning of Yixing's thoughts and his intentions on making the nation a better place to live in, the more Yifan finds himself being attracted to the man. Admittedly, his feelings for Yixing will never rival the affections he holds for Luhan, but he now knows that he can't bear to lose Yixing, if the way his heart had stopped beating for a brief moment when he'd received the news was anything to go by. If he didn't genuinely care for Yixing, he wouldn't have abandoned his responsibilities at hand and rushed back to the palace like he would have done for Luhan. "But only if you are here to stay on your own free will." 

"Then–" Yixing pauses, cupping Yifan's face with his cold hands and drawing him just a little closer. Yifan shudders at the way their lips brush ever so lightly across each other's when Yixing's speaks next. "–will you allow me to be selfish for once?" 

"Anything you wish," Yifan replies quietly, feeling his heart threatening to burst from the onslaught of emotions when Yixing finally closes the distance between their lips. 

 

\--

 

Even if the night air is cool against his skin, Yixing still feels ridiculously warm within as he sits at the end of his bed, gaze pinned on the other man who's sleeping in it. Never in his life would he have imagined this happening, waking up to the sight of Yifan fast asleep beside him, defenseless and much less intimidating than the way he'd usually carry himself. 

Yixing feels pleasantly sore as he rises from the bed to pick up Yifan's robes which have been left discarded on the floor, cheeks burning at the memories of what had just happened earlier that evening as he folds it and leaves it on the stool. Just like his fantasies, Yifan had been exquisitely gentle with him, owing to the fact that Yixing's body is at its most fragile from the illness that's plaguing him. Yifan hadn't wanted to make love to Yixing when he's not even well enough to stand, but Yixing had – very embarrassingly, if he might add – pleaded for Yifan to take all of him. He doesn't think he'll be able to bear it to have Yifan so excruciatingly close to him yet not having Yifan's warmth surrounding him, pushing him off the edge. 

Yifan was immensely patient in stretching Yixing open, not wanting to hurt him any more than is necessary, and Yixing rather likes the way Yifan's finger curl in him, making Yixing dig his heels into the bed for anchorage as the pleasure-pain shoots down the length of his spine. And the way Yifan had mapped Yixing's body with his lips, licking and sucking as he goes lower and lower down, is practically heavenly. It's everything Yixing had imagined how it would be, from the way he had watched Yifan having sex with Song Qian. 

His train of thoughts is disrupted when a shadow passes by his window, and Yixing looks up in surprise. He's sure Yifan had barred every single servant from setting foot near Yixing's chambers while they spent the time getting to know each other in a more intimate level until the servants are summoned, and he wonders who exactly is brave enough to have defied the Emperor's orders. 

His blood runs thoroughly cold, though, when he meets the chilling gaze of none other than Luhan staring back at him beneath the moonlight. Luhan doesn't say a word, even when he sees Yifan's naked form on Yixing's bed, and Yixing's less-than-prim appearance or the mess that is his robes which have been hastily thrown on to keep himself warm, and walks away after several tense moments have passed them by. 

It doesn't stop Yixing from remembering what Luhan had said before – _I can ruin you in so many ways, Zhang Yixing. I will not let you touch Yifan for as long as I live._ – and right now, Yixing's stomach lurches sickeningly when he realises that Luhan might just keep his promise of making Yixing's life miserable. 

He doesn't know what to do about it. 

 

\--

 

He's never felt more betrayed in his life, but his mind is thoroughly numbed for him to feel remotely livid over what he'd just seen. 

When Luhan had heard that Yifan had returned to the palace to pay Yixing a visit, he'd decided to make a trip to Yixing's chambers himself, wanting to see for himself how the man was suffering. He'd wanted to believe that Yixing was a bright man, and that Yixing would take his threats seriously when Luhan had told him that Yifan is off limits. But when he walks past the windows of Yixing's chambers and finds his husband lying naked in another man's sheets, Luhan realises that he had been far too trusting over Yixing. 

He should have known that Yixing is cunning enough to play his health condition to his advantage, and lure Yifan into bed with him, and Luhan is frankly angry with himself for not keeping a closer eye on Zhang Yixing, and for not holding Yifan close enough to him. 

"Your lips are bleeding, master." Kai's voice floods his senses moments later, and Luhan's thrown into a state of brief confusion when he's stopped in his steps. He's sure he has a blank look on his face when Kai swipes a thumb across his bottom lip to wipe the blood off it, and he numbly reaches forward to grab hold of Kai's wrist before his guard can even clean it on his robes. 

The look of surprise on Kai's face is satisfactory when Luhan pulls Kai's hand closer to him and sucks his thumb clean, making sure to make a show out of it. He's not oblivious to the way Kai's cock is slowly hardening beneath his robes, and the temptation to permit Kai to undress him is strong, if only to spite Yifan for his betrayal. 

Then he remembers that Kai's existence is supposed to be kept a secret, and Luhan immediately releases his grip on Kai's wrist. Kai's expressions is awash with disappointment much faster than the shock had registered. 

"How many times must I tell you not to make an appearance in the hallway?" He asks instead, voice surprisingly calm to his own ears despite the rage that's burning within. 

"Apologies, master, but I felt the need to intervene before you hurt yourself even more." Kai bows, then starts after Luhan when the latter continues on his journey back to his chambers. "Would you like me to kill Zhang Yixing on your behalf?"

Trust Kai to be able to pick up on the things which agitate Luhan. He's almost tempted to give Kai the permission to do so, but then Luhan thinks of the many ways he can employ to make Yixing's life a living hell, and he shakes his head in response. "Leave him to me, Jongin." He says quietly, hands resolutely balling up into fists by his side. "I will make sure he regrets for ever allowing Yifan to step into his chambers in the first place."


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rated chapter, please be warned.

Yixing feels disgusted with himself, sometimes.

Up until a couple of months ago, he'd been averse to the idea of sleeping with another man, the thought in itself foreign and abnormal. He'd accidentally walked in on an adulterous couple having sex in an abandoned house before when he was much younger, and had an idea of how things should be between a man and a woman. But he couldn't, for the life of him, fathom how the same act could happen between two men. 

Perhaps, the realisation of his feelings for Yifan and his subsequent acknowledgement and acceptance for it is the catalyst which has changed Yixing's views on a same-sex relationship, while his sickness only played a part in making Yixing realise that things _can_ indeed work out between him and Yifan. 

Right now, even with Luhan's threat hanging above his head, Yixing finds that he can't stop even if he wants to.

There are many a time when he would spend the time alone with Yifan in his study, discussing about the implementation of Yixing's plans to provide aid to the people of China, for them to tide through the harsh drought. By then, almost every government servant has given up the designated portion of their wealth, and the only matter which is left is its distribution. 

Needless to say, having to watch Yifan having sex with Song Qian every single morning only serves to drive Yixing's craving for Yifan's body to be pressed close to him even more. This afternoon is no different from the others, when the scent of sandalwood on Yifan is overbearing when he's seated so close to Yixing as they pore over Yixing's plans, meticulously drawn out on a piece of scroll. 

Yifan's lips is enticingly close when Yixing turns to look at him, and his heart speeds up at the mere thought of them encircling him. He's not sure if he's the one who had initiated it, but Yifan's warm lips are already on his moments later, stealing Yixing's breath away with relative ease. It's no longer an act that's foreign to him, kissing Yifan, and Yixing honestly can't stop himself from deepening it as the heat settles in the pit of his stomach, savouring the way Yifan's running the back of his finger against Yixing's jaw as he sucks on Yixing's tongue. 

"We should get back to work," Yixing whispers against Yifan's lips when they break apart, even if he doesn't really want to. It's insane, how easily he gets lost in the moment when he's with Yifan, and it both scares and excites Yixing.

Yifan's responding laugh is breathless, sweet warmth fanning across Yixing's face. "You say that, yet here you are, kissing me over and over again."

"Want you–" The words are out of Yixing's mouth before he can process it, and his cheeks burn in mortified embarrassment when he realises what he's just said, but Yixing can't stop his eager hands from undoing the knot on Yifan's robes, before running them up the smooth expanse of Yifan's bare chest. 

Yifan's breath hitches when Yixing's fingers graze across an already-stiffened nipple, and Yixing finds out just how hard Yifan already is when he climbs into the Emperor's lap. Yifan doesn't waste much time, pulling the bottle of scented oil he's kept hidden in one of the drawers of the table near them and coating his fingers at once. Yixing doesn't question _why_ , though; he's sure Yifan has had his fair share of sexual encounters with Luhan in these four walls, and the running thoughts are replaced with exquisite pleasure when Yifan's fingers work at stretching him open. 

One finger soon becomes two becomes three, and Yixing's already reduced to a keening mess, his robes falling messily down the slope of his shoulder. This time, Yixing's the one taking charge, his illness left forgotten at the back of his mind as he pushes Yifan down onto the floor cushion. He realises that once he's gotten a taste of Yifan's skin burning hot against his, he can't stop wanting, _craving_ for Yifan to be close to him.

He rather likes the way Yifan goes wide-eyed when he grabs hold of Yifan's cock, positioning himself above it before Yixing sinks down in one fluid motion. The new stretch fires off his pain receptors for a moment, and when he gets used to the way Yifan fills him, Yixing steadies himself with palms on Yifan's chest, and starts working up a steady pace. 

Yifan's name is the only word that falls out of Yixing's mouth when his hand moves to spread Yixing further apart, squeezing the insides of his thighs lightly in encouragement. It drives Yixing on, giving him the courage to grind down against Yifan's groin, pulling sweet, sweet moans from the both of them, his nails raking angry red lines down the expanse of Yifan's back when Yifan moves to suck at the sensitive juncture between his neck and shoulder. 

Yixing doesn't last very long this time, spilling white over their abdomens with a short, stuttering gasp with several expert jerks of Yifan's wrist. Yifan follows soon after, hips still snapping up languidly albeit erratically against Yixing's as he rides out his orgasm, and they both collapse in a pile of tangled limbs atop the floor cushions. The sore in Yixing's muscles are distracting but not unwelcomed; Yifan only makes it better by running his warm hand down Yixing's back, rubbing the last of the ache away.

Now that he doesn't have lust nor passion clouding his thoughts, though, the uncertainty creeps back into Yixing's mind. The way Luhan had looked at him on the day Yixing had consummated his relationship with Yifan remains fresh at the back of his eyelids – eyes filled with hatred, anger, _resentment_ for Yixing's mere presence in the palace and for stealing away what's meant to be _Luhan's_ – and Yixing bites down on his swollen lower lip, feeling the guilt washing over him again. He has never approved of another person being the third wheel to what's supposed to be a perfect relationship, yet here he is, going against everything he has ever stood for. 

The amount of hypocrisy he's showing makes his stomach churn unpleasantly. 

"You seem to have a lot of things on your mind. What is it that's worrying you?" Yifan murmurs against the back of his ear just then, as if sensing how distracted Yixing is. "Is it about the aid for the drought?" 

"Luhan–" The name is slipping off Yixing's tongue before he can even stop it, and he flushes when Yifan's hold around his waist tightens. He hates that he can feel the tenseness in Yifan's body. "–he will be upset if he finds out." Yixing doesn't elaborate further, trusting Yifan to understand what he's trying to put across. Luhan has never been approving of Yifan's decision to take Yixing in as his second consort, a stand which isn't a secret to even the lowliest of servants, and Yixing's sure Yifan knows about it.

He stops short of thinking how unfair it is of Yifan to keep them both hanging on a precarious balance, a dangerous game of push and pull which Luhan _will_ probably do anything to ensure that he emerges victorious. 

The way Yifan exhales into Yixing's hair is burdened. "I will find a way to let him know."

Except, Yixing thinks wryly, that Luhan already does. 

 

\--

 

"I heard you _finally_ consummated your marriage with Consort Zhang."

The statement has a greater impact in the early morning, when Yifan is still struggling to shake the sleep out of his eyes over breakfast, and he's instantly awake. Another body stiffens beside him, and Yifan's stomach drops at the thought that it might be Luhan. 

This isn't the way Yifan had wanted Luhan to find out that he might actually feel something _more_ for Yixing, and had given in to Yixing's wishes of being with him. He'd wanted to sit Luhan down in his chambers, and slowly talked about the shift in their relationship dynamics, explaining to Luhan that his love for Luhan will never change despite the new addition in his life. While it's not odd for an Emperor to have a large _hougong_ , Yifan hasn't forgotten about his promise – to love Luhan and Luhan alone for as long as he lives. It was with that thought that Yifan had decided to boldly go against the traditions which have been set in stone since several millennia ago by their ancestors, of taking another man as his Imperial Consort. And yet. 

He guesses he should have known by now that his plans will always be thwarted in one way or another, especially when Luhan and Yixing are involved in the very same equation.

He doesn't know what's worse, though – Luhan being frozen rigid from shock in Yifan's twisted imagination, or the Luhan who's currently seated to his right, calmly picking at the rice grains in his bowl and lifting them to his mouth without showing any signs of agitation. If there's anything Yifan has learned about Luhan in their almost-six years of marriage, it's the fact that Luhan's more terrifying when he's emotionless. On his other side, Yixing has turned very pale, a painful reminiscent of the day he'd fallen terribly ill and had fainted. Suddenly, neither Yifan nor Yixing felt very inclined to eat anymore, their appetite dissipating as quickly as the tense silence had settled in the room, chopsticks left forgotten on their bowls. 

What makes Yifan absolutely sick in the stomach is how the Empress Dowager absolutely loves to air their dirty laundry in public, in full view of their servants who look every bit uncomfortable with staying in the room with them, not quite belonging yet none having the courage to walk right out. Then again, Yifan surmises that his own mother lives to watch his relationship with Luhan break apart bit by slow bit. He's not lost on the fact that she has never liked Luhan; despises him, even. 

Yifan clenches his fist. "Mother, please–" 

"Please, _what_ , my dear son?" His mother smiles back saccharinely at him, and he can't help wondering if she had lost even the last bit of her humanity when his father had passed on. The flashbacks of the loving mother when Yifan had been little seemed so much like a distant memory, almost as though it had been nothing but a hallucination Yifan had come up with to conceal his eyes from the monster that she actually is. "Is it not a good thing? I had been on the verge of believing that this whole marriage was a _hoax_."

Yifan finds himself dumbfounded by the statement, mind suddenly empty of words. While it _had_ been a ploy on his part to get Yixing into Court at first, things have changed along the way, and Yifan is keen on keeping it like this. He's not proud of his initial intentions, anyway; he intends to make amends for all the hurt and grievances he's caused Yixing, but at the same time, he seems to be causing more misery to Luhan as well. 

While Yifan is still rummaging through his brains for a sound argument, the Empress Dowager seems to have interpreted it as a sign of defeat on his part, and smirks as she turns on Luhan instead. "How about you, Consort Lu? You seem to be uncharacteristically lacking in opinion regarding this matter." 

Beneath the table, Yixing reaches for Yifan's hand and squeezes, a sure sign of his anxiety. He kind of wants Luhan to do the same – to do _anything_ at all – and make his insecurities known to Yifan, but that's where Luhan's tenacity comes into play. Luhan is strong, persistent, _prideful_ in ways that Yifan is not, and those were the very qualities which had made Yifan fall in love with him in the first place, in Luhan who could match him on an equal standing. 

Sometimes – only sometimes – Yifan wishes Luhan would rely on him a little more, and trust in him enough to let his weaknesses be seen by Yifan. 

That's when a silent clatter of chopsticks against its wooden holder rings through the hall, jolting Yifan out of his reverie in time to see Luhan exhaling through his pink lips, his eyes closed shut. Luhan's intonation is still chillingly calm when he speaks up for the first time that morning. "His Majesty is a grown man, Your Highness. What say do I have, if he wants to be physically intimate with the person he desires? You cannot possibly expect me to object to my husband's wishes."

It seems to be the wrong thing to say, considering how the Empress Dowager can't relish in Luhan's misery when he's not letting any of his emotions be known, and the Empress Dowager flushes red to the chest. "You _insolent_ –"

Yifan thinks it's the perfect time to interrupt before the argument escalates. "Mother, stop this–"

Luhan, on the other hand, rises gracefully from the floor cushion and bows at the Empress Dowager before she can say more. "If you would excuse me," is all that he says, before he's walking out of the dining hall, leaving a thick blanket of tension behind.

Seeing that this is his chance to explain things, Yifan quickly excuses himself as well, ignoring his mother's yells for him to _sit right back down_ , but not before he turns to Yixing and gives him the imperative to return to his chambers as soon as possible. Despite the fact that he wants to chase after Luhan, Yifan isn't comfortable with the idea of leaving Yixing alone with his mother and allow him to suffer through her cruel words, either.

Yifan can only hope that it's not too late. 

 

\--

 

For all that he has requested to speak to Luhan, Yifan is exceptionally quiet, his eyes downcast, as if not having the courage to hold Luhan's gaze. _Good_ , Luhan thinks viciously, because at least Yifan knows he's in the wrong. Or so Luhan hopes. He doesn't even know why he bothers hanging on any longer, but then the memories of Yifan's promises return to him, the ones Yifan had made in the dark when they both had their limbs tangled together and none of the scrutiny from the palace denizens they're receiving now. 

_I will be there for you until the very end. Until you decide that you do not want me any longer_ , Yifan had said, and Luhan thinks that's the fundamental problem. Despite learning of Yifan's newfound affection for Zhang Yixing, Luhan _still_ wants Yifan. He doesn't think he can leave even if he wanted to, because his heart remains wholly Yifan's at the end of the day – something which Kai has a lot to say about, if he had the courage to speak his mind. Luhan's not blind to the way Kai's facial expressions would sour whenever Luhan tells him he's going to see Yifan; he merely chooses to ignore it. 

Unable to bear with the tense silence which has enveloped Yifan's chambers any longer, Luhan sighs. "Do you intend to say anything at all, or are you content with keeping me here while you keep staring at the floor?" He says, injecting some annoyance into his words. "I can and will walk away if you prefer keeping silent."

It's effective enough a threat to get Yifan talking, at least. Luhan watches as Yifan's fingers curl into the fabric of his robes, a lesser-known habit of Yifan's when he's nervous. Yifan almost never lets his insecurities show, except when he's with Luhan, and Luhan hopes that at least that part still rings true. He's a firm believer that allowing too many people know of your weaknesses will eventually lead to your downfall. 

"I had wanted to tell you, you know." The words are simple, probably harmless, but still it riles Luhan up greatly. He has to take in several deep breaths to calm himself down, knowing that yelling at each other this early into the conversation will do nothing good to their relationship.

"Then why did you not? You had your chances." Luhan asks, hoping his intonation sounds calm enough even though he's nowhere near calm internally.

This time, Yifan looks at him – _really_ looks at him. Luhan hates that he can see the deep-seated guilt reflected in Yifan's eyes, which portrays his truest inner thoughts. If there's one thing Luhan has learned about Yifan in all the years they've been together, it's that Yifan's eyes never lie. Maybe it would be easier to hate Yifan, if his lover didn't feel the least bit remorseful about his emotional infidelity. 

"How do I even begin telling you?" Yifan croaks, his facial expressions miserable and _broken_. It's unfair; Yifan's not the one who's supposed to look broken. Luhan is. "I know what I promised you. I remember."

"Why?" It's but a one-worded question, yet it holds a multitude of other queries which cannot be adequately expressed without Luhan breaking down in front of the man he loved and trusted the most.

_Why Zhang Yixing?_

_Why did you let your heart stray?_

_Why did you betray my trust in you?_

_Why do you keep hurting me, when you've promised you would never?_

_Why do I still love you despite everything?_

He doesn't know what to feel when Yifan reaches forward to hold his hand, pressing a tender kiss to Luhan's knuckles. His heart aches so badly at the gesture, and it takes all of Luhan's resolve to not tremble, keeping the tears at bay to the best of his abilities. He's not strong enough, and he knows that now, when he risks pushing Yifan away if he pulls the wrong move. 

He _wants_ to walk away from this life, from Yifan because of his betrayal, but the fear grapples him instantly because he can't even remember how his life had been before he had met Yifan. Yifan _is_ his life, now, and he's terrified of losing Yifan. He's lived for so long with Yifan that he can't imagine living without him, or having to live in a situation where he's no longer favoured and discarded to the side.

He can't. Luhan _just can't_.

"I don't know what to do, Luhan." Yifan's words are quiet, his lips brushing against Luhan's knuckles with every syllable uttered. Luhan's surprised when a drop of moisture slides onto his skin, and when he realises Yifan's shedding silent tears, his heart breaks all over again. He remembers Yifan telling him of his fears back when he was still the Crown Prince who was on the verge of becoming the ruler of their nation, of not being a good enough Emperor for his people, of losing himself to cruelty along the way like the merciless being the Empress Dowager has become. It was the first and last time Luhan had ever seen Yifan cry, and Luhan had chased the fears away for Yifan with gentle kisses, whom had reciprocated by making sweet, sweet love to Luhan. The memory seems so distant, now. "I still love you dearly – no one can ever, _ever_ replace you – but I don't know how to stop myself from loving Yixing, either." 

"You are being cruel." Luhan whispers as he feels his heart being ripped right out of his chest, the pain seizing him like he's being stabbed repeatedly by a sword and allowed to bleed to death. "To yourself. To me. To Yixing." 

Yifan's grip on his hand only strengthens. "I know. I know, and I am sorry. I am _sorry_. I am willing to go on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, if that is what you want." 

Luhan screws his eyes shut, and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for another fresh wave of pain at the words he's about to say. "I wish I could hate you for this, but I can't." He says to Yifan, pressing his forehead against Yifan's. This is the man he has vowed to love all his life, a vow he will never be able to break, despite Yifan having another man in his heart, in his life, and Luhan hates himself for this. Hates that he isn't as cruel as he'd been. Kai is right to be disappointed in him. "So love him if you have to. I will not stand in your way."

Yifan snaps up in surprise at Luhan's words, as if not believing in what he's hearing. "But–" 

"But make no mistake. If you love another after Yixing, I _will_ cut off all ties with you, and walk out of your life once and for all." Luhan issues an ultimatum, because he doesn't think he can tolerate another person stealing Yifan's attention away from him.

Yifan doesn't have to know that he will do everything in his power to break Yixing apart, however. Oh, no, he will not forgive the man who has stolen a portion of his lover's heart away from him. He will never.


	30. Chapter 30

Kai remembers the first time he had met Luhan, all those years ago. 

He hadn't been any older than the age of eleven, a foot out of childhood and another foot into adolescence, when his father had brought him to a large mansion located in Luoyang. Kai had always known that his father worked for a family in Luoyang, but had never asked about the specifics because he was, quoting his mother, _too young to understand_. 

Then again, his mother hadn't known how his father had trained him in the mastery of weapons ever since he was eight years of age, as well as run him through most forms of martial arts. By then, Kai had lost all forms of his innocence, sacrificing his childhood for the sake of taking over his father's trade, the light in his eyes much too sharp for someone of his age. 

It was Luhan's fifteenth birthday when Kai was introduced to him by his father. Kai remembers how his eyes had grown wide at the sight of his new master, graceful and elegant as he sat on the seat beside his father. The smile on Luhan's face had been amiable as he received well-wishes from his guests, most of them adults whom Luhan likely didn't know on a personal level. Something had piqued Kai's curiosity then; the smile didn't exactly reach his eyes. It was polite, that much was true, but it was distant and _cold_. 

Luhan's hand had been equally as frigid when Kai was introduced to him personally, out of the sights of his banquet guests, and the smile which had curled on his lips was almost cruel, sending shivers down Kai's spine when Kai moved to bow in greeting. 

"A small boy, you are. Are you certain he is fit enough to guard me?" Luhan had said, tone emotionless as he regarded Kai, shortly after Kai's father had informed that Kai would be serving as his protector. It's only then that Kai learned of his family's trade, to be the protectors of the descendants of the Lu family, and it's Kai's turn to serve the youngest member of the lineage.

"I will not fail you," Kai had very indignantly retorted, knowing that he had learnt from the best. His stature shouldn't even matter, if he's able to safeguard his responsibilities. It was a rude thing to say, the eleven-year-old Kai knew, but he wasn't about to accept a backhanded insult aimed at his father sitting down. 

It was only then that some form of emotion had graced Luhan's beautiful features, when Luhan challenged him to a show of skills. Kai had accepted without any second thoughts despite his father's warning to be careful, because how skillful can a scholar be in the arts of self-defense? 

Kai had learned very belatedly – and _very_ painfully – that he shouldn't have judged a book by its cover, though, when he found himself pinned on the ground within five moves, with Luhan seated on top of him and the sharp edge of a dagger pressed against his carotid. Luhan had still been close to emotionless then, the empty smile on his lips frigidly beautiful as he stared down at Kai, applying just a little more pressure on the weapon and drawing a trickle of blood from the break in Kai's skin. 

"Lesson number one–" Luhan had said, the fingers of his free hand painting a trail down Kai's jaw and down to his chest. "–always be merciless, and never pull your moves even when faced with a seemingly weaker opponent, or you will live to regret it."

In that instance, Kai was mesmerised – deeply attracted to his new master, even – and had vowed to stay by Luhan's side for as long as he's allowed to. 

Right now, though, Luhan is going against the very advice he had given to Kai all those years ago by showing mercy to the man who has stolen part of Luhan's position in the palace. He has long since accepted the fact that Luhan is deeply in love with Wu Yifan, albeit begrudgingly, and has decided to turn a blind eye on their relationship, even though Kai really wants Luhan to look at _him_ and only him. He's counting his blessings, knowing he's lucky enough that Luhan still wants to keep him by his side, even after Luhan has married into the palace and has become the Emperor's Consort. It merely shows Luhan's immense trust in Kai, and for that Kai feels proud. 

And in comes Zhang Yixing, a commoner unlike Luhan's high-born status who seduces the Emperor and steals the Emperor's attention away from his master. In all his life, Kai has viewed Luhan as a headstrong person who will get his way no matter what. Even if Luhan _has_ softened a little after meeting Yifan, he's still the dignified person Kai has known all these years, silently authoritative whenever he speaks in Court. But after Zhang Yixing has entered the palace, Luhan seems to have lost all his will to fight, to hold on to the position that is rightfully his. 

Kai has seen the murderous intent in Luhan's eyes whenever he looks at Zhang Yixing, especially after Zhang Yixing had consummated his relationship with the Emperor. If it were in the past, when Luhan had been more callous and merciless, Zhang Yixing would have been _dead_ by now. He can't understand why Luhan is deliberately prolonging Yixing's life, when he has multiple opportunities to drive a dagger through Yixing's chest, and whenever he tries to question Luhan about it, Luhan would either parry his questions with another subject, or he would threaten Kai into silence. 

Tonight is no different, and Kai's heart _aches_ for Luhan's sake as he watches Luhan crumble before his very own eyes, tears falling down his face as he locks his lips with Yifan's. Kai can see the desperation in Luhan's eyes, frantically holding onto Yifan as he slowly undresses for the man, allowing Yifan to map his skin with his tainted lips and turn him into a beautiful wreck, fingers raking down Yifan's naked back as Yifan pounds into him. Kai is no stranger to watching Luhan and Yifan make love from the shadows, even if it never fails to shred him up within, but this is the last straw. If he can't have Luhan to himself, then he will at least ensure that Luhan is happy with the man he chooses. 

With that resolve in mind, Kai tightens his grip on the dagger which has been bestowed to him by Luhan's family all those years ago – the very same dagger which Luhan had almost killed him with, if he so pleased – and disappears into the night. 

 

\--

 

Yixing awakes with a start, his eyes darting around nervously as he tries to take in his surroundings. His room is pitch black, the light from the moon barely illuminating its interior from the way the blinds are draped shut, but his heart is pounding hard against his chest, the gushing of blood loud in his ears. 

Yixing is by no means a heavy-sleeper, and he's dead sure someone had crept into his room, if the soft creak of the door on its hinges is anything to go by. He wonders if Yifan has decided to pay him a visit in the dead of the night – he's done that several times by now, mainly to check on Yixing's wellbeing when he had been ill – and Yixing grows curious. 

Cautiously, Yixing peels the covers off him, and quietly pads across the room. The wooden flooring is cold against his bare feet, causing Yixing to shudder, but he pulls his sleeping robe closed around him, hoping that it will help conserve some heat. 

This is one of those times when Yixing curses the fact that his chambers is far too large. It may as well pass off as a small house in a commoner's standards, judging by the way it's segregated into several different areas – the sleeping chamber, the receiving area, and the dressing area. 

Slowly, his eyes get used to the dark, and Yixing peers around in search of his late night guest. He doesn't say a word, though, not wanting to give away the fact that he's awake. 

That's when he hears a swishing sound cutting through the air next to his ear, and Yixing's first instinct is to back away, nearly stumbling over his own feet in the process. He goes wide-eyed when he's met with the sight of a masked person who's wielding a dagger, and his mind automatically deduces that it's an assassin coming after his life. The question is: why? 

There's no time for him to search for an answer, though, not when the assassin drives his dagger down at Yixing once again. It's a good thing Yixing had been agile enough to duck out of the way, and he manages to buy himself some time when the assassin's dagger gets caught in the wooden beam. The fear of death almost has him paralysed, and his throat has clamped up out of panic, rendering him unable to shout for help even though he knows there are palace guards patrolling the parameters. 

That's when Yixing's mind clicks in response to an idea, and immediately he runs towards the side table which he knows has a vase on display. He doesn't even hesitate when he brings the vase down onto the wooden flooring, smashing it into pieces to attract attention. The assassin is relentless despite the commotion, continuously slashing at Yixing until he's able to find purchase, and Yixing thinks it's the end of him when his knees get caught against the side of his bed and he falls backwards on top of it. 

Trapped. 

"Your Highness! What is the matter?!" 

The doors to his room bursts open just before the assassin deals the finishing blow, revealing the palace guards who have come to his rescue. Yixing catches the assassin's surprised features beneath the moonlight that floods the room, but before he can commit it to memory, the assassin has already jumped out of the window, making a hasty escape before he's caught and sentenced to death for attempting murder on the Emperor's Consort. 

It's only then that Yixing releases the breath he didn't even know he had been holding, and realises that he's actually drenched in cold sweat from the ordeal. 

He doesn't even know what to think of the situation. 

 

\--

 

The atmosphere is tense in the dining hall on the very next morning, albeit for a very different reason. Even the Empress Dowager appears disturbed, which is a rare event on its own.

The news about the attempted assassination of Yixing had spread like wildfire overnight, and although Yixing had wanted to keep things a secret, the incident eventually makes its way to Yifan's ears, anyway. To say that Yifan was livid when he had heard about it would be a gross understatement.

"Who could possibly plan an assassination attempt on Yixing, anyway?" Yifan asks gruffly, feeling rather agitated by the lax security at Yixing's chambers. The assassination attempt shouldn't even have happened, if the guards had been on higher alert. He has considered punishing the guards who were supposed to be on patrol the previous night, but Yixing has managed to talk him out of it in the end. 

Beside him, Yixing appears incredibly pale, probably still shaken over last night's incident. "I do wish I knew. I could not identify the assassin, even though his eyes had looked familiar to me." He says, voice quiet. 

"I would not be surprised," Luhan speaks up just then, and Yifan snaps around to look at him. "He has single-handedly offended at least three-quarters of the Court with his.... rather _bold_ suggestion."

"Luhan–" Yifan hisses in warning, surprised that Luhan would say such a thing in full view of everyone else. 

"What?" Luhan asks defensively. "Am I wrong, Your Majesty? Consort Zhang has single-handedly offended three-quarters of the Court with his suggestion of taking part of their amassed wealth to help out the citizens who are in need of aid and food. If you have to find the culprit, then everyone would automatically qualify as the perpetrator who had hired the assassin." 

Junmyeon and Chen, who have both been requested to join their private meeting that morning, appears uncomfortable at the argument happening between Yifan and Luhan. Yifan doesn't blame them, though; he knows how it must look to them, when Yifan and Luhan have never argued in public eye in all the years they've been married. He does, however, swallow the anger which rushes up to greet him at Luhan's words, not wanting his mother to see the cracks in their relationship. He will hold on steadfastly, for Luhan's sake if not for his. 

To his surprise, though, Yixing nods in agreement, but he doesn't miss the way Yixing is looking at Luhan, as if almost disbelieving. The suspicion is gone in a flash, however. "I have to agree with _gege_ on this." Yixing says as he worries on his bottom lip. "There are those who have been outwardly disapproving of my suggestion, hostile even. It will be difficult to isolate those who are guilty and those who are not."

"But it is not feasible to launch an all-out investigation on everyone, either." Junmyeon voices up for the first time that morning, and Yifan can see where his advisor is coming from. If Yifan were to investigate all of his ministers and government officials who hold a significant enough position to be considered under the pool of contributors, it would seem as though he doesn't trust _any_ of them. It would be a terrible idea to do so, especially when it might incite greater dissent amongst his men. As if Yifan isn't already drawing enough flak from the ministers of his Court for his decision to marry both Luhan and Yixing. 

"Advisor Kim has a good point." Yifan concedes with a small, thankful smile at Junmyeon, who responds in kind. "Hence I have decided to strengthen the security around Yixing's chambers for the time being, and appoint a personal guard for the sake of Yixing's safety. If there are some leads with regards to the assailant's identity–"

"Oh!" Yixing exclaims just then, cheeks pinking when he remembers how rude it must seem for him to interrupt the Emperor's sentence. Yifan waves him on and allows him to continue regardless; he's not particular about formalities when his spouses are involved, anyway. "I have actually found something which might shine a light on the identity of the assassin–" He says, and proceeds to dig around the sash tied at his waist, but frowns in the end when he can't seem to locate the object he needs. "That's odd. I must have dropped it somewhere." 

Yifan pats him gingerly on the shoulder, a silent reassurance that it's okay. "Whether or not we have the object will not make much of a difference to our investigations, I suppose. There will be those who might attempt to frame another for their wrongdoings, after all." 

"What plans do you have, then, Your Majesty?" Luhan asks, seemingly interested, which strikes Yifan as odd considering how he doesn't really concern himself with matters relating to Yixing. Yifan isn't blind nor ignorant enough to not notice Luhan's hostility towards Yixing, but decides that Luhan will possibly need more time to warm up to Zhang Yixing. 

"One of my personal guards, Baekhyun, will be appointed to guard Yixing in the meantime. I will have someone else investigate further into this assassination attempt as well." He replies, lips pressed into a thin line. He can only hope that their investigations will be fruitful in the end. 

 

\--

 

A resounding slap reverberates through the wide space the moment Luhan steps into his chambers and finds Kai already waiting for him. He hadn't planned on pulling such a drastic move, but Luhan had lost control of his temper at the mere thought of what would have transpired that morning, if he hadn't acted upon it fast enough. 

It's a good thing Luhan had chanced upon Yixing scrutinising a jade insignia before they'd convened at the hall with Yifan to discuss about Yixing's attempted assassination that morning. On normal days, Luhan wouldn't have batted an eyelash over the sight, but this day, he couldn't possibly sit back and allow Yixing to present it to Yifan in full view of everyone else. Thankfully, he had managed to grab it when he'd intentionally bumped into Yixing earlier. 

The jade insignia is of course more than familiar to Luhan, even when he's viewing it from afar. It's a symbol which represents none other than Luhan's family; this particular jade insignia is passed down from guardian to guardian, and is meant to alert the others regarding their standing. Not many might recognise the insignia these days, considering how Luhan's family has lived in reclusion for many years, but someone of Yifan's status – or, God forbid, the Empress Dowager – would be able to remember its significance at first sight. 

Luhan can't afford for that to happen. Not now. Not ever. 

Kai is uncharacteristically silent when Luhan storms past him and takes a seat on his bed, breathing laboured from anger. "Do you have any idea how you have nearly cost me dearly for your blunder?" He seethes, fixing Kai with a glare. 

In all the years Kai has served him, Luhan has never gotten this angry at him. He would like to think he favours Kai a lot, really, because the boy is very endearing most of the time, but he simply can't overlook this mistake. It's one that will threaten to expose his family's existence, and ruin his life forever. Right when Luhan is trying hard to fight against Yixing from the shadows and keep his place by Yifan's side, he can't ever tolerate such missteps, especially not from someone who is as careful as Kai – usually, anyway. He has taught Kai to be better than this. 

"I know no amount of apologies will soothe your anger, master." Kai bows with his hand crossed before his chest, the ultimate sign of his obedience, and Luhan hates that he's put a distance between them. "Punish me as you see fit." 

Luhan briefly considers doing so, but changes his mind in the end. All those years ago, when Kai had first walked through the doors of the Lu family home in Luoyang, Luhan had seen the pure, unadulterated fear in his eyes when Luhan had pressed a dagger against his throat, and he'd vowed to never instil such terror in Kai – _Jongin_ – ever again. No matter how angry he is at Jongin, Luhan will _not_ succumb to his emotions. One slap is more than enough punishment, when Luhan has Jongin's hands figuratively tied behind his back. 

"Why?" Luhan asks instead. "Why did you pull such a drastic move? Do you know how much danger you have put yourself in by infiltrating Zhang Yixing's chambers? You could have been _killed_." 

"It is all for your sake, master." Jongin replies, raising his gaze to meet Luhan's for the first time since Luhan had entered the room. Luhan can see the determination and, as ironic as it might sound – childlike innocence – reflected in Jongin's eyes. All his life, Jongin has lived to serve Luhan, and knows of nothing else. That fact is more than clear to Luhan at this particular moment, and he actually feels _sorry_ for the boy. "I could not stand watching you torture yourself over the existence of Zhang Yixing, and I thought I should take matters into my own hands, when it is obvious to me that you could not commit the deed you so desperately crave." 

Luhan swallows the invisible lump in his throat at Jongin's comment. _Is_ he so terribly transparent to his guard?

Regardless, Luhan steels himself and closes his eyes, not wanting Jongin to read into his thoughts. He _cares_ for Jongin, and he doesn't want him to get hurt, but for the sake of putting Jongin out of harm's way – Luhan _knows_ how lethal Yifan's Secret Guards are, and he knows that Jongin is no match for them – he has to be cruel to Jongin.

"Stay out of my business, Kai. I will deal with this myself." 

He doesn't miss the subtle clenching of Kai's fist, evidently unhappy with Luhan's decision. But this is for the best.


	31. Chapter 31

"Your Majesty," Junmyeon greets the moment he steps into Yifan's study, though one stern look from Yifan has him grinning sheepishly and amending himself almost immediately. "Fine, _Yifan_. Can you spare some time for a friend?"   
  
Yifan casts a look at the amount of scrolls awaiting his perusal on the table, and decides that a headache is best to be avoided in the mean time. He's been hard at work for the last couple of hours, after all, and Junmyeon has interrupted at a good enough time for him to take a rest. "Anything for you, Junmyeon. What is it?" He smiles wanly and gestures for Junmyeon to take the floor cushion across the table from Yifan, which Junmyeon duly complies to and makes himself comfortable.   
  
"I wanted to congratulate you; the changes you have made to the national policies are receiving positive feedback from the citizens." Junmyeon says, smiling softly. "It is a good start, at the very least. People are still suffering, but much less with the aid you are providing them with."   
  
Yifan leans back and raises an eyebrow at Junmyeon. His advisor and good friend almost _never_ seeks Yifan out intentionally, just to congratulate him on a policy gone right. He would usually do that when he's already in the midst of a discussion with Yifan, and it's more than enough to raise Yifan's suspicions. "Is that what you really wanted to talk to me about?" Yifan queries, "Because you and I both know it will not distract me from this mountain of scrolls long enough. Come on, we have both known each other long enough to keep beating around the bush."   
  
That's when Junmyeon's smile turns sheepish, but it mellows down rather quickly. "I know you might not be overly thrilled with the idea of talking about your private life, but I really am concerned about the things going on behind the scenes, Yifan." He says, gaze imploring. "You do not seem to be very happy as of late. I worry."   
  
Yifan pauses to consider his options. While he may very well dismiss Junmyeon from his study on the pretense that he intends to continue with his work, just to wriggle out of their current topic, Yifan also knows how burdened he actually is deep within. There isn't anyone else Yifan could talk to about his troubles in the palace, apart from Junmyeon. Zitao will take Luhan's side no matter what, considering his dislike for Yixing, but Junmyeon is the most neutral person Yifan has ever had the pleasure of meeting. Even if Junmyeon has known Luhan far longer than he had Yixing, Yifan holds on to that tiny ray of hope that Junmyeon could actually give him an objective enough analysis about his troubles.  
  
In the end, he sighs and rubs at his temples with the balls of his hands. "Luhan is upset over my relationship with Yixing. I'm sure you know." He says, and Junmyeon lets slip an audible 'ah' of understanding, after which he promptly flushes red at his insolence.   
  
"I apologise, Yifan, but I did not mean to be vocal about that." He says sheepishly, but presses on when Yifan doesn't say a word. "It's just that I have seen your relationship with Luhan grow over the years – somewhat, anyway – and I have witnessed it getting strained over the last couple of months. Have you spoken to him, tried to reason?"   
  
Yifan raises an eyebrow at Junmyeon, feeling a little hopeful. "You do not think it is wrong for me to have fallen for Yixing, then?"   
  
The slight frown on Junmyeon's face is telling, and what little flicker of hope which Yifan has harboured dies out immediately. "I apologise again, Yifan, but you know I am all for a monogamous relationship," he says, but is quick to amend himself. " _But_ I understand how you must feel. I know you, Yifan; you are deeply attracted to intellectuals. People who might be able to aid you in running the country. Both Luhan and Yixing exhibit the same traits."  
  
Yifan mimicks Junmyeon's frown. "Then you must be devastated that I have not fallen for you." He comments in lieu of a joke, which Junmyeon thankfully catches and laughs aloud, unrestrained.  
  
"Rather than a soulmate, I believe you think of me as a confidant. Otherwise you will not be entertaining me on this subject. Also, Luhan will probably call for my head to be lobbed off, immediately." Junmyeon replies, grin mischievous, but it mellows down after a brief moment. "Honestly, though, I know and believe you must love Luhan still, but you need to understand that it is natural for him to feel hurt. _I_ would, too, if I were to be in the same position. It is not easy for one to accept that the person they love, loves another."   
  
Again, Yifan massages his temples, feeling the headache looming. Why did he think it was a good idea to talk to someone else about his private life again? "Do you really believe that I, did not even for one moment, stop to consider Luhan's feelings?"   
  
Junmyeon shrugs. "You cannot exactly stop yourself from loving someone, or _know_ that you are already in love with someone, until it is too late. Case in point."   
  
He hates that Junmyeon has raised a valid point. "If we follow your argument–" Yifan hedges, feeling rather guilty deep within because he _knows_ that he's really just creating excuses for himself. It doesn't make him feel any less sorry for everything that has happened. But it certainly doesn't make him wish that he could do everything all over again, or change a thing if he could, either. Yixing is impossible not to love. "–then it is also close to impossible for one to suddenly fall out of love."   
  
His words invite a chuckle out of Junmyeon, whom shakes his head in amusement. "That, I am unable to dispute, Yifan." He says, before reaching across the table to pat Yifan on his hand. Yifan's chest is promptly filled with warmth at the gesture. At least there's one person in the world who will stand by his side and support him through his ups and downs. He wonders what he's done to deserve such a good friend like Junmyeon. "I can only wish you the best, and I hope you will patch up your relationship with Luhan soon enough."  
  
Yifan smiles sincerely for the first time in a long while. "Thank you, Junmyeon. It is much needed."  
  
  
  
\--  
  
  
  
"Hard at work as always, I see."   
  
A familiar voice makes Yixing look up from the book he's been poring over for at least the last hour or so, and Yixing beams when he recognises the face. "It has been a while, _laoshi_. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we have not spoken since the marriage."   
  
"Indeed," Jungsoo smiles back, revealing a dimple on his left cheek which Yixing has never noticed before. Somehow, it makes Jungsoo appear a lot younger than his age. "But it cannot be helped. You have been busy with adjusting to life in the palace, and adapting to your new role as a part of the Court."   
  
"I hope you have been well," Yixing raises to bow at him, only to be stopped by Jungsoo with a hand on his elbow.   
  
Jungsoo laughs when Yixing fixes him with a look of confusion. "You are the Emperor's Consort now, Your Highness. I know you are respectful, but it will not do for someone of your status to bow to me."  
  
Yixing scrunches his nose in distaste. The hierarchy of titles in the palace is something he will never get used to. "Then please, sit. Have a chat with me."   
  
"Indeed, that is my intention." Jungsoo acquiesces. "I hope you have not been terribly shaken by the incident the other day. It is beyond terrible that someone should think about doing that to you."   
  
Yixing waves him off, trying to shrug as nonchalantly as possible. No one needs to know that he would sometimes find himself jolting awake in his sleep, covered in cold sweat from the nightmares that continue to plague him long after the attempt on his life. "I'm fine, _laoshi_. Yifan has assigned a guard to protect me, and he has been doing a good job thus far."   
  
"Baekhyun, was it?" Jungsoo enquires with interest, his face lighting up. "He is a delight to be around with, but I hope he hasn't been chatting your ear off. He can be quite talkative when he gets excited."  
  
A laugh bubbles out of Yixing's throat at the comment. He remembers fondly of the first time he'd been introduced to Baekhyun, who'd greeted him with full decorum and stiffness. It only took half a day of being around Yixing for Baekhyun to completely dissolve into someone akin to a hyperactive child, joking around whenever he could. Needless to say, Yixing has never had a dull day since.   
  
"I know what you mean." Yixing tells with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, and Jungsoo laughs as well.   
  
That's when something of interest catches Jungsoo's attention. "Is that The Tractates you're reading?"   
  
Yixing's confused for a brief moment, before his gaze flickers down towards the book that lay open on the table, and he nods. "Yes, the title caught my attention while I was browsing through the shelves. Its content is interesting enough. I can't stop reading even if I wanted to. Shame the name of the author isn't indicated on it. I would be very interested to read everything else he has written."  
  
It's a book which discusses on a broad range of subjects, mostly pertaining to good governance and the nation's many laws. Yixing has always had avid interest in such topics, and it's an eye-opening experience to read someone else's thoughts on these very subjects. It's vastly different from the times when he would have debates with Yifan in the past, and the writing in the book gives off the impression that the author knows _a lot_ about what's happening behind the scenes of the Imperial Court.   
  
An amused smile lights up Jungsoo's features, and he leans forward to regard Yixing. "I know who the author is, but you might not believe in me if I told you."   
  
"Oh?" Yixing muses, feeling rather excited. "Why don't you try?"   
  
"This book–" Jungsoo reaches over to pick the book up from the table, being mindful enough to keep his thumb wedged between the open pages where Yixing had been perusing before Jungsoo's interruption. There's a fond look on his face as he flips through the pages, filled with columns upon columns of neatly-printed writing. Apart from the contents of the book itself, Yixing had been in awe with its penmanship, and he wonders exactly how long it had taken the writer to have completed it. "–is written by none other than Consort Lu himself."  
  
The revelation nearly has Yixing falling off his seat in shock. "Luhan is the one who penned this book? But how could it be possible?!"   
  
"See what I mean?" Jungsoo raises a brow at him, and Yixing promptly blushes. "Consort Lu may not look the part, but he is a bright soul, always brimming with ideas. I am sure you have come across the works which have been put up near the Emperor's study."   
  
"Are those... are those Luhan's too?" Yixing asks, still unable to wrap his mind around the entire matter.  
  
Even though Yixing knows that Yifan had insisted for Luhan to be present in the Court along with him, Yixing had been under the impression that Yifan's only doing so to prevent Luhan from being jealous over Yixing's appointment. In all the Court sessions he's attended, Luhan has always been the silent observer, and has never really offered anything substantial to change the runnings of the nation, nor has Luhan ever objected to the minsters' outrageous suggestions. Luhan is nothing but a pretty face in Yixing's books, and the revelation by Jungsoo has effectively thrown Yixing's mind into utter chaos.   
  
"Yes," Jungsoo chuckles, and Yixing's heart sinks into the pit of his stomach. He still remembers the time when he'd taken a stroll around the palace with Yifan and Luhan, how he'd paused to admire the works which have been put up on the walls of a building close to Yifan's study. Now that Yixing _really_ thinks about it, Yifan had exchanged a mysterious look with Luhan back then while telling Yixing that the author would like to remain anonymous, and Luhan had very insolently rolled his eyes at Yifan. Perhaps there is truth behind Jungsoo's words, after all.   
  
Worst of all, Yixing finds himself admiring Luhan a little more now, after reading his thoughts and the works he's written, even if he might be worried about the threats Luhan has sent his way ever since Yixing had set foot in the _hougong_.   
  
"It's a little difficult to believe, I know." Jungsoo pats his hand sympathetically, as if sensing Yixing's internal turmoil. "But the Emperor has always had a soft spot for those who are intelligent. He craves mentally stimulating debates about current issues, and the only way he can achieve this is by having spouses who can indulge him in such a hobby. That is where Consort Lu – and later, _you_ – come in."   
  
This piece of information intrigues Yixing, because he now sees both Yifan and Luhan in a brand new light. Before this, he'd thought of Luhan as precisely that – a companion not unlike the other concubines of Yifan's, solely existing to quench his thirst for bodily pleasures. He hadn't thought highly of Luhan; but now he does, and Yixing finds himself wondering if there'll come a day when he would be able to discuss important issues with only the both of them. It would be a fruitful session, Yixing is sure, and Yixing wants to know what else goes through Luhan's brilliant mind.   
  
He's seen enough to believe there's more that Luhan is hiding behind that ethereal face of his.   
  
  
  
\--  
  
  
  
It's a lull in Luhan's day, a rare one where he finds himself bored and without the desire to lock himself away in Yifan's study for the first time in a long while.   
  
Yifan has, unfortunately, made another trip to the borders with the rest of his guards and several ministers, intending to find out for himself how exactly his people are suffering. There have been new waves of information that the drought is particularly terrible near the border, the weather conditions harsh on those who are living within the vicinity. Already there are many reports of people dying from heatstroke, and Luhan understands Yifan's worries.   
  
If there's anything Luhan is glad about, it's the fact that Yifan at least still cares about his subjects, and will do anything in his capacity to provide a better life for them. It's one of his defining characteristics which had made Luhan view him in a different light and eventually fall in love with him in the first place.   
  
Just as Luhan's about to head to the Imperial Garden to while away his time, though, he bumps into none other than Zhang Yixing in the corridors, which surprises Luhan. Luhan's chambers is far out of the way from the main structures of the palace, a request he'd put forth when Yifan had asked to marry him – Luhan loves his peace and quiet, and Yifan is more than keen to comply with his request, leaving only Yifan's chambers connected to his. At least he has his own private space to work on his writing, away from the prying eyes of the palace's denizens. There is no real reason for Zhang Yixing to be lurking around the area, unless–  
  
"Is there anything you need?" Luhan narrows his eyes suspiciously at the other man, whom flashes a wry smile at Luhan. He doesn't miss the fact that Yixing's here _alone_ , without his guard or his servants. Luhan wonders if Yixing has any sense of self-preservation left at all. If only he knew the person who'd tried to assassinate him is hiding right behind these very walls.   
  
"Do you... have some time to spare, _gege_? Can we talk?"   
  
Luhan has half the mind to reject Yixing's request, but then he thinks about the possibility that he might just be entertained, and agrees.  
  
  
  
\--  
  
  
  
No matter how often he watches Luhan from behind, Yixing doesn't think he'll ever get over being awestruck by the amount of grace Luhan displays when he walks. Even though they're both wearing robes made of silk and in similar designs, Luhan always manages to make it appear effortless to move around in them, the hem of his robes gliding smoothly across the ground after him. Yixing, on the other hand, has to grip onto the bottom part of his robes and pray hard he doesn't trip over the material. It would be extremely embarrassing if it happens right before his servants' eyes.   
  
It's times like these that makes Yixing acutely aware of the difference between him and Luhan, and it doesn't quite make sense to him why Yifan would even spare Yixing a second glance.   
  
"If there is something you'd like to say–" Luhan speaks up when they both arrive at the gazebo overlooking the pond, robes pooling elegantly beneath him as he takes a seat. Yixing burns with envy at the perfect slope of his nose and the lines of Luhan's neck, accentuated further by the mid-morning sun. "–you better do so. I do not have all day."   
  
It's then that Yixing remembers with a start the reason he had sought Luhan out. He wants to put an end to all this pointless fighting, to try and come to a compromise with Luhan. "I–" Yixing stutters, then inhales deeply to maintain his composure. "I know how you must despise me for waltzing in and stealing Yifan's attention from you, but please, trust me, it is never in my intentions to do so."  
  
Luhan merely raises a perfect brow, unimpressed, but keeps silent nonetheless. Yixing takes it as his cue to go on. "I had wanted to leave, even with the threat of being beheaded for treason hanging above me. But then feelings came into play, and I just– I'm sure you know how it is like, not wanting to fall in love with someone but you just cannot help it."  
  
"Your point being?" Luhan asks, his features betraying none of his emotions. He's so terrifyingly serene sometimes, Yixing can't even begin guessing if Luhan would lose his temper in the very next moment. Still, Yixing is wary enough to keep his distance. It's difficult to forget the way Luhan had pressed a dagger against his throat.   
  
"Can we come to a compromise?" Yixing replies, hopeful. "A truce. An attempt at being _friends_ , at the very least. A lifetime is an awfully long while to remain angry at someone, do you not agree? It sounds tiring."   
  
"I do not see a reason why I should not be hostile towards you," is Luhan's succinct answer, and Yixing flinches at the undertones of displeasure underlining his words. He pushes on regardless.   
  
"I have read your works, you know. The ones stored in the library." Yixing hedges, and there's the subtle paling of Luhan's face. He definitely hadn't expected for Yixing to find out. "Zhengshu _laoshi_ told me. I really admire them, if you must know, and I believe we can work together with Yifan to create a better nation." A pause. He tries to measure Luhan's response to his proposition, but still Luhan doesn't give anything away. "Do you not want the best for the people?"   
  
The question effectively pierces through Luhan's defences, and he turns his gaze away, looking into the distance. "I will consider."   
  
Yixing thinks this is a small victory on his part, at least.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hate sex ( ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The atmosphere is tense as they wait outside Song Qian's room, having been gathered there upon an alert given by her maids. It's a beautiful day out, the sun not too merciless, and it makes things just a little more bearable as they sit in the garden.

Frankly, Luhan doesn't like this at all, this waiting game. He doesn't even know why the Empress Dowager has insisted that they all be there, but he doesn't have a choice; he can't very well go against the Empress Dowager's orders, even if he's sorely tempted to. The woman holds more power than anyone can even begin to imagine, being above Yifan in rank, despite her not being the true ruler of China. At the rate things are going, she might as well be the Shadow Empress of the nation. Luhan can see how frustrated Yifan is when he finds his hands metaphorically tied behind his back whenever his mother speaks up, and considering the unspoken rule of having to keep up with filial piety, Yifan naturally can't go against his own mother, no matter how much he wants to. 

Today is one of those instances. 

Immediately after their morning Court session with the rest of the ministers, they'd all been informed that Song Qian had fallen ill, and is currently being attended to by the Imperial Healer. Luhan had honestly thought about retreating to his own chambers right away – an entire morning of fruitless discussion with the stubborn ministers of Yifan's administration has given him a rather annoying headache – but the Empress Dowager had stepped in and ordered everyone to make their way to Song Qian's quarters at once.

And by _everyone_ , she'd meant Yifan, Luhan, and Yixing. He's not oblivious to the scheming light in the witch's eyes, or the tiny smirk he sees on her lips when she catches Luhan looking at her hatefully. Nevertheless, as with all the other times, Luhan finds himself painfully helpless when faced with a stronger force, and he decides it's best to do as she says. For now. 

The air around him is an odd mix of emotions right now, Luhan thinks wryly as he inconspicuously allows his gaze to make a sweep of his surroundings. To his left, Yifan is the perfect picture of calmness, his eyes transfixed on the door of Song Qian's room which is currently deathly silent on the other side, fingers laced together in front of him as he waits. His gaze is strong, piercing, unwavering despite the uncertainty of the situation. On Luhan's right, Yixing's a bundle of nervous energy, hands fidgeting with the material of his silk robes even though he's sitting ramrod straight in his seat, and Luhan resists the urge to roll his eyes at Yixing's antics. It is unbecoming of the Emperor's Consort to lose his composure in full view of the palace's servants, and it _will_ be the source of all malicious gossips. But he can't care less about Zhang Yixing; the faster his reputation is brought down amongst the palace denizens, the better. 

And then there's the Empress Dowager, her perfect, slender fingers drumming against her cheek in a steady rhythm. She seems the most amused out of the lot, which makes Luhan's insides twist sickeningly. The Empress Dowager doesn't seem to be the least bit bothered about the news of Song Qian falling ill, as though everyone's lives are nothing but pawns in a game for her. Even if Luhan isn't quite fond of Song Qian because of the Empress Dowager's orders for Yifan to procreate with her, Luhan isn't vile enough to wish for something terrible to befall Yifan's concubine, when she has done him no wrong. 

Luhan's attention is focused on Song Qian's room once again when the wooden doors open up to reveal the Imperial Healer, a man with a greying beard and wisdom in his eyes. Luhan has met the man only once, when Luhan had been down with a severe illness several months into his stay at the palace, only to be told by this very man that someone has been poisoning his food. Yifan had been extremely livid back then, and had launched an extensive interrogation on anyone and everyone who had been involved in preparing and delivering Luhan's food, before executing one of the maids and a minister who'd been proved to be guilty without reasonable doubt in the end. It's the first and only show of violence from Yifan, who's usually benevolent and patient even when faced with the strongest of objections from his ministers, and needless to say, no one else has dared to mess with Luhan since. 

"This humble servant wishes you well, Your Majesty." He comes to kneel before Yifan and extends his greetings, only pulling himself to stand once again when Yifan waves him on. 

"What is it, Doctor? What has happened to Concubine Song?" Yifan immediately cuts to the chase, and Luhan can hear the impatience in his voice. Having known Yifan for so long, Luhan doesn't doubt that he's trying to end this ridiculous gathering as soon as possible, considering his desire to spend as little time around his mother as he can. Luhan doesn't blame him, though; the woman is vile enough to want her own son to suffer, if only to make herself happy. He remembers all the times Yifan has told him how he wished he wasn't born into a royal family, so that he could have all the freedom in the world to live as he pleases. Luhan can sympathise. He's the same, having been thrown into the dark world of the Forbidden City and finding himself wanting to return to the life of a commoner. At least things aren't as complicated as they are right now – probably will never be, either.

"Her Highness is only a little dehydrated from her frequent episodes of vomiting, Your Majesty. There is no need to worry." The Imperial Healer informs, and Luhan finds himself relaxing in his seat. All that commotion for nothing. 

Yifan seems to feel the same way, and there's relief in his voice as he says, "Is that all? Thank you for your swift response, Doctor. You will be awarded accordingly." 

But of course the gathering doesn't end there, when the Imperial Healer speaks up once again the moment Yifan is about to rise from his seat. "That is not all, Your Majesty. This humble servant would like to congratulate Your Majesty as well, for Her Highness Concubine Song is pregnant with a child." 

Almost immediately, Yifan's weight drops onto the chair out of shock, and Luhan finds his own eyes widening at the sudden announcement, a myriad of emotions washing over him. 

"What? Are you absolutely sure?" Yifan questions, as if disbelieving of the man's words. 

"A hundred percent sure, Your Majesty." The Imperial Healer replies, bowing in affirmation at Yifan. Luhan feels rather sick to the gut, the unnecessary jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach. There's no saying what sort of impact the royal child will have on Luhan's position in Yifan's life, and that's probably the least of his worries right now. "Vomiting episodes in the mornings is an early sign of pregnancy, and–"

"Say no more." Yifan raises a hand to stop the man from continuing. "You may leave now. Your service is no longer needed for the day." 

Just as Luhan thinks that the day can't possibly get any worse, the Empress Dowager's gleeful cackling fills the air the moment the Imperial Healer is out of earshot. Luhan turns to regard her against his own free will, and he sees the paleness of Yixing's features as he does so. He wonders if he's the same.

And Yifan is just as impatient as ever as he sighs aloud. "Mother, what is it again this time?" 

"Finally you have conceived a child with Song Qian, after _months_ of trying." The Empress Dowager says, taking an obvious jab at Yifan, even with their servants still present. Thankfully, the servants are bright enough to silently excuse themselves at the first sign of an impending argument between Yifan and the Empress Dowager. Luhan can't bear to imagine what sort of light they'd see this dysfunctional family in, if they had stayed on to witness this debacle.

He's not even sure if they could even be called a _family_ , not when everyone has their own hidden agendas. 

"I have upheld my end of the bargain, Mother." Yifan replies calmly, but rather than looking at the Empress Dowager, Yifan's gaze is trained upon the vast blue skies above them instead. "I will no longer have anything to do with Song Qian until the child is born." 

This time, the Empress Dowager's laugh is mocking, deprecating. "That is what you think, Yifan." She says, and a sense of impending doom looms upon Luhan. He probably shouldn't have expected the Empress Dowager to leave things at that. "In accordance to the Imperial Rules which govern _all_ of us–" At this, she casts an evil eye in Luhan's and Yixing's general direction, as if reminding them that they're bound to these rules too, no matter how much Yifan has been trying to bend them. "–it is stated that a _woman_ who bears the first child of the Emperor, the flesh and bones who will eventually ascend the throne and be the Emperor of China in the future, is to be made His Empress. This is a tradition you must keep." 

Luhan feels rather ashamed to admit it, but he jumps in his seat when Yifan slams his hand against the table and abruptly gets to his feet. The anger is palpable in the air when he turns towards the Empress Dowager. "Absolutely not!" He growls, downright livid with his mother's incessant attempts to mess with and control his life. "I have always been against the rigid traditions that govern our lives, and I am not about to bend my principles just because _you_ asked me to!" 

"This is not about _you_ , Yifan!" The Empress Dowager raises her voice too, the first time Luhan has ever witnessed her doing so. She has always been calm and collected despite Yifan and Luhan's continuous efforts in antagonising her, opting instead to retaliate with her words and not her intonation, but perhaps she has had too much. "This is about ensuring the survival of _our dynasty_! Are you trying to tell me that you would willingly anger your ancestors because of what you want?" 

"What if I am?" Yifan bites back, unwilling to stand down. "I _love_ Luhan, and I have vowed to have him as my one and only Imperial Consort in place of an Empress. I will _not_ rescind on my promise for the sake of the child in Song Qian's womb. We have made a pact, Mother. Both Luhan and Yixing can stay by my side, as long as I beget the royal child with Song Qian – that is the condition which _you_ have stipulated yourself. Are you trying to tell me that you have forgotten?" 

The Empress Dowager inhales deeply and composes herself just then, all traces of raw anger replaced by an unending calmness instead. Frankly, Luhan thinks that this side of her is infinitely more frightening, because one can never guess what she's scheming inside her mind. "Is that your final answer to this issue?" 

Yifan puffs up his chest and shields Luhan and Yixing from view, his voice unwavering as he faces up to his own mother. "Yes. I will not make Song Qian my Empress. Not now. Not ever." 

His mother straightens her sleeves and sends a chilling, piercing look at Yifan at the answer. "Then so shall it be. Say not that I did not warn you." 

Luhan only releases the breath he hadn't even known he was holding when the Empress Dowager leaves them behind in the courtyard which suddenly feels all too chilly for a late Summer morning, and he looks up when Yifan cups his face with a broad, reassuring palm. 

Everything would be perfect, if he hadn't noticed how Yifan's holding Yixing's hand in his, too. 

"Don't worry, I will not let her lay a hand on the both of you." Yifan promises, but Luhan finds himself worrying regardless. The Empress Dowager can be a very dangerous woman when angered, after all. 

 

\--

 

"Your orders, Your Highness?" 

Empress Dowager Wu drums her fingers against the side of her face at the question, pondering what exactly can be done without anyone being the wiser. 

After the incident which had unfolded in the morning, she's more than sure that her son will not let his Consorts go without a fight, and the thought itself sickens her more than she'd like to admit. In all her life, she had envisioned herself nurturing the perfect family – an obedient son who will never go against her wishes, marrying the girl of _her_ choice and begetting a child who will be worthy enough to ascend the Dragon Throne when his time is due. Not this. Never this catastrophe. 

Yifan has always loved travelling, loved to mingle amongst his future subjects in order to learn of their grouses about his late father's ruling regime, and he's vowed – more than once – to put his subjects first, to work harder on the weaker points of his father's rule. And she had let him, knowing that Yifan will not willingly allow himself to be tied down before he becomes the Emperor. She regrets her leniency towards Yifan now.

Evidently, that is a great mistake which sees her losing her son to Luhan. But she isn't about to give up on creating her ideal world. With Song Qian pregnant, it's only a matter of persuasion and influencing the other ministers to see things her way, that Song Qian should be made Empress in lieu of her bearing the future successor of the Dragon Throne. 

The only problem is to remove her son's Consorts – for good. Zhang Yixing may be bright, but she doesn't view him as a threat, considering that he's as docile as a lamb can be, and it would be easy to make him bend to her will. Luhan, on the other hand, is always brimming with ideas, and seems to know a lot more about the nation than he really lets on. She's been watching him closely all these years, and Luhan has never failed to surprise her with some of his suggestions. That, and the fact that he's a lot more of a fighter than Zhang Yixing will be. If there's a formidable threat to her plans, it would be in the form of Luhan.

With that, she turns to her underling with a sinister smirk. There is no question as to what should be done.

"Find out everything you can about Luhan – his family background, his past, up to his ancestry. Fail me not like the one before you had failed. You know what the consequences are." 

She _will_ destroy the one who has poisoned her son's mind, and she will not stop until she succeeds. 

 

\--

 

Luhan doesn't really know what has gotten into Yixing, but the man seems to have taken to following him around the palace grounds a lot these days, ever since their brief meeting at the Imperial Garden the other day. This day is no different, and Luhan sees Yixing trailing after him in silence after they've left the courtyard of Song Qian's quarters, Yifan having opted to stay behind to ensure that she's resting well. He isn't really bothered by it, knowing that Yifan holds no special feelings for Song Qian. He's merely holding his end of the bargain to the Empress Dowager, and now that Song Qian has managed to conceive, at least it gives all three of them some reprieve.

He doesn't think he'll be able to stomach the sight of Yifan having sex with Song Qian every single morning any longer, if she hadn't gotten pregnant sooner. 

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Luhan snaps rather impatiently when he steps past the gateway leading to his own quarters, hearing Yixing stumble a little at the raised steps. He doesn't stop to check on Yixing, though, opting to instead march right into his chambers and seat himself by the table, sharp gaze pinning Yixing down. 

At least Zhang Yixing has the decency to look sheepish, eyes silently seeking for permission to join Luhan. Luhan merely grunts, but doesn't chase him out. Zhang Yixing has proved himself to be intriguing over the last couple of days, undeterred from establishing communication with Luhan despite the fact that Luhan had very nearly slit his throat once. Perhaps Zhang Yixing _really_ does lack a sense of self-preservation. 

"Yes, _gege_. I was wondering if you felt relieved, knowing that there is no longer a need to witness Yifan being with Song Qian." Yixing says, taking a seat on the floor cushion next to him. There's eagerness in his voice, combined with childlike innocence. Luhan resists the urge to roll his eyes. That innocence will soon be gone, when Zhang Yixing finally learns about the darkness that permanently enshrouds the Forbidden City. 

"Of course." Luhan sniffs, and waves his servant out of the room after she'd served their tea. He drops his voice low, even when the servant is already out of earshot, when he speaks next. " _I_ can rest easy, but you will never be able to. Not while I am still here." 

Yixing blinks back at him, as though not understanding what Luhan's talking about. "What do you mean by that, _gege_?"

Luhan scoffs at his further display of innocence. He doesn't buy this one bit. "Let us drop all pretenses, shall we? There is no one else but us in here." He snarls, and grabs Yixing by the front of his robes. "Don't you even think about taking my place by Yifan's side. What can a greenhorn like you do? I bet you can't even pleasure Yifan well." 

His words seem to have struck a nerve in Yixing, and the younger man's expressions turn stormy in the very next moment. "I am not trying to replace you, Luhan. And I _can_ pleasure Yifan; I am learning." 

That's when an idea strikes Luhan, and he decides that he really, _really_ wants to see Yixing ruined. "Then why don't we make a bet?" He smirks, pressing just a little closer to Yixing, their breaths mingling in the small space left between their faces. "Show me that you can pleasure him well, and I won't say a thing if you sleep with him in the future." 

A tense moment of silence stretches on between them, but Luhan doesn't ease his grip on Yixing's robes. Yixing's eyes are intense as he searches Luhan's ones for clues to win this bet, though he remains wordlessly still, breathing slightly laboured – from anxiety or resentment, Luhan isn't sure, but he laps it all up just the same. There's a peculiar sense of magnetism in Yixing's gaze, however, one which Luhan has never seen before, and he can't say he's not curious. 

Just as he thinks that Yixing is going to give up without a fight, the man surprises him by actually smashing his mouth against Luhan's, nipping on his bottom lip when Luhan doesn't respond. Only when Luhan has gotten over the initial shock does the competitive edge kick in, and he pulls Yixing that much closer to him, pressing their bodies flushed against each other. 

Their kisses are messy, with too much teeth and too much tongue, neither wanting to give in to the other, but Luhan gains the upper hand by virtue of experience, when he nudges his knee against the rapidly-forming bulge beneath Yixing's robes and earns a startled gasp-moan from him. Luhan takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Yixing's warm mouth, licking at the back of his teeth before sucking obscenely on Yixing's tongue, the way Luhan would always coax a reaction out of Yifan. 

Yixing's lips are sinfully swollen and well-abused when they finally part for air, and Luhan can't stop himself from smirking at the sight. He's always been one to admire his handiwork, but Yixing just isn't wrecked enough for his liking – not yet. 

"I will show you that I am every bit capable of pleasing Yifan in bed, the way you do." Yixing breathes out, shoulders heaving from the exertion, and Luhan finds himself laughing. 

"Give me your best shot, then." Luhan taunts, spreading his arms out on either side of him as Yixing's hands scramble to untie his silk robes and slide it off Luhan's shoulders. If there's one thing in common between Luhan and Yixing, it's the fact that neither of them will back down from a challenge, especially not one that's thrown right in their faces. 

He rather enjoys the way Yixing seems extremely eager to please, the flat of his tongue leaving a wet trail down Luhan's neck and on his chest. Luhan's own hands dig into Yixing's scalp, head thrown back in pleasure as Yixing kisses hotly across his chest, before his tongue swirls around a nipple, and the moan which is ripped from Yixing's throat when Luhan finds purchase on his hair and _yanks_ is absolutely satisfying.

Yixing's inexperience shows at times like these, though, when he doesn't exactly know how to use his tongue to his full advantage. Though very different from the way Luhan makes love with Yifan, he can't say that he doesn't enjoy this. It rather reminds Luhan of the first time he'd experimented in bed with Yifan, hesitant touches skittering across heated skin and fingers too featherlight, and Luhan's hit with a pang of nostalgia.

Not wanting to be the only one who's undressed, though, Luhan pushes Yixing up against the nearest beam and works deftly at the tie that holds Yixing's robe shut, divesting the younger man of his clothes and undergarment in record time. He doesn't admit this aloud, but Yixing looks absolutely stunning like this, sweating and panting and flushed pink down to his chest from arousal, his erection curling proudly against the pale skin of his stomach – all because of _Luhan_ – and Luhan can begin to see why exactly Yifan is so taken with him. 

"Let me show you how exactly it's done." Luhan clicks his tongue at Yixing when he tries to protest and immediately goes to work, dragging his teeth across skin and leaving a red trail down Yixing's torso, enough to leave a temporary mark that'll likely be gone in the next couple of hours. It doesn't even matter if Yifan happens to fuck Yixing later that evening and finds all the marks that Luhan had left on him; he'd _love_ to witness Yifan's reaction when he finds out that Yixing might just be cheating on him. 

Yixing's moans are wanton as Luhan makes quick work of him. He's pressed against the wooden beam in Luhan's chambers, while Luhan kneels between his legs and takes Yixing's leaking cock into his mouth. The bitter taste of precome is heady, but Luhan laps it up regardless as he makes Yixing suck on his fingers. Only when he deems his fingers slick enough does Luhan press the first digit past Yixing's tight rim of muscles, humming appreciatively around Yixing's cock when the younger man clenches around him. It's obvious that Yixing _wants_ this, wants Luhan too, judging from the lack of resistance coming from the man, and it makes Luhan feel powerful for once, for being able to be the one who takes control. 

(There are times when Luhan would be the one fucking Yifan instead, when Yifan's exhausted and boneless from a long trip, but it's admittedly a rarity in itself. This; this he can probably get used to.) 

Luhan knows that Yifan's girth is much thicker than his, so he doesn't waste his time in waiting for Yixing to adjust to the stretch of his fingers, quickly adding a second and third as he continues to suck Yixing off. He doesn't even mind when Yixing thrusts shallowly into his mouth, unable to hold himself down from the way Luhan's making him feel. 

" _Ge_ , please–" Yixing pleads moments later, when Luhan has managed to find his prostate and strikes it repeatedly, mercilessly with his fingers. He looks up at Yixing through his lashes, and is pleased to find that Yixing's a complete mess, with marks of red blossoming over his palms from the way Yixing has been clenching his fists tightly as Luhan presses the flat of his tongue against the underside of Yixing's cock.

"Please, _what_?" Luhan hums, teasingly dipping his tongue into the slit of Yixing's penis and making sure Yixing's watching every flick of his muscled organ. He hadn't expected Yixing to give in so readily to him, let alone _beg_ him for something to be done, but he can't deny that he feels excited by this, either. 

" _Fuck me_ –" Yixing practically gasps when Luhan crooks his fingers in him once again, his free hand playing with Yixing's testicles, and Luhan smirks when Yixing's hands come up to scrabble at his biceps. He half considers leaving Yixing like this, all riled up and hard with beads of precome leaking from his cock, but then Luhan thinks about what a beautiful sight it would be to fuck Yixing from behind until his legs give way beneath him, and he makes his decision at once. 

He presses a kiss to the head of Yixing's cock and feels a violent shudder wrack through Yixing's body, before dragging him up from the floor by the roots of his hair. The pained hiss that escapes Yixing's pathetic lips is satisfying, and Luhan doesn't even hold back as he shoves Yixing against his bed. 

"I want you on all fours." Luhan commands as he goes in search of the scented oil he has stored away in his dresser. It's satisfying to witness how desperate Yixing is to be fucked, when he scrambles to follow Luhan's orders without mouthing a single word of protest, and his puckered hole awaits Luhan when he returns to the bed. 

"You're doing a good job so far." Luhan purrs as he strokes the curve of Yixing's hips with a finger, while his other hand works at slicking up his cock. "So willing to spread your legs for me. Have I told you how much Yifan _loves_ it when we beg for him to take us hard and fast? To turn us into a complete wreck? Why don't you show me how good you are at begging, like the shameless being you are?" 

Yixing rightfully whimpers when Luhan strikes him on his ass, and the way his handprint stands out against pale skin is absolutely gratifying. "Please, Han _ge_. Please, fuck me. I need you to fill me–"

"Are you really sure about that?" Luhan asks again, teasing the crack of Yixing's ass with the head of his cock. He _knows_ how desperate Yixing is to be fucked by him, judging by the way Yixing rocks his hips backwards in an attempt to get Luhan to penetrate him. Luhan isn't about to give in so easily, though, and he continues to circle Yixing's tight rim of muscles, spreading precome over skin.

"Yes, yes _please ge_ –" Yixing practically sobs as he supports his weight with his elbows, looking back at Luhan desperately. His pupils are blown wide from lust, and it both disgusts and turns Luhan on at the same time – disgusted, because Yixing is willingly letting _Luhan_ fuck him when they're not even on friendly terms; turned on, because it makes Luhan feel in complete control, that he has Zhang Yixing at his complete mercy.

Without warning, Luhan slides his entire length into Yixing's waiting hole, his eyes practically rolling to the back of his head at how tight Yixing is. Granted, Yixing hasn't been having sex with Yifan that frequently just yet, but the heat that continuously sucks him in and envelops him is absolutely delicious. 

He doesn't bother with the usual pampering he would indulge Yifan with, though, and continuously snaps his hips forward into Yixing, setting up a punishing pace. He hates Yixing, _loathes_ his existence, and he makes this known by pounding into Yixing over and over again until Yixing's face is buried in the covers, filling the room with the sound of skin slapping against skin and Yixing's pathetic whimpering. 

"Let me hear you _beg_ , Zhang Yixing." Luhan practically snarls when he grows tired of hearing the incessant moaning, and yanks Yixing up by the roots of his hair once again. 

At the very least, Yixing is bright enough to understand what Luhan intends to do, and he quickly settles himself on Luhan's lap, back pressed flushed against Luhan's sweat-slicked chest when Luhan moves to sit on the bed. "Han _ge_ , please, faster, harder, I _need_ to come–" 

Luhan scoffs and bites down hard on the juncture of Yixing's neck, though his fingers come up to form a tight ring around the base of Yixing's cock, staving off Yixing's incoming orgasm. "You don't get to come until _I_ do, so I would suggest that you double your efforts, Zhang Yixing." 

Yixing's moans only get lourder as he bounces himself on Luhan's cock, head thrown back in pleasure as Luhan nibbles on his skin and leaves his mark across the expanse of Yixing's back. This time, though, Yixing begins to clench his muscles around Luhan's cock, and it drives Luhan's climax forth a lot faster than he'd like to admit. 

Several more thrusts later, Luhan's already spilling deep inside Yixing, his moans muffled by sucking Yixing's skin between his teeth. Yixing's orgasm hits him soon after, once Luhan's grip around the base of his cock slackens, and ribbons of white splatters onto Luhan's hand and across the floor. 

The moment his head is cleared of the post-orgasm haze, Luhan's already shoving Yixing off him, leaving the man lying on top of the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. His gaze is cold as he glances at Yixing's miserable state, sweat-drenched hair plastered against his face and looking nothing like the respectful Consort he presents himself as to the world. In the bedroom, he's nothing more than a man who would plead to be fucked by another man he barely even knows, and Luhan feels thoroughly sickened that Yifan should choose someone like Zhang Yixing to be Luhan's rival. 

"Get out before someone walks in and finds you in such a state," is all that Luhan says, before he marches towards his dresser to grab a fresh change of robes, leaving Zhang Yixing lying boneless on the floor.


	33. Chapter 33

Yixing chews on his bottom lip as he stares at his reflection in the mirror, the pad of his thumb running across the jut of his hipbone where a purpling bruise stands out starkly against his skin. There's a slight wince that flashes across his features when he accidentally places a little too much pressure on the spot, but Yixing quickly lifts his hand away to prevent himself from doing more damage. Then he turns around to regard his back, where long stripes of red, only made possible by the imprints of nails, run down its entire length and ends at the waistband of his undergarment. 

It's at the thought of what had given rise to these marks that Yixing feels his stomach churn, and he hurriedly slides his choice of robes for the morning onto his shoulders, concealing them from view. 

It has been two days since the incident, where Luhan had fucked Yixing rather mercilessly in the confines of his chamber, probably as a form of punishment towards Yixing for stepping into Yifan's life and taking a part of Yifan's heart with him. He's still sore from the way Luhan had pounded into him, stretched him open impatiently, _ruthlessly_ , but his cock twitches at the memory regardless. It's vastly different from the way Yifan would make slow love to him, and Yixing is ashamed to say this, but he rather _likes_ it, enjoys being handled roughly instead of being treated like a fragile doll that will break at the slightest of pressure. 

But the thought also makes Yixing feel utterly disgusted with himself. Luhan is a mere acquaintance to him at best, nothing like who Yifan is to Yixing. He doesn't know the first thing about Luhan, apart from the fact that he's a very good writer with sound reasoning, though he does find himself wanting to get to know Luhan better.

If only Luhan would bring down the walls around him and allow someone else apart from Yifan to glimpse into his life.

Yixing also feels _guilty_ about his act. He had reacted brashly the other day, when Luhan had challenged his abilities at pleasuring Yifan in bed – he might be new to this experience, but it doesn't mean that he can't learn to do it the way Luhan does, and he'd wanted to prove Luhan wrong. Yifan seems contented thus far, so he shouldn't be doing something wrong. 

That's before the rational part of his mind had started functioning again, only to remind him that he'd essentially cheated on Yifan. Yifan has never expressed his desires to see Luhan and Yixing getting together in the bedroom before, only wishing for them to get along well on the Court for the betterment of their nation, and it's an act that's probably tantamount to treason, the passionate fucking which had transpired from two men's desires to exert their stand. 

It's why Yixing has been avoiding Yifan as much as he possibly can without inviting any suspicions from the man himself. Yixing knows that if he were to be with Yifan in private, Yixing would definitely give in to his newfound lust for being stripped to the skin and stretched open. Yifan _would_ be livid if he sees the marks on Yixing's body – marks which aren't left on him by Yifan himself. He doesn't think he'll be able to answer Yifan if he ever asks. 

He shouldn't like having sex this much, either, because it seems as though they're abandoning their duties to the nation by indulging in their carnal desires. 

Tying his robes shut around his waist, Yixing takes another look at his reflection in the mirror to ensure that he's presentable enough to the world. He picks up the pot of powder left on the vanity table and dabs its contents around his eyes – dark circles are beginning to form, from the lack of sleep Yixing's been having these days – as well as to conceal the tell-tale mark that stands out sharply over his clavicle. Another one made by Luhan's teeth, harshly dragging over skin and bones; the tips of Yixing's ears turn warm at the memory. 

It's only when he's satisfied enough with his handiwork that Yixing walks out of his chambers, only to be joined by Baekhyun. Yet another day of facing the Court and its never-ending expectations. 

 

\--

 

Yifan sighs to himself and massages his temples with the pads of his thumbs, trying hard to dispel the dull ache that's been plaguing him since the morning. 

Somehow, his ministers had caught wind of his argument with his mother at Song Qian's quarters the other day, and had found out about Song Qian's pregnancy as well as his stubborn decision to not instate her as the rightful Empress of the nation. They are all about tradition, Yifan has learned by now, and this seems to be one tradition which they are keen on upholding – just like Yifan's mother herself. It's perhaps not so surprising that the Prime Minister brings this up during a lull in their discussion that morning, right before they had moved on to another national issue which needs addressing. Song Qian is, after all, his precious daughter, and he would benefit the most out of the arrangement if she were to be instated as the Empress of China, giving him far more influence on the Court than he already has. 

Yifan is keen on not playing into Prime Minister Song's _father-in-law_ card, regardless. If he has to rule this nation, he will do it by fairness and by merit, not through supposed family relations. His father had made the very same mistake of trusting Prime Minister Song wholeheartedly with his suggestions, especially after they had Yifan wed Song Qian even before Yifan had ascended the throne, and Yifan is determined not to fall into the same loop once again. The greed in Song Lin's eyes is much too clear to Yifan, who has been watching the man ever since he'd been younger from the sidelines. Even as a child, his instincts have told him not to trust Song Lin too much. Yifan isn't about to change that perception any time soon. 

His other ministers, particularly the ones who are known to rally their support behind Song Lin, had taken the opportunity to agree with the proposition to instate Song Qian as the Empress, citing that it's the proper thing to do. They went on and on about how it would not seem appropriate to foreign expatriates when they make an official visit to China and saw that Yifan had another _male_ by his side in place of a proper Empress, and would thus affect Yifan's standing in their eyes. Yifan honestly can't see what the problem is, considering that Luhan is as perfect a candidate as any to partake in their discussions to forge a stronger tie between China and other foreign nations, with his wit and charms. While Yifan doesn't doubt that Song Qian can rise up to that role with her intelligence and her strong educational background – her father had insisted she went to school and studied like a scholar would – being silent is also a part of her character. She will not participate in discussions with other men, only because she is of the perception that other men would not listen to a woman's suggestions, and would thus relegate her to a minuscule role of being Yifan's partner and nothing else. 

Yifan would not willingly subject her to such humiliation. He respects her as a friend first and foremost, as someone who had grown up with him over the years. It's only unfortunate that the Empress Dowager would force him to copulate with Song Qian to beget a child, for he would not have undressed her otherwise. Wouldn't even have touched her disrespectfully. 

"If you keep frowning like that–" a voice permeates the quiet air of his study, making Yifan look up. It's a common sight these days, to see Junmyeon smiling as he walks into Yifan's study, though what surprises Yifan to see Jongdae by his side, and he's grinning as he tells Yifan, "–you're going to end up aging a lot by the time the year ends, Your Majesty." 

The smile spreads across Yifan's features despite his intention to appear stern. "And _you_ , Kim Jongdae, would have a guillotine hanging above your neck if you were not considered a good friend of mine. Sit, please." 

Even though Jongdae's tasked to coach Yixing in carrying himself in the way royals are supposed to, he doesn't look the part when he flops down unceremoniously on a floor cushion, robes pooling messily beneath him. Both Yifan and Junmyeon laugh, because Jongdae has always acted flippantly in front of the Emperor in private. Yifan had insisted on it, many years ago, and he's glad that Jongdae actually remembers. It makes Yifan feel _normal_ for once, as though he's in a gathering with his friends and not a formal audience with his subjects. 

"I have not spoken to you in private for a long while, Yifan." Jongdae grins as he pulls Junmyeon to sit with him. More laughter is elicited from the duo when Junmyeon lands on his ass and yelps indignantly, but he ends up laughing along with Yifan and Jongdae when the hilarity of the situation gets to him. 

"We have all been busy with everything that's going on in the Forbidden City," Yifan concurs, then quirks an eyebrow at the pair seated before him. " _Especially_ you two." 

Yifan is rather amused by the way Junmyeon flushes all the way down to his neck at the implication behind Yifan's words. It's a shame that he doesn't stutter when he speaks next, however. "I haven't an idea what you are trying to say, Yifan." 

Yifan hums noncommittally. "There is no special meaning behind my words, unless you decide to perceive it as such." He teases, still trying to keep a straight face but failing spectacularly when Jongdae opts to make a face at Junmyeon at that particular moment. 

That is, until Junmyeon decides to spoil the mood when his expressions suddenly turn grim. "We are here to report something urgently to you, though. There is growing dissent in the palace." 

That's what Yifan was afraid of hearing, and he sighs at the headache which surges up to greet him yet again. "I know. That much is clear from the way the ministers have been reacting towards me the entire morning."

Even Jongdae, who's usually all smiles whenever he comes to see Yifan in private, has his jaw clenched tightly. "We are not simply talking about that bunch of old farts, Yifan. Even some of the lower-ranked officials are at an unrest when they found out about your insistence at not instating Song Qian as the Empress. Tradition–"

"–is a bunch of nonsense." Yifan finishes for him, exhaling noisily through his nose. "Why can we not move towards a more modern approach, when it is more than clear that Luhan is the perfect candidate to be the Imperial Consort in place of an Empress? He has charmed many an expatriate into building strong ties with us with his intelligence, and no one has uttered a single word of condescension about Luhan's presence." 

Junmyeon's smile is wry. "Because, Yifan, we are of the new age. The generation gap between us and the ministers is huge, and naturally they are supporters of what they are comfortable with. This – the idea of Song Qian as Empress – is what's familiar to them. Not Luhan. Not another man." 

"I hope you are not trying to tell me to follow after what they want. What my mother wants." Yifan frowns. This is the last thing he expects coming from his only friends in the palace; they know him better than this. It's been years since the argument over whom Yifan should instate as the companion of his rule had begun, and Yifan honestly doesn't understand why it's still going on, when Luhan has proved – on more than one occasion – that his rightful place is to rule with Yifan by his side.

Jongdae presses a hand to his chest in mock hurt at Yifan's accusation. "Of course not, Yifan. Who do you think we are?" 

"Jongdae has a point, you know." Junmyeon concurs, looking at Yifan meaningfully. "We _will_ rally our unwavering support behind you, but please do keep this in mind – anyone from the rank of these ministers can raise a _coup d'état_ by ruling a vote of no confidence against your ruling regime, Yifan, and some of them are already discussing about it. We need to find a way to strengthen our defences as well as our influence, and we need to do it fast." 

It's not as though as Yifan doesn't already know that. Talks of overthrowing the Wu Dynasty has been rife the last couple of years, only to intensify after the news of Song Qian's pregnancy finds its way to the lips of many. It's not so much because Yifan's incapable of ruling the country, however. The ministers are unhappy that Yifan had ascended to the throne at too young an age, and have deemed him a failure even before they provided him an opportunity to prove himself. 

He glances towards the open window of his study, where he knows Sungmin and Han Geng are lying in wait and listening in on their conversation. The influence these two men have on the soldiers in the borders cannot be underestimated, both having been close to the top ranks of the military once upon a time before they were absorbed into Yifan's elite Secret Guard. "Act swift," Yifan says to them, "but do not let anyone find out what you are up to." 

Junmyeon and Jongdae are no longer surprised when Han Geng and Sungmin make a brief appearance to bow in acquiescence at Yifan, accepting their newest mission in stride, before disappearing from view. 

The games have officially begun. 

 

\--

 

Luhan pauses the moment he sets foot in his chambers after a long day spent being cooped up in the Imperial Library, sensing that something is amiss. His eyes sweep across the open space before him, making mental notes of the anomalies in his room. Every morning, Luhan would instruct the servants tasked to clean his chambers to not move anything around, and they have never failed to stick to his orders all these years. Today, though, several of his items have been displaced from their usual spots, and the warning bells sound in his head. 

His servants have not changed. This can only mean one thing – someone has been snooping around in his chambers, searching for something of interest to them. 

"Jongin," he says quietly to the seemingly empty room, knowing that his guard is hiding somewhere. "Someone has trespassed my room while we were gone."

"I know." Jongin affirms, voice equally silent, but still he does not show himself. He's been instructed implicitly by Luhan not to do so unless requested when it's still broad daylight outside. They can never be too careful, these days. "That wooden statue was supposed to be on the right of the dresser. What do you reckon they have been searching for, master?" 

"I do not know." Luhan replies, his fists clenched by his side. He doesn't feel good about this. "But I feel that you _need_ to leave the Forbidden City at once."

As expected, Jongin makes a noise of protest at Luhan's suggestion, and he immediately appears right before Luhan, the bewilderment clear on his expressions. "What are you talking about, master? I cannot possibly leave the Forbidden City without you! You would be in grave danger–" 

"I am in greater danger with you around, Jongin!" Luhan hisses, desperate for Jongin to understand what he's trying to tell him. "If ever someone finds out that I have been hiding you in the palace, I will be tried and executed for treason! It would be better if you were to leave the Forbidden City, and seek for help on the outside on my behalf."

"But–" The conflict flashes across Jongin's features, and Luhan's heart aches at the sight. He knows what Jongin has been told to do – to stick by Luhan's side no matter what happens, and to protect Luhan until his very last breath. Right now, Luhan's orders are contradicting with everything that Jongin has ever known, and he can't say he doesn't feel sorry for the boy. But this is for the best. 

"You have the emblem." Luhan reminds him, reaching into Jongin's robes and retrieving the item, before pressing it into Jongin's palm, making the boy clench his fingers around the object. "The Lu family symbol is one of great power. Those who recognise it will throw their unwavering support behind you; use them to your advantage, and play according to the situation, Jongin. It would be easier for you to move around when you are out of the palace grounds." 

" _Luhan_ –" Jongin tries to plead with him, and Luhan squeezes his eyes shut at the sound of his name. Even though Luhan had allowed Jongin to call him by his birth name all those years ago, Jongin had never agreed to it, citing that it would cross the boundaries which define their relationship as master and servant. It's only when Jongin wants Luhan to listen to him that he'd allow his lips to speak of Luhan's name, and Luhan would usually indulge in his requests – but not this time. 

"Listen to me, Jongin. We cannot afford to stick together anymore. The tides have changed, and the situation in the place is growing much too dangerous and unpredictable for me to allow you to continue to stay." Luhan reasons, grabbing Jongin by his shoulders and hoping that the boy would listen to him just this once. The stakes are much too high, and Luhan doesn't want to gamble with Jongin's life. He's ruined it enough. "Go, rally my supporters, and I will make sure I will stay alive to see you again."

That's when the sound of a guard announcing the arrival of the Emperor startles them both, and Luhan desperately shoves Jongin towards the window, ushering him out of it. " _Go_ ," he implores, this time with much more urgency. "There is no time. Go!" 

Jongin takes one final, longing look at Luhan, and complies with his request. 

 

\--

 

"Luhan!" Yifan barks in anger when he walks into Luhan's chambers, feeling genuinely angry at his lover for the first time since Yifan had fallen in love with him. 

Earlier that evening, Yifan had intended to invite Luhan on a walk at the Imperial Gardens – just the both of them – because it's been far too long since Yifan had spent some time being alone with Luhan. Many things have happened over the course of the last few weeks, rendering him unable to accompany Luhan more often than Yifan would have otherwise liked, and he wants to make amends, all while taking a break from his responsibilities of running the nation. He had even dismissed his servants and guards – Zitao included – for the day, not wanting anyone else to intrude upon their alone time so that they could be at complete ease. 

It's when Yifan had rounded the corner and walked into the last hallway which would lead him to Luhan's chambers, that he'd heard the disgusting gossip coming out of the lips of the servants.

 _Consort Zhang is incapable of pleasing the Emperor_ , one of the maids had said – rather loudly, too – to her companion, who'd gasped mockingly and laughed. 

_Is that why the Emperor has to seek Consort Lu out all the time, to satisfy his carnal desires?_ The other had asked, and instantly Yifan saw red. The shock on the maids' faces is impossible to forget, and they had hurriedly knelt on the ground, heads bowed low when Yifan had appeared before them, his own facial expressions akin to an impending thunderstorm as he demanded for the truth. 

He doesn't think anything would have prepared him for the answer which had left the maids' mouths, of the identity of the culprit who'd spread such malicious gossip. 

"Luhan!" Yifan raises his voice yet again, "Where are you?!" 

Contrary to expectations, Luhan walks out of his sleeping area rather calmly, the faintest hint of a smile playing on his lips. "What seems to be the problem, Yifan? It is unusual of you to yell in such a manner." He quips as he takes a seat at the table, gesturing for Yifan to do the same.

Yifan doesn't. "You know very well what the problem is, Luhan." He hisses instead, and the surprise is registered on Luhan's expressions. "What is the point of spreading such vicious gossip? Is it not enough that I am paying more attention to you than I do Yixing?"

"Gossip?" Luhan wonders aloud. "What are you talking about, Yifan?" 

"Scathing rumours that I would always have to seek you out to be gratified sexually, because Yixing is incapable of pleasing me in bed." Yifan hits back at him, seething. Luhan doesn't even flinch, and looks up at him with a steady gaze. 

"Do you honestly think I am behind all this?" 

Yifan wants to scream. "I _don't know_ , Luhan. I have been trying to ignore gossips that you have been ill-treating Yixing, because I wanted to believe that you are better than this. That you would not let some ridiculous jealousy get into your head. So God help me, Luhan, tell me that this isn't your doing." 

Luhan raises a perfect brow at him. "You think my jealousy is unwarranted?" He asks, and there's a hint of loathing that surfaces from his word, instantly making Yifan doubt everything all over again. " _Six years_ , Yifan. We've been married for six years. How would _you_ feel if I were to tell you that I was going to be married to someone else?" 

Yifan's about to come up with another retort, but the latter part of Luhan's question has his words dying in his throat. He'd never really thought about it. 

And Luhan catches on to that hesitation without fail. "You have never considered it, have you? I am sure you would be jealous, _angry_ if you were to find out that I have fallen in love with someone else. So who are you to deny me of the right to resent Zhang Yixing's existence?" He says, and the fear overwhelms Yifan all of a sudden – fear that he no longer knows the person who's seated right in front of him. 

He's never known Luhan to be this cruel. 

"You are better than this, Luhan." Yifan tells him, then amends himself when he sees the steely determination in Luhan's eyes. "I thought you _were_."

It's only then that Luhan averts his gaze from Yifan, but his head is still held high as he says, quietly, "Sometimes, we do what we need to survive."

But Yifan doesn't hear that, because he's already walking out of Luhan's chambers, furious that the person he loves the most is capable of doing something this disgusting, and Luhan finally breaks. 

(He's not the one who'd spread such rumours about Yixing. He's above that, but who is he to convince Yifan otherwise, when he already refuses to listen to reason?)


	34. Chapter 34

It almost feels as though there's nothing in his life that's proceeding in the right direction at the moment, Yifan laments as he sinks onto his bed after yet another tiring day reading through scroll after scroll, feeling the bone-deep exhaustion gnawing at him. He watches wordlessly as the palace maids hurry in and out of his room, carrying buckets of warm water to draw up his bath, and steps behind the partition when he's finally left alone.

At the very least, Yifan has something to look forward to at the end of the day – something simple; _human_. The stressors have been piling on top of him as of late, pulling Yifan's patience taut and rendering him prone to temper tantrums over the smallest of things.

He's not blind to the way his ministers are barely acknowledging him on the Court – without being outwardly rude, of course, but it still offends Yifan all the same because he is their _Emperor_ , not a child who needs constant chiding and reprimanding – as of late, going against almost every suggestion which Yifan has made. More often than not, they would leave the Great Hall with none of the older issues resolved and with newer issues piling up on them. Yifan honestly doesn't know why they even bother convening anymore, when nothing fruitful is coming out of their discussions. It's almost as though they're doing this for the sake of silencing their guilty conscience, instead of for the betterment of the nation and the improvement in quality of life of the citizens. 

And then there's Luhan with his perpetual absence from the Court. 

Yifan had initially thought that he would remain angry at Luhan for a long while, for spreading rumours which aren't true amongst the palace denizens, but it soon becomes clear to him that he will never be capable of holding a grudge against Luhan for more than a day, when he finds himself searching for Luhan all the time. It's worrying, when Luhan begins to excuse himself from the Imperial Court's proceedings morning after morning, citing that he doesn't feel well enough to attend these meetings. If Yifan's ministers have noticed Luhan's continuous absence – Luhan has never missed any of them ever since Yifan had insisted he joined these meetings, a month into their marriage – they don't comment. They probably can't even be bothered. 

Yifan doesn't know what's worse, though, when he can't even seem to find Luhan in the places he would usually frequent – not in the private study designated for Luhan, not in the library, not even in the archives, where Luhan would usually indulge in a friendly debate with Kyungsoo. It's as if Luhan has suddenly turned into a stranger in Yifan's life yet again, back to the days when they used to be at odds with each other and couldn't see eye to eye over anything at all. 

Yifan has never been more afraid. 

When they finally cross paths once again – more than a week since Yifan had confronted Luhan about the vicious rumours – it's not within the confines of a private space where they could have a decent conversation in peace, but in one of the many corridors of the Forbidden City. A chance encounter while Yifan's taking a stroll around the place he can no longer comfortably call his home. The irony is not lost on him. 

The summer air is frigid when Luhan comes to a stop right before Yifan, back ramrod straight as he bends over to bow at Yifan in full view of their servants. When Luhan's gaze cuts up to look at him, Yifan can see the reluctance dancing in his eyes, the lines of his body stiff even when he straightens himself upon Yifan's request. It's never like this between them, the invisible wall of formality built up high on Luhan's side, and Yifan hates that he can see how much Luhan _wants_ to avoid meeting Yifan, his jaw set in disinclination. There's no way else around it, though, not when ignoring the Emperor constitutes as treason of the highest order. 

"This humble servant bids thee well, Your Majesty," Luhan greets, his voice hard and void of emotions, and it pains Yifan to see the dark circles around Luhan's eyes, so deeply set that it makes Yifan wonder if Luhan has been sleeping _at all_ as of late. He remembers when Luhan had busied himself with preparing for the Imperial Examinations all those years ago, and had sacrificed his sleep for the sake of studying as much as he can within a limited period of time, keeping himself awake with pot after pot of tea. It wasn't an easy feat, but at least Yifan had managed to talk Luhan into sleeping at more regular hours in the end. 

Luhan's wearing that exact same look now, cheekbones gaunt and eyes hollow, devoid of the usual mischievous spark Luhan would have whenever he sees Yifan, as though he's nothing but a soulless vessel, and a sharp pang of guilt stabs Yifan right in the chest. 

"Did you sleep well, my Consort?" Yifan enquires, even if he really wants to ask, _have you been sleeping at all for the past week?_ , because the servants are still listening in on their conversation. It will not do well for them to find out that Luhan and Yifan aren't on talking terms at the moment, for brand new gossip will spread like wildfire by the time the next dawn looms. Yifan and Luhan's relationship has always been viewed as strong and steady, unshaken by even the most daunting of challenges, and speculation will definitely arise if ever the news of their fallout escapes into the open. Yifan dreads to imagine what might transpire from it. 

"This humble servant appreciates your thoughtfulness, Your Majesty–" Luhan starts again, his tone clipped, and Yifan rightfully flinches. "–but there is nothing to concern yourself over. Your subjects are infinitely more important than I am, after all." 

Yifan scowls, because that is _not_ true. Luhan will always hold the most important place in Yifan's heart. "Luhan–" 

Except, Luhan doesn't give him the opportunity to say anything else, cutting in coldly as he bows again. "This humble servant simply must be on his way, Your Majesty. Please, excuse me." 

Luhan doesn't wait for his reply, either, when he gathers the hem of his robes and strides past Yifan with his head held high, his servants trailing after him with fearful looks on their faces, probably worried that Yifan would be enraged by Luhan's blatant show of disregard. Nevertheless, even as Luhan's retreating back grows far, the only emotion Yifan could chalk up is acceptance – acceptance of the fact that it's his fault they're like this at all. 

It doesn't stop him from clenching his fists in frustration, though. 

 

\--

 

The porcelain cup nearly slips out of her grasp and onto the floor the moment she hears what the other man in the room with her has to say, the shock shaking her to the core. Song Qian's hands are still shaking when she manages to regain enough composure to raise her gaze. "Father, do you hear yourself?" She asks, voice trembling as much as her hands are, but quiet enough so as to not be overheard. The room suddenly feels too cold for comfort. 

Seated across her, Song Lin is the epitome of calmness as he lifts his cup to his lips, taking a sip of the high quality _longjincha_ before opening his eyes to regard his daughter. "Of course, my dear daughter," he chuckles a little. "Are you doubting your own father?" 

Song Qian decides that her father must be out of his mind. "But what you're suggesting–" The strain is clear in her words, and she's sure he can hear her insecurities, her fear, "–it is treason of the highest order, Father. If anyone finds out, we will all be _executed_!" 

The possibility of being beheaded doesn't even faze Song Lin, it seems, for a smile spreads across his face in the next moment. "Do not forget that you are pregnant with the only child that the Wu Dynasty will ever beget with our current Emperor, my dear daughter. If the child is lost, then the Wu Dynasty will fall to ruins." He reminds her, and Song Qian's hand automatically shifts protectively over her stomach. " _You_ are the rightful Empress of the empire, and you will have to fight for what is yours." 

It's not as though Song Qian has never dreamt of it, however. She'd been dreaming of the life her father has envisioned for her – a life where she would rule by Yifan's side as his Empress – ever since she had met Yifan for the first time, back when he was twelve and she was fourteen. For someone who was younger than her by two years, Yifan's surprisingly mature, possibly because of his strict upbringing in the palace. His father had hired only the best of teachers to educate Yifan, and the privilege had been extended to Song Qian as well, considering her own father's status as the Prime Minister of the nation. It was then that Song Qian had found herself being mesmerised with Wu Yifan, and had slowly fallen in love with him.

It's a shame that he doesn't feel the same way for her, but Song Qian has never begrudged him. She's more than happy that she's allowed to stay by his side, even as a mere concubine. Song Qian has seen the way Yifan looks at Luhan, so full of love and affection that it makes her envious, but yet Song Qian also knows that she will never be able to rival Luhan's status in Yifan's life. And Song Qian is _contented_ , truly. 

"Luhan has done me no wrong. I simply cannot–" Song Qian raises her voice, wanting to go against her father's wishes, because she is simply unable to find it in herself to carry out what her father had just asked of her. 

She inhales in alarm when her father slams an open palm against the table. Song Lin is usually a calm man, and such acts of aggression is extremely rare. Then again, Song Qian knows better than to go against her father's wishes, especially when he's angry. 

"This is not a matter of what's right and wrong, Qian!" He barks at her, making Song Qian flinch at his intonation. He has never raised his voice at her in such a manner; the man is stern, that much is true, but he is never harsh. Not until now. "This is about securing your future and your status in the empire! Have I not told you before that you can never be merciful when you are a part of the _hougong_ , or you will end up being bullied for the rest of your life?!" 

"Yes, Father." Song Qian bites down on her rouge-painted lips, the strings of beads on her hairpin clacking audibly when she bows her head. Of course she remembers her father's words, the day before she had gotten married to Yifan. But Song Qian has lived a relatively peaceful life by keeping herself as far away from trouble as possible. Besides, no one would have dared to offend the daughter of the Prime Minister, either. 

"Then do as I say. This is for your own good. You will no longer live a life of being casted in the sidelines." Song Lin tells her, eyes narrowing in a scheming manner, and Song Qian swallows against her conscience. 

"Yes, Father."

 

\--

 

"Empress Dowager, may this humble slave please have a word with you?" 

Wu Zilin shifts slightly on her seat by the window to regard the person who had just entered her chambers, red lips curling cruelly upwards when she recognises the face. It's been more than two weeks since she had last seen the man, and she grows impatient from the wait. With one sharp look at her maid, she sends the girl on her way, wanting utmost privacy for the conversation that is about to unfold. 

The room is immersed in another five minutes of silence before the Empress Dowager finally speaks up, upon being sure that the maid would be far enough from the room to eavesdrop. "About time you showed up again. What have you discovered?"

"Many things, Your Highness." The man replies as he retrieves a scroll from beneath his robes and walks forth to present it to the Empress Dowager. "Consort Lu is hiding a lot of skeletons in his closet, it seems." 

The smirk on Wu Zilin's face only grows wider when she unfurls the scroll and reads through its contents. Her heart pounds in excitement in her chest at the prospect of destroying Luhan completely, every detail in the scroll incriminating and undisputable.

"Excellent."

 

\--

 

Yixing hesitates at the door to the library, where he knows he will find Chen on the reverse side of it. It has honestly been a long while since Yixing has had a private teaching session with the other man, the awkwardness having seeped into their easy relationship when Luhan had interrupted on one of their sessions and had called Chen by another name. 

Now that Yixing thinks about it, it had been juvenile of him to have gotten mad at Chen for not telling Yixing his real name. But how was Yixing supposed to have felt when he realised that Chen – _Jongdae_ – probably doesn't trust in him enough to let him know of his birth name? Jongdae had, on more than one occasion, claimed that he trusted in Yixing wholeheartedly. And yet. 

Yixing wants to mend their friendship now, though, and at least hear Jongdae's side of the story. He _wants_ to believe that Jongdae doesn't have the intention to hide it from his knowledge. Above all, Yixing is afraid that he has allowed the toxic side of the Forbidden City to seep into his being, and Yixing wants to fight against it. He's not going to lose himself and be absorbed into the darkness, when he has promised his parents to stay true to his conscience no matter what happens. 

In the end, Yixing makes up his mind to enter the library, knowing that if he doesn't muster up the courage this time, then he will never be able to summon his bravery to apologise to Jongdae the next time. 

No amount of mental preparation would have readied Yixing for the scene that greets him, though, when he walks into the study and is met with the sight of Jongdae locking lips with none other than Kim Junmyeon, Yifan's advisor. Yixing, having been frozen from shock, can't even buy himself enough time to turn around and leave the library without being discovered. Junmyeon's already making a noise of surprise when he looks up and finds Yixing staring right at him with eyes wide open, and within the next second, he's already trying to pull himself away from Jongdae, who appears rather confused until he registers Yixing's presence in the room. 

Unlike Junmyeon, however, Jongdae doesn't seem embarrassed at being caught. Rather, there's a smug smile on his face as he watches Junmyeon straighten his clothes and hair, Junmyeon's face flushed red until his chest where the colour disappears right beneath his robes.

"Consort Zhang–" Junmyeon greets, eyes never really meeting Yixing's, and Yixing can hear the stutter in his voice. Yixing would have laughed at the spectacle, considering the fact that Junmyeon's usually a lot more composed than this, but he's too mortified by the new discovery to even think. "–what a pleasant surprise to see you here. I, uh– we were not expecting you–"

_Clearly_ , Yixing wants to say, but he could only make a small noise of acknowledgement. "I apologise for intruding. I should have knocked." 

"No, no! It's fine, really." Junmyeon practically flails as he tries to reassure Yixing that this is all but an accident, though his flustered expressions and gestures only makes everything all the more hilarious. "I, um. I simply must go on my way. Emperor Wu is expecting me for a discussion. Have a good day!"

And with that, Junmyeon bolts right out of the door of the library, leaving a confused Yixing and still-smug Jongdae behind. 

"What was that about?" Yixing wonders aloud once the initial confusion has finally passed, and Jongdae actually has the cheek to burst out laughing. 

"I apologise for our indecency, Yixing, but Junmyeon is a little shy sometimes." Jongdae says as he dusts his robes off in an unaffected manner, before ambling towards the table where Yixing has already seated himself at. 

"Is Advisor Kim the person you were talking about the other time? When I had asked you about the person you fancied?" Yixing questions, and it's only then that the smile on Jongdae's lips turn bashful. The answer to his question is crystal clear, and Yixing feels glad on Jongdae's behalf. There is no other person who is more worthy of Jongdae's attention than Junmyeon, after all. 

"Ah, please do not let anyone else know of this." Jongdae requests, rubbing the tip of his nose self-consciously. "I believe they will not be as accomodating over the news as they would for the Emperor's relationship with Consort Lu and with you. Junmyeon's position will be at stake. I would rather not watch him being judged over his personal preferences when he is of great help to the Emperor." 

Yixing crosses an arm over his chest as a silent promise. "You have my word, Jongdae. I will not jeopardise Advisor Kim's standing in the Court; Yifan is facing enough trouble from the ministers as it is." 

There's a light in Jongdae's eyes which tells Yixing he knows more about the situation than Yixing thinks he does. "Oh, but Emperor Wu is a lot stronger than he portrays himself to be, even if he _is_ somewhat overbearing sometimes." He tells Yixing, and there's a fond smile playing on his lips. Something tells Yixing that Jongdae's a lot closer to Yifan than he lets on. Old friends, perhaps. "It is indeed a shame that the ministers cannot see his ability for what it is. The Emperor is extremely capable of running the country, if only his ministers would stop undermining him at every possible opportunity because of his sexual orientation and his age. It isn't a healthy relationship, what the Emperor has with his ministers right now." 

"And it is unfortunate that Yifan can't make an overhaul of his Cabinet. He needs the experienced minds to help him with the running of the nation." Yixing says, smile wry, because he's heard of Yifan's grouses on many occasions. It's frustrating, when Yixing is helpless in the face of things. If there is anyone who can defend Yifan, it would be Luhan, for the sheer reason that he has been by Yifan's side for so many years. In that sense, Yixing can't ever dream about rivalling Luhan. 

A moment of comfortable silence passes between them as they allowed the words to sink in, and when they're ready to speak again, Yixing's rather taken by surprise when they both apologise at the same time. 

"What are you apologising for?" Yixing chuckles, feeling oddly at ease for the first time in a long while. He's glad that at the very least, things between them aren't as awkward as he had initially imagined. 

"For not telling you my birth name." Jongdae says with a sheepish grin. "And you?" 

"For getting angry at you for not telling me such things." Yixing replies. His hand comes up to rub at the nape of his neck, suddenly feeling extremely ridiculous. It sounds outrageous even to his own ears. "Sorry."

"I had to conceal my birth name for a good reason. Remember when China was at war with Joseon?" Jongdae prompts, and Yixing nods in acknowledgement. Of course he remembers the war; it had been one of the bloodiest in history, one that no one would want to revisit if they had the choice. "My parents were defectors from Joseon, mainly because they could not see eye to eye with the ruling regime. My father was a very high-ranked officer in Joseon, in fact. The late Emperor took us under his wing, and allowed us to seek political refuge under his rule – on one condition. We had to change our names to suit that of the Chinese, and had to stay out of attention's way." 

"So... Only those who are close enough to you knows your birth name?" Yixing asks. 

"Yes, Yixing." Jongdae smiles. "Both Junmyeon and Baekhyun are from Joseon, too, but their circumstances are different from that of mine. That is why they can freely be seen in Court and before the ministers while I cannot." 

A pang of sympathy hits Yixing in the chest, though he can see how a person could live like a ghost in the palace grounds. Never seen, never heard by everyone but a few. "That sounds... sad." 

Jongdae merely shrugs at the comment, unaffected. "It does not matter much to me. I would rather work in the background, away from unnecessary attention. As you might have learned, attention in the Forbidden City is not exactly welcome." 

Another laugh bubbles out of Yixing's throat, feeling the irony wash over him at Jongdae's comment, simply because he's been in that exact same position. Nevertheless, their conversation is rudely interrupted when someone raps their knuckles against the wooden door of the library in quick succession, startling them both. 

There's a sense of déjà vu which stirs within Yixing when the door swings opens to reveal a guard, dressed in robes which declare his allegiance to the Empress Dowager, and Yixing finds himself worrying all over again. The woman would never voluntarily seek them out unless she has something up her sleeves, and this is one of those moments.

"This humble servant is terribly sorry to have interrupted your studying session, Consort Zhang, but the Empress Dowager has requested for you to meet her. _At once_."

Yixing doesn't like the sound of it at all.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought you might want to prepare some tissues. don't say i didn't warn you!

Being in the Empress Dowager's chambers always makes Luhan feel anxious, even if it has been close to six years since he's started living in the palace. He's been here far more frequently than he would have otherwise liked, too, owing to the Empress Dowager's whimsical requests for them to convene at her living quarters for discussions which aren't suitable for the sanctity of the Court, but it doesn't help to soothe the uneasy feeling Luhan would always get when he's here. It's almost as though every action of his is being scrutinised, for the sake of being used in the near future to blackmail him, if he ever dared to step out of line. 

Luhan doesn't respect the Empress Dowager – not at all, considering how vile she actually is behind closed doors, away from the eyes of the ministers who have been handpicked by her late husband – but he's not stupid enough to go against the Empress Dowager in the open, either. The Empress Dowager is a clever woman; that much is clear to Luhan. When intelligence is coupled with extreme hatred, it becomes a very dangerous combination. It doesn't help that Luhan is the target of her hatred, for having _seduced_ Yifan and taking the rightful place of a proper Empress in the most traditional sense, so to say. It's obvious that the Empress Dowager wants desperately for Yifan to instate Song Qian as the Empress of the Dragon Throne, especially after she had gotten pregnant with Yifan's child, and would stop at nothing to make her wishes come true. 

Coupled with the most recent intrusion of his room, however, Luhan becomes warier of Empress Dowager Wu Zilin's intentions. There are only two people in the entire palace who possess enough power to allow such intrusion without raising any alarm, after all – the other being Yifan himself. Even if they _are_ having a cold war at this very moment, Luhan doesn't think Yifan has any reason to request for his Secret Guards to search through Luhan's room. Yifan trusts Luhan implicitly for almost everything. Until recently.

That last thought leaves a bitter aftertaste on Luhan's tongue. If only Zhang Yixing did not exist. 

He hardly has the ability to feel surprised, however, when the guards of the Empress Dowager's quarters announces the arrival of Zhang Yixing moments later. She has the predilection of gathering them all in the same hall, as though wanting to gauge the hostility between Luhan and Yixing with her own eyes. Luhan has vowed never to give her the satisfaction of doing so, though. He isn't known to have a calm demeanour for nothing. A royal who loses his composure and fails to gain control over his emotions before his subjects and other dignitaries is not fit to be one, after all; he holds on steadfastly to that motto. 

At the very least, Zhang Yixing seems unnerved to find Luhan already seated in the reception hall of the Empress Dowager's residence, his smile shaky around its edges as he greets Luhan in full view of their servants. Luhan's almost tempted to remind Yixing of their little encounter the other day, but decides wisely against it in the end. He's confident that Yixing's mind is already hard at work, bringing back the memories of Luhan fucking into him, if the nervous glances he's throwing in Luhan's direction and the reddening of Yixing's cheeks are any indication of it. 

It's so easy to rile Zhang Yixing up. Amusing. 

Luhan shuts his expression off moments later, though, when the guards announce the arrival of the Emperor. If there's anyone Luhan doesn't wish to meet right now, it's Yifan. He's still rather upset that Yifan would choose to trust baseless gossips over Luhan's word when Zhang Yixing is involved, and he can't help but wonder what sort of merit Yifan actually sees in Zhang Yixing to be so protective over the man. It hasn't even been a year since Yifan had gotten to know Yixing, yet he's sacrificing six years of marriage with Luhan to stand by Yixing's side. 

Luhan will _never_ forgive Zhang Yixing for this, even if he does enjoy being in control over the younger man. 

He doesn't know what has gotten into himself either, to lose sleep and occupy his waking hours with every single activity possible to prevent his mind from wandering back to Yifan's relationship with Zhang Yixing. If Jongin were still here, his faithful guard would have reprimanded Luhan severely and kicked some sense back into his mind, if that's the last thing he does. In the past, Luhan had been prideful and a lot more dignified than this, but right now, he's reduced to nothing more than a man who keeps pining for his lover to look back and _find him_. Luhan has fought so long and so hard to finally win his rightful position by Yifan's side, and he's spent such a massive amount of time being with Yifan that he's actually afraid of being discarded to the side, and watching Yifan favour Zhang Yixing over him. 

But he _will_ wait – even if he does hate waiting – for Yifan to come back to him on his own accord. One day. Luhan's hands balls up into fists at the mere thought of it. 

Only when everyone of importance has gathered does the Empress Dowager finally make her appearance in the reception hall, and she wastes no time in waving all of their servants off, demanding for them to stay away until they are summoned once again. Her outfit today is more extravagant than anything she's worn thus far, though, something which she'd only wear during grand functions and festivities being held in the Forbidden City. It's almost as though she's celebrating an occasion which no one else knows about, and Luhan shifts uneasily in his seat. 

As expected, Yifan's always the first person to speak up about their meeting, impatience seeping into his words. "What is the reason behind your summoning this time, Mother? I may not look the part, but I am actually rather tied up with work. Please, with all due respect, kindly make this quick."

Instead of getting worked up like she usually would whenever Yifan's being insolent towards her, however, the Empress Dowager merely smiles. It's saccharine sweet, and Luhan barely suppresses a shudder at the sight of it. "Patience, my dear child. Your mother is but a little bored in the palace, and I would like to tell a simple little story I have recently heard."

The irritation is clear as daylight on Yifan's expressions, and he seems as though he's about to bristle at his mother for wasting his time and trying to tell them some probably nonsensical story, but he swallows that anger and inhales deeply. The Empress Dowager will do everything in her ability to keep them there, regardless, so it would be a wiser choice to let her say whatever she wanted to say right now. "Fine, proceed. Please."

"I'm glad you are inclined to listen, Emperor." The Empress Dowager smiles at Yifan, before clearing her throat softly. "A little more than two centuries ago, there was a powerful dynasty which had slowly lost its influence, all because of an Emperor at its helm whom could not win the hearts of his subjects over. The country suffered at his incompetence, which prompted one of his ministers to lead a _coup d'état_ and overthrow him. This minister eventually became the founder of the Wu Dynasty–" Her attention is on Yifan at this, but not after she had sent a meaningful look in Luhan's direction. "–and he is your ancestor."

"I already know that, Mother." Yifan frowns at her, fingers curled impatiently into his golden robes. "The story has been told to me many times in my lessons when I was younger."

"Oh, but your two Consorts do not know of this. _Do_ you, Consort Lu? I believe this part of history is not taught in the academies." The Empress Dowager's smirk is almost sickening, as though she'd sensed Luhan's obvious discomfort at the discussion of the subject. Of course, the story is more than familiar to Luhan; it's been drilled into his mind by now, from the sheer amount of times he's heard his father telling it to him.

And Luhan knows where exactly their conversation is heading towards, finally realises why the Empress Dowager has gathered all of them here. He wants to run. 

"I would not say that I am terribly familiar with them, but I have come across these materials while going through the archives, Your Highness." Luhan answers instead, injecting as much calmness into his words as he possibly can, all while hoping that the Empress Dowager would be appeased by his answer and would drop the subject. 

"Really?" The Empress Dowager muses, inclining her head towards Luhan with mock interest. "Then you would know what a coincidence it is, that the ruling family of the previous dynasty shares the same surname as you do. Do you not?"

Yifan's irritability at his mother's obvious attempt at stalling time is poorly concealed when he speaks up yet again, voice trembling in a failing effort to keep his composure together. "Mother, the character representing the surname of the ruling family of the previous dynasty is Lu as in 'deer'; Luhan's surname is the one that represents 'land'. I am sure you know as much; they may sound the same, but they are certainly different in every way possible. I do not understand why you are drawing such a weak comparison."

Wu Zilin's smile does not falter as she regards Yifan. "If you say so, my dear child." She quips, then asks for a servant to bring in an intricately decorated chest made of _huanghuali_ rosewood. Luhan watches nervously as she opens up the chest and picks up a jade ornament from within, before dangling it in front of her in full view of everyone else present in the room. It's a beautiful piece, almost lucent in the late morning light that filters in through the window, but Luhan feels much too nauseated to even admire it. 

Her scheming smile is turned onto Luhan within the next moment. Luhan struggles to even meet her gaze, his usual courage at facing up to the Empress Dowager gone without a trace. The room suddenly feels much too chilling, and Luhan shivers a little beneath the force of Wu Zilin's stare. "If you recall the scripts–" she raises her voice, ensuring that all ears are on her. "–there are sketches of the Lu family emblem depicted in them. I have requested for the Imperial Jeweller to inspect this particular piece in my hands, and he has ruled it to be the _exact_ same family heirloom of the Lu's."

"What are you trying to say, Mother?" Yifan asks, though this time, there's a hint of uncertainty which has seeped into his words. Luhan's stomach churns sickeningly yet again. "Where did you find this particular item?"

"Funny you should ask, Yifan. This was discovered in none other than Consort Lu's possession–" she explains to the sharp intake of breath coming from Yifan, and Luhan loses all hope in defending himself. Empress Dowager Wu Zilin is hell bent on getting rid of Luhan, and now she has achieved her aim. "–which brings us to the question: _why?_ "

Luhan's gaze flickers to his lap when someone suddenly grabs hold of his hand and squeezes lightly, and when he looks up dazedly, he finds Zhang Yixing glancing at him with concern in his eyes, instead of the condescending look Luhan had expected of him. He's no longer able to understand anything through the ringing in his ears. 

"Luhan," Yifan's voice pierces through Luhan's daze. The warmth in his words is gone now, sending more chills down Luhan's spine. "Explain yourself. Is this jade piece yours?" 

Luhan swallows hard and shuts his eyes, not wanting to witness Yifan's reactions when the truth is finally out. As it is, Wu Zilin already has him cornered, leaving him no room for escape, and it would probably be best if he were to be honest – even if it might result in his eventual death. 

"Yes, it is mine. I am the direct descendant of the Lu family, and had changed my surname to avoid raising suspicion," he therefore says quietly, to the sound of Yifan knocking his teacup over and Yixing's surprised gasp and the Empress Dowager's mocking laughter and his whole world shattering around him. He's kept this secret to himself for so long that he'd grown complacent and let his guard down, trusting that no one else would find out as long as Kai's presence wasn't discovered. How wrong he was. 

"Guards!" The Empress Dowager bellows once she's done basking in the moment, standing up proudly as she stares Luhan down. It's rather frightening, how the palace guards are quick to flood into the room, weapons held at the ready and directed at Luhan without fail. "Capture this person here for attempting to overthrow the Emperor! Search him for any possible weapons that might be used to assassinate the Emperor!"

Luhan uses the brief moment of hesitance from the guards to his advantage, and raises a hand to stop them. Even if he has admitted to something that is akin to treason – it's normal for descendants of fallen dynasties to want to reclaim what is theirs, after all – he will _not_ stand for them to strip him of what remains of his dignity. "I will do so myself." He announces, before reaching into his robes to pull out the dagger which has been a part of him ever since he was eight and his father deigned him capable of protecting himself. Luhan then drops it onto the ground with a resounding clatter, before raising both his arms in front of him to allow the guards to chain him up. He steadfastly avoids meeting Yifan's gaze, but he's not lost on the disappointment that fills the room. 

"Empress Dowager, there must be some sort of mistake. Han _gege_ cannot possibly be capable of betraying the Emperor, or to hold such thoughts–!" Yixing cries foul when another guard approaches Luhan, stunning the other man into an uncertain limbo. Luhan is still the Imperial Consort, after all, and Yifan's words are still to be taken as the ultimate orders to take him into custody. With another Consort standing in the way, it's only natural for the guards to hesitate. 

But Luhan can't fathom why Zhang Yixing would want to jump into his defence, for everything Luhan has done to him. Yixing could easily be ruled as Luhan's accomplice, too, and it would not bode well for his status. 

Wu Zilin is having none of this, though, when she folds her hands in front of her and glances at Yixing almost serenely. "And you know this, because? Can you really claim to understand Luhan, his background and his intentions well, when he has kept this massive secret from _everyone_ , including his beloved spouse the Emperor here?"

"I–"

"It is an undeniable fact that Luhan is a dangerous entity if he were to be allowed to roam freely by the Emperor's side any further!" Wu Zilin interrupts Yixing once again, pinning Luhan down with a victorious look, and the smirk that spreads on her cruel lips is testimony to the words she's about to say. "I say he should be _executed_ without trial!"

Even for such a dooming announcement, Luhan's inner state of mind is surprisingly very much at peace. There's only an infinite amount of numbness that stretches on, leaving the ends of his fingers and toes tingling and his heart hollow, but Luhan does not fight against it. He doesn't have the right to. 

"No." Yifan's voice rises above the commotion in the room, and everyone falls silent immediately – even the Empress Dowager. They're all waiting for his verdict, no doubt, but the look on the Empress Dowager's face does not falter in the slightest. "Consort Lu will not be executed, nor will he be thrown into prison. Anyone who goes against my words _will_ be executed in his stead." 

Despite the presence of their subjects, Wu Zilin still manages to scoff disbelievingly at Yifan's decree. "Then how to do you propose he be dealt with? He cannot possibly be allowed to stay in the Forbidden City any longer, when he poses such a great threat to your life!" 

Yifan's stern look is unwavering when he turns to regard his mother, the hatred clear in his eyes. "I command you to remove those binds from his wrists." He says, directing it to the guard who's closest to Luhan. The man immediately complies with Yifan's words, much too afraid for his own life to disobey. "My decree remains – Consort Lu will not have any punishment that will endanger his life be imposed upon him. We have been married for six years, and he has never once shown nor proved to be a threat to my life; therefore I fail to see why he should have his life taken from him. In return, considering the Empress Dowager's concerts about my safety, Consort Lu will hereby be stripped of his title and banished from the Forbidden City, and shalt never return to this place ever again. If he shall go against this decree, then he _will_ be allowed to be killed on sight. Is that enough for you, Mother?" 

The dissatisfaction is poorly concealed on the Empress Dowager's features, but she turns away almost immediately and walks out of the room, knowing that she will never be able to override Yifan's words once he's made up his mind. "Do whatever you please." 

"All of you, stand down." Yifan then turns to the guards who are still standing awkwardly in the room. In that instant, Luhan sees Yifan as the true Emperor of China, and not as Wu Yifan, the man he loved – and still loves – dearly. And when they're left alone in the reception hall of the Empress Dowager's quarters, Yifan finally turns to look at Luhan – _really_ – look at him. The betrayal Yifan feels deep within is reflected on the hard lines of his features, and it makes Luhan sick to the stomach yet once more.

"Follow me. We need to talk."

 

\--

 

The air in Luhan's chambers is stifling as he pauses at the doorway to his room, watching as Yifan angrily takes a seat on the chair in the middle. Even though Yifan has lost his temper at Luhan several times before, none of them are comparable to the amount of rage Luhan can feel radiating off from Yifan right now. 

What makes things worse is that Luhan can't even find the will in himself to feel unjust. It _is_ , after all, his fault for having concealed such a great secret from Yifan. The deception in itself is unforgivable, Luhan knows. Accepts it. But it doesn't stop Luhan from berating himself for having allowed this to happen at all. 

"Why have you never mentioned about this to me?" Yifan asks moments later, shattering the silence and filling the spaces around them with fury. "To think that you are the direct descendant of the dynasty my ancestor had destroyed." 

Luhan wrings his hands before him, fiddling with his fingers nervously. What is he supposed to tell Yifan? That his father had trained him from young in the ways of someone who has lived in the palace all his life? That his father had wanted for Luhan to infiltrate the palace – by hook or by crook – and reclaim the Dragon Throne that is rightfully theirs before Yifan's ancestors had ousted them? That Luhan had honestly wanted to do his family proud by proceeding with his father's plans, hence his initial interest in befriending Yifan in the first place, even though Yifan had once offhandedly insulted his works when they'd first met? 

That somewhere along the line, Luhan had forgone all thoughts of exacting revenge for his family, having fallen deeply, madly in love with Wu Yifan, and could not even bear the thought of _harming_ Yifan with his actions, let alone take the life of his lover with his own hands? 

Luhan doesn't think that Yifan would understand, not when he's already blinded with rage and has probably lost the ability to reason.

Instead, Luhan chooses the safest answer he can manage, even if it's a cowardly escape. "You never asked. I did not see the need to bring this up, especially when it is something of such incriminating nature." _Because I love you too much to lose you._

Yifan whips his head towards Luhan, and Luhan hates seeing how _torn_ Yifan is. He's not making things any easier for Luhan to leave. "I trusted in you to _trust_ me enough to tell me! I have told you once that I couldn't care less where you came from, or about your family background, have I not?! But I expected for you to at least let me know of such things, and not keep me in the dark for so many years!"

Luhan swallows hard against the bile that's rising up the column of his throat, knowing that his next words will not only hurt Yifan, but also himself. "Then do you, for even a second, really think that I am capable of what the Empress Dowager is accusing me of? To assassinate you when you least expect it?"

Yifan's eyes searches Luhan's for a long moment, as if wanting to read into his thoughts and find the answer he needs. But in the end, he merely sighs and weakly rises to his feet. "Does it matter anymore, now? When I have been forced to banish you from the Forbidden City?" His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, but it sounds so shattered that it makes Luhan's knees buckle under his weight. This is not how things are supposed to be. 

Luhan doesn't respond immediately, however, knowing that nothing he says will be able to make amendments for the massive lie he's told. Yifan takes his silence as his definite answer, and walks past Luhan without saying another word.

Luhan sinks to the ground gracelessly when Yifan's finally gone, having seen the silent tears Yifan had shed on his way out, and his battered heart breaks for the umpteenth time today, making Luhan cry out loud for the first time in his life. 

_It matters_ , he repeats feverishly to himself, even as his tears spreads across the fabric of his silk robes and drenches it, _it matters to me that you do not hate me for this._

 

\--

 

He's entirely numbed, incapable of feeling anything else but a hollow discomfort in his chest.

It shouldn't hurt this much, having had his trust betrayed by the person he loved the most, but it does. Yifan has already shed so much tears since he had walked away from Luhan's chambers that his eyes are sore, and only a dull ache is left behind, along with the drying tear tracks on his face. 

Six years. Six years, and Luhan has never bothered to mention to Yifan about his family background, especially when it is one of such importance. He doesn't believe – doesn't even consider the possibility – that Luhan would assassinate him at all, like his mother has accused Luhan of doing, because he trusts in Luhan enough to know the look in his eyes, the light that speaks of the immense love which Luhan holds for Yifan. 

But that is where the conflict comes in. With his mother having discovered such a damning piece of information, Yifan _knows_ that he has to do everything in his ability to protect Luhan from harm's way. His mother would have had someone drag Luhan out to the Main Courtyard and ordered for his execution at once if Yifan hadn't stepped in to stop her, and banishing Luhan from the palace seems to be the only plausible course of action. At the very least, he would be able to ensure that Luhan stays safe, so as long as he does not set foot near the palace – even if it kills Yifan at the mere thought that he will never be able to see Luhan ever again for as long as he lives. 

This is his atonement for all that he's done wrong. 

Yifan stirs from his perch on the bed when someone walks into his chambers and calls him softly by his name, and he has to force a smile when he finds Yixing standing at the doorway, the lines of his body hesitant. 

"Yifan, are you feeling alright?" Yixing asks, and he obeys when Yifan beckons him forth. Luhan will be leaving the Forbidden City soon, he knows. Zitao has made sure to relay the information to him, which Yifan is grateful for. At least, he will know that Luhan has walked away safely. He doesn't trust his own mother at all. 

"Does it look like I am alright?" Yifan croaks brokenly, pulling Yixing into his arms and savouring his warmth. He's just so exhausted. 

Yixing doesn't say anything else, merely allowing Yifan to keep his arms around his frame, Yixing's fingers combing gently through the messed up strands of Yifan's hair. 

Yifan's not the only one hurting. 

 

\--

 

He pauses at the gates, turning around to regard the place he's called home for the last six years. The many structures of the Forbidden City towers over his small figure, casting him in the shadows of the setting sun. 

This is a place which holds an abundance of memories, whether good or bad, and while its environment is toxic to the souls who reside within, Luhan still feels rather sad to have to leave. He ignores the upsetting recollections, deciding to focus only on the happier times he's had – most of them involving Yifan. He doesn't think he'll be able to hate Yifan completely, no matter what the man does to him, because Luhan's love for Yifan will always take precedence. They've given each other their hearts, and it's one fact that no one will be able to change, no matter what. 

His grip on the strap of the bag holding his belongings tightens when he remembers that Yifan will not be here to see him of. Yifan has made his stand clear, that he no longer wants to have anything to do with Luhan, and Luhan has no reason to hope. 

What surprises him, though, is for him to find his closest friends in the palace standing behind him when he turns around to leave. It brings a small, grateful smile to his face, even if he feels sad deep within. 

"How did you know I would be here?" Luhan finds himself asking. Junmyeon, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo grins back. 

"A kind soul told us. You would have left without letting anyone else know, would you not?" Jongdae quips, walking forward to pull Luhan into his embrace. Luhan feels warmed by the gesture.

"I'm sorry things had to turn out like this, Luhan." Junmyeon chips in, the smile on his face tinged with sadness. "The Empress Dowager knows not when to stop." 

Despite the heaviness in his chest, Luhan tries to shrug as nonchalantly as possible. "I know her well enough to understand that she wanted me out of the picture. I can imagine her throwing a feast to celebrate my leaving at this very moment."

No one laughs at Luhan's words, because they paint a grim picture of the future of the palace. With Luhan gone and no one to keep the ministers in line, they are going to pressure Yifan even more to do as they say. As if they aren't doing enough of it already. 

"Take care of yourself out there." Kyungsoo tells him, and in a lower voice, "She might send someone after you, even after you have left. You know how she is." 

Luhan squeezes Kyungsoo's hand in thanks for the warning, and after exchanging several more words and advices, he prepares himself to finally step out of the Forbidden City, only to never to return. 

Until someone calls after him, that is, and Luhan is surprised yet again when he realises that _Zhang Yixing_ , of all people, is running in his general direction. He's even more baffled when Yixing inconspicuously slips a heavy object wrapped in thick layers of cloth into Luhan's hands the moment Yixing stops before him, urging him to hide it from view. 

"Your dagger." Yixing whispers when he pretends to give Luhan a hug. "I managed to retrieve it thanks to Baekhyun's help. I know you will need it."

Luhan doesn't even know what he should say in response to Yixing's considerate gesture. He'd thought he would never lay his hands on the dagger again, and quietly mourned for the loss of a treasured family heirloom in the final moments he had spent in his chambers, but apparently he thought wrong. 

"Why are you going through such lengths, after all that I have done unto you?" Luhan finds himself asking, utterly confused. Yixing has every right to despise Luhan for all the torture he's put Yixing through, and Luhan would have been accepting of it. Right now, it only amplifies the guilt he feels inside. 

"Because Yifan still loves you a great deal, and he will want you to take good care of yourself." Yixing replies, smiling softly at Luhan. "I wish for the same." 

Even though Luhan has never liked the thought of sharing Yifan with Yixing, he sort of understands why Yifan has fallen in love with Yixing right now. And he is actually okay with it. 

With a rare smile directed at Zhang Yixing, Luhan squeezes his shoulder in gratitude. "Take good care of Yifan for me." 

Yixing smiles back brightly. "I will."

 

\--

 

"Are we headed back to Luoyang, Master?" 

Luhan frankly isn't surprised anymore when Jongin steps out of the shadows to join him the moment the palace gates are closed shut behind him. He's only capable of heaving a small sigh, knowing that Jongin has been snooping around the palace even though Luhan has warned him explicitly to stay away unless Luhan calls for him. Jongin has never really been one to listen to Luhan, after all, though this time he can't find it in himself to reprimand Jongin. The sadness of leaving Yifan and the life they've built together behind is overwhelming, now that he doesn't have anything else to occupy his mind with. 

But there's also something else nagging at him, and Luhan turns to Jongin with a determined expression. "No, we are staying here, in Chang'an. Just out of sight."

As expected, Jongin scowls at him. " _Why_? That bastard kicked you out–"

"Something sinister is brewing in the background, Jongin. I cannot possibly leave for Luoyang when Yifan's life is in imminent danger." Luhan explains, smiling a little and hoping that Jongin could pick up on his intentions. "We stay."

The reluctance is obvious when Jongin inclines his head slightly so as to not attract attention to themselves. "Very well, Master, if you so wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **notes!:**  
>  \- Luhan's actually using the surname 陆 instead of 鹿 in this fic; they're both pronounced in the same way, hence why Yifan had been sceptical when the Empress Dowager tried to pin the blame on Luhan in the first place. I hope it clears things up a little!


	36. Chapter 36

"Consort Lu has left the parameters of the Forbidden City, Your Highness. Would you like this humble slave to go after him?" 

Empress Dowager Wu Zilin, who had been watching a dancer perform for her to dispel her boredom, pauses to consider the proposition. It is a tempting one, especially when Luhan is basically defenceless outside the palace grounds, and it would be extremely easy to get rid of him once and for all. But then Wu Zilin remembers the decree Yifan had made, the one which had resulted in Luhan being exiled from the palace – _Luhan shall never set foot in the Forbidden City ever again, or he shall risk being executed on sight_ – and relaxes a little in her seat. At the very least, there is one threat less in the palace to distract Yifan from what should be done.

Not to mention that Luhan is actually the greatest threat in Wu Zilin's books. One can never be too sure what Luhan is scheming in the shadows with his brilliant mind, and coupled with the newfound knowledge that he is the direct descendant of the now-defunct Lu Dynasty... He definitely cannot be allowed to live, but it is still much too early to make a move on his life. It would seem too suspicious if Luhan were to be killed upon leaving the Forbidden City, and Wu Zilin expects for Yifan to have sent some of his secret guards to tail after Luhan in the shadows. _Just in case_ , she can almost hear her son say; Yifan always pays an unhealthy amount of attention to details, and would always play it safe. 

Her decision is made in an instant, and Wu Zilin lounges back in her seat, pressing the cup of fragrant _da hong pao_ to her lips. Wu Zilin smiles for the first time in a long while, savouring the glorious taste of victory on her part. She hadn't thought that it would be this easy to oust Luhan from the palace. 

"No," she says in the end, once the _da hong pao_ has warmed her up enough, her voice steady and unwavering. Wu Zilin doesn't forget to keep her poise before her subjects, even if she does want to break into a wide smile at her success. "We shall wait until the matter quiets down, and _then_ we strike when he is most unsuspecting of us."

"Understood, Your Highness." The man bows again, before raising his gaze a little to regard the Empress Dowager. She is by no means difficult to look at, and appears much younger than her actual age, owing to the scented powder of the highest quality that is being imported into the country from another nation. His cheeks pinks ever so slightly when she smiles at him, but he keeps his gaze steady – bold, but not bordering on insolent. "Is there anything else you would like this humble slave to carry out on your behalf, Your Highness?"

Her smile widens at the question; he is ever so docile, ever so loyal, and ever so ready to carry out orders. No wonder Yifan has always preferred to keep him close, even when there are guards who are far more competent and skilful. "That is all for now, Huang Zitao. You have done a good job for me. As such, you will be rewarded accordingly."

Zitao can't manage to hide his elated grin, even when he bows at the Empress Dowager yet again. "Thank you for your praises for this humble slave, Your Highness. I am proud to be able to serve you."

 

\--

 

Song Lin's delighted laughter rings through the space upon hearing the piece of news which his servant had brought to him, about Imperial Consort Lu being stripped of his official title and exiled from the palace grounds for the sole reason that he's the direct descendant of the previous ruling dynasty, and as such is under suspicion for intended treason. It's not widespread news – not _yet_ , anyway – as the Emperor would probably want to keep things under tight wraps; it would not bode well for his image if the news were to be leaked, and questions would definitely fly, but Song Lin is more than happy to get what he can from this situation. After all, it's not difficult to plant spies in the _hougong_ where most of the drama happens, especially when a handsome sum of money is offered in exchange for reliable information.

And this news of Luhan getting banished from the Forbidden City is as accurate as it can get, considering that it came from the mouths of the guards who were at the scene when the Emperor had made his decree.

In that sense, Song Lin thinks that Wu Yifan is all too naïve, for having given in to pressure this easily. He's not complaining, though. 

Beside him, however, his daughter is a mask of grimness as she slowly feeds herself with the herbal soup which has been boiled especially for her. It's good for her pregnancy, Song Lin has been told, and he's insisted for the Imperial Healer to provide Song Qian with a serving each day. Anything at all to ensure that the child in her womb grows well, for it will give Song Lin the leverage he needs against Wu Yifan, and to coerce the Emperor into listening to him. He needs that now, especially when Wu Yifan seems more keen in listening to his advisor from Joseon and his Imperial Consorts who are very much male and therefore, repulsive in Song Lin's eyes. Men are supposed to procreate with women and not those of the same gender.

Song Lin doesn't understand why Yifan couldn't have fallen in love with his daughter instead. Song Qian is the perfect epitome of everything an Empress of China should be – the brains, the beauty, the influence – and can command the attention of the entire room the moment she enters it. Anyone else would have agreed with this.

And yet. 

"Why the long face, my dear daughter?" Song Lin asks once Song Qian is done with the final scoop of soup, and has pushed the bowl aside. "You should be rejoicing like your father here. After all, we have managed to eliminate the greatest obstacle to your ascension to the title of Empress, as you should have been years ago." 

The smile Song Qian manages at him is weak at best. "My previous thoughts still ring true, Father. I do not think it is appropriate for me to be happy for Luhan's fate. He has not done me any wrong." She says, and Song Lin sees red. 

If there's one thing he thinks is inadequate about his daughter, it's the fact that she is much too yielding towards her rivals. She could have won Wu Yifan's heart over if she tried a little harder; Wu Yifan had been smitten by Song Qian once, when he was much younger and was still the Crown Prince. That was before he'd been allowed to venture the streets as a commoner by the late Emperor and the Empress Dowager, and had met Luhan on one of his travels. 

"How many times must I tell you this – you are a part of the Forbidden City, a _royal concubine_. The harsh reality of the Emperor's _hougong_ dictates that you _must_ be ruthless, merciless, and oust as many of your opponents as you possibly can without exposing yourself." He hisses, watching Song Qian flinch from his intonation. He's hardened himself enough to withstand this, however; Song Lin has long since learned that being merciful will only lead to one's unfortunate downfall, and has seen enough people go down that path, only to be toppled from their positions by those who are more callous with their methods. It wouldn't have otherwise explained why Song Lin has managed to hold on to his prized position for so long in the government, as its Prime Minister no less. "Now are you going to listen to me, or are you planning on cutting ties completely with the Song family and live as you please as the Emperor's concubine, with the possibility of him never casting another glance in your direction ever again?"

The words are sharp enough to pierce through Song Qian's defences, and her determination to follow her own principles falters a little from the look on her face. Fathers would know their own daughters best, and Song Lin _knows_ just how much Song Qian loves Wu Yifan and would be willing to do anything for his sake. She'd lucked out when the Empress Dowager had picked her as the candidate to procreate with the Emperor – even if it _is_ a consummation of their loveless relationship on Wu Yifan's part – and to hell if Song Lin doesn't capitalise on it. 

"I understand, Father. What do you require of me?" Song Qian says in the end, and Song Lin smiles. 

 

\--

 

It gets increasingly difficult to concentrate on the task of running the country these days, when all Yifan can think of is Luhan Luhan _Luhan_. 

Humans are pitiful creatures, of course, only realising how much someone means to them once they've lost the other person for good. Yifan hates that there's nothing else he could have done but to banish Luhan from the Forbidden City in order to protect him, especially when he's the Emperor of China and supposedly holds a great deal of power in his hands. Their last conversation didn't exactly go well enough for Yifan to explain his motives, either, leaving behind a mountain of regrets on Yifan's part. Then again, it's probably for the best that Yifan did not clarify himself – at least it's possible for Luhan to hate him wholeheartedly, and would willingly cut off all ties with Yifan. 

His heart thumps painfully against his chest wall, but Yifan still grits his teeth and takes it in his stride. He _has_ to be strong – for Luhan's sake if not for himself. For Yixing. For his subjects. His country. 

"Yifan–" A gentle voice seeps into his consciousness, jolting Yifan out of his reverie, and when his vision manages to refocus, he realises that another hand is cupping his own one which is holding onto the writing brush, and that he's made a complete mess of the scroll that lays open on the table. Yixing's dimple that's all too familiar to him greets him next, and Yifan releases a shuddering breath, having finally snapped out of his daze. Yixing's smile is so incredibly warm. "–you are going to snap your beloved writing brush in two if you apply any more force on it."

At that, Yifan jumps a little and immediately rests the brush against the inkwell, fearing that he will damage it like Yixing had said he would. The brush is a Xuan brush specially procured from the Anhui province by Luhan himself, as a gift for Yifan's birthday two years ago. It's not as much the value of the item, but the fact that he had an artisan carve a short poem about their love onto the handle that makes it all the more precious. "I apologise for that, Yixing. Did you say anything of importance before this? I'm afraid I have not been paying much attention."

The smile that Yixing responds with is patient and understanding. Yixing has, of course, bore the brunt of Yifan's in attentiveness over the last couple of days since Luhan had left, but he has never once complained about it. For that, Yifan is grateful. He can't imagine chasing away two of the people he loved with his own hands. At least he knows Yixing is in good hands with Baekhyun guarding him; other people would tend to underestimate Baekhyun, and it's the advantage he needs to overpower his opponents. "No, Yifan, I have not. I had just entered the room when I saw you gripping your brush so tightly. Are you–" Yixing swallows, and it's only then that the first traces of uncertainty appear on his expressions. "–are you thinking about Han _gege_ again?"

Yifan doesn't miss the tender way Yixing had said Luhan's name, but he doesn't think much about it. It's a good thing that Yixing doesn't hold any form of animosity against Luhan, despite what Luhan might have done with him. He's seen the bruises on the insides of Yixing's wrist – bruises which did not come from Yifan and Yixing's lovemaking sessions, Yifan is sure – and has no doubt that there's only one other person in the palace who's daring enough to have left them on Yixing, in such an obvious location, no less. Yifan doesn't have the intention to clarify the matter, though; not anymore. 

He leans into Yixing's touch when Yixing cups his cheek with a warm hand, and closes his eyes. "When have I ever stopped thinking about him?" Yifan whispers brokenly, knowing that Yixing holds the same sentiments. He'd been cautious about expressing his longing for Luhan at first, worried that Yixing might feel offended by his words, but Yixing had conveyed his understanding about the internal struggle which Yifan is going through one day, and the rest is history.

 _It's okay if you miss Han gege, Yifan. I know how much he means to you, and I know how hurt you are deep within for having to remove him from the palace_ , Yixing had told him, and Yifan promptly feels like the luckiest man alive for having a partner who's so incredibly accepting. It makes Yifan love Yixing even more, yet his affections for Luhan doesn't decrease in the slightest. 

His heart jumps when Yixing plants a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, and nearly gets the breath knocked out of him when he opens his eyes and is greeted by the intensity of Yixing's gaze. "He will be alright, Yifan," Yixing tells him, and Yifan finds that he wants to believe in Yixing's words with all his heart. Somehow, it's more convincing when Yixing's the one saying the words – a lot more convincing that the internal monologues Yifan has been having with himself, anyway. "Han _gege_ is a lot more capable at protecting himself than he really lets on." 

Yifan remembers the dagger which Luhan had pulled out from beneath his robes. It probably holds a lot more truth than Yifan had otherwise thought. "Do you know something that I do not?" 

Yixing merely smiles mysteriously, and pecks him on the lips again, effectively dispelling the last of Yifan's worries, if only for a brief moment. "You will have the opportunity to ask him yourself, when you are able to meet him again." 

Yifan hopes that moment will come sooner rather than later.

 

\--

 

Song Qian nervously takes a seat on one of the chairs in the reception hall of the Empress Dowager's living quarters, feeling the weight of the object hidden in the sash tied around her waist even though she knows she technically shouldn't. The Empress Dowager had summoned her for a meeting while Song Qian had still been at her father's residence, and Song Lin had promptly pressed the object – carefully wrapped in two layers of cloth made of the finest silk and bearing with it a verbal warning to Song Qian to _never_ open it or lay her bare hands upon the object at any cost – into her hands, claiming that it is meant as a gift for the Empress Dowager. 

Song Qian doesn't even have to ask to know that it is something that would start off her father's plans for a _coup d'état_. She's overheard her father's discussion with several other ministers in Yifan's cabinet, of their scheme to overthrow Yifan and the Empress Dowager and to replace the current regime with a new ruling body that is better suited to their tastes – one where Song Qian's father would take the highest position as the new Emperor of China. And she definitely doesn't forget what they had planned; eliminating the Empress Dowager would be next, after they've ousted Luhan from Yifan's side. 

She doesn't doubt, for even a second, that they're planning on killing the Empress Dowager. _How_ , though, is beyond her knowledge, but she hopes that she doesn't become her father's tool in the assassination of the Empress Dowager. She would never be able to live it down, even if no one else finds out about it. 

There's an innate urge to turn her father in to the Emperor, by telling Yifan of her father's nefarious plans, but Song Qian is honestly afraid for her own life, and that which is growing within her. She's read the history books, describing in detail of how the fate of a mass execution would befall the family members of the one who commits treason, and she's sure that she would suffer from the same outcome even if she were to divulge her father's plans. 

For once, Song Qian _wants_ to be selfish, for the sake of the child she is bearing, as it contains not only her blood, but also Yifan's. And then there's the future of her being by Yifan's side, as her father had promised. Her yearning is much too strong for her to say 'no' to her father's request. At the very least, perhaps she could plead with her father to spare Yifan's life. It's wishful thinking, but she could always try. 

"Ah, Concubine Song," the Empress Dowager's voice startles her, though Song Qian quickly rises from her seat to greet the woman. Up close, the Empress Dowager's looks doesn't reflect her age at all, appearing a lot more youthful than she actually is. Song Qian wonders if that's the reason why the late Emperor had fallen for her and had made her his Empress, and there's a sense of bitterness that bubbles up within her chest; why isn't Yifan the same? "I hope I have not kept you waiting." 

"Not at all, Empress Dowager. This humble concubine has just arrived from my father's residence, and it is my duty to await your arrival." She smiles instead, hoping that her nervousness doesn't show. "For what reason has Your Highness summoned me here, may I enquire?" 

The Empress Dowager claps her hands once, and smiles when her maids bring forth some pastries and a bowl of bird's nest soup for her. "Is it wrong for me to want to enquire about your condition? You are, after all, bearing my future grandchild." 

"Of course not, Empress Dowager! Pardon this humble concubine's insolence–" Song Qian rushes to explain herself, only to be interrupted when the Empress Dowager laughs. 

"Worry not, Concubine Song. I will not treat you poorly. Rather, I should thank you for agreeing to bear a child with my foolish son. I know how you must have suffered all these years, wanting for him to pay attention to you, only to have someone else snatch what's yours from right beneath your nose." The Empress Dowager tells her, and for the briefest moment, Song Qian wonders if it comes from her heart, or if it's just another well-rehearsed speech. She's witnessed firsthand how cruel the Empress Dowager can be, a large contrast from the kind woman she had known since she was little and was given the opportunity to mingle with the then Crown Prince of the Dragon Throne. Perhaps it's true what they say – the Emperor's _hougong_ will turn even the most docile of persons into the vilest of creatures. Song Qian's worried that she might end up like that one day: cruel, merciless, _unfeeling_. 

Instead, Song Qian swallows her worries and composes herself to the best of her ability. "It is my honour to be able to have a child with the Emperor, Your Highness. How he treats me is his prerogative. This humble concubine does not have the right to object." 

"It's exactly because I know you would hold such thoughts that I have made a move on your behalf, Concubine Song." The Empress Dowager reveals, and it actually surprises Song Qian. "That is why I have forced the Emperor's hand in removing Luhan from the palace for good." The way she spits out Luhan's name like it's made of poison makes Song Qian's stomach churn; she can't see the evil in Luhan, unlike the rest of the people in the palace. He's earned his place by Yifan's side by winning over Yifan's heart. It's a fair game, as far as Song Qian is concerned. Song Qian can never compare. 

Nevertheless, she knows politics is a forefront in the governance of the relationship between the palace denizens, and she pulls out the most diplomatic answer she can manage, along with the object which her father had entrusted to her. "This humble concubine would like to thank you for your concern, Your Highness. Please, do accept this modest offering on my part."

It's only when the Empress Dowager unwraps the gift and produces a fragrant pouch that Song Qian finally realises what her father is up to. He intends to poison the Empress Dowager bit by slow bit, with the essence obtained from the poisonous petals of a flower. 

And Song Qian had just turned into an accomplice in this gradual murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year! :)


	37. Chapter 37

Yifan wonders if there's anything else in his life that's _still_ going well these days. It doesn't seem so, when he's been showered with one bad news after another. Luhan's background. Luhan's eventual exile from the palace. News of the drought worsening, crops dying, animals and humans alike starving, almost famished. The infighting between his ministers. The rumours of a _coup d'état_ gaining momentum. There's more, but Yifan would rather not think about it right now. 

It's not as though he doesn't have measures in place, though. Yixing's still hard at work, disbursing aid to the citizens living in the border and those areas which are hardest hit by the natural disaster to the best of his ability, and Yifan is glad that his last remaining consort is able to shoulder the responsibility, despite the amount of hatred that's being thrown in Yixing's direction – courtesy of the palace officials who are more concerned about conserving their wealth rather than helping out the citizens of the nation. _Their_ nation, but somehow, somewhere along the way, they had all forgotten about the oath they had taken upon being appointed as officials. They're supposed to serve the nation and its people, not to take and take and refuse to give back when the need arises. The mere idea that his officers could be so selfish doesn't exactly sit well with Yifan. 

Aside from that, both Sungmin and Han Geng have reported considerable success in rallying the army together in support of Yifan. Everything is still underground right now, as Yifan doesn't want to alert the members of the group that's planning a _coup d'état_ – not until they strike, at which Yifan would have enough evidence to punish them thoroughly – that he already _knows_ what they're planning on doing. It's only a matter of time, and Yifan has all the patience in the world to play this game with them. It wouldn't do for him to imprison those who are suspected to be involved in this movement to overthrow Yifan's ruling regime, not yet, for Yifan knows that it would anger the citizens even more. The last thing Yifan would like to hear is for his own people to label him as _cruel_ , when he's as fair as he can possibly be in the face of ruling the nation. 

The latest piece of news that reaches him, though, effectively has Yifan worrying. 

Ironically, it's also the first time that Yifan has gone to the Empress Dowager's quarters on his own accord in a very, very long while, his feet carrying himself there in a quick pace instead of the lethargic, reluctant steps he would usually take whenever he was summoned by his mother. As much as he despises his mother, Yifan supposes there'll always be a small part of him which would genuinely care for his own mother, considering the fact that she'd birthed him all those years ago. 

Yifan worries on his bottom lip as he paces outside his mother's sleeping chambers, having been informed by the Empress Dowager's personal maid that she'd fallen ill, and the Imperial Healer is taking a look at her at this very moment. Thin as his mother might be, she has never been _frail_ , and would never require the services of the Imperial Healer, as her illnesses were usually relatively harmless and would tide over with time. For the Imperial Healer to step in to intervene and for his mother's maid to have met Yifan so urgently over the matter, Yifan deduces that it must be somewhat serious. 

"Yifan, please, sit down. You are going to wear yourself out if you keep walking around, and it would harm your body." Yixing, who has been standing quietly to the side for the last twenty minutes that Yifan had been pacing about, finally speaks up. The gaze in his eyes is surer now, a large contrast from the hesitance he'd displayed in the past. For some reason, Yixing's mannerisms reminds Yifan greatly of Luhan – Luhan had always acted as an anchor in Yifan's life, keeping him grounded even in the most dire of situations, calmly pulling Yifan through every single challenge he's had to face – and his heart _twists_. 

Despite his agitation, Yifan listens to Yixing's advice and parks himself on the bench which had been constructed in the mini garden bridging the Empress Dowager's sleeping area to the main hall, burying his hands in his hair. He doesn't even care if his external appearance is messed up at this point of time, with how muddled his life actually is. It wouldn't make a difference. It's only a good thing that he'd sent away both their servants _and_ guards, though he won't be surprised if Zitao and Baekhyun are still lingering around somewhere, out of sight but not out of earshot. He can't even be bothered right now. "This is a nightmare. My entire life is a horrible nightmare." 

"Hey," Yixing reprimands softly, his hands on Yifan's shoulders anchoring him down, taking the tension out of them. Yifan feels another burst of affection in his chest, knowing Yixing's trying his best to step into Luhan's role, even if he doesn't have the intentions of usurping the title of Imperial Consort. Yixing's made his stand clear – he respects Luhan with all his heart, and would never do something that will betray him. He has no interest in the title, anyway, not with the amount of scrutiny it would put him in. "Stop being so hard on yourself. I am sure things will turn for the better, soon."

"Soon?" Yifan's laugh is short, humourless. "With everything going on, I doubt that would be happening." He says, gesturing at the set of doors which have been shut tight since their arrival almost an hour ago. "And then they decide to announce that the Empress Dowager is ill. Just perfect."

It's eerily silent within, a reminiscent of the time when the Imperial Healer had announced Song Qian's pregnancy, and as curious as Yifan is over what's going on, he doesn't have any intentions in disturbing the Imperial Healer while he's trying to perform his responsibilities. _He_ would hate it, if he were in the man's shoes.

Yixing has a small, placating smile on his lips when he takes a seat next to Yifan, pulling Yifan's hand into his lap and keeping it there. Yifan squeezes back gently in thanks. "For someone who dislikes the Empress Dowager and isn't afraid to be vocal about it, you sure care for her a lot." 

Yifan's responding smile is weak, wry. "All things aside, she _is_ still the person who had birthed me, no matter how much I would like to deny that fact. I would be struck by lightning if I were to wish for her ill-being." He says, sighing a little at the way Yixing's rubbing small circles in the back of his hand. "I wish it were easier for me to talk to her. It's so tiring."

"You will find a way, I'm sure. You always have." Yixing tells him, leaning in ever so slightly towards Yifan, his eyes fluttering shut. Yifan knows what it means; Yixing's trying to comfort him in the best way he can, and Yifan lets the last of his reservations go, wanting to close the distance between their lips.

But then they're springing apart mere seconds later, before Yifan's thoughts could even be translated into actions, when the door to the Empress Dowager's room creaks at its hinges, revealing the Imperial Healer from behind. The older man seems rather dishevelled, pale, very much unlike when he'd walked out of Song Qian's room, and Yifan's heart starts to sink at the possible implications behind the man's expressions. Yixing's warmth is still a constant by Yifan's side, and he links their fingers together behind him. Yixing squeezes back once, encouraging. 

"This humble servant extends his best wishes to you, Your Majesty. Your Highness Consort Zhang." The Imperial Healer immediately comes forth to bow at Yifan when he sees Yifan standing there. His hands are trembling, and it doesn't go unnoticed. 

Yifan's lips curl a little. Why was the Imperial Healer being so jumpy? "Forego the formalities. How is the Empress Dowager?"

Still, the man did not raise his gaze, as if fearing he would meet Yifan's furore if he did. "The Empress Dowager's condition is not looking too good, Your Majesty. Her Highness is down with a severe case of bronchitis, and it is affecting her health very much. I have prescribed her with the best medication we have."

The unsaid 'but' hangs thick in the air. "Is her life in imminent danger, then?" He presses, knowing full well that the Imperial Healer will not be able to lie his way through. It would mean treason, and his head would roll the moment Yifan sees right through him. 

The blood all but drains from the Imperial Healer's face at the question, and he bows impossibly lower, pressing his torso against the dusty ground in a bodily gesture of apology, the same words tumbling off his lips in a fervent mantra. Even if he hadn't said it outright, Yifan can make an educated guess.

His mother is possibly dying, and his stomach lurches sickeningly. 

 

\--

 

"Kai." Luhan calls out in the middle of sipping on his tea, eyes never leaving the cup that's pressed to his lips. 

There's a muffled curse, and then: "Yes, Master?"

The corner of Luhan's lips twitches a little in amusement at the way Jongin is trying hard to remain nonchalant, as though Luhan hadn't just caught him sneaking back into the mansion after being gone the entire morning. He's fiddling with his fingers behind his back, Luhan is sure, a nervous habit of his around Luhan which Jongin has never really learnt to get rid of – doesn't really have the need to, for the tic would only surface when they were in private. Outside, Jongin – _Kai_ – is cold, merciless, the way he needs to be. The tenseness in Jongin's shoulders are apparent, but Luhan doesn't call him out on it. Not yet. 

"Are you really trying to sneak past me, thinking I would not see you?" He asks as he takes another sip of his favourite tea. Jongin doesn't approach him the way he always would, and instantly Luhan is suspicious. 

"No, Master," is Jongin's reply, though it sounds more like a question than a true answer. It's only then that Luhan puts his cup on the tabletop with a soft clatter, looking up and holding Jongin's gaze. Jongin knows better than to turn away, or he would be ruled as guilty at once. For all that Jongin is ruthless, he is also virtually incapable of lying to Luhan. They both knew. "I was just about to head to my room after running some errands."

"Really." Luhan deadpans. "Would you care to explain why your shoes are covered with red soil, then?" He asks, knowing full well that Jongin understood what he's trying to get across. Red soil is only found on palace grounds – or more specifically, around the Empress Dowager's chambers – having been brought in by a foreign dignitary who wanted to appease the Empress Dowager. There's no way Jongin would have gotten them on his shoes while walking around town, Luhan is sure. He hardly ventured out of the mansion, but he wasn't stupid or oblivious. 

Jongin looks as though he's about to launch into a tall tale to cover his ass, but in the end he thinks better of it and heaves a defeated sigh. "I apologise, Master."

Luhan balls his hands into fists, feeling rather annoyed that Jongin had disobeyed him _again_. Why can't the boy see that Luhan is merely trying to protect him from the people in the palace? "I told you it is extremely dangerous for you to be lurking around the palace like that, Jongin. Are you only going to stop when you have gotten yourself thrown in jail, or worse, _killed_?"

He doesn't like scolding Jongin, he never does, because it would always make him feel like a terrible person at the end of it, but Luhan has no choice. He doesn't want to think about the consequences, if Jongin kept defying his orders and put himself in dangerous situations. Luhan would never be able to live it down.

It definitely doesn't help that Jongin looks like a kicked puppy right now, the remorse clear in his eyes, and it's such a large contrast from the killer Jongin has been trained to be that Luhan has to remind himself that Kai and Kim Jongin are one and the same person. "I'm sorry, Master. I really am. But I wanted to find out what was going on in the palace; the guards which came out of it seemed tense."  
The fight completely leaves Luhan just then, and he begins rubbing deep circles into his temples, trying to dispel the headache which had latched on to him with a vice-like grip. "Fine, what have you found, then?" 

This time, the way Jongin is looking at him is sure, grim, and above all, unsettling. "The Empress Dowager is on her deathbed."

 

\--

 

There's something distant about this, sitting in the gazebo by the Imperial Gardens with Yifan yet not nearly enough for the atmosphere around them to be affectionate. Of course. Song Qian doesn't expect anything more than this. In fact, she's more than surprised that Yifan had bothered asking her to accompany him at all, when he's made it clear he wasn't going to engage in anything remotely intimate with Song Qian ever again upon getting her pregnant. 

They all knew what the clause was, when the Empress Dowager had all but physically forced Yifan to bed Somg Qian in order to beget the Royal child, but Song Qian still felt bitter about the outcome. She'd thought Yifan's attitude towards her would be a little warmer, or at least return to the way it was supposed to be, when they were both too young and too naïve to understand the implications behind their arranged marriage and had been close-knit friends. But Yifan kept his distance, just like he said he would. The corner of Song Qian's lips quivered at the thought. If only. 

That's when Song Qian glances at Yifan – _really_ glances at him – and realises he has a deep frown etched into his forehead, seemingly in deep thoughts. Even though Song Qian isn't allowed to be a part of the Court proceedings, being a concubine of a lower rank beneath Luhan – and later, Zhang Yixing – she would always hear about it from her father. He never seemed to be able to stop himself from babbling away about that morning's proceedings, before continuing to criticise the Emperor harshly, and Song Qian would have to hold her tongue from lashing out at her own father that _Yifan cares a whole lot for his citizens. You do not even know how he truly is, spending every waking minute of the day trying to come up with plans to improve the lives of those who are a part of this nation_. She wants to, but she _can't_. Her father would be upset, and it's frankly the last thing Song Qian wants to witness. 

Of course, Song Qian also doesn't doubt that Yifan's missing Luhan greatly. He's fiddling with the ring on his finger an awful lot, one which is identical to Luhan's. They'd gotten them the moment they were married, a symbol of the vow they've made to stay together forever, and again the jealousy overwhelms Song Qian, even if she's told herself time and again that she was contented with this arrangement, as long as she's allowed to stay by Yifan's side. Why couldn't have Yifan fallen for her instead, when she has been there for him for as long as she can remember?

"How is the baby, Qian?" Yifan suddenly asks, making Song Qian jump a little in surprise. He's wearing a soft, tired smile when she turns to look at him, and her heart trembles at the sight. It's obvious that he's _trying_ to maintain a semblance of normalcy, and for that Song Qian is glad. At least she's not being cast aside completely, though Song Qian isn't sure what would happen once the child is born a few months later. 

Song Qian musters a smile regardless. "The Imperial Healer says it's growing well, Your Majesty. But more importantly, how are _you_ doing?" 

Yifan must have sensed that she'd very much like to talk to him about his life these days, for he heaves a burdened sigh and sends their servants away, requesting for him to be left alone with Song Qian. It's the first time he's ever done this, considering the fact that he'd only ask to be left alone when he's with either Luhan or Yixing, never Song Qian. As much as she's hoping for things to change, Song Qian also knows that this is a one-off thing. She purses her lips, but doesn't say a word about it, waiting patiently for him to divulge his story instead.

And, despite her expecting him to elaborate a lot more on his life, Yifan surprises her again by telling her a shocking piece of news. "My mother is ill. Gravely so."

This had Song Qian holding her breath. She'd never heard of it before this, which is a rarity in itself. News would usually spread like wildfire in the palace grounds, especially when the health of the Emperor and the Empress Dowager are concerned. Even if they aren't spoken aloud, it would still be discussed silently, in private. Unless, some _one_ had made sure no one else finds out about this–

–and that person is seated right beside her. 

"But..." Song Qian begins, unsure what to say. "The Empress Dowager rarely ever fell ill. How could this be?"

Yifan shrugs. Evidently, he's considered about this. "Severe bronchitis, I was told. A terrible lung condition. No one knows how she'd contracted it, but it seems as though it began about a week ago. The medications are not working."

Song Qian's heart practically stopped beating for a moment. It matched the timeframe when Song Qian had gifted Empress Dowager Wu Zilin the scented pouch from her father's behalf, which strengthened her suspicions that he might have imbued it with a poisonous substance. It doesn't help soothe Song Qian's guilty conscience, though; if ever Wu Zilin succumbs to her current bout of illness, then Song Qian would be her father's accomplice. 

She suddenly felt extremely sick. 

"Qian?" Yifan calls out for her again, the panic evident in his voice this time. "What is the matter? You seem deathly pale. Do you require of me to summon the Imperial Healer–?" 

With all her might, Song Qian manages a weak shake of her head, her fingers digging into the material of her robes in an attempt to keep herself anchored to reality. "I'm fine, Yifan. I think I merely need some rest."

It doesn't take long for Yifan to spring into action, ordering for Song Qian's maids to escort her back to her chambers at once and to make sure that she would get enough rest before walking about again, but Song Qian's mind is already scrambling to figure out what she could do to put a stop to her father's plans, and fast. 

She _has_ to, or Yifan would be her father's next target in the grand scheme of things.


	38. Chapter 38

The tips of Luhan's fingers are cold despite the ambience temperature being as warm as it can be for the late summer weather. For good measure, he keeps them laced behind him as Jongin heads up to the heavy set of doors to knock on it and announce their arrival, trying not to fidget from nervousness because it simply isn't _Luhan_ to fidget. 

It's been a long while since Luhan has had to do something like this, seeking out acquaintances related to his bloodline and the Lu family name for aid, especially when it has been _years_ since Luhan had bothered contacting them at all. If Luhan remembers correctly, his father's funeral was the last place he'd seen any of them at all, when they had still offered him a tight smile and their promise to lend him a helping hand should the need arise, for _anything_ at all. 

Luhan isn't lost on the fact that none of his family's acquaintances are supporters of the current ruling dynasty, otherwise they would not have rallied their loyalty behind the Lu family and everyone associated with the name. Then again, they're not staunchly opposed to the Wu dynasty, either – not that Luhan recalls, anyway. He crosses his fingers and hopes desperately that they'll keep their promise to help Luhan out no matter what, and that they'll listen to Luhan's explanation.

Jongin's words still ring clear in his mind. _The Empress Dowager is on her deathbed._

As much as Luhan despises her for everything she's done to pull him and Yifan apart, Luhan also knows the implication behind the sudden deterioration of her health: someone must have gotten their hands on Wu Zilin and had poisoned her in silence. And, when that perpetrator manages to eliminate the Empress Dowager from the picture, then Yifan will undoubtedly be the next target. 

Luhan simply cannot allow for that to happen, even when he can't stay by Yifan's side. 

He schools his expressions into impassiveness, standing some ways away from the mansion and concealed in the shadows of the setting sun as he watches Jongin hand the servant the Lu family emblem. The servant who'd answered the door didn't seem to have recognised it, judging by the reluctant steps he takes while examining the object in his hands in confusion. Not long after he disappears into the mansion, however, the same servant scurries out with a panicked look on his face, urging for Jongin to follow after him to meet with his master. 

Jongin exchanges a tentative look with Luhan, and Luhan finally steps out of the shadows with his head held high, striding into the mansion with the authoritative aura his father had trained him to possess. 

It's time to put his family name to good use. 

 

\--

 

The reception hall of the mansion is silent when both Luhan and Jongin steps within, bare of servants and almost every sign of life. The lanterns have already been lit to welcome the arrival of nightfall, casting the reception hall in a warm orange glow. Luhan heeds the servants request to take a seat with a silent nod of acknowledgement, and Jongin just as wordlessly takes his place behind Luhan, standing guard like the dependable guardian he is. 

Jongin might not know this, but Luhan is infinitely more reassured when he's by Luhan's side, knowing that there'll always be someone watching after him. Still, he does regret not being able to provide Jongin with a better life. Perhaps, there'll be a time when he can set Jongin free once all this is over, no matter how reluctant Luhan might be to part ways with his loyal servant. He can't be selfish forever. 

The master of the mansion hurries into the reception hall soon after Luhan has made himself comfortable, and almost kneels in greeting before Luhan, had Luhan not stopped him in time and excused him from all formalities. No matter the amount of years he's spent being Yifan's consort in the palace and received such formal greetings all the time, it still doesn't sit quite right with him. He's lived the first twenty years of his life being a commoner who's being trained into the role of an Emperor from young, yet there's nothing more than Luhan craves than to be _just_ a simple commoner, especially when he's seen enough of the backstabbing going on in the palace. 

He wonders if Yifan would be agreeable to live the simple life with him, should they lose the throne to the renegades. (He knows Yixing will not hesitate to say 'yes'.) 

"Prince Han," the man greets, sitting almost awkwardly in the main chair of the reception hall, evidently not used to seeing someone of such important status in his mansion. "It has been a very, very long while. I have not heard from you since–" _Your father's passing. Your marriage into the palace. You becoming the Imperial Consort._ So many words left unsaid, carefully skimmed over by the man for fear of angering Luhan. Luhan wishes he would be truthful with his words, for the light in his eyes speak of the opposite. He resists the urge to sigh at the title. He's not the prince; not since his family had fallen out of power. "–years ago." The man settles instead. "What brings you here to my humble mansion?" 

Luhan brings his thumb and forefinger up to rub at the bridge of his nose, attempting to alleviate the tension from his body. Jongin, probably having sensed Luhan's distress, leans forward to whisper in his ear. "Master, are you quite alright? Would you like me to take over this discussion on your behalf?" 

Luhan knows that Jongin has the poise to be very convincing when the need arises, knows that the guardian of the supposedly-exiled Prince holds more authority than his family's supporters could hope to have, but he shakes his head in the end. It's _his_ battle to fight; he wouldn't put Jongin in the spot. He isn't that cruel. 

"I require your assistance, Master Jung." Luhan speaks up once he's sure he has commanded the attention of the man. Master Jung's ancestors had served as the chief of the army when Luhan's ancestors had still been in power, and their families' relations have come a long way since. And, though having been demoted by many ranks in the army since Yifan's ancestors had come into power, the Jung family still possessed a significant amount of authority right now, through the man's son, Jung Yunho. Yunho had managed to prove himself time and again indispensible to the Wu Dynasty, and as such has a small army under his command – the Empress Dowager had managed to trace his roots back to the Lu Dynasty, and had placed a restriction upon the size of his fleet to keep him grounded. Luhan doesn't doubt that Jung Yunho would be able to garner the respect and obedience of a larger amount of soldiers should the need arise; he has that charisma to lead, if the things Luhan has been seeing over the years are anything to go by.

As expected, Master Jung is only to eager to comply. "What might it be, Prince Han?" 

Luhan sucks in a deep breath, preparing himself for the inevitable. "I have been exiled from the palace, stripped of my place as Consort–" Master Jung stiffens at once in his seat, face a deep shade of purple from anger, and Luhan can't say he's surprised. Master Jung hadn't been the most supportive when Luhan had made the decision to enter the palace as Consort, but had begrudgingly allowed Luhan to do as he pleases, having thought that Luhan had meant to infiltrate the palace to slaughter the Emperor once there is a perfect opportunity for him to do so. What he doesn't know, though, was the fact that Luhan had already fallen in love with Wu Yifan long before he'd agreed to marry Yifan, his intentions to exact revenge on his family's behalf dissipating into the wind the moment he and Yifan had consummated their relationship with promises of love. "–so I have my hands tied behind my back at this very moment. There is a _coup d'état_ underway in the Forbidden City as we speak, and I do not doubt that a siege would be forced the moment they have a window to do so. The Emperor's life will be in grave danger when that time comes." 

Master Jung appears genuinely confused. "Why is this your concern, Prince Han? Would it not be best if we allowed the siege to happen, and force our way in once the current Emperor has been toppled and the new government is still unstable to stand on its own?" He asks, then pauses when something clicks in his mind. By now, Master Jung has his eyes narrowed suspiciously at Luhan. "Unless–"

Luhan smiles, soft and almost wry, and hopes fervently that Master Jung would understand what he's trying to convey. 

The way his eyes widen in realisation is almost comical. "You are in love with the Emperor." It's a statement, not a question. An accusation Luhan can't even deny, not when he spends his waking hours and his dreams thinking about Yifan even when they're far apart. It kills Luhan not to know how Yifan's doing, if he's eating or sleeping well, if he's suffering at the hands of his callous ministers. "Why? Have you forgotten what his ancestors have done to yours? The Dragon Throne is meant to be _yours_ –"

"And yet, when will the revenging ever end?" Luhan cuts him off, feeling rather exhausted. He doesn't want to argue over this, not now. There are more urgent matters to discuss about at this very moment, and every second wasted meant that Yifan's life grows that much more endangered. "I am tired of this, Master Jung. A century spent plotting for revenge, generation after generation. I have no reason to hate them, but all the reasons in the world to love _him_ , so please, if you refuse to help me because of my _ancestors'_ feud with the Wu bloodline, then let me know and I will never bother you ever again. You have my word."

For a long moment, Master Jung is silent, eyes searching Luhan's for any hint that Luhan might be joking when he'd asked for Master Jung's aid to _help_ the Emperor. Luhan meets his gaze steadfastly, unblinking, wanting the man to understand that none of this is a tasteless practical joke, that he really needs Master Jung to lend him a helping hand. 

In the end, Master Jung heaves a long-suffering sigh, and buries his face in his hands. "Your ancestors will not be pleased when they find out." He says, but Luhan instinctively knows that he's won this argument.

"Then so be it; I will face up to them on my very own."

 

\--

 

"Why do you go through such lengths for a man who has found another?" Jongin asks the moment they step out of the Jung mansion and into the dark, lingering ways off from Luhan in an old habit he's never quite learned to shake off. Jongin has always tailed after Luhan in the shadows, never showing himself unless absolutely necessary, and Luhan wishes he would just stop. The distance Jongin puts between them isn't only physical, but also metaphorical. 

Luhan stops in his tracks and turns to look at Jongin. "Then why do you go through such lengths to infiltrate the palace when I have specifically told you to stay away from it, when I have warned you against the potential dangers of getting caught without me being there to save you?" 

Jongin seems stunned for a long moment, before his cheeks start to pink. And, as if on cue, he averts his gaze from Luhan, never quite meeting Luhan's eyes even though Luhan's pinning him down with a particularly intense gaze. "Because I know how much you care for _him_ ," he says instead of using Yifan's title, knowing that there might be people listening in on their conversation as they pass. The night crowd isn't at all thick, most of them having returned home to reunite with their families for dinner, but they can never be too careful. "And I know you would want to find out how he has been doing without you there."

"And?" Luhan prompts. The silent _because I love you, too_ is deafeningly loud in Luhan's senses, if the way Jongin had momentarily glanced at him is any indication of his feelings, but again Luhan decides not to acknowledge it. They both know what would transpire from this: nothing. When Jongin remains wordless, Luhan heaves a sigh and smiles wryly. "When you fall in love with someone, you would want to do everything in your capacity to ensure they are happy, even at the expense of yours. I am sure you would understand." 

"I certainly hope you will not come to regret this, master, or I will not hesitate to eliminate the person who will bring tears to your eyes." Jongin promises. Luhan is almost tempted to trust in him, knowing how fiercely protective Jongin is when it comes to Luhan, but he's also experienced enough to know that Jongin will never hurt the people Luhan loves, no matter how much he wants to. He's spent enough time being cradled in Jongin's strong, dependable arms crying his heart out, especially when Luhan had first been exiled from the Forbidden City, and has heard enough of the soft whispers Jongin tries to comfort him with when he thinks Luhan's too absorbed with his tears to hear. 

For that, Luhan is infinitely grateful, and he smiles fondly at Jongin, knowing he'll be able to pick it up even in the dark. The way Jongin ducks his head and mutters incomprehensibly only serves to reinforce Luhan's suspicions. 

 

\--

 

Yifan stares long and hard at the piece of parchment which lay before him on the table. It had been delivered to him by a palace maid that morning, who seemed extremely shaken and confused, as though having been caught by a masked person and had been forced to bring the message to the Emperor at once, _or else_. There are two columns of words neatly printed upon it, each character more ominous than the next. 

_The Empress Dowager has been poisoned; not suffering from bronchitis.  
And when she passes on, they will make their move._

For some reason, the writing seems extremely familiar to him, having seen it years prior, but he can't for the life of him remember to whom it belonged to. It definitely isn't Yixing, nor is it Luhan. The strokes and curves of the words are much too feminine to be identified with his two consorts, which leaves one person in question – Song Qian. There are, after all, only a handful of people in the palace who knew of the Empress Dowager's condition: Yifan himself, Yixing, the Imperial Healer, Song Qian, and of course the perpetrator, if the claims of the Empress Dowager having been poisoned is true. 

Yifan doesn't quite understand, though. Why would Song Qian be warning him, if the leader of the _coup d'état_ is indeed her own father? Song Lin is the most suspicious out of the lot, if the way the other ministers are throwing their support behind every word of his on the Court is anything to go by. As his daughter, Song Qian should be keeping mum over her father's plans, instead of warning Yifan in advance that something big is about to happen once the Empress Dowager succumbs to her current ill health. If Song Qian is worried that her own head might roll once Song Lin has been ousted as the person who's planning to overthrow the current ruling regime, then she is dead wrong. Yifan trusts, _knows_ for sure that Song Qian would not hope for such a fate to befall him, if the way she looks at him with tenderness in her eyes – much like Luhan – is good enough judgement of her stance. He would not punish her for her father's mistakes, especially not when she bears their child in her womb at this very moment. Yifan would hate for his child to lose a motherly figure in his life, even though he doesn't doubt that both Luhan and Yixing would take good care of it when it's born. He's seen enough of instances of Luhan and Yixing playing with the children on the streets, and he'd be damned if his heart wasn't warmed by the sight. It's one of the main reasons why Yifan had fallen for them in the first place. 

"Your Majesty–" Yifan raises his gaze from the parchment when a voice echoes in his study, and finds Sungmin kneeling before his desk, his expressions grim and jaw set. "–this humble servant has important news to inform." 

His pulse races at the hidden implication behind Sungmin's words. Sungmin was usually rather laid back, but this time, the lines of his body are tightly wound, as though still hesitating if he should report his findings. Yifan waves him on. "Proceed." 

His eyes widen further when Sungmin apologises for his insolence, and leans forward to whisper in Yifan's ear. There are people listening in on their conversation all around the study, even if Yifan has requested for them to stand guard outside, and Yifan realises _why_ exactly Sungmin is going through such lengths to convey the message. 

_Zitao is the one who had exposed Consort Lu's identity to the Empress Dowager_ , Sungmin had said, and Yifan finds himself clenching his fists in anger, feeling betrayed in more ways than one. Zitao is his most trusted bodyguard in the palace, and _yet_.

Is no one in the Forbidden City ever honorable enough for Yifan to invest his faith in them anymore these days?

 

\--

 

Kai sneaks past the guards at the watch tower once they've had their backs turned towards him, grasping the opportunity to slip into the palace the way he always has. He would always roll his eyes at them at this juncture, for being so horribly careless while involved in mundane conversation about their day. Kai can't even begin counting the times he's managed to get past them this effortlessly, and thinks that the Forbidden City's defences would fall apart fairly easily should someone decide to spring an ambush upon them. 

Perhaps he should mention this to Luhan one day, and advice him to beef up the security in the Forbidden City – _if_ they ever manage to set foot within these walls again. 

This night, though, Kai is sure that he will not be reprimanded by Luhan for sneaking into the palace again, having been requested by Luhan himself to infiltrate its grounds, though not after a stern warning to stay safe and out of sight. Luhan already suspects that the Emperor might have discovered about the plans of a _coup d'état_ , judging by the increase in military presence in the satellite cities around Chang'an, assuming that the information from General Jung Yunho is reliable enough for them to fall back upon. Luhan seems to trust in his words a lot, so Kai doesn't comment. Luhan's judgement is rarely ever wrong, after all. 

The mission tonight is simple: infiltrate the palace, get to the Empress Dowager's chambers, and find out just how ill Wu Zilin is.

News about the Empress Dowager's ill health is tightly controlled, the Emperor no doubt having warned everyone concerned to keep mum about it. Kai isn't surprised; it's exactly what Wu Yifan would do to keep the situation at bay. It would spell chaos, should the masses find out that the Empress Dowager is severely incapacitated by her illness. Every soul in the palace knows that the Empress Dowager serves as the bridge between the ministers and the new Emperor, the older ministers being silently disrespectful over a young soul such as Wu Yifan helming their nation. 

No matter how much Kai would like to deny it, he actually feels sorry for Wu Yifan. He's been shadowing the Emperor for years now, with the intentions of discovering why exactly his master is so completely smitten over this man, and had discovered the calibre of the young Emperor. He's level-headed even in the face of pressure, and can make good decisions many a time, only to have his ideas shot down by the older ministers in his Cabinet, simply because his ideas are fresh and thus force them to leave their comfort zone. Should the ministers be more accepting to change and Wu Yifan's bold ideas, the nation would have progressed a lot more. 

If there's anyone who should be ousted to preserve the ruling dynasty's reputation, it should be the ministers, and not the Emperor. Then again, Kai wouldn't be caught dead admitting to it, either. He's still unhappy that Luhan's affections lie with Wu Yifan and not him. 

As careful as Kai might be in maneuvreing around the palace, though – he's had every nook and cranny memorised in the years he's spent roaming the Forbidden City in the dark, right down to the guards' patrolling schedules – he's bound to slip up, and it is through an unfortunate circumstance that Kai finds a strong arm wrapping around him from behind when he passes by Zhang Yixing's chambers on his way to the Empress Dowager's, the sharp, cold edge of a dagger pressed against his throat. 

"I would not move, if I were you." A low voice speaks up right next to his ear, and Kai looks down to see a set of slim fingers digging into his right shoulder, applying enough pressure to make him wince. "Reveal yourself. What are you doing here, snooping around the palace grounds?" 

Despite being trapped, Kai chuckles incredulously. This guard – whoever it is – should have slashed his throat the moment he had an opening. Kai carefully reaches into the pocket of his pants, wrapping his own fingers around his dagger. "Are you sure you should be indulging me in small talk instead of killing me? I'm surprised that the palace guards should be so... lax." 

A soft laugh, and the grip around him loosens. "I do not enjoy spilling blood if I could help it. And, judging by the practiced ease with which you are weaving through the palace grounds, you seem to have been here many times. I do not see you as a potential threat to the Emperor or his Consorts. Now will you tell me your intentions?" The guard says, and Kai finds himself surprised yet again. 

And when he turns around to regard the palace guard, his eyes widen in recognition. Even though it's been years since he's last seen the man standing before him, Kai doesn't think he'll ever forget the cherubic face and cheeky smile which had provided him companionship for years back in Luoyang. "Baekhyun?" He asks aloud, the disbelief clear in his intonation. 

Byun Baekhyun, the very person who'd practiced martial arts with Kim Jongin in Luoyang when Luhan would not indulge him. The boy who had been very eager to learn new skills from Jongin, even though Jongin is years younger than him but more skillful, and would laugh even though he'd just been slammed onto the dusty ground by Jongin. 

Clearly, Baekhyun manages to recognise him through the quality of his voice, because his mouth goes slack. "Kim Jongin? What are you doing here, infiltrating the palace? Are you _insane_?" Then, something clicks in his mind, and he narrows his eyes at him. "You have been guarding Consort Lu in silence all these years, haven't you? Is that why His Highness had rejected the need for a personal guard?" 

Kai laughs, feeling breathless. "You are as sharp-witted as I remember you to be."

"Of course," Baekhyun almost preens at the compliment, but catches himself just in time. "But again, what are you doing here? You are lucky you ran into me, or you'd be killed on sight. The security has been buffered around the palace."

"Because of the Empress Dowager's ill-health?" Kai hedges, and the mild widening of Baekhyun's eyes tells Kai that he's hit the nail on its head. "I came here precisely because of that, under His Highness' orders. His Highness thinks that the renegades will launch an attack once the Empress Dowager succumbs to her illness. I am under his request to find out just how long she has left before she passes on, so that we can have an estimate on when to act."

Kai doesn't know why he's divulging their plans to Baekhyun, especially when he doesn't even know which side Baekhyun is on, but he trusts in Baekhyun enough to hope that he's on the Emperor's side. He seems close enough to Zhang Yixing, on top of his previous role as a member of Wu Yifan's Secret Guard. The Emperor's Secret Guard consists of several men that he puts his implicit trust in, after all. 

"She is dangerously ill. I heard that she might not be able to live past the next three days." Baekhyun tells him, seemingly troubled by the thought after Kai tells him of the potential attempt on the Emperor's life. "What is Consort Lu planning?" 

Kai pulls down the mask covering his face, and smiles wryly at Baekhyun. "Unfortunately, His Highness is still keeping his plans to himself for this moment. I cannot divulge what I have no knowledge of." 

It's enough to make Baekhyun nod in understanding though. "I would advice against your infiltration of the Empress Dowager's chambers, if that is where you are headed. The Emperor has stationed half of his Secret Guards in the area, and you and I both know how dangerous they are." 

Kai remembers the time he'd been discovered by Han Geng and Sungmin while he was tailing after Wu Yifan on the streets of Chang'an, and had engaged them in a brief battle. He hadn't told Luhan of his close shave with death, knowing that Luhan would be extremely worried about him, but it's an experience he would rather not relive if he could. 

"Can I take your word about the Empress Dowager's health, then?" Kai asks; eight years is a very long time, and people can change drastically. 

Baekhyun smiles sincerely at him, and he's momentarily transported back to the time when they were still young, grabbing hold of each other's arms when the other would fall to the ground in a graceless heap of limbs. "I swear it upon my soul. Whatever Consort Lu is planning on doing – Godspeed."


	39. Chapter 39

Yixing inhales deeply and exhales as he pushes himself to sit up on the bed, the fatigue sitting bone-deep and making him ache all over. His arms almost feel too heavy even as he brings them to straighten his robes, his joints protesting as if he were eighty and not twenty four, before scrubbing his face down in hopes that it could wipe away the last traces of exhaustion which has made its presence known on his features.

When he opens his eyes next, he's met with several concerned gazes being thrown in his direction, and Yixing chews on his bottom lip, muttering a silent apology for what he's about to say to those in the room with him. "Alert not the Emperor about this, or I will have to punish you severely. All of you."

It's not in Yixing's character to pull ranks on others, but he no longer has a choice. Not for now, anyway. Yifan absolutely must not know about his fainting episode today, or he wouldn't be able to focus on governing the nation. The way they concede to his orders without a single word of protest makes his insides twist. 

"Pardon me for my insolence, Your Highness–" his guard, Baekhyun speaks up once the servants and the Royal Healer have left the room, and Yixing turns his weary gaze upon the man. "–but would it not be a better idea to let the Emperor know of your condition? He will be upset if he finds out you have been hiding this from him."

Yixing squeezes his eyes shut and leans against the wooden beam of his bed, making sure to keep his breathing even. He can still see the massive bloodstains, left on the floor after a severe bout of coughing on his part, burned into the back of his eyelids even after his servants have cleaned the mess up. _Your condition is getting worse from the lack of rest, Your Highness,_ the Royal Healer had told him, and Yixing would be damned if he doesn't know that his body is on the verge of shutting down, if he continues to push himself to his limits day after day. And here Yixing had thought the condition of his lungs has been turning for the better after that last fainting spell he had several months ago, the day when he had given his all to Yifan. 

He'd thought wrong, evidently. 

"Then I will be the one to bear the brunt of his wrath, all on my own." Yixing almost wheezes, feeling his chest tighten once again. _Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out._ He keeps telling himself that until the impending coughing spell dissipates, and Yixing heaves a sigh of relief. Baekhyun's worried gaze is still pinned on him, and Yixing's half-worried that Baekhyun might actually knock him out and proceed to disobey Yixing's orders to stay silent on the matter. Baekhyun's loyalties lie first and foremost with Yifan, after all. "I cannot possibly burden the Emperor even more with my health condition, when he already has so many things to worry about. This is my body, and I will deal with it until I can no longer cope." 

Yixing thinks about the disgruntled citizens of their nation, anger made worse by the protracted drought and worsening famine owing to the slow flow of aid, and the way the ministers are actively going against Yifan on the Court, and the Empress Dowager's worsening health, and he swallows, the worry thick and sticky in the parched column of his throat. His health seems insignificant as compared to the rest of the problems Yifan's facing at the moment, and Yixing rather feels sorry that he can't be of enough help to Yifan at times like these.

Luhan would have fallen into the role of the perfect supporter for Yifan, if he were still here in the Forbidden City. Yixing's insides twist again, this time yearning for Luhan to be around. He would know what needs to be done. At the very least, Luhan could lift the burden from Yifan's sagging shoulders. He wishes he were healthier, and not bogged down by an illness that strikes at the most inopportune of moments.

His parents would be ever so displeased if they found out he's been neglecting his health for the sake of official matters; they've always maintained that a good health far surpasses wealth in terms of importance. 

"You are stubborn, just like Jongdae had said you were." Baekhyun scrunches his nose, reverting to informal speech as Yixing had told him to when Baekhyun had first been assigned to guard him, but wastes no time in bringing the warm bowl of medication for Yixing when a servant carries it into Yixing's room on a tray. 

Yixing can only offer a tired smile and accepts the bowl gratefully, before grimacing at the smell. He's never liked taking medications, considering the fact that it makes him feel a lot more ill than he probably is, but knows that his health would deteriorate further if he doesn't. So he downs the bowl's contents in one large gulp, and is met with Baekhyun's satisfied smile when he glances up again.

"Being stubborn has its merits," Yixing tells Baekhyun, even as his eyes slowly droop to a close. "At least, I will make sure that I survive until this ordeal is over."

In his haze of sleep, Yixing thinks that he can hear Baekhyun say, "That, I do not doubt. Sleep well, Your Highness."

And Yixing smiles again, allowing the sandman to drag him down into the depths of unconsciousness.

 

\--

 

The next three days pass by in an agonisingly slow manner, and Luhan's insides are so completely twisted from nervousness that it actually feels nauseating. It's a huge bet, he knows, to believe in the words of a guard in the palace about the Empress Dowager's condition – even if said guard is Jongin's childhood friend and a member of Yifan's Secret Guard. He knows the selection process Yifan's Secret Guards would have to go through before they could make the cut, a series of gruelling challenges that push them to their physical and mental limits, and has no doubt that they'd pledge their complete loyalty to Yifan and will not betray him no matter what, but still.

The window period for them to act is much too unpredictable, when the Empress Dowager's condition could improve drastically or deteriorate rapidly within the span of minutes to hours, and any mistake or delay in taking action could lead to Luhan losing Yifan for good. He squeezes his eyes shut and swallows, willing the negative thoughts away. He has to stay positive, _has_ to believe that they will manage to pull this off. 

"Is there any news from the palace?" Luhan asks the moment he hears Jongin entering the room, though his gaze remains transfixed on the garden outside his chambers. Summer is fast fading into Autumn, and the weather is gradually turning a lot colder than it has been in years. Perhaps he's much too used to living in the Forbidden City to know what it's like living out of it, but he doesn't allow himself to dwell upon it. A part of his mind, though, inevitably proceeds to wonder how Yixing is holding up, and if his coughing spells are back to haunt him. It had been one of the coldest days of Spring when Yixing had fallen ill for the first time, after all, and Luhan doesn't doubt that his lung condition is triggered by the cooling weather. 

"Unfortunately no, Master." Jongin tells him regretfully, and Luhan forces himself to relax just a little. They have a bit more time to make the necessary preparations, then. "But Baekhyun has promised to send a messenger dove the moment the Empress Dowager's health takes a nosedive."

His memories of Byun Baekhyun are fuzzy at best, but Luhan remembers him to be a cheerful and dependable kid from the few times he's seen Baekhyun lurking around the backyard of his mansion back in Luoyang. He hopes that they can trust him even now. The itch to see Yifan again grows impossibly strong to resist, but Luhan forces himself to stand his ground. It will not do for him to act hastily, or they might alert the enemy of their plans. 

"Master," Jongin speaks up again when Luhan stays silent. "May I know what you are possibly plotting? I do not think it is fair for you to keep me in the dark, when you tell me that I play a pivotal role in the grand scheme of things."

Luhan sighs at Jongin's statement; he's been trying to stall from speaking about the matter for as long as he possibly could, but of course Jongin's patience would run thin first. "If I am reading Yifan's mind correctly, he is planning to let the renegades think that he is incapable of fighting back, and will allow them to attack him, before his Secret Guards smuggle him out of the palace grounds where he can plot a greater retaliation on his part without being restricted." Luhan tells him. "This is where we come in."

Yifan has always been quite the meticulous planner, especially in times of war where he's won several skirmishes with the least possible amount of damage dealt to his troops, and Luhan has no doubt that he'll opt for such a route this time. There are always watchful eyes in the Forbidden City, and anyone could turn their backs on the Emperor when given the promise of money and greater power. It is just how the Forbidden City is, permanently enshrouded in darkness, and it's also why Yifan prefers keeping only a handful of people close to him – people whom he can trust implicitly, ones who do not possess an agenda which could be used against Yifan in the long run.

Luhan remembers the detailed report of the movement of the troops given to him by Jung Yunho a couple of days ago. He doesn't doubt that Yifan has already made his move, requesting for the army to congregate near Chang'an yet not close enough to raise suspicions of those living within the city and the palace. Two of his Secret Guards, Sungmin and Han Geng, hold enough influence on the troops, owing to their family background and relationship to the Generals of these troops. But Yifan cannot possibly order for the troops to attack the palace when he doesn't have solid evidence that his ministers are planning to force him out of the Dragon Throne until they strike, for these ministers would definitely use Yifan's distrust against him in the future.

Things would definitely turn a great deal messier, if they boil down to that stage. 

"What do you mean?" Jongin asks again. 

This time, Luhan finally turns to regard Jongin, hoping that he can see the seriousness in his gaze. "We will have to force our way into the palace the moment the Empress Dowager breathes her last, and get Yifan out no matter what. _Alive_." 

 

\--

 

There isn't a day Song Qian would spend without feeling remotely guilty about what she's done, her thoughts filled with the fact that she was the one who had given the Empress Dowager the poisoned pouch, that she's had a hand in Wu Zilin's rapidly deteriorating health.

By now, the Imperial Healer has ruled the Empress Dowager's condition virtually incurable, still thinking that she is suffering from a severe form of bronchitis, and all medications served to the Empress Dowager are aimed to keep her comfortable and not to treat. No one has thought about the possibility that the Empress Dowager has been poisoned – doesn't even suspect it, considering the fact that the poison leaves behind absolutely no trace of it being present in the human body, apart from triggering an illness that baffles even the greatest of healers, unless these healers have extensive knowledge about the poisons available in the world. Her father had thought long and hard about this, Song Qian realises with a sickening punch to her gut, and had planned on removing the Empress Dowager from the picture from the very beginning. 

It makes keeping the secret to herself all the more excruciating, but Song Qian cannot possibly oust her father in the open. If he could display such levels of cruelty without hesitation, then he might not hold himself back from harming his own daughter, either. 

Song Qian shudders from fear when she tries to imagine what her father would do, should he discover that Song Qian had sent a scroll to Yifan, alerting him of the fact that the Empress Dowager's illness is not as simple as it seems. It's the least she could do to warn Yifan in silence, considering the fact that Huang Zitao is always lingering around Yifan's side. She has seen Huang Zitao leaving the Empress Dowager's living quarters several times by now, and suspects that he's had a hand in removing Luhan from the palace. The way Huang Zitao would always look at Yifan with admiration – and possibly, _love_ – doesn't escape Song Qian's eyes. 

This day, though, Song Qian finally overcomes the tall hurdle of her guilt to pay the Empress Dowager a visit. She's heard the quiet gossip amongst the palace maids that the Empress Dowager is nearing the tail end of her life, hacking and coughing away on most hours of the day, slowly suffocating to death from the way her airways are failing her. Song Qian empties her stomach contents right before leaving her chambers, the remorse making her feel incredibly sick deep within. 

She forces herself to wear a small smile to hide her guilt when she finally steps into the Empress Dowager's chambers, only to be surprised when she finds Yifan already seated by the table, his gaze attentive as he watches his mother's most faithful servant wiping her face clean with a towel. The contents of the basin by the Empress Dowager's bed is stained red, and Song Qian's stomach churns again. 

This is all her fault. 

Yifan's smile is tired when he turns to look at her. "You're here to visit?" He asks, voice cracking around its edges, and Song Qian can only numbly nod along in confirmation. Just a couple weeks ago, Yifan could still be seen arguing with his mother behind closed doors, over minor disagreements with the way he's running the nation or answering his ministers brusquely, and Song Qian would be able to see the frustration on his features whenever he would leave the Empress Dowager's living quarters angrily. Right now, though, there's nothing but resignation on his face and worry in his eyes. Of course, deep down, who could completely hate their own parents?

"How is she?" Song Qian barely manages as she stiffly takes a seat by Yifan's side, and both their gazes are trained upon the Empress Dowager's supine form on the bed once again. Wu Zilin doesn't seem to have realised that Song Qian had arrived to visit, doesn't even appear to have acknowledged Yifan at all, and she looks so gaunt, having been roughed up by her illness, that she's almost all skin and bones and appears to have aged at least ten years in the span of a few weeks.

"Not good." Yifan sighs, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing at the bridge of his nose to dispel the tension. Song Qian is half-tempted to rub soothing circles into his temples on his behalf, but holds herself back, not knowing if Yifan would have welcomed such an intimate gesture. "Her health is deteriorating by the minute, and she can no longer recognise any of us. It would be a miracle, if we could rouse her from her sleep and coax her to eat." 

That's when Song Qian notices the scented pouch by the Empress Dowager's pillow, and her throat clamps up on its own accord. "That pouch..." She stutters, "perhaps we should remove it. It's supposed to help her sleep, but maybe the scent is much too strong for her current condition."

If Yifan had guessed that Song Qian was the one who'd sent the parchment claiming that the Empress Dowager was poisoned, he doesn't show it. Instead, Yifan heaves a burdened sigh. "Believe me, we have tried. She refuses to relinquish her hold on the pouch even in her delirious state." 

"But–" _The amount of poison contained within is going to kill her even faster, if she continues to inhale it,_ Song Qian wants to say, but cowardice overwhelms her at the very last minute, rendering her silent in the end. It would seem suspicious, if Song Qian were to suggest that the scented pouch might be imbued with a poisonous plant's essence, because no one else knows that Song Qian was the one who'd gifted it to the Empress Dowager, apart from the Empress Dowager herself. Song Qian essentially should not have seen it prior to this, either, and suddenly she feels extremely tied down.

Why is it so difficult for her to own up to her mistakes, she wonders as she clutches her stomach, where a baby bump is already beginning to form. Her child _would_ hate her, if it knew how terrible of a person she actually is. 

_Forgive me for being selfish, for wanting to keep us both safe._

"But what, Qian?" Yifan prompts again, and Song Qian's heart constricts at the tender manner he'd said her name. It has been a long while since Yifan had called her by her birth name, and she secretly yearns for him to do it more often. 

Then again, Yifan is expecting an answer for her unfinished sentence, and Song Qian opts to shake her head instead, knowing that her own voice will fail her if she should attempt to divulge the enormous secret she's holding close to her heart. "It's nothing." She says, quietly, praying hard that her voice doesn't crack from the guilt. 

It doesn't, thankfully, and Yifan flashes her another tight smile before turning his gaze upon the scrolls which have been laid open on the Empress Dowager's table. It's only then that Song Qian realises with a start, that Yifan has converted his mother's chambers into his temporary study, so that he could be here by her side for as long as he possibly can. If only the Empress Dowager could see Yifan now, then she would know of the amount of respect Yifan still holds for her, despite all the disagreements they have had in the past. 

_Do you not resent your mother for forcing your hand in chasing Luhan out of the castle?_ Song Qian wants to ask, but holds herself back in the nick of time when she catches sight of the sight tremble in Yifan's hand as he wraps his fingers around his favourite writing brush, and the beginnings of tear drops collected in the corner of his eyes.

He's barely even holding himself together to convince the rest of the palace denizens that he's fine, she realises, and Song Qian wishes he could trust in her just a little more and confide his troubles to her. 

It's too much to ask of him right now, when Yifan is emotionally at his most fragile, and Song Qian can easily think of three other people who could coax him into pouring his emotions out a lot more easily than Song Qian could ever hope to do – Luhan, Yixing, and Junmyeon. He would likely push her away if she ever mustered up the courage to make the suggestion, anyway. 

The ruler of a nation should never display his weaknesses to anyone else; Yifan's holding steadfastly to that principle, Song Qian knows, and it's with such thoughts that Song Qian quietly takes her leave from the Empress Dowager's chambers. Her heart constricts again at the fact that Yifan had barely even acknowledged her, his attention never wavering from the scroll he's currently working on. 

Song Qian lowers her head, and walks away.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how I managed to write so much for a single chapter, but I did, orz. Just want to let you guys know that the projected amount of chapters for this fic will be around 42-43, so yeah, it's probably going to end reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal soon. In the mean time, enjoy!

A storm is lashing down harshly on the rooftop of the Forbidden City on a cold, cold night of autumn when the Empress Dowager finally succumbs to her ill health, having spent the last few hours choking on her breath and coughing up an unimaginable amount of blood from her lungs. Anyone who had witnessed the sight would have agreed that it was much too gruesome to watch, and many a maid were carted away from the Empress Dowager's chambers by the guards, having fainted at the mere sight of blood.

Yifan was there when the Imperial Healer had pronounced his mother dead, but he had been too numbed by everything else happening around him to even bat an eyelash, let alone openly mourn for his mother's death. All he remembers is the paleness of his mother's features, complexion white as a sheet of newly starched parchment from the blood loss, and the gauntness of her cheeks, having lost a significant amount of weight from her poor appetite in the time leading up to her demise. 

In fact, Yifan had sat on the stool and stared blankly at his mother's lifeless body for hours on end, his servants standing all around him awkwardly, too afraid to move a muscle without explicit orders from him. It hadn't been until Junmyeon had heard of the news from word of mouth and had made his way to the Empress Dowager's chambers, putting a warm hand on Yifan's stunned form and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze, that Yifan had snapped back to reality at all. 

Even then, Yifan had very numbly announced for his mother's funeral to be held the first thing in the morning, and had ordered his Royal Messenger to make a nationwide announcement about the Empress Dowager's demise, before retreating to his own chambers, ignoring his panicked servants who had chased after him and pleaded with him to put on some warmer clothes when he's out in the open, that the weather is much too harsh for him to be walking around in only his royal robes. Nothing really seems to matter anymore, and it's with such thoughts that Yifan finds himself seated on the floor cushions in his sleeping chambers once again, his lifeless gaze transfixed on the bare table top before him. 

Hours must have passed him by before Yifan snaps out of his trance-like state. The bath his servants have drawn for him must have gone cold by now, but Yifan doesn't really care, dragging his feet across the room and stripping down on his way to the bathing area, before dipping his body into the now-cool water. A violent shiver wracks through his body, followed by the chattering of his teeth, though Yifan's mind is much too preoccupied with other thoughts to even bother getting out of the tub. The cold water clears his mind somewhat, when he's trying to think about his next course of action, and what the renegades would do should they hear about the Empress Dowager's death. 

The most logical course of action is for them to strike right before the Empress Dowager's funeral procession, should they intend to silence him once and for all. Yifan did, after all, conceal the truth of the Empress Dowager's rapidly deteriorating health even from his ministers, walking into Court morning after morning to run their daily proceedings, pretending that everything was fine. He wouldn't be surprised if these ministers would be outraged by the sudden announcement of his mother's death – and, if they had found out about the Empress Dowager's poor state of health before this, would probably pretend not to have known because they simply are _that_ cunning – even less so if they think that Yifan somehow had a hand in causing her death. It's public knowledge amongst his ministers that Yifan didn't see eye to eye with the Empress Dowager on most issues, especially with regards to his choice of consorts, and they'd possibly come up with a million and one theories to tie him down to murder. 

"Your Majesty," a voice calls out from the reverse side of the partition, and instantly Yifan recognises the voice to belong to Baekhyun's. Yifan frowns a little; why should Baekhyun be here, when he's supposed to be guarding Yixing at his quarters? "I apologise for the sudden intrusion, but Consort Zhang had heard of the sad news related to the Empress Dowager, and has sent me in his stead to check on you."

Yifan straightens himself in the tub in attention, and the water sloshes onto the floorboards from the sudden movement. "Yixing?" He asks, calling the name out of habit, but he's sure Baekhyun knows of this, regardless. He's been serving Yifan for a long while to know that Yifan would never call his Consorts by their official title when in private, even when speaking to his closest subordinates. "Has something happened to him, that he could not come on his own?"

The mere thought of it sends Yifan into a state of panic, when he remembers that Yixing had been suffering from a lung illness several months ago, leading him to suffer from a fainting episode. He's lost Luhan, lost his mother, and he can't afford to lose Yixing as well. 

"No, Your Majesty, His Highness is fine." Baekhyun is quick to reassure him, but his words are measured, careful, almost as though he's hiding something from Yifan. Yifan reaches up to wipe his face down with the cold water to rid himself of those thoughts, though; he's getting much too sensitive about everything around him right now. "The weather is much too harsh for him to make his journey in person at the moment, and he sends you his regards and regrets for not being able to attend to you at your time of need. This humble servant had been insolent enough to insist that Consort Zhang should stay indoors."

Yifan looks out of his window, where the rain is still lashing mercilessly against the palace structure, the wind blowing harshly through the tiny cracks in the wooden beams, eliciting a shrill cry that fills the night, and forces himself to relax the rest of the way. He's thinking too much. At least Baekhyun knows Yifan well enough to know that he'd be upset if Baekhyun ever allowed Yixing to walk outside in this kind of weather. "Please let him know not to worry about me. I am fine." Then, almost as an afterthought, "Please tell him to remain vigilant, and to prepare himself to leave at a split second's notice."

If Baekhyun had found his orders weird, he doesn't comment. Instead, Baekhyun acquiesces easily, and bids Yifan a good night, before leaving Yifan alone to his thoughts once again.

 

\--

 

_Tomorrow. They might strike before the Empress Dowager's funeral. I cannot tell when._

 

\--

 

Chaos descends upon the Forbidden City on the morning of the Empress Dowager's funeral, just as they had predicted it would. 

Yifan's on his way to the procession hall, surrounded by his maids and a lone guard, Zitao, when masked assassins swoop into the hallway with their swords drawn, and immediately began slashing at everyone who's in the way. For the betrayal he'd committed when Zitao had exposed Luhan's identity to the Empress Dowager, at least he's still quick to act when Yifan's life is in imminent danger, drawing his sword and parrying an assassin's attack with a harsh clang of metal against metal that shatters the tranquility of the morning. 

Thankfully, Yifan had stepped out of his chambers fully prepared, and he draws his own short sword which had been hidden from view, fighting against these masked assassins to the best of his ability. It has admittedly been a long while since Yifan has had to wield a weapon, trusting his guards to protect him instead, but at this moment, he doesn't have a choice. It's a good thing he still remembers the skills Han Geng had taught him in secret, when Yifan was much younger and had been the Crown Prince instead of the Emperor, and he holds the element of surprise when faced up against these assassins. No one in the palace, save for Zitao and his Secret Guards, know that Yifan is skilled in swordsmanship after all. 

"Your Majesty!" Zitao yells, his voice strained from trying to fend off two of the assassins who have decided to gang up on him, probably trying to eliminate Yifan's guard in order to render Yifan defenceless. "Please, make your way to safety! I will hold them back here!" As if proving his words, Zitao sends a flying kick at one of the assassins who's pressing him back, knocking him out with a heavy blow to his neck, then rushes to Yifan's side and helps him get away from another assassin who's on the verge of overwhelming Yifan. There's only so much Yifan can do, when he's never tested his skills in a real fight before, and it's almost by a miracle that he could stave off several trained killers on his own before Zitao had managed to come to his aid. 

So Yifan takes Zitao's advice and makes a run for it, actively seeking for a place to hide himself in the mean time. He'd made the grave mistake of sending both Sungmin and Han Geng off to personally warn the rest of his army of the impending attack, because one could never predict if someone would intercept the messenger doves sent from the palace, and they have not returned in time from their mission, leaving Yifan almost unguarded. There's Baekhyun, of course, but Yifan had ordered for Baekhyun to keep watch over Yixing in his chambers, and refused to let Yixing attend the Empress Dowager's funeral for fear that his life would be in danger. He does not regret that decision, though, not one bit. He'd rather keep Yixing safe for as long as he can. At least Yixing wouldn't witness Yifan's death–

His thoughts are interrupted when he turns around a corner and finds himself faced with another group of assassins, causing Yifan to come to a halting stop. But instead of charging at him immediately, the leader of the group strides leisurely towards Yifan not caring that Yifan's holding a sword by his side. He can imagine the masked person smirking when he says, "Give it up, Emperor. There is nowhere else for you to run, nowhere for you to hide. Why don't you let us end you without kicking up such a big fuss?" 

Despite the perilous situation he's in right now, the assassin's request startles an incredulous laugh out of Yifan, unable to believe what he's hearing. "Give up? You do know that you are talking to the ruler of a nation, do you not? To ask me to give up on my life is akin to telling me to surrender my nation willingly, and that is one thing I will _never_ do." Yifan says, wielding his sword and preparing himself to go on the offense. As the Emperor of China, Yifan would never surrender to these renegades, knowing that he has a responsibility to protect his country and its citizens. He's not a coward; he's not afraid of death. He's only worried that the country will fall into the wrong hands, and for the sake of preventing that from happening, he will fight till the very end to defend himself and his nation. At the very least, even if he dies, he's done his best. 

"Then _die_!" The leader of the new group of assassins barks, and charges at Yifan with their weapons drawn. Yifan meets them in the middle, valiantly parrying their attacks with swift moves to match their punishing pace. It's not an easy feat, considering the fact that he's grossly outnumbered and lacking in actual combat experience, but still Yifan _tries_. Cold sweat is beginning to coat the surface of his skin, his muscles aching and searing from exertion, and the biting wind that sweeps through the corridors isn't doing anything to help the burn. 

Yifan manages to bring down one of the assassins with a heavily landed kick on his chest, though when he turns around to parry the oncoming attack from another, someone else sweeps at Yifan's feet and makes him lose his balance, causing Yifan to land painfully on his back. This time, the leader of the group of assassins no longer provides him the opportunity to get back on his feet, and swings his sword down at Yifan who's still gasping for air. 

Knowing there's no way he could survive this blow, Yifan squeezes his eyes shut and raises his head pridefully, fully prepared to lose his life. 

Except, the sharp pain Yifan had expected doesn't come. What _does_ invade his senses, though, is a jarring clang of metal that happens right above his head. He reflexively opens his eyes, only to find two swords intercrossed before him, and when Yifan turns around to see who had saved him from his death, he sees another masked man standing behind him, eyes narrowed angrily at the group of assassins. 

And Yifan's heart momentarily stops beating, because he can recognise that pair of eyes from anywhere. _Luhan_.

"Do you not think it is despicable to kill a man when he is so thoroughly outnumbered?" The newcomer sneers, and the quality of the voice only serves to confirm Yifan's suspicions. It's the exact same intonation Luhan had employed to mock Yifan all those years ago for his terrible handwriting, when Luhan hadn't yet known that Yifan was the Crown Prince and hadn't fallen in love with Yifan. 

"Who are you to interrupt?" The leader of the assassins seethes, applying even more pressure on his sword in hopes that he could make Luhan's weapon budge, but Luhan holds on steadfastly to his own sword, fighting back with equal intensity. 

"Your worst nightmare," is Luhan's simple retort, before he swings his sword arm upwards, pushing the assassin's weapon out of harm's way. Yifan could only stare in wonder as he watches Luhan fight back against the group of assassins, each move of his precise and well-trained and _graceful_ , like a swallow slicing through the air in its flight, and it's something which Yifan had never known that Luhan was capable of. 

It's then that Yifan remembers something Yixing had told him, all those weeks ago when Luhan had just left the palace. _Han gege is a lot more capable at protecting himself than he really lets on._ Did Yixing know of this? 

Luhan doesn't hold back in the slightest with his attacks, each swing of his sword determined, and the group of assassins actually gets pushed back by Luhan's abilities at handling the fight. Soon enough, half of the assassins are on the floor, incapacitated by multiple gashes over their bodies but not quite dead, and the leader of the group actually steps back when Luhan approaches him with his sword raised. "I would suggest you not to act brashly." Luhan says, and the man actually listens to him, unmoving even as Luhan backtracks his own steps to get closer to Yifan. 

And Yifan pretends not to know of Luhan's identity when Luhan grabs hold of his hand and pulls him to stand, squeezing lightly enough to let Luhan know that he _knows_ it's him. Luhan doesn't turn to look at Yifan, though, only holding on tighter as he tells the assassin, "Follow after us, and I will not hesitate to end you."

When Luhan's sure that the assassin will heed his words, he pulls Yifan along with him and _runs_.

It's only when they're out of earshot and not being chased down that Yifan gasps. "Yixing–" 

There's hurt in Luhan's eyes when he snaps around to look at Yifan, but his voice doesn't waver when he tells Yifan, "Someone has been sent to retrieve him. We have no time. Come, before they manage to regroup and catch up to us." 

 

\--

 

Song Lin raises his head pridefully as he regards his fellow ministers from his perch on the Dragon Throne, feeling a lot more influential than he had initially anticipated. Many a minister seems somewhat confused to see him standing on the podium where only the Emperor would sit upon, but those who have been actively involved in the discussions with him to oust the Emperor appear to be particularly calm. Smug, even, but Song Lin isn't going to call them out on it. Beside him, his daughter is fidgeting way too much, unable to bring her gaze to meet the crowd in the room with them; he will have to speak to her in private, later. 

Even though he'd been outraged when the assassins he had sent after Wu Yifan had informed him that someone had managed to save Wu Yifan before they could lay their hands on him, all of that no longer matters, as long as the Emperor is nowhere to be found within the Forbidden City. He'd sent a brand new group of assassins to scour the city of Chang'an, confident that Wu Yifan hadn't gone far with whoever it was who'd saved him, and had ordered for the immediate disposal of Wu Yifan the moment they spot him on the streets. 

Right now, though, he has an important announcement to make. 

"I am sure that you are all equally as outraged as I am to hear of Her Highness the Empress Dowager's sudden death," he starts, voice booming through the Grand Hall, and murmurs of agreement follow. "Emperor Wu Yifan has left us all deceived, tightly concealing the truth about the Empress Dowager's state of health time and again, allowing none of the servants to speak of Her Highness' illness. And we all know that Emperor Wu has always been at odds with the Empress Dowager, for Her Highness had always actively gone against his decisions in public. As such, he remains the major suspect responsible for the Empress Dowager's death, driven by resentment for her repeated interference, and I have received news that he has run away upon having his plans revealed. I hereby declare that Emperor Wu has been ousted from his status as the ruler of China, and I will take over his responsibilities in his stead as the new Emperor of China, until the traitor has been found and brought to the face of justice." 

He ignores the horrified expressions on Song Qian's face at his announcement, and basks instead in the moment, when one of his loyalists leads the room to the chants of wishing Song Lin well, welcoming him as the brand new Emperor of the nation. 

Song Lin has never felt more powerful than this. 

 

\--

 

It's a bit surreal, to still be breathing when he had just gone through such a harrowing experience and had nearly been assassinated in a place he'd thought he could call home, but Yifan is thankful all the same. The heavy, golden robes that signify his status as the Emperor have been left behind in the Forbidden City, when Luhan had taken him on a short detour back to Yifan's chambers and had requested for Yifan to change into commoner's clothing. At the very least, it's easier to sneak around when he blends in with the regular crowd, and they both lower their heads as they wade through the streets like everyone else, pretending as though they're keeping their face protected from the biting wind, when in fact they're trying to avoid detection by the assassins which might have been sent to come after them. 

Yifan finds himself looking around his new dwelling, impressed that Luhan has managed to keep this mansion of his out of Yifan's knowledge, but perhaps it's a good thing, after all. They could hide here and come up with a brand new plan, without anyone actively trying to kill Yifan yet again. Luhan doesn't think that anyone else had managed to chase after them, though – they'd be smart enough not to, after seeing what Luhan is capable of – and had asked Yifan to rest easy for the time being. 

He's shaken out of his thoughts when the doors to his new room opens up, revealing Luhan in the doorway, and Yifan will be damned if he doesn't miss this, seeing Luhan's soft smile being directed at him. He's on his feet at once, crossing the room in several long strides, before pulling Luhan into his embrace, burying his nose in Luhan's soft locks. _God_ , Yifan has missed this so, _so_ much, and Luhan fits against him like a perfect puzzle piece. 

"I'm sorry," Yifan breathes as he presses a soft kiss to Luhan's hair, not caring if Luhan might actually push him away. He rather wishes he won't, though. "I'm really, really sorry for being stupid. For having to resort to such extreme actions. For not trusting in you more. I did not mean the words I said to you, on the day you left. I never did believe that you would even think of harming me in any possible way, when all you have done is to love me. You have sacrificed so, so much for my sake, and I was stupid not to have seen that." 

His heart leaps in joy when Luhan wraps his arms around his waist, fingers digging into the soft fabric of Yifan's robes. It's a sure sign that Luhan has forgiven him, even though Yifan shouldn't have been pardoned this easily. "And I'm sorry for having hidden such a great secret from you. There is not a moment I do not regret for having lied to you." Luhan croaks brokenly, and Yifan only realises that Luhan's _crying_ when dampness spreads on the front of his robes, where Luhan's face is pressed into his left shoulder. "I was so afraid of losing you to those assassins. I'm sorry I was late." 

Yifan pulls away and smiles softly at Luhan. "You saved me, and that is all that matters." He says, cupping Luhan's face and pressing a deep kiss to his lips. He's only glad that Luhan has forgiven him for all his wrongdoings, when Luhan grips the front of his robes and deepens the kiss further, kicking the doors shut behind him. 

Luhan is a lot more aggressive than Yifan remembers him to be, when he finds Luhan steering both of them to Yifan's bed, and delighted laughter escapes both their throats when the back of Yifan's knees knock against the bed, causing Yifan to lose his balance and Luhan to fall on top of Yifan. Luhan's cheeks are flushed a pretty shade of red when Yifan opens his eyes again, and he reaches up to brush away the stray strands of Luhan's hair which have managed to escape their restraints. 

Yifan's never been happier to feel Luhan's heart beating in sync with his against his chest, and Yifan wraps his arms around Luhan's waist to keep him there. They exchange several languid kisses more, having a taste of each other to remind themselves of everything they've missed, before Luhan adjusts his position to lie on Yifan's side, his head pillowed by Yifan's chest and listening to his steady heartbeat beneath his cheek.

"We can take things slowly." Luhan murmurs, drawing idle circles on Yifan's robes with a contented smile on his face. "I know how you must feel, having just lost your mother. What we have is time." 

The corner of Yifan's lips tremble a little at the mention of his mother. "I can only hope they have given her a proper burial, even without me around. She deserves that much." It's a shame he could not send her off on her final journey, but she would understand his circumstances if she knew. "Do you..." Yifan starts again when the silence settles between them. "Do you not resent me, for what I have done to you? Banishing you from the Forbidden City."

"I would be lying if I said I didn't." Luhan replies, his voice a warm rumble against Yifan's chest, and Yifan subconsciously tightens his hold. It's been a long while since they have been able to cuddle like this, and having had a close shave with death, Yifan cherishes these little moments more than ever. "But... I soon realised that there isn't a way I could have remained angry at you. You did what you could to save me from being executed by the Empress Dowager. In fact, I found myself wishing that you would not hate me for lying to you."

Yifan shakes his head and presses another tender kiss to Luhan's hair, inhaling the scent of _molihua_ that defines Luhan for him. Some things will never change. "I was hurt by the thought that you hid something so important from me, but like you, I could not remain angry for long. I have missed you every single day that you were gone, and I could not even rest well, could not even _think_ , without knowing if you were doing fine."

Luhan laughs softly, the sound a little sad. Regretful, even. "You must understand that it is not an easy topic to broach," he says, before digging his fingers into Yifan's robes; a gesture of hesitation, where Luhan is concerned. Yifan has learned of all of Luhan's little quirks and habits by now. "To tell you the truth, I had wanted to fulfill my father's wishes, when I had first met you. I knew you were the Crown Prince from the very beginning; my personal guard had told me, the day we met at the academy. I was instructed by my father to find a way to get into the palace, gain your trust, _then_ assassinate you. I have been trained by him to fight like an assassin from a very young age, which is why I am capable of doing what you have seen earlier this mornin." Yifan's stops breathing for a brief moment, but he wills himself to calm down, forcing himself to be patient with Luhan's explanation. It requires great courage to admit such things to someone you love, after all, and Yifan has made enough mistakes because of his impatient nature. He doesn't want history to repeat itself yet again. "But somewhere along the way, I realised that you were impossibly sincere with your words, and your concern for your subjects is something I have always and will always admire. Falling in love with you came naturally after, and that is when I'd realised I could not fulfill my father's hopes. I could not possibly hurt you, let alone take your life with my own hands."

"But your servant–"

"–could have done it in my stead, yes." Luhan easily agrees, glancing up at Yifan and pressing yet another pacifying kiss to the underside of his jaw. "He had wanted to, on multiple accounts, because he knew I would not be able to do it on my own, even if I have promised my late father. I stopped him. Used my authority on him to forbid him from ever laying a hand on you. I am not proud of what I have done, but I had no choice."

"He knows this?" Yifan wonders aloud as he rubs soothing circles into the small of Luhan's back. The contented purr makes his heart leap. 

"Yes, because he loves me." Luhan admits, and Yifan's more than surprised by the revelation. Then again, it isn't difficult to love Luhan. "Which is why I am sorry for having to use my influence on him to hold him back." 

They fall into a wordless, comfortable silence thereafter, just enjoying each other's presence in its simplest form. Yifan only shatters the silence when he's about to be lulled to sleep, whispering a soft "Thank you. For being truthful with me."

The way Luhan squeezes his hand lightly is enough reassurance that he'd heard it. 

 

\--

 

"How could you do this?!" Song Qian almost yells at her father the moment they step into his chambers – _Yifan's_ old chambers, her mind reminds her, and the mere thought of it sickens her to the core – uncaring that there are still servants on their heels. It's a good thing they had sensed an upcoming confrontation between Song Qian and their new Emperor, for they immediately take their leave without being explicitly told to do so. "You _promised_ not to hurt Yifan!"

Her father reels around, his face flushed from anger at her insolence, and barks at her. "I promised _nothing_! Do you not realise that this, my being the Emperor, will not have happened if he were here to call me out on my lies?" 

Song Qian pushes on steadfastly, though, not caring if she would be banished to the underground prison for being disrespectful towards the Emperor. Father or not, Song Qian would not agree to anyone else apart from Yifan to be the Emperor. He has been doing a great job so far, if the ministers hadn't undermined him repeatedly over the years. Song Qian may be the Prime Minister's daughter, but she isn't blind to the obvious bias they have against Yifan because of his young age and perceived lack of experience. "Then you should not have attempted an assassination in the first place! He will have our heads if he finds out!"

"Then I will make sure that he will never find out – by silencing him once and for all! It would be prudent for you to remember that _you_ are a murderer too, for having given the Wu Zilin that scented pouch with your own hands!" Song Lin roars, and suddenly Song Qian is terrified, not for her life but for Yifan's. Yifan has done no wrong, apart from having a power-hungry minister like her father, and she feels utterly embarrassed by their blood relation. "Now get out, before you force me to silence _you_ too!" 

Song Qian doesn't have to be told twice, when she marches out of the Emperor's chambers with her fists balled by her side, but her mind is already hard at work, coming up with a brand new plan to stop her father before he grows even more out of control. 

 

\--

 

"Jongin tells me your lung condition has been bothering you again."

Yixing, who'd been in the middle of doing some reading in his chambers, jumps in surprise at the sound. It's always like this whenever he's too immersed in his books, and would not realise that someone has entered his room until they speak up to gain his attention. For a moment, Yixing's disorientated by the unfamiliar surroundings – it's a vast difference from the room he's grown used to living in at the Forbidden City – before he remembers the chain of events which had led him here. And he smiles when he lifts his gaze, only to find Luhan watching him keenly. Not a hint of animosity could be felt coming from Luhan, and Yixing is eternally grateful for it. 

He's also about to ask _who's Jongin_ , before he recalls the masked person who had entered his chambers earlier that morning, telling Yixing that Consort Lu had sent him. Yixing hadn't believed him at first, remembering Baekhyun's message from Yifan to stay vigilant for potential assassins, but Baekhyun had walked into the room at that exact moment with his sword drawn, only to lower his weapon once again when the masked man removes the piece of cloth concealing his face, recognition flashing across Baekhyun's features. It was a good thing Yixing had made a quick decision to trust in the masked man and Baekhyun, because another group of men – this time true assassins which have been sent to take Yixing's life – had barged into Yixing's chambers just as they'd managed to escape through the back window leading towards the Imperial Garden. It had been a very close shave, and Yixing would rather not relive the experience; he doesn't think his frail body would be able to keep up with such a shocking moment. 

"And how does Jongin know that, when he has not been in the palace of late? I am under the impression that he is your personal guard whom we have never seen in person." Yixing asks, more curiosity than anything else. 

What Luhan has to say, though, definitely isn't anything Yixing had expected to hear. "Jongin and Baekhyun are childhood friends, you know. Yifan would be upset if he finds out. You know how much he cares for you." And Yixing's smile falls. He should have anticipated this when both Baekhyun and Jongin had insisted on piling several thick robes around him before escorting Yixing out of the palace, citing terrible weather conditions and Yixing's predilections to fall ill. Of _course_ Baekhyun would pass the information on to someone who's close to Luhan, knowing that Luhan is the only person capable of intimidating him into listening to good advice.

With a burdened sigh, Yixing snaps his book shut and pushes it aside, before meeting Luhan's gaze steadfastly. In fact, he's a bit surprised at himself for not flinching when Luhan crosses the room and takes a seat beside him. "Then tell me what am I supposed to do, _gege_ , when Yifan is already worrying himself over everything else in the nation? My health is secondary; I can let him know when his responsibilities have been lifted off his shoulders." 

Luhan flashes a wry smile at Yixing. "You're talking as if you have no idea what Yifan is like. For him, everything would be secondary to the wellbeing of those he truly cares about – and in his terms, it would mean you and I."

"I do, but as a ruler of the nation, I do wish he would concentrate on his citizens before me." Yixing sighs, even though he knows he's losing this argument. Yixing has seen the way Yifan had crumbled in private, shattered beyond belief when Luhan had first left the Forbidden City, and would always be distracted from his work without knowing if Luhan was doing well out of the palace. On one hand, Yixing truly admires Yifan's devotion to the people he loves – Yixing swallows at the thought that Luhan has accepted that Yixing's a part of this – but on the other, Yifan would definitely gain criticism from his ministers for letting his mind wander. 

It's a double-edged sword, really. 

"How bad is it?" Luhan asks again, and Yixing stares at him, wide-eyed. "If you aren't keen on letting Yifan know, then at least tell me. You have kept my secret about the dagger, and I will do the same to yours." 

Yixing chews on his bottom lip, hesitating. _Could_ he trust Luhan to keep this from Yifan's knowledge? Perhaps, and Yixing is willing to take that chance. He can never say 'no' to Luhan to begin with; no one can. "The Imperial Healer tells me that if I were to suffer from yet another punishingly cold weather, my lungs will give up on me." He swallows yet again, remembering the grim look on the Imperial Healer's face when Yixing had asked. This has been kept a well-guarded secret, even from Baekhyun, but now Luhan knows it too.

Luhan's expressions turn ashen at the hidden implication behind Yixing's words, which yet again comes off as a surprise to Yixing because Luhan is _supposed_ to hate him for stealing a part of Yifan's heart. He's supposed to laugh mockingly at Yixing and to wish for his death. Not this. Yixing would never, in a million years, expect for Luhan to look absolutely _terrified_ with how short Yixing's life has been doomed to be. And for once, Yixing feels guilty for having dumped such a huge burden for Luhan to shoulder, because Yixing isn't strong enough to carry the secret on his own. 

"You _need_ to let Yifan know of this, Yixing–" Luhan sounds almost pleading, but Yixing doesn't let him finish what he has to say, knowing that Luhan will find a way to coerce Yixing into seeing things his way. 

"And I will, in due time. Just, not now. Not when he's just lost his mother and with assassins hot on his trail." Yixing tries to reason with Luhan. "You and I both know that Yifan needs to clear his mind to think of a plan to wrest the nation back from whoever it is that has forcefully removed Yifan from his throne. Letting him find out about my condition will only be counterproductive in the end, and I dread the thought that Yifan would give up on his nation _because_ of me." Feeling emboldened, Yixing reaches forth to grab hold of Luhan's warm, smooth hands in his calloused ones. "You would do the same, if you were in my shoes. Wouldn't you?"

Luhan squeezes his eyes shut, but doesn't pull his hands away from Yixing's grasp. Doesn't seem averse to it, in fact, and the surprises just keep coming when Luhan leans forward to press his forehead against Yixing's, making Yixing hold his breath. Something has changed between them, from the time Luhan had been exiled from the palace to Yifan and Yixing's near death, and Yixing would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to find out _what_. If, of course, the heavens above decide to be merciful with him and would allow him to live a little longer. 

"I don't like it when you see through me, do you know that?" He whispers, and Yixing's heart jumps again when Luhan cups his face with his warm, warm hands, his eyes automatically wandering towards Luhan's lips. They seem well-kissed, and Yixing wonders if Yifan had just laid claim on them moments before Luhan had decided to wander into his room. The thought makes a low heat simmer in the pit of his stomach, the sensation dangerously similar to arousal. 

"And? What are you going to do about it, _gege_?" The words aren't meant to come out as a challenge, but Yixing's voice has turned rather hoarse from attraction, and Luhan begins to stroke his cheek gently with the back of his finger, making Yixing's pulse race. 

"Have you take responsibility for that, of course," is Luhan's simple answer, before he leans in the rest of the distance and captures Yixing's lips in a gentle, sweet kiss, very much unlike the punishing ones they'd shared a few weeks ago, when Luhan had explored every inch of Yixing's naked body in the comforts of Luhan's chambers. 

Yixing can't say he minds this at all. 

 

\--

 

Luhan absently traces the outline of his swollen lips with the pad of his thumb, his tongue darting out to catch the distinct taste of both Yifan and Yixing lingering upon them as he heads back to his own room for the night. It's been a long, insanely eventful day even for Luhan's tastes, but what surprises him the most is the fact that he'd kissed Yixing on his own accord. 

Despite the gratitude he holds for Yixing, for having returned the dagger which is a part of the Lu family heirloom, Luhan had expected for himself to feel agitated the moment he had stepped into Yixing's room. He'd felt a sharp stab of pain in his chest when Yifan had asked for Yixing when he was trying to help Yifan escape, but that resentment soon melts away into something which Luhan can't put a finger on when he meets Yixing once again. There's a pallor to his features which was never there the last time Luhan had seen Yixing, right before he had left the Forbidden City, and Jongin's message from Baekhyun only makes him worry even more. 

He wonders if Yifan has seen Yixing like this, and what had he said about it. It doesn't seem like it, though; Yifan was far too calm for him to have known. 

As usual, Jongin falls in line with Luhan closer to his chambers, the younger man's expressions almost unreadable. "You have fallen for Zhang Yixing too, have you not?" He asks, and there's no doubt he'd been there to watch Luhan pressing his lips to Yixing's chapped ones.

Luhan thinks back on the kiss he had shared with Yixing moments ago, comparing it to the one he had with Yifan, and he's hit with a sickening realisation that he enjoys _both_ of them to an almost similar extent; the languid kisses he'd exchanged with Yifan still triumphs, for the sheer reason that Luhan knows he _loves_ Yifan with all his heart. Yixing... Yixing is someone he barely even knows, yet it feels as though he's known Yixing forever. 

In the end, though, knowing that Jongin would be upset with him if he told the truth, Luhan reluctantly pulls his hand away from his lips, forcing it to stay by his side. "Of course not, Jongin. Don't be silly." He lies, even though his heart protests against it. "You should rest. We have a long day tomorrow."

Another lie; Luhan knows he will not be able to rest well tonight, for many differing reasons. 

(He stops himself from thinking about Zhang Yixing, albeit with little success.)


	41. Chapter 41

" _Emperor Wu Yifan has been found guilty beyond reason for plotting and murdering Empress Dowager Wu Zilin, the very person who had birthed and bred him. As such, Emperor Wu Yifan has been officially removed from his position as the Emperor of China, and will henceforth be succeeded by Emperor Song Lin, marking this day as the beginning of the brand new Song Dynasty. May His Majesty enjoy a long, fulfilling life, and bring our nation to even greater heights._ " Baekhyun reads from the scroll, enunciating each word carefully. He'd ripped the announcement scroll which has been put up on the board in a quieter part of town when no one was looking, and brought it home to show it to the rest. But the further he gets with reading, the more Baekhyun can't resist from scrunching his nose. And he does just that, making a face when he's done with the scroll, announcing his disgust to the world. "This is terrible. Who are they to throw such grave accusations around? Committing murder is a serious offense." 

Yifan is rather inclined to agree with Baekhyun, his stomach churning unpleasantly. It doesn't really matter to him that they've decided to announce that Yifan's no longer the Emperor, but to pin the guilt of the Empress Dowager's – his _mother_ 's – murder on him when he can't even refute it from where he's hiding, not when there are assassins out there who are actively searching for him. He needs to clear his name, though, and he needs to do it fast, before the belief becomes too entrenched in the eyes of the general public. By then, it may be too late for him to remedy anything at all, and his people's trust in him would be far too eroded to be salvaged. 

Beside him, Yixing shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and Yifan places a placating hand on his thigh, not really caring that there are others in the room with them. They've grown immune to Yifan's affectionate ways around Luhan and Yixing, anyway, considering that they finally have the freedom to do whatever they want without having to live under public scrutiny from Yifan's ministers. "I did not expect for Prime Minister Song to pull such a move, even if he _has_ been actively antagonising you on the Court." Yixing says, placing his own hand above Yifan's warm one and squeezes it in encouragement. Yifan flashes him a grateful smile, and is pleased when Yixing's cheeks turn a beautiful shade of rose pink from embarrassment. It's a good colour on him, especially when he seems extraordinarily pale as of late.

There's always the lingering suspicion that Yixing's feeling under the weather, when Yifan takes a closer look at his face and finds a hint of dark circles beneath Yixing's occasionally bloodshot eyes, but never truly deeply imprinted enough for Yifan to know for sure if Yixing's getting enough sleep at all. Then again, they all haven't been sleeping well, worried about the future of the nation and for their own lives. Even though the mansion they're currently seeking refuge in is aimed at confusing those on the outside, by employing Jongin's family name instead of announcing to the world that it belongs to the Lu family, they can never be too sure if the assassins – wherever they are – had managed to track them down on the streets of Chang'an and tailed them all the way to the mansion, which is located in a quieter part of Chang'an. It's less likely for Baekhyun and Jongin to have been recognised, and Yifan, along with Luhan and Yixing have opted to stay indoors while they had their guards do their bidding, but they can never be too careful. After the last assassination attempt in the Forbidden City, Yifan has found himself jolting awake on more nights than one at the slightest of sounds which permeate the haze of his sleep. 

Besides, if Yixing were truly ill, Yifan trusts that Baekhyun, at the very least, would alert him of his health condition. Yixing's a stubborn man, after all, and would refuse to show his weakness to the world, especially not to Yifan. Sometimes, Yifan doesn't know if this trait of Yixing's is such a good thing after all. 

"I _can_ ," Luhan joins in the conversation just then, stretching a little to loosen the kinks in his muscles, hiding his yawn behind a hand, having just awoken from his sleep. Yifan looks up just then, and his heart aches at the sight; Luhan has been fretting aplenty with Yifan, trying to come up with possible ways to barge into the palace grounds and seize the throne back from the renegades, and the strain is starting to show in the form of deep lines on his face. Still, a surge of pride wells in Yifan's chest, knowing that he can always count on his lover to always be there for him, and to plough through these obstacles together. "I have always perceived Song Lin as a sly fox. He never runs out of ideas to make our lives difficult, and has always been a power-hungry person." He scoffs a little at his own words, but smiles at both Yifan and Yixing when he walks over and takes the empty seat to Yifan's other side. Yifan accommodates Luhan when he leans his weight against Yifan's side, feeling slightly more at ease. 

A sigh escapes Yifan's lips, though, when he remembers the matter at hand. "Perhaps too many years as the Prime Minister has gotten to his head, but it isn't as though I had a choice apart from keeping him in my Cabinet. His experience with my father's ruling regime is invaluable." He says, before closing his eyes in an effort to fight off the impending headache. If only he'd instated more check and balance mechanisms amongst his ministers and exerted his authority as the Emperor, they probably wouldn't have gotten this ambitious. There is no place for regrets now, though, when things have arrived at this stage. 

"That I do not dispute." Luhan agrees easily; he winds his hand behind Yifan and starts rubbing soothing circles into the small of his back when he senses the tension in Yifan's muscles, knowing that he could get Yifan to relax like this. All the years they've been married has taught them of each other's quirks and inclinations, and Yifan is really glad he still has Luhan by his side. He rather wishes Luhan would get along with Yixing, learn to like him even, but Yifan will have to wait till this mess has been cleared before he can do anything about it. At the very least, Luhan is no longer actively trying to antagonise Yixing. Baby steps.

"I am worried about Junmyeon and Jongdae, though." Yixing mentions just then, and the room is promptly submerged in a blanket of tense silence.

They hadn't the time to warn Junmyeon and Jongdae in advance about the _coup d'état_ when the Empress Dowager had passed on, something which Yifan regrets even now. When Song Lin had clawed his way into power, there is no doubt that the man would first capture Yifan's closest aides and throw them into prison while he cooks up a non-existent crime to pin on their heads. There aren't any guards Yifan could spare to retrieve them, either, considering both Han Geng and Sungmin's missions, and Baekhyun's need to protect Yixing.

There's also Zitao, if he had managed to overpower the assassins who'd been keen on bringing him down before chasing after Yifan, but Yifan honestly doesn't know if he can trust in Zitao again, when he'd already betrayed both Yifan and Luhan once. It's something which Yifan frankly thinks will take a long while to forgive, considering how Zitao had nearly caused Luhan's death, if Yifan hadn't stepped in to intervene and exerted his authority, thereby preventing his mother from ordering for Luhan's execution. 

He can only hope that Junmyeon and Jongdae are safe, but he doesn't get to voice his thoughts when a new pair stumbles in through the door. Everyone's immediately on their feet, those with weapons wielding them in preparation for a scuffle, but Yixing's the first to speak up and asks of them to stand down. 

Yifan's confused for a brief moment, before he realises why. The subjects of their current conversation are standing in the reception hall of Luhan's mansion, appearing slightly shaken but none worse for the wear, and Sungmin walks in after them, bowing at Yifan in greeting.

As expected, Jongdae's the first to pipe up with a broad smile, hooking his arm around Junmyeon's neck even as Junmyeon actively tries to shake him off out of embarrassment. "Has someone been talking about us?" 

Relief promptly washes over the room, and laughter floods the cosy space soon after.

 

\--

 

It turns out that Sungmin had managed to return to the Forbidden City just in time, before Song Lin's new troops had descended upon Junmyeon's and Jongdae's residences to grab hold of them. It had been a terribly close shave, Jongdae having been picked up by Sungmin mere moments before soldiers had brought down his door and spilled into his living space, yelling for Jongdae's arrest on suspicion of treason and for aiding Yifan in plotting the Empress Dowager's death. Baekhyun, on the other hand, had sent Sungmin a message on their whereabouts, its contents written in a code which only Yifan's Secret Guards know of, and led them to discovering the so-called Kim Family Mansion. 

"He is simply unbelievable, that sly fox, trying to pin a charge so unthinkable on all of us." Jongdae huffs as he nurses a cup of tea; Yifan almost doesn't doubt that Luhan had learned of the term from Jongdae. For someone who's supposed to be training Yifan's consorts and concubines in palace etiquette, Jongdae can be surprisingly lacking in manners to those who are less acquainted with him. In Yifan's eyes, though, it's just who Jongdae is, untainted and unchanged from the time he had first met Jongdae when they were much, much younger. And he's glad that no one's bothered enough to uphold palace etiquette at the moment, because Yifan kind of wants to escape from being called _Your Majesty_ for the time being; a short reprieve from the suffocating decorum. 

"I suppose Yifan had anticipated this," Junmyeon chimes in, brows furrowed in thought. "That is why you had Sungmin and Han Geng heading off to warn the army generals in advance, is it not?" 

Yifan nods solemnly. "It is. I have been suspecting that Song Lin has been eyeing the Dragon Throne for a while now, and it is only a matter of time before he had made his move." He tells them, then, as an afterthought, adds: "I certainly hope he does not find out that Song Qian was the one who had tipped us off in the end, though. If he could be bold enough to poison my mother, he could do anything at all to his own daughter for betraying him." 

Of course, Yifan has been spending a healthy amount of time worrying over Song Qian, as well as the child – _their_ child – in her womb. Yifan has caught occasional glimpses of how cruel Song Lin could get when he's trying hard to achieve a particular goal, a trait which is enforced by his strong determination to make things go his way, and he doesn't doubt that he would think of harming Song Qian if she ever stood in his way of taking over the nation. For Song Qian's sake, Yifan hopes she would be smart enough to lay low and be careful of her actions.

It's one thing if she doesn't get caught, but if she does– 

Yifan tries hard to rein himself back from continuing on that line of thought.

"Kyungsoo will be sending us updates from within the palace grounds." Jongdae informs just then, forcefully dragging Yifan away from his more morbid thoughts. Yifan doesn't worry too much about Kyungsoo, knowing that he is an extremely resilient person with the smarts to overcome any adversity. No one actually knows that Kyungsoo and him are close acquaintances, only sees him as the quiet Keeper of the Archives with unnervingly large eyes, but that's where their advantage lies. "Messenger doves, he says."

"Would that not be dangerous?" Yixing enquires, his eyes wide from horror. "Anyone could intercept these doves and find out he has been feeding us with information. He will be in grave danger." 

"Worry not." Junmyeon reassures Yixing with a small smile. "He is a master at scrambling his words in an extremely unique way, but he has trained the both of us enough to know how to unscramble his messages when the need arises. A sadistic predilection of his, if you will." 

Despite the gravity of the situation they find themselves in, Yifan can't help the laugh that bubbles out of his throat at the memory. He remembers both Junmyeon and Jongdae moaning in pain as they plant their heads on the archive's table, begging for Kyungsoo to have mercy on them as Kyungsoo continues to pound the methods of unscrambling his secret messages into them while Yifan watches them from the sidelines. Yifan had escaped then, by virtue that he had just ascended the throne as the new Emperor of China. Even though they're actually friends, Kyungsoo is also equally as stubborn, if not more than Junmyeon, and vehemently refuses to address Yifan with anything less than _Your Majesty_ , the way he thinks he should. Even in private, Kyungsoo can't ever bring himself to call Yifan by his birth name, something which has never been a problem when Yifan was still the Crown Prince. Yifan has long given up on trying to change Kyungsoo's mindset, but it also earns him a set of privileges, to escape from Kyungsoo's subtle torture regimes which Junmyeon and Jongdae are possibly well-acquainted with by now. 

"Well," Yifan breathes, calming himself down when Junmyeon casts him the evil eye. Luhan nudges him in the side, a silent reminder that he's destroying his image before his subjects. "At least you can put it to good use now." 

At least Junmyeon's pacified by this, and he nods gravely in response. "True, that. Jungsoo says not to worry about him, by the way; he does not think Song Lin would do him any harm, and will probably want to rely on his vast wealth of knowledge to aid him."

Yifan is relieved to hear that, because Jungsoo is an important asset to the nation, and an extremely good teacher to Yifan. Luhan probably echoes the thought, because he significantly relaxes upon hearing what Junmyeon has to say. Despite his resentment, though, Yifan can't stop himself from asking, "Have you heard from Zitao?" Zitao had, after all, risked his life to earn Yifan a chance to make his escape, and it would be much too cruel of him to not care about Zitao's wellbeing. The boy had served him well for many years, too.

Sungmin fixes Yifan with a troubled look just then, as if disapproving of Yifan's concern for his traitorous guard, but Yifan decides to ignore it. No one else needs to know of Zitao's betrayal; not now. Luhan would probably stick his dagger right through Zitao's chest the moment he sees him, without providing Zitao with the opportunity to explain himself, should he find out what Zitao had done. Yifan has seen Luhan in the few rare occasions that he was _actually_ livid, and coupled with the new knowledge that he's not as defenceless as he projects himself to the world, Yifan thinks that Luhan is an extremely dangerous person to cross. 

(It doesn't make Yifan love him any less, though.) 

Jongdae's smile promptly falls at the question, and his expressions are fraught with worry. "Last I heard, he has been captured by Song Lin's minions and thrown into jail for trying to resist his capture. So far, his fate has yet to be determined, but I do hope they do not make a decision any time soon." 

And by _decision_ , Yifan knows there can only be one possible outcome: death. 

Just as the whole room is blanketed by a thick veil of worry, another newcomer appears through the door, coming to kneel before Yifan respectfully. "Your Majesty, the generals are ready to receive you," Han Geng informs, and it makes Yifan feel marginally better. At least they can figure out their next course of action, now. 

"Good," he announces, "make it known that I shall meet them at the border between Chang'an and Luoyang the first thing in the morning." 

"Yes, Your Majesty." Sungmin and Han Geng chorus at the same time, and immediately takes their leave to relay the important message. Time is of the essence. 

 

\--

 

Luhan enters Yixing's room later that evening to the sight of him packing his clothes, and immediately a frown finds its way to Luhan's forehead. He doesn't exactly know how his feet had carried him here on their own accord, but perhaps somewhere deep down, Luhan had expected for this to happen, for stubborn, _stubborn_ Yixing to believe that he's in a condition to follow after Yifan and Luhan into the harsh weather and towards the unknown. Anything could happen at all on their journey towards Luoyang; Luhan would be able to fight back should they be ambushed, and he could protect both Yifan and Yixing in the process, but Yixing's body isn't in a state to last the punishing journey after. 

"I hope you aren't thinking about going to the meeting with the generals with Yifan in the morning." He speaks up when Yixing doesn't seem to have noticed him entering, but Luhan frankly isn't surprised. Yixing can be oddly distracted on most times, just like the way he had left the doors of his room opened wide in this weather. Luhan can begin to see why he falls ill ever so often, and finds himself wishing that Yixing could take care of himself just a little more. 

He doesn't forget what Yixing had told him the other night, that his body might just fall apart on the next dip of ambient temperature. Yifan _will_ be livid with Luhan, if he ever discovers that Luhan knows of Yixing's ill health but keeps it to himself, and he will probably never forgive Luhan if anything happens to Yixing, especially when they could be actively searching for a cure for Yixing's condition instead of plotting a war against Song Lin and the other traitors in the government. Luhan understands Yifan that much. 

Yixing jumps at the sound of Luhan's voice, startled, and shoves the half-packed bundle behind him, a desperate attempt to hide it from view. " _Ge_ ," he greets with a sleepy smile, and Luhan could feel the cracks in his heart widening. Trust Yixing to put up a strong front even when he's suffering from his ailing health deep within. "I didn't hear you coming in. Sorry." 

Luhan crosses the rest of the distance from the door to Yixing's bed, taking a seat on it without requesting for permission, and fixes Yixing with a particularly stern gaze. "Are you insane, trying to head out in this sort of weather when you _know_ exactly what would happen to you?" He asks, almost hisses, but doesn't raise his voice at Yixing. 

Yixing blinks at him in confusion for a brief moment, before he seems to remember that he'd told Luhan of his health condition, and his smile turns wry. "I cannot possibly stay cooped up within these four walls while you and Yifan head out into danger, _ge_." He tells Luhan, and Luhan tries hard to fight against the pleading intonation in Yixing's words. He's not going to fall for this, not going to relent.

Luhan will not forgive himself if anything happens to Yixing, if he should give in to Yixing's request. 

"No. You simply cannot walk out of this mansion with the cold winds billowing." Luhan insists, grabbing Yixing by his shoulders and shaking him a little, hoping that he could jolt some sense into Yixing's head. "This is _suicidal_ , and you know it. You _promised_ me to take good care of your health until this fiasco is over." 

Yixing's smile is sad when he brings a hand up to cup Luhan's cheek, and Luhan shudders at the coldness of his touch. It shouldn't be like this; Yixing's supposed to be warm, like them, yet his illness is gradually stealing all the warmth from him. "What sort of Consort would I be to Yifan, if I were to sit out of important meetings like these?" 

"A good one, for Yifan would appreciate a Consort who _thinks_ about their own condition first and foremost, instead of pushing themselves to do the impossible." Luhan swallows against the lump of emotions in his throat. "He will not blame you for sitting out of this meeting, and would rather have you rest here, in the mansion where he _knows_ you will be safe." 

He doesn't have the heart to tell Yixing that he'll only serve as a distraction to Yifan, because Yifan will always worry about him and Luhan even when they do not want him to. 

As expected, though, Yixing tries to protest, tries to persuade Luhan into seeing things his way. "But–" he begins, but Luhan cuts him off with a kiss. 

The kiss is more impulse than anything else, with Luhan wanting to stop Yixing from talking, but the longer they keep their lips pressed together, the harder it is for Luhan to hold his desires back. It's been like this ever since Luhan had fucked Yixing in his chambers, the heat that simmers in the pit of his stomach whenever he sees Yixing and remembers how he had been, all pliant and boneless and naked on Luhan's bed, but back then, Luhan had been too averse to the idea of ever touching Yixing again, an emotion stemming from his hatred for Yixing. Right now, though, something akin to attraction and the desire of wanting to protect Yixing burns strong in Luhan, and he makes his feelings known by deepening the kiss, biting gently on Yixing's lower lip and sucking on his tongue when he elicits a gasp out of Yixing. 

Yixing's once again rendered boneless in Luhan's embrace, letting Luhan lick into his mouth and nip on his swollen lips however he wants to, and his grip on the front of Luhan's robe is firm, pulling Luhan that much closer to him. Luhan hums low, satisfied, when Yixing's practically in his lap moments later, his clothed erection pressed against Luhan's abdomen. 

They don't get any further than that, though, when a confused voice speaks up from the direction of the door to Yixing's room, causing them to spring apart immediately. "Luhan? Yixing?" The voice had asked, and it's not until much later – when the haze of desire and arousal has dissipated completely from the interruption – that Luhan realises it belongs to _Yifan_ , and they'd forgotten that the door was left open. It's only natural for someone to stumble upon them, eventually. 

Fighting against what Luhan recognises as disappointment, Luhan wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve, feeling his cheeks flush from mortification at being caught, and quickly pulls himself away from Yixing's bed. He doesn't raise his gaze to meet Yifan's when he walks past his husband, worried of what he might find in Yifan's eyes – he doesn't want to see the rage in them, not when they'd just managed to reconcile – but of course Yifan would hold Luhan in place with a firm grip on his upper arm, keeping him there. To Luhan's surprise, though, the grip feels more reassuring than angry, but he doesn't want to delude himself into thinking that Yifan is okay with this, okay with his Consorts fooling around behind him without his knowledge. And he definitely doesn't want Yifan to find out that he's slept with Yixing once, unsure of what Yifan might think about it. 

Swallowing hard against the nauseating feeling rising in his chest, Luhan shrugs out of Yifan's hold, as gently as he possibly can manage. He doesn't want to give Yifan the idea that he refuses to be anywhere near Yifan right now, because that is the last thing on his mind. "Please, talk some sense into your other Consort, and tell him that the weather will be much too harsh for him to make the journey with you," is all that Luhan says in a low voice, before he leaves the room, allowing Yifan and Yixing to have some alone time.

Later, when he returns to his room, Luhan shuts the doors behind him and leans against it before sliding onto the ground, burying his head between his bended knees, wondering just what the hell had possessed him to kiss Zhang Yixing, and why Yixing did not push him away when he could have done so. 

 

\--

 

Yifan's a bit disoriented when he trudges into Yixing's room, mostly because he'd just witnessed Luhan and Yixing making out on Yixing's bed. And he's utterly confused because up until several minutes ago, he had been under the impression that Luhan's only being nice to Yixing because he doesn't want to upset Yifan, not because Luhan might just be interested in Yixing in a romantic way, too. If he has to be completely honest with himself, Yifan actually finds that he doesn't mind Luhan and Yixing hooking up. Welcomes it, in fact, because it's extremely arousing to watch Luhan and Yixing making out without a care for the world. 

If this were any other time when they weren't dealing with a potential war in their hands, Yifan _would_ have spurred them on. 

Right now, though, with Luhan's words swimming around in his mind, Yifan approaches Yixing who's still seated on his bed, appearing extremely guilty for what he had just done with Luhan behind Yifan's back. "Stop overthinking things," Yifan tells him soothingly, and tips Yixing's head up with gentle fingers on his chin. "I'm not angry." 

And, to prove his words, Yifan leans in to claim Yixing's lips with a kiss, humming softly when he tastes the stain of _molihua_ left on them by Luhan. Yifan actually feels sorry, for having neglected Yixing over the last couple of weeks while he worried himself over everything else, but now that there's a lull before they could take their next course of action, Yifan wants to make up for it. 

Yixing's cheeks are tinged pink when they part for air moments later, but he doesn't wait for long before encircling his arms around Yifan's neck, pulling him to sit on the bed beside Yixing, his lips automatically finding their way to Yifan's again. Yifan rubs soothing circles into the small of Yixing's back, fully intending to dispel the last of the tension in his muscles. And it works for the most part, when Yifan can feel Yixing relaxing in his hold, his kisses lazy and languid, warm breaths fanning across Yifan's cheeks. 

It's only when they're both completely breathless that they pause to press their foreheads together, and Yifan can hear the smile in Yixing's words when he breathes, "I've missed you, Yifan." 

Yifan presses another chaste kiss to Yixing's swollen lips, and echoes Yixing's sentiments as his hands come to rest on Yixing's hips. "I've missed you, too. I'm sorry for not spending more time with you, Xing." 

Yixing's eyes are bright when Yifan pulls back to regard him, a broad hand cupping Yixing's cheeks. Yifan's heart aches when he realises just how gaunt Yixing has become, and the capillaries in the whites of Yixing's eyes are more pronounced from the distance. Yixing's smiling when he holds Yifan's gaze, though, and his pulse races when Yixing circles his arms around Yifan's waist and buries his face in Yifan's chest. "It's fine. I understand that you have greater responsibilities to tend to. Baekhyun and Jongdae have kept me company in the palace, so worry not." 

Yifan wraps his arms around Yixing's smaller frame and pecks him on the head, inhaling Yixing's scent and feeling Yixing's heart beat against his body. It's small moments like these that makes Yifan feel as though he can take on the world, knowing that both Luhan and Yixing will be there for him no matter what.

"How can I not worry? You seem to be ill from the weather." Yifan murmurs against Yixing's hair moments later, and feels his husband stiffen ever so slightly in his hold. It instantly confirms Yifan's suspicions, and Yifan pulls away to hold Yixing's gaze. " _Are_ you ill?"

"No," Yixing denies almost too quickly, his throat working. "I just haven't been having a good night's sleep, is all. It's a little difficult to rest well, when I keep worrying about any potential assassination attempts." 

It's not a very convincing argument, but it's not entirely unbelievable either. Yifan's the same, always jolting up in the middle of the night when a loud noise invades his senses, his hand immediately reaching for the sword he keeps beside him on the bed, only to realise that it's just the wind causing havoc outside his room. It has gotten him completely on the edge for the first few nights, before Yifan had gradually forced himself to relax, trusting Sungmin, Jongin, and Baekhyun to do their best at guarding them. 

"What Luhan said – you aren't really thinking about following us to the border, are you?" Yifan asks again, before he catches sight of the bundle of clothes behind Yixing, and he frowns. "Yixing, you _can't_." 

The hurt flashes across Yixing's features just then, and Yifan's heart constricts at the sight. No matter how much he wishes Yixing could be there with him and Luhan at the meeting with the generals, Yifan also knows that it might potentially jeopardise Yixing's health. Yixing's body hasn't been in the best of conditions as of late; even Yifan can see that, from the way Yixing has been trying to hide coughs behind closed fists when he thinks no one's looking. He doesn't want to think about the possibility of Yixing collapsing in the middle of their journey, like the last time Yixing had fainted in the Forbidden City. They won't have the Imperial Healer at their every beck and call if it happens, and Yifan dreads to think about the possible outcome of Yixing's deterioration. It'll be difficult to even search for a medical practitioner, when they're far away from the city.

Yifan isn't going to risk it. 

"Why not? I am healthy enough. Luhan _gege_ is merely being a worrywart." Yixing protests, but Yifan can hear the hoarseness of his voice which has never been there before. He's still more inclined to believe that Yixing's lung condition is affecting his health yet again. 

Desperate for Yixing to see things his way, Yifan caresses Yixing's cheek with his hand once again, smiling at him tenderly. "As harsh as Luhan can be sometimes, he will only show his concern for those whom he holds dear to his heart, Yixing. And trust me when I say it rarely ever happens." Yifan tells him, watching as Yixing averts his gaze and worries on his bottom lip. The sight is simply endearing, and Yifan can't stop himself from landing a peck on Yixing's forehead, running his fingers through Yixing's hair. "I can see how much he cares for you, Yixing, even if you might not believe it. Luhan doesn't allow just _anyone_ to get this close to him, not even Junmyeon or Jongdae or Jungsoo. You are special, Yixing, and you should be proud of that." 

"I cannot possibly sit back and watch the both of you embark on the journey without me. I cannot bear the thought of losing you two, should anything happen along the way." Yixing mumbles brokenly, and Yifan gathers him in his embrace once again, wanting Yixing to know just how important he is to Yifan – and possibly Luhan, too, if the way he'd kissed Yixing ever so tenderly is anything to go by. 

"We'll have Sungmin, Han Geng, and Jongin with us." Yifan convinces him, because he's placed his full trust in their guards. They have done a good job at guarding both Yifan and Luhan so far, and Yifan can't see why they should fail him now. "And Luhan is more than capable of defending himself, as you probably might have known by now. I can bear witness to his abilities." 

At least he manages to earn a choked laugh from Yixing, though Yifan later realises that Yixing's actually crying from worry when a small patch of dampness forms on the fabric of his robes, right above where Yifan's heart is beating against his chest. "Can I really not change your mind about letting me come along with you?" 

Yifan shakes his head firmly in response. It's a hard enough task to stop himself from giving in to Yixing's request. "I will never be able to forgive myself if anything happens to you along the way, Yixing. Please, listen to me just this once." Then, as an afterthought, Yifan asks, "You have not seen your parents in a very long while, have you?" 

"No," Yixing mumbles, sighing in resignation. "Why?" 

"Then I will send you back to live with your parents in the meantime, instead of leaving you cooped up in this mansion all alone. Baekhyun will be tasked to guard you, of course, but take the time to see your parents while we're gone." He suggest, and Yixing actually gasps in surprise. Evidently, Yixing had expected that he would not be allowed to meet his parents ever again, from the moment he had married into the palace and became Yifan's Consort. But Yifan isn't cruel; he knows how Yixing must be missing his parents, night after night in the confines of his own chambers. He isn't the type of person who'd forget about his parents upon achieving royal status. 

"If you insist–" Yixing starts, and leans in for another kiss before he sends a pleading look at Yifan. "– but you _have_ to come back safely. I will not forgive you if you wound up hurt." 

Yifan grabs hold of Yixing's cold hand and presses his lips against his knuckles, a gesture of his devotion. "I promise you, Yixing." He says, every syllable has his lips brushing against skin, and Yixing shudders at the intensity of Yifan's gaze. "I promise that we will come back for you when all this is over – both Luhan and I." 

Yifan doesn't say this aloud, but he hopes that his determination will be more than enough to keep all of them safe. Then again, all battles, no matter how small a scale they are, will eventually end with bloodshed.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been considering if I should just end the fic on this chapter, but realised that the entire chapter might become too awfully overwhelming in the end, with the way I'm jumping from scene to scene and all. So yes, one more chapter after this, and it will be the end of all ends~ Enjoy!

Cold rain falls down upon Chang'an in heavy sheets on the morning they have to leave for the border between Chang'an and Luoyang, and the weather weighs heavily upon their hearts. It's a reminiscent of the morning his mother had passed on, but Yifan tries hard not to let his thoughts linger. Junmyeon and Jongdae have left earlier that morning just before daybreak, with Sungmin as their guard, in order to meet up with the generals first. They'd decided the night before that it was better if they broke up into smaller groups, because they'd stand a better chance at survival that way, if they happen to get attacked in the middle of the journey. Sungmin may be skilful at what he does, but there's only such a handful of opponents he can take on at any one time, especially when neither Junmyeon nor Jongdae knew how to wield a sword. 

It doesn't help that they had to send Yixing off to his parents' home, and had to witness Yixing breaking down in uncontrollable sobs the moment he laid his eyes upon his aging parents. Luhan had quietly shed a tear at the sight, but at least Yifan was there to hold his hand in a comforting gesture. The way Luhan had leaned against Yifan's side to support himself made him seem so vulnerable, and Yifan wrapped his arm around Luhan's waist, a silent reassurance that everything will be fine. 

Despite their worries that Yixing might be discovered by the assassins which Song Lin might have hired, though, Baekhyun steps in and promises that he'll guard Yixing with his life, and will fight until his very last breath to keep Yixing safe while Yifan and Luhan were gone. Yifan doesn't doubt that Baekhyun will keep his word; along with Sungmin and Han Geng, the three of them have always been fiercely loyal to Yifan, perfecting the tasks given to them without fail. And Yifan trusts Baekhyun enough with Yixing's life, knowing that he'll safeguard his promise until the very end. 

Once Yixing has safely disappeared into the confines of his old home, Baekhyun having sneaked into Yixing's chambers long before his parents had come out to meet Yixing, Yifan exchanges a glance with Luhan, whom nods firmly in acquiescence. 

It's time. 

 

\--

 

"Do you have news on their whereabouts?" Song Lin asks with a deep growl, already growing impatient from the lack of development. When he'd been the Prime Minister of the nation, Song Lin had never known of the amount of work waiting for the Emperor at the end of their Court proceedings, never knew of the time and effort needed to run the nation at its helm. Right now, though, swamped with hundreds of scrolls all requiring his immediate attention, Song Lin rather thinks that this isn't the type of life he had anticipated it to be. 

In his eyes, the Emperor would let go of his responsibilities the moment the Court proceedings are over for the morning, and would indulge himself in all the pleasures of life, including spending as much time as he can fooling around with his Consorts. The first Emperor he'd served, Yifan's father, was like that, and he had expected nothing less of his successor. Besides, Song Lin has had the experience of being turned away from the Emperor's study more than once, informed by the guards that Yifan was busy with his Consort. It had diminished Song Lin's opinions on the young Emperor, thinking that he's just the same as his father, opting for pleasure and abandoning his responsibilities as the ruler of China. 

But when Song Lin had first occupied the Emperor's study, he'd made sure to go through every single scroll which lay open on the desk, eyebrows furrowed as he reads them from beginning till the end. He doesn't want to admit this, but he can see the amount of effort Yifan puts into every project, every policy, every legislation before he approves them, a new parchment filled with questions on how they'll be able to improve each of these niche areas further before implementing them in his administration, each word painstakingly written and his worries elaborates. On occasion, Song Lin would also find the handwriting belonging to Luhan on these scrolls, penning down sound arguments of why a certain point in the policy will or will not work, and he feels defeated. 

_Had_ he been too blinded by his pride and his prejudice towards the Imperial Couple to see what they have been doing behind the scenes, away from the eyes of the ministers? 

Regardless, things have already been set in motion, and Song Lin has gotten himself far too deep into the pool to wrench himself out. 

"Yes, Your Majesty." The masked man informs him, and Song Lin smiles in approval for the first time since he'd ascended the throne. "A messenger has informed that the generals have congregated just outside Chang'an, and predicts that Wu Yifan will be there to meet them by sundown." 

"Good. Then we shall intercept them before they complete the journey. I trust that you have sent your men on their way?" Song Lin says, satisfied. Now that Wu Yifan has probably figured out that Song Lin is the person behind his mother's assassination, he has to silence Wu Yifan once and for all. Pity; he's just beginning to see the good side of the previous Emperor, too. "You are dismissed."

"Your Majesty, one more thing." The man speaks up again, and Song Lin turns away from his window to regard his underling. "One of my men caught sight of Zhang Yixing entering his old home. Would you like us to launch an attack?"

Song Lin strokes his beard in deep thought for a long moment, weighing his options. While Zhang Yixing himself is rather powerless to overthrow the nation should anything happen to Wu Yifan, Song Lin doesn't doubt that he will provide a good leverage for negotiations with Wu Yifan, should things boil down to that stage. And, even if he knows that Yifan is a lot more in love with Luhan than with Zhang Yixing, Song Lin expects him to be fiercely protective over Yixing all the same. 

He doesn't know why Yifan had decided to part ways with Zhang Yixing, right before meeting with the generals, but Song Lin sure as hell isn't going to sit around and guess his motives for doing so. He's going to need all the help he can get to eliminate Wu Yifan for good. 

"Go, but do not injure him too gravely. I want him back alive."

 

\--

 

Song Qian stifles a gasp with the back of her hand when she hears what her father had just ordered his underling to do, the tears of fear welling up in her eyes. She doesn't ever want him to get anyone hurt, especially not Yifan, and definitely not sweet, sweet Zhang Yixing. 

Being cooped up in the Forbidden City, though, Song Qian has her hands metaphorically tied behind her back, unable to do anything when she has to face up to the force of her father's newfound army all alone. It's a gargantuan task, one which will make her see failure before she can even begin. An idea crosses her mind just then, though, and immediately Song Qian picks up the hem of her robes, walking as quickly as she can in the direction of the archives. 

She will need Do Kyungsoo's help. 

 

\--

 

There's a sense of unease that fills the carriage as they go on their way, and Yifan shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Beside him, Luhan is uncannily silent, his brows set in a deep frown as he stares out the window, but his thumb is still sweeping absently over the back of Yifan's hand where they lie entwined on the seat between them. 

"Do you think we will get to the generals in time?" Yifan asks in a bare whisper, not wanting Jongin and Han Geng to listen in on their conversation. The galloping of the horse's hooves against the ground makes up for the rest of it. 

Luhan turns to regard him with a tiny smile on his face, squeezing Yifan's hand in reassurance. "We all need to hold on to that faith, Yifan."

It's what Yifan needs to smile back gently at Luhan. He admires Luhan's ability to stay calm even at times like these, truly, and is glad that they'd patched up before the inevitable clash with Song Lin's army. He's loathe to think about the amount of regrets he'll have, if he dies without ever being able to apologise to Luhan for his mistakes. In that sense, the Gods above have been kind to him. 

"I promised Yixing that we will return for him when this is done." Yifan tells him, sensing the way Luhan stiffens next to him. They hadn't talked about the kiss Luhan had been sharing with Yixing when Yifan had walked in on them, Luhan having fallen asleep when Yifan had finally left Yixing's chambers after getting his word that he will not think about following after Yifan to meet the generals. The guilt is clear on his face when Yifan turns to regard Luhan, but he offers another small, placating smile and says, "Together. You and I both." 

He loves the surprised look on Luhan's face when the words finally sink in. "You're not... angry?" He asks, wonderment and disbelief in his voice. "I didn't think–" 

"Luhan, relax." Yifan orders, and Luhan does, letting his shoulders fall. The uncertainty is still swimming in his eyes, though, prompting Yifan to lean forward to claim Luhan's lips with a sweet kiss. He holds Luhan's gaze when he pulls away, smiling again when Luhan encircles his arms around Yifan's neck. "It's okay. I have always wanted you to accept Yixing into the family – _our_ family – and while I did not expect you to progress so fast, I'm fine with it. Really." Then, almost as an afterthought, Yifan admits, "I was actually turned on, seeing you make out with Yixing like that."

Luhan splutters at the confession, and Yifan's cheeks warm when he realises what he'd just said, but there's a coy look on Luhan's face when Yifan looks next. "Then... would you be mad if I told you we, uh, _slept_ together?" 

There's a long moment of silence as Yifan tries to let the words sink in, and when it does, Yifan's eyes widen in confusion, yelling a very loud, "What?!" in response, because he'd never thought that Luhan and Yixing have gotten _that_ far. 

Just then, the carriage swerves sharply to the right, throwing Yifan back against the wall and sending Luhan crashing into him. For a while, Yifan had thought that his reaction towards Luhan's admission had shocked Han Geng, who was driving the carriage, and is fully prepared to apologise to his guard when Han Geng pokes his head in, but the grim look on his guard's face tells Yifan that is not the case at all. 

And Yifan's heart sinks as he shares a concerned look with Luhan, when Han Geng tells them, "Your Majesty, we have company."

Luhan immediately draws his sword, fingers wrapped tightly around Yifan's wrist as they hop out of the carriage and into the rain. Yifan had hoped that they could have avoided this, but it seems as though they have no other choice but to fight.

 

\--

 

"I apologise for my insolence, M'lady, but – are you _insane_?" Kyungsoo hisses once Song Qian is done telling him of her plans, slamming his fists on the table to make his point. "His Majesty will _kill_ me if he finds out that I indulged you and allowed you to endanger your own life while you're pregnant with his child! Please, think about it again!" 

Song Qian sighs in exasperation at Kyungsoo's rare outburst; he has always been the calmest person of the lot, expressions stoic even when faced up with a daunting task. She had expected this to happen, though, her expressions unchanging as she regards him once again. "Kyungsoo, _you_ are the one who needs to think about this. You have not been captured by my father, simply because he does not know of your friendship with Yifan. If you get caught for sending him a message, then you will be in grave danger; beheaded on the spot, even." 

"And you're his daughter, M'lady!" Kyungsoo hisses again, torn between wanting to raise his voice and to keep their conversation to themselves. The walls of the Forbidden City have ears, after all, and it would be too great a risk to expose themselves at this point of time. "What makes you think he will not harm you?" 

"He does not expect me to wander out of the palace like this, Kyungsoo," Song Qian frowns at him as she gestures at her very gravid abdomen. They both know very well that Song Lin fully expects Song Qian to stay indoors, in order to protect the foetus growing within her womb, and in that sense, Song Qian would bear the element of surprise. " _Please_. Time is running out, and Yifan's life is in danger even as we speak. I beg–"

Kyungsoo audibly groans and cuts Song Qian off the moment she employs the magic word, because he doesn't think he's qualified enough to have a royal begging him for a favour. "Alright, M'lady, I get it. I'll help, but I am certainly not going to be responsible if anything happens to you," he says, but the growing smile on Song Qian's face tells Kyungsoo that she isn't taking his warning seriously.

Frankly, Kyungsoo doesn't trust himself to keep it, either. 

 

\--

 

Having to fight in the rain is a difficult task, especially for someone who isn't as well-versed with using a sword as Yifan is. But still he pushes himself to his limits, knowing that he can't possibly drag his entourage down by being a dead weight, never mind that they fully expected to be protecting Yifan with their lives. Jongin, in particular, will probably resent him for life if anything happens to Luhan in the process, because Yifan knows the depth of Jongin's affections for his master. 

Jongin and Han Geng are doing a good job at driving the assassins back, and even Yifan can't find it in himself to comment when Han Geng deals a particularly vicious attack on one of the assassins who lunged at him, sword piercing right through his chest where his heart is supposed to be. Yifan isn't particularly fond of unnecessary killing, preferring to instead incapacitate his enemies enough to cripple them for the moment and rendering them unable to continue fighting, and it's something which the most loyal of his guards know of. At times like these, though, when they're fighting for their own lives, Yifan knows that ending someone else's life is close to inevitable.

Luhan's fingers are wrapped firmly around Yifan's wrist as they fight back to back, and Yifan's shoulders and back are broad enough to provide leverage for Luhan as he leans back and kicks out at the one of the masked men attacking him, before swinging his dagger just in time to catch the man's neck when he loses his balance, drawing an obscene amount of blood from his carotid. Yifan doesn't pause to think how Luhan doesn't even hesitate when landing a fatal blow, but it makes Yifan see him in a brand new light, realising that this is why Luhan had rejected the need to have a personal guard assigned to him by Yifan. 

Yifan also catches himself staring at Jongin in wonderment, whenever he gets a brief reprieve from being repeatedly greeted by the sharp tip of a sword. For all the young years that Jongin has, he is surprisingly adept at fighting, no doubt having been trained extensively in the past. And Yifan can see why Luhan is extremely fond of the boy, his loyalty burning fiercely as he drags the masked men away from Luhan to protect his master. 

They soon learn that they're being overwhelmed, however, as more assassins converge upon them even after felling so many. Visibility is poor, with the rain falling down hard upon their heads, and even with the rather thin commoner's clothing on their backs, it's beginning to weigh them down from being drenched completely. Han Geng evidently catches on to that fact really quickly, because he's pushing the group of men surrounding him back with one mighty roar, before beginning to shove Yifan and Luhan back towards their abandoned carriage with more force than is necessary, all while apologising profusely for his insolence. 

For a long moment, Yifan finds himself being confused over Han Geng's intentions, but when he hollers for Jongin to _get over here, now!_ , he begins to see Han Geng's rationale. He's trying to have Jongin steer the carriage and save both Yifan and Luhan, while Han Geng stays behind to fend off the assassins. Jongin's a little wide-eyed, feeling bewildered as he continues to slash at their attackers, but he soon catches on to Han Geng's intentions and wastes no time at climbing onto the driver's seat, throwing several poisoned darts hidden beneath his robes at the assassins still charging at them while Han Geng shoves both Yifan and Luhan back into the carriage. 

Yifan does not argue with Han Geng on this, knowing full well that the man will knock Yifan out if he ever dares to protest – even at the risk of getting beheaded for treating the Emperor roughly – and holds Han Geng's hand through the window, squeezing tightly in gratitude. "Stay safe, Han Geng, and meet up with us when you can." 

Han Geng's smile is a little haunting when he tells Yifan, "It's been a great pleasure serving you, Your Majesty. Godspeed." 

And then they're off. 

When Yifan turns behind to watch his loyal servant, Han Geng is fighting more valiantly than before, having grabbed another sword from an assassin he'd just killed, gliding through the air in a graceful sword dance. Yifan closes his eyes when Han Geng's figure becomes no more than a speck in the distance, sending a silent prayer to the gods above to keep his faithful servant alive, if not unharmed. 

 

\--

 

Baekhyun's voice is loud as he yells from the courtyard, "Hide, now!", and Yixing is instantly on the move, dashing towards the storage room hidden away in a corner of his home and locking himself in it. He hears the commotion the moment his house had been invaded, door crashing loudly to the ground as a group of soldiers marches in, yelling for the traitors to surrender themselves.

Yixing had to say a silent 'thank you' to the high heavens, for he had managed to send his parents out to their store an hour ago despite their insistence at staying home to accompany him. As much as Yixing had wanted to catch up with his parents on their lives after he'd left for the Forbidden City, his heart had been fraught with uneasiness the entire morning since Yifan and Luhan had departed for Luoyang, worrying that something might happen, and had insisted for his parents to open up for business as usual despite the rain falling down on Chang'an, convincing them that any business, no matter how few customers they'd get throughout the day, is still business. 

Yixing really wouldn't have forgiven himself, if he gave in to his own desires for his parents to stay at home with him and gotten them in this mess. 

Even when he's far out at the back with the rain lashing against the tiles of the roof, Yixing can still hear the clamour happening outside. The soldiers are demanding for Yixing to surrender himself to the new Emperor or risk his death, while Baekhyun's surprisingly rather foul-mouthed as he curses at them while engaging the soldiers in a fight. telling them that there's no such 'Yixing' person living in this mansion. The sound of clashing metal is soon audible even through the noise of the rain, and a worried shiver wracks through Yixing's body. It seems that the soldiers have taken to not trusting in Baekhyun, and has resorted to forcing Baekhyun into giving in to them. 

The tips of Yixing's fingers are cold as he waits in the silence of the storage room, made worse by the ambience temperature of the unheated room, and he prays and prays for Baekhyun to be safe. It's not as though Yixing doesn't trust in Baekhyun's capabilities, even if he has never seen Baekhyun getting involved in a fight before – Yifan has high standards for everything, including his Secret Guards, and Baekhyun _must_ be extremely good to have qualified for the coveted position – but there's a limit to everyone's abilities. Hiding away in the storage room with absolutely no inkling about the condition in the main hall, Yixing can't even begin to guess the amount of soldiers Song Lin had despatched to capture him. 

He stops short of wondering how on earth Song Lin had found out that Yixing's hiding here at all, nevertheless. There are watchful eyes all around Chang'an, and they really should have been more careful with their movements. Then again, Yixing freezes when his mind unhelpfully reminds him that if Song Lin has discovered Yixing's whereabouts, then he might have already realised what Yifan is up to. Yixing doesn't continue on that thought. 

Yixing holds his breath when the fighting grows close to his hiding place, even if he knows it's a silly thought, even if he knows that the soldiers will not hear him through the rain. There are pained screams punctuating the sounds of the rainwater falling on tiles, but none of them belonging to Baekhyun, and for that Yixing is glad. He doesn't even care what his parents might think when they come home to blood stains on the floor – as long as they're both safe. He'll have the time to explain the situation to them later, when everything has been resolved. 

His desperate hopes are soon dashed though, when the door to his hiding place crashes open, and Baekhyun's drenched form is thrown back against the ground. Yixing's heart stops for a brief moment when he sees the blood gushing out of the wound in his left shoulder, and even though he can't see the expressions on Baekhyun's face, he doesn't doubt that Baekhyun is in a significant amount of pain, if the way he's hunched over as he slides backwards away from the slow-approaching soldiers is anything to go by. 

"Baekhyun–" Yixing calls out, only to be surprised yet again when Baekhyun forces himself off the ground, left arm hanging limply by his side while he raises his sword at the soldiers. 

"So, you _are_ hiding Zhang Yixing here after all." A man who appears to be the captain of the soldiers say, a revolting smirk on his face. "You could have saved yourself a whole lot of trouble, if you'd surrendered him from the very beginning, and we would have allowed you to escape unscathed. The Emperor would have been more than glad to reward you handsomely, too."

Baekhyun spits at the soldier's disgusting words. "Like hell I would bow down to a man who ascended the throne through underhanded tactics. I answer to no other Emperor but Emperor Wu." He hisses, standing defensively between the guards and Yixing. "You want to lay your hands on Consort Zhang? _Over my dead body_!" 

The soldiers are more than delighted to be able to dispose of Baekhyun, it seems, and they lunge for him at the same time. Yixing makes up his mind soon enough, and in a split second's decision, he scrambles to his feet, running forward and pulls Baekhyun behind him. 

As he had initially suspected, the soldiers come to a halting stop when they realise that Yixing has suddenly entered the trajectory of their weapons, and the tip of a sword stops dangerously close to the level of his heart. He knows Song Lin; if Song Lin has discovered Yixing's whereabouts, and if he knows that Yifan might potentially bring an army forth to wrest the throne back, then he would need a bargaining point, one which will force Yifan to surrender unconditionally. And that bargaining piece is _Yixing_ , whom Song Lin had probably ordered for him to be brought back alive. If Yixing is harmed in any way, Yifan would definitely see red and attack regardless, and that will not bode well for Song Lin in the end. 

"Your Highness," Baekhyun hisses, interrupting his thoughts. "What are you _doing_?" 

Yixing ponders over his next course of action. Even though he knows that Yifan _will_ be angry with him if he allowed himself to be captured this easily, especially when Yifan had told him time and again to _please, stay safe until we return for you_ , Yixing doesn't think he can bear watching Baekhyun dying _because_ of him. He will never be able to let himself live it down for the rest of his life. Besides, he trusts that Yifan and Luhan will think of a way to get him out of captivity, eventually. He trusts them with his life. 

So Yixing turns around to regard Baekhyun with a soft smile. "I cannot possibly sacrifice you to keep myself safe, Baekhyun. Forgive me." 

He ignores the string of protests coming from Baekhyun as he takes another step forward, smiling satisfactorily when the soldier whose sword had been closest to Yixing takes a large step back, pulling his weapon out of harm's way. "You came here in order to capture me, did you not? I have one simple request–" Yixing says again, before fishing a dagger out of his robes and pressing it against his own neck, right above the pulsation of his blood vessel. He takes note of the way the soldiers are frozen in their positions, and decides that his postulation was right. Yixing wasn''t to be harmed at any cost. "–let Baekhyun go, and I will quietly come with you. And if you lay another hand on him, then I will slash myself to death." 

The captain of the soldiers seemed conflicted for a very long moment, before he heaves a defeated sigh and bows his head in acquiescence. "You have my word. We will not lay a finger on him, nor will we hunt him down after this." 

Playing safe, however, Yixing keeps the dagger pressed against his own neck as he walks out of the door, turning around to confirm that the soldiers are indeed following after him and not sneaking back to eliminate Baekhyun for good, and when he's satisfied with what he sees, Yixing continues on his journey, but not after exchanging a silent look with Baekhyun.

 _Find Yifan_ , he mouths to Baekhyun, and knows that his guard has gotten the message when he immediately takes his leave.

He can't possibly forget the way blood red petals bloom in the puddles of rainwater collected on the ground as Baekhyun dashes past them and out of the house.


	43. Chapter 43

It feels rather odd to set foot in the Forbidden City once again, when Yixing knows that the landscape of the ruling regime has changed drastically over the last couple of days. Every familiar face in the palace – the ones who are outspoken loyalists of Yifan's, anyway – have been replaced by unfamiliar ones, and their piercing gaze on him is unsettling as he walks past them.

Yixing isn't surprised by the amount of stares he's getting, though. Not when he _still_ has a dagger pressed against his own neck, while a group of soldiers are lingering ways behind him, almost afraid of getting much too close to Yixing for fear that he would slit his own throat if they did. Undoubtedly, they're adhering to Song Lin's royal orders to not harm Yixing's life, and Yixing wonders to what extent he'll be able to strike up a bargain with Song Lin. He will have to come up with another plan after taking the next step, and he really, _really_ hopes that both Yifan and Luhan will understand what he's trying to do. Of course, Song Lin doesn't have to know that Luhan is extremely capable at fighting; it's another trump card up their sleeves, as far as Yixing is concerned.

He tries to fight against the tightness in his chest, however. Being in the cold for so long, even when he's pulled on the thickest coat he has, is slowly taking a toll on his body, never mind that he hasn't fully recovered from his latest bout of illness. But he knows that if he stops suppressing the itch to cough, then Song Lin will find out about the gravity of his situation, and will probably dispose of Yixing even faster. It's really the last thing Yixing needs at this moment, and he wills his body to withstand the stress, praying for it to last until Yifan and Luhan can make their way back to the Forbidden City.

Song Lin is in the Grand Hall presiding over yet another Inner Court session when Yixing marches in, and several surprised gasps erupt around Yixing when the ministers finally recognise him, before taking another step back when they see the dagger pressed against his neck. A smug smile finds its way to his lips when Yixing comes to a stop before Song Lin, daring him to make a drastic move.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Song Lin practically roars when the realisation finally sets in, his face red from anger. There's just something wrong with seeing Song Lin dressed in the Emperor's golden robes with the motifs of dragons embroidered upon it, because in Yixing's mind, Yifan is the only Emperor he has ever come to know and acknowledge. Having the knowledge that Yifan is still alive somewhere makes it even more difficult for Yixing to wrap his mind around the matter, even though he _knows_ that Song Lin had tried to stage a _coup d'état_ and had failed, that this is a part of his contingency plan to ensure that Yifan doesn't return. Yixing is clever enough to keep his mouth shut about Yifan's whereabouts though, wondering who else in this room has taken part in Song Lin's nefarious plans, and which of them are truly innocent enough with no choice but to bow down to the new Emperor who had put himself on the Dragon Throne. At this point of time, Yixing can never be sure if the other ministers are more than ready to kill him in a split second decision, without first consulting Song Lin.

They have _everything_ to hide. 

As expected, though, the captain of the soldiers is much too afraid of Song Lin's wrath to even speak up and to explain himself for the current situation. He's supposed to have Yixing under captive, Yixing's sure, and shouldn't be allowing Yixing to threaten them in such a manner. Unfortunately for them, Yixing has every intention to stay alive until Yifan and Luhan return to the Forbidden City. He isn't known as a strong-willed person for nothing, as evidenced by his determination to sit for the Imperial Examinations until he could achieve a ranking high enough to put him in the governing body, before Yifan had Yixing marry him and instated him as Yifan's Consort. There is no way in hell Yixing will let them dictate his actions.

"Are you sure you would like me to speak when the Inner Court is in full attendance, _Your Majesty_?" Yixing raises his voice and making sure to inject as much condescension in the way he utters the royal title, smiling serenely at Song Lin whose face is turning from red to purple from lividness. "I am not so sure everyone would appreciate what they would be hearing." 

Even from the distance, Yixing can see the way Song Lin's hands are shaking, the conflict almost clear on his face as he tries to arrive at a decision. Yixing isn't usually one who would undermine the ruling monarch's authority, but he can't stop himself from doing so towards Song Lin. Song Lin did, after all, make their lives miserable from the get-go, and had even tried to assassinate Yifan and Yixing when they'd least expected it. This is only but a small payback.

In the end, Song Lin waves his sleeve at the rest of the room, barking out his orders with a hard voice. "The Inner Court proceedings is dismissed for the day! Leave, all of you!" 

A low murmur of discussion soon fills the Grand Hall as the ministers wonder to themselves what exactly Yixing is holding against Song Lin to warrant a private meeting, a dagger at his own throat no less, and why Song Lin hadn't asked for the guards to take Yixing down when he's significantly outnumbered and outskilled. It will all remain as mere speculation, though, when the heavy mahogany doors finally slam shut behind them, the sound echoing in the vast space of the Grand Hall. 

Even then, Yixing doesn't put his hand down; he won't, unless they manage to come to a consensus. Yixing forces himself to smirk, the expression almost foreign on his face, but he has to keep up a front. This will probably make or break his next course of action, and the situation is much too precarious for Yixing to screw up. He's determined not to, either.

"Shall we have a talk?" 

 

\--

 

"Get a medic! _Now!_ " 

Luhan has never been gladder to bundle into the army camp which has been set up by the generals to receive both him and Yifan, especially when he has a hand pressed firmly against Jongin's bleeding side, where the broken stump of an arrow is sticking out awkwardly from his skin. The cloth Yifan had wrapped around the base of the arrow has been soaked through with Jongin's blood, and Luhan's stomach twists sickeningly at the sight.

They had initially thought they were finally able to escape from the band of assassins who had ambushed them close to the woods, with Han Geng staying behind to hold them back for as long as he possibly can. Even then, Jongin had still pushed the horses to their limits, making them run as fast as they could in the pouring rain, because there was a possibility that Han Geng might fail in his bid to defeat them. He _was_ grossly outnumbered, after all, and they really couldn't take any chances.

Luhan was just beginning to relax in his seat once they've gotten far enough from the location where they had been ambushed, when the carriage had suddenly swerved to the side, accompanied by a loud, pained hiss coming from the direction of the driver's seat. Instantly Luhan was at the window, only to have Jongin barking at him to _get back inside and keep your heads down, there are archers!_

Luhan remembers being absolutely horrified when he realised that Jongin had gotten shot in his side, and the arrow had drawn a significant amount of blood. Both him and Yifan had wanted to help stem the flow of blood, pull the arrow out – _anything_ at all – but Jongin had yelled at them to stop being a distraction, telling them that he was _fine_ , even when his body had been twisted in an odd angle to ease the pressure on his injured side. Chewing on his lip, Luhan had to force himself to stay down with Yifan's help, even as his heart ached for his loyal guard, hoping fervently that they'll all make it through this ordeal alive. The rain of arrows hadn't stopped for a good ten minutes after the initial one had been shot, more than half of them finding purchase on the wooden cabin of the carriage, forcing Luhan and Yifan to be huddled as close together as they can possibly manage, trying hard not to stay too close to the walls of the carriage for fear that the blind arrows would find another target. One injured person is already a handful to deal with. Jongin's only lucky to not be hit again. 

Jongin had practically collapsed on the seat the moment they had arrived at the edge of the camp, and Yifan had surprised Luhan when he carried the unconscious boy on his back, and ran the rest of the way to the camp even though the threat of being ambushed by more archers still hung above their heads. Luhan, feeling almost helpless from panic, could only run after his husband, lingering close enough to catch Jongin if ever the boy slipped from Yifan's back. 

Thankfully, the soldiers are quick to jump into action, relieving Yifan of the dead weight on his back the moment they realise that their _Emperor_ is carrying an unconscious person while struggling not to slip and fall on the damp grass, and Jongin's immediately brought into a separate camp where Luhan _hopes_ a healer is already on standby. 

"Your Majesty! Are you alright?!" A loud commotion comes from the direction of the main camp just then, shocking Luhan out of his daze, and the last of the weight in his chest finally lifts when he recognises Jung Yunho among the group of people who have rushed out to greet them. It almost feels surreal, to have survived several attempts at their lives to get here. 

"I am fine," Yifan says from beside him, fingers firm around Luhan's wrist when he realises it next. "The blood on my clothes does not belong to me." 

"Did Song Lin do this?" Another elder general which Luhan doesn't recognise – he rarely ever interacted with the military personnel under Yifan's rule, apart from the Jung family – asks with renewed urgency, and Luhan presses his lips into a thin, grim line. 

"It is very likely. He remains our prime suspect for now, considering what he has done to remove His Majesty from the throne." Luhan speaks up when he finally manages to keep himself together. His mind is still whirring from Jongin's injury, fervently hoping that his guard, his friend – his _younger brother_ – will be safe, but still Luhan knows they have a grave situation in their hands, and he has to redirect his attention elsewhere for now. They simply can't afford to get distracted right now, otherwise all the injuries they have sustained for Yifan and Luhan's sake will be for naught. 

"There is no saying if Song Lin has managed to discover what we are up to." Yifan interjects, holding his subjects' gazes authoritatively. "Come, we must convene urgently. There is absolutely no time to lose." 

 

\--

 

Yifan is glad that at least _something_ is going right that day, when he steps into main tent and finds that Junmyeon, Jongdae, and Sungmin are already there and relatively unscathed. Junmyeon and Jongdae are quick to rise to their feet, fussing over Yifan for a brief moment before Yifan asks them all to take a seat. No one protests against his orders. 

"I am sure Sungmin and Han Geng have briefed all of you regarding the current situation, and what Song Lin has done thus far." Yifan speaks up once everyone has settled in. There are several nods around the room, but no one says anything else. "I do not have concrete evidence as of yet, but contrary to what Song Lin has proclaimed in his decree, I did not poison my own mother. In fact, I was concealing her state of health because I knew they were waiting for her eventual death to strike. By then, the Imperial Healer had informed that the Empress Dowager's condition was already incurable."

"We trust in you, Your Majesty." General Choi Siwon, the general with arguably the greatest fleet in China, tells him. "It is ridiculous for him to have pinned the crime of the Empress Dowager's death by poisoning on Your Majesty; we all know how much you respected Her Highness." 

Yifan swallows guiltily at that; he hadn't been the most respectful son ever since he'd married Luhan and Yixing and had gotten into more arguments than he would have otherwise liked with his mother. Then again, his mother had never once displayed the desire to get to know Luhan and Yixing better, and had judged them based on her preformed opinions. 

"What do you propose we do, then, General Choi?" Luhan asks just then. He squeezes Yifan's hand lightly beneath the table, as though knowing what's going on in Yifan's mind, and Yifan is eternally grateful for the gesture. It's reassuring. "I believe that all of you, as veterans in war and masters in strategy planning, will have brilliant ideas to help Yifan recapture the Dragon Throne." 

That's when Siwon snaps his fingers, and another soldier brings forth a large map of the area surrounding Chang'an. Both Yifan and Luhan slide forward just a little more to take a closer look at the map. "We are currently located here–" General Choi presses his index finger on the border between Chang'an and Luoyang, before sliding it across the map to where the Forbidden City is, "–and this is the most direct route we have to enter the Forbidden City. However, we can expect that Song Lin will have a good portion of his men stationed there."

"We have sent several reconnaissance soldiers to scout the parameters here, here, and here." Yunho points out several more locations which are to the north, west, and south of the Forbidden City, and Yifan begins to see the rationale behind their decision. They're intending to split the manpower of their battalions into four, in order to surround the Forbidden City from all directions. Song Lin would be caught unprepared, if he's banking on them to attack from the East Gate. "So far, there are little to no military activity at these locations on Song Lin's side." 

"The size of Song Lin's army would definitely be small, considering that only two generals have defected to his side." Junmyeon points out, and murmurs of agreement follow.

Jongdae takes the opportunity to chip in his opinions, leaning close to Junmyeon's side without making their relationship seem too obvious to the others. It is, after all, rather crowded in the tent where they're currently congregated in, especially when the rest of the soldiers are giving a wide berth to Yifan and Luhan, not wanting to crowd around the royals. "It is also important to note that these two generals command the smallest battalions in the country, and consists of those who are supposed to guard the borders of Chang'an. They have never truly experienced large-scale skirmishes before, so the advantage still lies on our side." 

"How accurate are these information, General Jung?" Yifan wonders, not because he doesn't trust in his generals, but because the situation is rapidly changing all the time. Just the day before, they hadn't quite expected for Song Lin and his men to catch up on their intentions so soon, but evidently they've thought wrong. It's a fatal mistake indeed, which sees Han Geng fighting for his life, his fate as of yet unknown, while Jongin has been severely wounded in the process. Yifan can see the worry in Luhan's eyes, almost unfocused even though he's looking directly at the map. He wants to excuse Luhan from the meeting and force him to rest in the tent which has been prepared for them, but Yifan also knows how stubborn Luhan can get; he'd definitely refuse the offer. 

Thankfully, Yunho manages to catch on to Yifan's intended meaning. "To the hour, Your Majesty. The reconnaissance personnel are attempting to send messenger doves in as frequently as they can, but the rain is hampering our efforts." He informs, and Yifan chews on his bottom lip as he tries to decide on their next course of action. 

"That will be futile, gentlemen," a new voice joins them just then, decidedly very _female_ , and Yifan's gaze snaps up towards the entrance of the tent, as do the others in the room with him. His eyes practically go wide when the woman, who has several soldiers with their swords drawn behind her, lowers her hood and smiles at Yifan. 

What in god's name is happening here? 

"Song Qian?!" He splutters in confusion. "What are you doing out here? It's not safe– Damn it, men, put your weapons _down_." 

Siwon's the first to raise an objection. "Your Majesty, she is the daughter of the traitor who had usurped the throne. We cannot possibly let our guard down." 

Yifan frowns; it might be true that Song Qian is related to Song Lin by blood, but she had also warned him about the upcoming attempt on his life once the Empress Dowager was dead. Instinct tells him that he can trust in Song Qian. He barks another order for them to lower their swords, and the soldiers appear torn at the order for a brief moment before complying. "Qian, what are you doing here?" He asks again when Song Qian doesn't offer him an answer. "You are _pregnant_! You might lose the child from making the journey!" 

"And yet here I am, because I believe that your life is more important in the long run. A child cannot _be_ if it did not have parents to conceive it, and if I lose this child while trying to warn you about my father's plans, then so be it." Song Qian tells him, the determination burning in her beautiful brown eyes. "Take it as my atonement, for having become an unwilling accomplice to my father's evil deeds." 

There's a tense moment of silence which stretches on between them, before Luhan sighs and steps forth. "I believe in Lady Song. If there is one person who can differentiate what is right and what is wrong, it's her." 

"I hold the same thoughts." Junmyeon joins in, smiling softly back at Song Qian who flashes him a grateful smile. "She had been the one to warn His Majesty that someone would make a move on His Majesty's life once the Empress Dowager dies. Is that not enough proof of her loyalty?" 

"You knew?" Song Qian reels around and gapes at Yifan in surprise, and Yifan merely nods. 

"It would be impossible for me to not recognise your handwriting, Qian. We have grown up and attended school together for many years." Yifan says, and he can see the way Song Qian's lips tremble at his words. There is no time for sentimentality, however. "Pray tell, Qian. What did you mean when you told us that our plans would be futile?" 

Gaining courage from both Yifan and Luhan's backing, Song Qian walks towards the table where the map has been laid out, and the soldiers back off to give her space. It seems odd, to have a woman in the midst of an army camp, a pregnant one no less, but Yifan also feels glad all the same; at least he knows they're all in the same cause together. 

"My father has sealed off these gates–" Song Qian indicates towards the other three side gates, where they had initially planned on forcing their way into the Forbidden City from. "–and he has laid lethal explosive devices beneath ground, aiming to trap and kill anyone who dares force entry." 

There are collective gasps in the room, evidently not having predicted that Song Lin would pull off such a move. It's also a good thing that Song Qian had arrived in time to warn them about Song Lin's plans, or they might have just dug their own graves. It didn't matter that Yifan had been planning on joining the group which was going to attack from the South Gate. 

"So you're saying that we have no choice but to face them head on at the East Gate, M'lady?" Yunho ask, seemingly troubled. Yifan echoes his concerns, because having to attack Song Lin's army where they're expecting them to come from is every bit as dangerous as going through the other gates. Song Lin's army holds the element of surprise here, and Yifan's army would be caught unawares by their plans. This is troubling. 

"Actually–" Sungmin speaks up just then, earning everyone's attention. He's currently leaning against the side of the tent with his arms crossed in front of his chest, expressions thoughtful. "–there is another smaller gate which will usually be bolted shut, located in the southwest direction. Not many people know of the gate, since it is hidden away from the usual traffic." 

Now that Sungmin has mentioned it, Yifan vaguely remembers having utilised that gate before. Luhan's eyes are bright as he searches the map, before jabbing his finger at the exact same spot Yifan had been looking at. 

That's right, they'd both sneaked out of the palace once, just to have some alone time away from the decorum and the rules that govern the Forbidden City, using that lesser known passageway. 

"It's this gate, isn't it? The one that will lead us directly to the archives, and towards Yifan's chambers after." Luhan comments, and Sungmin nods in confirmation. If the rest of the generals are scandalised by the easy manner by which Luhan is utilising Yifan's birth name in the presence of others, they don't show it. 

"Can we get it to open from the outside?" Yifan asks, genuinely interested in finding out. All the times he's used the minor gate, Kyungsoo had been the one to open it up for him and Zitao, and by the time he returns from his temporary escapade to the commoner world, the palace denizens would have discovered that he was gone, and he wouldn't have the need to go through the same gate again, using the East Gate to re-enter the palace instead. 

There's a wan smile on Sungmin's lips when he meets Yifan's gaze, and Yifan can sort of guess what Sungmin will say next. Frankly, Yifan doesn't think he'll like it at all, especially when it would mean Sungmin has to put himself through dangerous situations that might potentially threaten his life. Even if Sungmin has full understanding of what he's about to do, even if he had expected to put his life on the line for Yifan's sake from the very moment he had agreed to be a part of Yifan's Secret Guard, Yifan still isn't comfortable with the idea of having people die for him. 

"I will come up with a plan soon enough and inform you, Your Majesty." There is conviction in Sungmin's voice, though, and it's with such assurance that Yifan makes the final decision for them. 

"Good. Rest up, gentlemen. We will attack the Forbidden City by nightfall, when they least expect us."

No one objects. 

 

\--

 

"Han, love, stop. You're thinking too much." 

Yifan makes a grab for Luhan's wrist when they enter their designated tent, having felt how distant Luhan had been while they were having their strategic meeting earlier, and pulls Luhan into his embrace. In his eyes, Luhan has always been an extremely confident person, always so sure of himself, always assertive of what he wants. But today, today Luhan's attention span had been more out than in, and it worries Yifan gravely. Granted, he knows what Luhan is worrying about, but they really can't afford to be distracted right now. 

Luhan offers no resistance, and instead curls the tips of his fingers into Yifan's robes and buries his face in Yifan's broad chest. 

"It's my fault." Luhan croaks brokenly, and Yifan's heart aches with him. "If only I had insisted for Jongin to escort Junmyeon and Jongdae, this wouldn't have happened to him." 

"And you think your objection would have mattered, how?" Yifan asks in the gentlest voice he can manage. "You know he will find a way to get back to you after successfully escorting Junmyeon and Jongdae to the camp, and he would have been injured regardless." 

Even though he has never really interacted with Jongin before, Yifan can see the way Jongin looks at Luhan when he thinks no one else is watching him. Jongin _loves_ Luhan, and would not hesitate to throw himself between Luhan and their enemies if he had to, as long as he is able to protect Luhan; Yifan can guess as much. Sacrifice entails love, no matter how great its magnitude, and in Jongin's case, Yifan doesn't doubt that he will not regret having to sacrifice his life for Luhan's sake. 

"I _know_!" Luhan half-yells into the fabric of Yifan's robes, his voice coming out muffled. Just as well; Yifan doesn't want his subjects to misunderstand that they're having an argument, when Luhan's merely expressing his frustrations. "Do you think I don't know that?! I should have had him leave the moment I married you and decided that I wouldn't pursue what my father had wanted of me! I should not have kept him by my side and chained him down, because I was selfish enough to not want him to leave!" 

Luhan's struggling in his grasp by now, possibly wanting to hit himself for everything he thinks he's done to Jongin, but Yifan only holds on tighter, pressing pacifying kisses into Luhan's hair. "Luhan, _listen_ to me. It's not your fault. He _will_ stay if he wants to; you know very well that he is a very stubborn man. Do you think he will be happy if he finds out that you have been beating yourself up for his injury? I'm sure he will want you to stay safe, no matter what, so you can't possibly get distracted now."

At the very least, his words seem to have pacified Luhan a little, and Luhan stops trying to pry himself out of Yifan's grip, opting instead to dig his fingers into Yifan's waist, keeping himself anchored out of desperation. He's still sobbing into Yifan's robes, though, saying, "I just want him to be okay," over and over again.

A loud voice coming from outside the tent startles them moments later, though, and Yifan turns around just in time to see Baekhyun barging into their tent, despite frantic calls from the other soldiers to _please, wait a moment!_. This time, both Yifan and Luhan have to cling to each other for support when they notice the trail of blood running down Baekhyun's left arm, and the distinct absence of _Yixing_ from Baekhyun's side. 

"Your Majesty, forgive this humble servant for his terrible blunder. They–" Baekhyun swallows, digging the scabbard of his sword into the floor of the tent in order to keep himself upright. His lips are pale, his face even more so, and Yifan wonders just how much blood he's lost on his way here from Yixing's residence. "–they have captured Consort Zhang."

Yifan's stomach rightfully sinks.

 

\--

 

The Forbidden City no longer feels like _home_ to Yixing, even though he was already beginning to settle in before the Empress Dowager's untimely death, not when he has several guards keeping their hawk-like eyes on him all the time. Even if Yixing has been permitted to occupy his previous chambers by Song Lin – only by virtue that he wants to keep Yixing in prime condition to _welcome_ Yifan back before Song Lin killed Yixing – it has now turned into a literal prison for him, considering the fact that he can't even step out of these four walls to get a breath of fresh air. 

Song Lin hadn't taken to Yixing's threats very kindly, when Yixing had marched right into an Inner Court proceeding with a dagger against his throat and a challenging smirk on his lips. Song Lin evidently doesn't like it when someone tries to take control of his actions, especially when he already has a plan in place. While Yixing isn't exactly comfortable with the idea of threatening someone else into listening to him, he hasn't a choice. It was either he allowed Baekhyun to be killed _then_ get captured by the soldiers, or he could give himself up in exchange for Baekhyun's life, so that Baekhyun could go alert Yifan. He had chosen the latter without giving it a second thought, because he knows Yifan would be furious if he knows that Yixing has been captured, either way. He could deal with Yifan reprimanding him when all this is over. 

Besides, Luhan had told him this once – _you have to be cunning in order to survive in the palace_. And Yixing is hell-bent on surviving this ordeal. He's just beginning to grow a little more intimate with Yifan, and a lot closer to Luhan; he's selfish enough to want to have a taste of a life with them, with the complications out of the way. 

Then again, there is one oddity in the room with him at the moment, and Yixing frowns again as he casts a look at the figure who's huddled in the corner. He's almost tempted to walk across the room and cut the man free of the restraints binding his wrists together, but Yixing would rather not tempt fate and potentially anger the guards in the room with them. He still has a sense of self-preservation, at least. 

"Are you ever going to talk to me, Zitao?" Yixing prompts, though he isn't surprised when the other man doesn't respond to him. Yixing's not lost on the fact that Zitao dislikes him – loathes his existence, perhaps – but he can always try. He can't really discuss about possible strategies to escape with Zitao, seeing that they're being watched extremely closely, but they can at least humour themselves in the meantime. 

Zitao, who had been resting his forehead against his knees, glances up at Yixing briefly from beneath his lashes, his piercing gaze menacing in every way, and then returns to his original position. Just when Yixing's about to think that Zitao is going to ignore him yet again – Zitao _had_ told him that at least he could have walked around freely in his prison cell without being tied down, on the day he had been brought here to Yixing's chambers under Yixing's request to Song Lin, and had been quite pissed at Yixing – he actually speaks up. 

"Are you not angry at me?" 

Yixing frowns. Even though he knows Zitao doesn't enjoy being around him, he can't think of a possible reason why he should be mad at Yifan's guard. "Should I be? You have not offended me in any way." 

"You _should_ be. All of you." Zitao says again, and Yixing actually thinks he sounds _guilty_. Before he could even ask why, though, Zitao has already explained himself for his cryptic words. "I was the one who had exposed Consort Lu's identity to the Empress Dowager, you know. I was the one who had caused him to be exiled from the palace." 

At this, Yixing inhales sharply, not having expected it at all. In the short period of time Yixing has been here in the Forbidden City, and back when Yifan had pretended to be a lowly noble roaming the streets of Chang'an, Yixing can see that Zitao is fiercely loyal towards Yifan, almost to a frightening extent, even. He can't fathom why Zitao would have done something like this, especially when Zitao _knows_ how much Yifan loves Luhan, and had seemed rather fond of Luhan, too. 

"I will not ask for your reason." Yixing states simply, because it isn't his business to meddle with. "Does Yifan know?" 

A hesitant nod, before it trails off into a shrug. "I do not know, Your Highness. His Majesty has not said a word."

"Then confess when Yifan returns, and tell him why you had to do it." Yixing says. "It takes great courage to admit to something like that. Perhaps Yifan might consider punishing you lightly."

"Yes, but Consort Lu–"

Yixing takes a long moment to consider. Luhan has a rather volatile temper, after all, and he might not take it too kindly when he finds out about Zitao's betrayal, especially when they seem to be good friends from before. Instead, he chooses the safest thing he could say. "–he will probably kill you, but it is up to you to convince him of your reasoning." 

"That isn't at all comforting, Your Highness." Despite the gravity of the situation, Zitao actually snorts at Yixing's words. At least the mood is lighter now, and Yixing can finally think with the tension out of the way. 

And, if he's lucky enough, he might just be able to recruit Zitao to help.

 

\--

 

"You imbeciles!" Song Lin roars, before sitting himself in the chair out of a fit of anger. At least his useless servants have the decency to look remorseful at his outburst, but it doesn't douse the rage in him at all. "Can you not do _anything_ right at all?!"

Beginning that morning, everything had been in a complete mess. Song Lin had been in the middle of racking his brains for possible solutions, having been told by one of the ministers that the citizens are growing unhappy once again at the delay in providing aid, this time to alleviate the floods in the southern provinces. That was before Zhang Yixing had marched into the Grand Hall while Court was in progress, with a _dagger_ pressed against his throat. His actions had brought upon an uproar amongst the other ministers, especially considering the fact that Song Lin had informed them that Zhang Yixing had escaped with Wu Yifan. 

Besides, Zhang Yixing was supposed to be _captured_ and thrown into jail, but the soldiers which Song Lin had sent after them were trailing behind Zhang Yixing instead with their heads bowed low, too afraid to meet Song Lin's furious gaze. Song Lin had no choice but to comply with Zhang Yixing's set of rules, either; the man had been smart enough to figure out that Song Lin needed him alive to be able to threaten Wu Yifan into listening to him, and had pressured Song Lin to agree to his terms. Of course, Song Lin could kill Zhang Yixing any time he pleases, but he'd rather watch the agony on Wu Yifan's face as he tortured one of his favourite consorts right before him. 

"You!" He points at the captain of the soldiers, and the man cowers again in the face of Song Lin's wrath. "You let his _guard_ escape?! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to track down a Secret Guard of the previous Emperor?!" 

The man had no excuses for Song Lin, merely continuing to apologise profusely while pressing his body close to the ground in submission. Satisfied, Song Lin turns on the leader of the assassins he'd sent after Yifan and Luhan. _This blunder_ ; this he could not forgive. 

"And you! I gave you one simple task! You outnumbered Wu Yifan's group by a large margin, and you couldn't even stop them from meeting the generals?" 

"I apologise, Your Majesty, but his Secret Guard was impossible to fight with. By the time I had arrived at the scene, all I saw were dead bodies of my comrades, and his guard was nowhere in sight–"

" _Enough!_ " Song Lin roars again. He can feel an immense headache coming on, and he slumps back against his seat. "End yourself." 

The leader of the assassins seems shell-shocked at the sudden order. "I beg your pardon?" 

"I said to end yourself. Unless you'd like me to get an executioner in your stead? You have _failed_ me multiple times, and I do not appreciate being let down repeatedly." Song Lin breathes, and he sounds extraordinarily calm to his ears, despite the agitation he actually feels deep within. At least the man doesn't fail him this time, drawing a dagger out of his robes before slicing it cleanly across his own neck, and falling onto the ground in a bloodied heap. 

Song Lin closes his eyes as his servants rush to remove the now-lifeless body out of his sight, though a new decision is made moments later.

"Prepare my armour. We are going to war."

 

\--

 

The rain finally stops in the evening, which Yifan is eternally grateful for. He's fond of the rain, that much is true, but having too much of it can get dreary in the end. Besides, Yifan isn't too keen on spending another minute out in the rain, when visibility is poor and they would need the clearest view they can get when they finally launch an attack on Song Lin and his men. The cold is already biting into his bones, even through the heavy iron armour he's currently wearing. 

They're currently several miles shy of the city walls of Chang'an, lying patiently in wait while the reconnaissance officers who are already in the city to dispatch the soldiers guarding the gates. It would not do to alert Song Lin so early on in their mission; the less time Song Lin gets to prepare himself for the counterattack, the better. After this gate, the path leading to the Southwest Gate of the Forbidden City would be clear, and soon, they'll be in it, charging towards Song Lin. 

Luhan, who's on a white horse beside Yifan, reaches over to hold his hand in silent encouragement. Yifan flashes a tight smile at his lover, seeing the expression mirrored on Luhan's face. Ever since Baekhyun had barged into their tent and announcing that Yixing had been captured, there's a sickening feeling that never seems to dissipate, sitting low in the pit of his stomach. He's sure Luhan feels the same, if the way Luhan had jolted awake while calling out for Yixing earlier is any indication of it. At least, Luhan's no longer fidgeting or on the edge right now, a large contrast from how he'd been when Jongin had been injured earlier. The medics had cleared Jongin of any solid organ injury, and mentioned that he merely had a bad wound from the impact of the arrow when it had been embedded in Jongin's skin, and Luhan had been relieved to learn that Jongin's life isn't in imminent danger. 

All he sees in Luhan's eyes right now is a fiery determination, and it in turn fuels Yifan's confidence. They _will_ get through this together. 

Turning around in his mount, Yifan regards his brave soldiers. "Gentlemen, this is it. We shall proceed according to plan, if nothing else drastic crops up." Sungmin has already slipped into the shadows and is currently headed towards the Forbidden City, and Yifan hopes that his Guard will be successful. Sungmin had been incredibly angry when Han Geng had stumbled into the camp earlier that evening, bloodied and battered and on the verge of losing his consciousness, and had vowed to his fellow Secret Guard to exact revenge on his behalf.

The moment a messenger dove flies in and lands on Yunho's outstretched forearm, they're off. 

 

\--

 

The Forbidden City slips into a cacophonous mixture of clashing metal and blood-curdling screams that night, and the sounds can be heard from afar even as Yifan and Luhan slip in through the archives with Yunho and several of his best soldiers with them. 

They'd gone on separate ways as they had initially planned the moment they managed to get through the Southwest Gates undetected, with Siwon's army going around to the East Gates to engage Song Lin's troops. Several smaller armies belonging to Luhan's supporters have gone along with them, further reinforcing their battalion's power. Yifan can only hope they'd adhere to Yifan's sincere request to only kill when necessary, while trying to absorb the rest of Song Lin's army into their ranks and turn them against the man who had deceived the entire nation with his lies.

Kyungsoo joins them midway through, filling Yifan in on the latest turn of events in the palace to the best of his abilities. Yifan's relieved to hear that Yixing hasn't, in fact, been thrown into the underground dungeon with the rest of the more dangerous criminals; he wouldn't be able to last until Yifan gets there, considering how cold it is with absolutely no source of fire to keep him warm. Kyungsoo tells Yifan as well of Yixing's plot, having managed to get Song Lin to send Zitao to his chambers as company. Yifan stops short of worrying that Zitao might harm Yixing; no one else knows of his betrayal just yet, and he'd rather not agitate Luhan at a time like this. Luhan might immediately take off for Yixing's chambers to murder Zitao instead. 

"Godspeed," is all that Kyungsoo tells them before he slinks back into the shadows of the archives, having told him where Song Lin has positioned himself, and Yifan flashes him a grateful smile before they continue on their way.

The rest of the way leading to the Grand Hall is surprisingly silent, for someone who's already anticipating for an attack to come. But of course, Song Lin had decided to put up a last line of defence right in front of the Grand Hall, and an entire army of soldiers await them before the tightly sealed doors of the Grand Hall when Yifan's group arrives. 

Unsurprisingly, one of Song Lin's closest allies is there to lead the army, and he smirks when he catches Yifan's face amongst the crowd. "How valiant you are to have come here with so little men, Wu Yifan." The man, Youngmin, bellows across the distance, his voice ringing crisp and clear above the bated breaths of both groups.

Yifan scrunches his nose distastefully. "And how quick you are to abandon the title you have used for years on me, Youngmin. Did Song Lin really reward you so handsomely?" 

Luhan draws his sword the same time that Youngmin unsheathes his, prompting the rest of the soldiers to also do the same, entering an uncompromising battle stance. Youngmin barks out another derisive laugh, evidently downplaying Luhan's abilities at using the sword; Luhan has always carried himself as the quiet, submissive Imperial Consort in front of others, after all, and has never once shown his tendencies of aggression. Yifan knows better, as does Yunho. It's better this way. 

"My loyalties have always lied with Emperor Song." Youngmin snorts, and Yifan honestly isn't surprised. He's always followed after Song Lin like an obedient little puppy after all. With Song Lin's backing and obvious show of trust, Youngmin is merely going to abuse his newfound authority. "Give it up. Do you really think you can win when you are outnumbered like this?"

"Well," Luhan says, shrugging as he takes another step forward, fixing the soldiers in the front line with a particularly fierce gaze which makes them take a tentative step backwards. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"

Knowing that he will not be able to hold his men back, nor will he be able to convince these men who stand before him to give up before the fighting even begins, Yifan walks forth to stand beside Luhan, muttering to him in a low voice, "Be careful." 

With a firm nod from Luhan and a loud cry from Youngmin, both armies are already charging towards each other with their weapons drawn. Yifan hangs back, only because Luhan had sternly warned him against joining the clash, and he really doesn't want to be a distraction to his lover when the situation is this dangerous. 

Luhan is as graceful as ever in his movements, swinging his sword around in perfect arcs that finds the enemy with debilitating slashes across their chest and abdomen, enough to bring them to the ground but not enough to kill. It's more than adequate to keep them out of the fight, and Luhan seems more than delighted to leave them like this. Yunho's soldiers are doing a good job at felling their opponents as well, quickly thinning down the enemy's numbers. 

Throughout the fight, though, Yifan keeps his gaze fixed upon Youngmin, anticipating his former minister to make a move. His own hand is on the sword Luhan had taken care to furnish him with before they'd left the camp, something which is lighter than the ones he's used to carrying, and Yifan honestly prefers this. The moment Youngmin shifts in his step, Yifan is rushing towards the man, his own sword drawn as he avoids getting caught up in the fighting that's happening between his group of men and Youngmin's. Both Luhan and Yunho are quick to cover his back, aiming for anyone who's foolish enough to attempt to get close to Yifan. Yifan can always trust on them to watch his back, and this is perhaps the one thing that gives Yifan the advantage over Song Lin. With Song Lin, people merely rally their support behind him because of the power he promises them, but for Yifan, his friendships have been established over the years, built through unconditional trust. 

As expected, Youngmin is frozen in his position when he sees the young Emperor running towards him, and his knees practically buckle beneath his weight when Yifan gets close enough, begging Yifan for mercy. He doesn't have an ounce of training in terms of close-quarters battle, so Yifan doesn't understand why Song Lin even bothers putting this man in charge.

"Get your men to stand down and surrender, and I will spare your life." Yifan hisses, aiming the tip of his sword at Youngmin's chest where his heart is surely beating frantically against. Youngmin doesn't have to know that Yifan doesn't aim to kill. 

"Please, _Your Majesty_ , I did not want a hand in this! Song Lin made me!" Youngmin practically throws himself at Yifan's feet, which disgusts Yifan to no ends because he'd been haughty enough to denounce Yifan's position several minutes prior. Yifan doesn't say a thing, merely allows one of Yunho's soldiers to tie the remaining soldiers and Youngmin down.

Then he shares a look with Luhan and Yunho, before pushing past the heavy double doors to the Grand Hall and stepping into the almost-darkness.

Song Lin is there as Kyungsoo had said, seated on the Dragon Throne as though it's his rightful place, wearing the golden robes which seems almost too huge for him. Granted, it had been Yifan's up until several days ago, before Song Lin had forced him out of the Forbidden City with multiple assassination attempts and usurped the throne on the false accusation that Yifan had murdered his own mother. Yifan doesn't dare move another muscle, though, when he realises a second too late that _Yixing_ is there beside Song Lin, kneeling on the ground with his hands tied behind his back, and a sword hangs right above his neck, fully poised to behead Yixing at Song Lin's orders.

Yifan's stomach lurches again when he traces along the sword to the person who's wielding it, and he quite positively wants to hurl. That's when Luhan comes to a skidding stop right beside Yifan, his own blade already wiped clean of the blood it had drawn moments earlier, and an incredulous _Zitao?!_ escapes his throat, the syllables sounding strangled with disbelief. 

Zitao's gaze meets Yifan's and Luhan's for a moment, before the man averts it once again, the guilt and shame filling them. Yifan's livid when he spots the bruises marring Yixing's skin, as well as the split lip he's sporting, evidently having been punched and slapped for saying something out of line. Yixing's still surprisingly brave as he kneels on the ground, though, expressions serene as he glances at Yifan and Luhan. 

The sound of Song Lin clapping his hands in a mocking salute forcefully drags Yifan's gaze away from the pair who's still standing beside the Dragon Throne. "How nice of you to have joined our little party, Wu Yifan." He announces, as though not at all afraid that he's been cornered. Yifan has no doubt that Siwon's army is winning, so where the hell is Song Lin gaining his confidence from? The fact that Song Lin's wearing his armour doesn't escape Yifan, either, and Yifan vaguely remembers that Song Lin had some form of training in swordsmanship in the past. He used to be Yifan's father's sparring partner, after all, easy friendship built around countless hours of practice. 

Yifan wonders if his father is rolling in his grave at the blatant disrespect Song Lin is displaying right now. 

"You're a bold one, Song Lin, for ousting me from my throne in such an underhanded technique. Being a mere Prime Minister is no longer enough for you, is it?" Yifan asks, his grip on the hilt of his sword firm. 

"What are you possibly talking about, my dear boy?" Song Lin muses, his hand sliding to the belt at his waist where his sword is hanging from. "I merely helped the nation eliminate a cold-blooded murderer who couldn't even keep his hands away from assassinating his own mother." 

Yifan spits in utter disgust. "You fabricated these lies and tricked everyone else into believing that I was the murderer, and your lies only succeeded because I wasn't here to challenge you. Do you think I really have no idea that you were the one who plotted her murder?" 

Song Lin's smile falls just a little at the implication. "My traitorous daughter told you everything, did she? Well it doesn't matter, I will dispose of all of you so that the truth stays with me." He says, not at all affected that he's been exposed by Yifan in front of everyone else, then unsheathes his own sword. "Now, will you fight to death for the sake of your beloved Consort Zhang here with me?" 

"Yifan–" Luhan calls out in warning, his fingers wrapping around Yifan's wrist to stop him, but he immediately releases his hold when Yifan shakes his head. 

"This is my fight, Luhan. Stay out of it." He tells Luhan, whom smiles bravely at him and takes two steps back, a sure sign of his faith in Yifan. When Yifan moves to grip his weapon with both hands, he meets Yixing's gaze, noticing that Yixing is sporting the exact same expression as Luhan.

 _Stay safe_ , Yixing mouths, and Yifan is off, meeting Song Lin in the middle with a resounding clang of metal. For someone of his age, Song Lin's surprisingly strong, and his strength is reflected in the way the vibrations from their swords jolt up the ends of Yifan's fingers and into his bones. Then again, Yifan has the advantage of agility here, when he's wearing robes much lighter than Song Lin's beneath his armour, and he utilises it to his maximum ability as he swings his sword twice for each time Song Lin waves his around.

It's also a good thing that Yifan has had a lot of sparring practices with Han Geng in the Imperial Gardens, because Han Geng would almost never go easy on Yifan, dealing blow after blow without waiting for Yifan to regain his footing. Han Geng would only stop short of letting the sharp edge of his blade bite into Yifan's flesh most of the time. 

"Not bad," Song Lin huffs as he parries yet another one of Yifan's attacks, some minutes later into their fight. "I never knew you know how to fight."

Yifan resists the urge to roll his eyes, concentrating instead on looking for Song Lin's weak spot. He's hyperaware of Luhan's and Yixing's gazes trained on him, both waiting with bated breaths for the outcome of the battle, and he's determined not to let them down. "There are many things you do not know about me, Prime Minister Song." 

Song Lin barks out another laugh, and a pained yell is ripped out of Yifan's throat when the tip of Song Lin's sword makes a nick in the flesh of his thigh, drawing blood which stains is pale brown robes red. He vaguely hears Luhan calling out for him in alarm, but Yifan pushes that out of his mind, too. "You will be nothing more than a snotty-nosed brat who will never listen to the advices of those who are elder than you." 

Yifan's quick to roll out of the way before Song Lin can bring his sword down upon him, and quickly gets to his feet, ignoring the sharp pain that courses through his nerve endings. He can't afford to get distracted. "And _that_ –" he grits, swinging his sword forth before Song Lin can bring his weapon around to parry his attack. It makes a very satisfying connection with Song Lin's sword arm, and the man drops his weapon on the ground when he loses the strength in his arm from the pain. Yifan kicks at the man's chest, sending him sprawling onto the floor and leaving a smeared trail of blood on its tiles, before he limps forward and aims the tip of his sword at Song Lin's throat. "–is why you will never win, when you are much too arrogant to view the scenario in an objective manner." 

Song Lin merely grins at him in a feral manner, and before Yifan knows it, he's already barking out an order, calling not for Zitao but for another unfamiliar name to _do it, right now!_

Several things happen at the same time.

One; Yifan turns around in alarm just in time to see someone ambushing Luhan from behind, and another who hops off the awning directly above the Dragon Throne and heads directly for Yixing.

Two; Yifan finds his world toppling over its axis when his feet are suddenly swept from beneath him, causing him to land painfully on his back, and Song Lin's hovering above him with his sword level with Yifan's heart. 

Three; Sungmin, who'd infiltrated the Forbidden City long before Yifan's troops had attacked, appears directly behind Song Lin and drives his sword right into Song Lin's abdomen. 

Four; Zitao's pained yell as he fights against the assassin who was meant to take Yixing's life, having been stabbed right in the gut while trying to push Yixing out of harm's way, though his own blade finds its mark on the assassin's neck, leaving blood spurting out of the man's carotid.

And five; Luhan seems to have sensed that someone was creeping up on him from behind, and had turned the tip of his blade backwards, sliding it through the tiny crevice between his arm and the side of his body to pierce his attacker through his lung. 

Yifan only jolts back to reality when Song Lin collapses beside him, gurgling in his own pool of blood as he says, "This isn't happening–" 

He's still a little daze from the sequence of events, but Yifan accepts Sungmin's help in getting back to his feet, being careful not to place too much pressure on his injured thigh as he turns to regard Song Lin's prone form once again. The injury isn't fatal, that much Yifan is sure, but the pain should be debilitating enough to leave Song Lin lying on the ground for now. There's only a tiny hint of sympathy as he regards his fallen Prime Minister, and Yifan silently mourns for the loss of a brilliant man from his government.

"The ones who become far too ambitious for their own good will eventually meet a miserable end. My late father told me that, and it's a shame someone like you could not appreciate the wisdom of his words." Yifan says in a quiet voice, before leaving Sungmin to deal with the man. 

He's assaulted by two warm embraces just then, and Yifan blinks a little more in confusion before he realises that _both_ Luhan and Yixing have raced up to him and thrown their arms around his waist, hugging him tight. Yifan smiles a little through the pain, and wraps his arms around both their shoulders, pulling them close to him. 

"I thought we'd lost you." Luhan whispers, and Yifan can hear the anguish in his voice. "Don't you ever scare me like that again." 

"I won't. There will not be another incident like this." Yifan promises him, pressing a kiss to Luhan's sweat-matted hair and smiles against it.

That's when Yixing speaks up again, causing both Yifan and Luhan to pull away to look at him. "You came back for me. Both of you." His eyes are tearful, as though he can't believe that he's survived the ordeal, that he's standing here with both Yifan and Luhan with him.

Despite everything, a brilliant smile blooms on Luhan's face, and he's the first to pull Yixing in for a deep kiss, ignoring the looks from everyone else around them. "You had us terrified when Baekhyun told us you'd been captured."

"Both?" Yixing wonders, as though unable to believe his own ears, and Luhan nods firmly in confirmation.

"Both." Yifan says with conviction, in order to cement the fact that Yixing has been accepted by Luhan into the fold of their family, before pressing a kiss of his own to Yixing's bleeding lip.

He closes his eyes to savour the moment of bliss when both Luhan and Yixing lapse into delighted laughter, their faces buried in the warmth of Yifan's chest, and Yifan pulls them impossibly closer to him, thinking that everything had straightened out perfectly well in the end, that he'll finally able to rule over China on the Dragon Throne with Luhan and Yixing by his side, without facing any more objections after everyone else has witnessed what they're actually capable of. 

And he can't possibly be happier than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last (official) chapter of the fic, but don't worry, there's still an Epilogue coming up after this, and take my word when I say it's going to be full of smut. LOL.


	44. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated chapter ahead, please be warned!

"Thank you Prime Minister Kim for your precious input." Yifan smiles warmly at the man who's looking up at him, nodding in affirmation. "If there are no objections to our newest policy, then we shall dismiss for the day. Please, go on ahead and take your leave." 

Loud chants of _long live Your Majesty_ soon fill the Grand Hall, and Yifan only dares to exhale in relief for yet another fruitful Inner Court session once everyone has left the hall with smiles on their faces, all chatting excitedly about the new policy that will be implemented soon enough. Only one person remains in the hall with him, though, and Yifan narrows his eyes at his new Prime Minister. 

"What is it, Junmyeon? Is there something you'd like to say?" Yifan asks, eliciting a laugh from Junmyeon himself. 

"No, of course not, Yifan. It just feels a little odd for me to be standing here with the other ministers, when I'm already used to working with you behind closed doors." Junmyeon replies, light pink dusting his cheeks as he falls in step with Yifan, heading out of the Grand Hall while actively discussing about yet another matter regarding their beloved nation. 

Ever since Yifan had managed to wrest his throne back from Song Lin's hands, he'd gained the courage and made a grand overhaul of his government, weeding out the corrupt ministers from his Cabinet and replacing it with the ones he knows are capable enough of handling these vacated posts. Junmyeon was of course chosen as the Prime Minister, owing to his bold ideas and his intelligence at creating policies which are actually beneficial for the citizens in the long run. Jungsoo had been instated as the new Minister of Education, leaving the selection of the top Imperial Examination candidates in his hands, and Yifan can be certain that he will not favour those who are in power over those who are intellectual enough to actually be a part of Yifan's ruling regime. It's a move which has been hailed by the citizens, as well as Yixing who'd been unfairly robbed of his rightful position during his year. There are several other important positions which have been injected with young blood as well, and Yifan has never been happier with the way his government looks. 

At the very least, with the stringent checks in place to curb corruption, the other ministers who have been retained in Yifan's government dare not step out of line, and are actually working hard for the sake of their nation for once. It hadn't been an easy feat to convince his people about his innocence, especially considering the incriminating decree Song Lin had put up in all major towns accusing Yifan of the Empress Dowager's murder, but he's managed to do it in the end, by making Song Lin make an official announcement instead. 

Song Lin and his supporters, on the other hand, have received due punishment on several accounts of fabricating lies in order to frame Yifan for a crime he did not commit, as well as for usurping the throne from Yifan with underhanded methods. Song Lin, in particular, had been charged with the highest crime of treason, for having ordered for the assassination of the Empress Dowager and Yifan himself. In the beginning, there were calls for Song Lin to be executed without trial, considering the seriousness of his crimes, but Yifan had decided against taking his life in the end, considering the fact that he is still Song Qian's father and a loyal minister of his father's ruling regime. Instead, Yifan had sentenced him and the rest of his supporters who had been involved in the plotting of Yifan's assassination – thanks to information provided by Song Qian herself – to a life in the harsh borders of the nation, in order to aid the rebuilding of the towns which have been destroyed by the terrible floods in the beginning of autumn, and are banished for life from ever setting foot in Chang'an as well as the satellite cities around it. 

Judging by Song Qian's relieved smile as she looks at the ever-growing child in her womb, she thinks that the punishment is reasonable enough. 

Zitao, on the other hand, had confessed to his wrongdoings to Luhan on his own accord upon regaining consciousness from his injury, before Yifan even has the chance to prompt him to do so. _The Empress Dowager had threatened to harm my family if I ever went against her orders; I had no choice_ , Zitao had said with tears in his eyes, the remorse clearly reflected on his expressions. Even Yixing had stepped in to side Zitao, telling them that Zitao had helped him in his plans to deceive Song Lin into believing that Zitao was going to betray Yixing like he had Luhan, and only then did Song Lin allow Zitao to be cut away from his restraints.

Luhan had surprised everyone by slapping Zitao hard across the cheek, leaving a dark red handprint on his face, before pulling Zitao in for an embrace, calling him a 'gigantic idiot' and warning him to never get himself so seriously injured again or Luhan will kill him with his own hands instead for worrying the hell out of him. 

Sometimes, betrayals are difficult to accept, but friendship still wins over in the end.

Yifan's also thankful that his Secret Guards, Han Geng and Baekhyun are recuperating well, even though Han Geng's injuries has him sidelined for a longer period of time, and the man was beginning to complain about being bored to death because he'd been disallowed from going around on his own. He's still banned from overworking himself until he's completely healed, courtesy of Yifan. Baekhyun, on the other hand, jumped straight into duty the moment he can't feel the soreness in his shoulder, although wielding weapons still seem to be a minor problem for him. Of course, there's no cause for complaint on Baekhyun's side, not when he's spending most of his spare time being around Jongin, catching up on things they've missed out over the years. Luhan has expressed his approval, more than once, for Jongin to be with Baekhyun, to which Jongin had gone extremely red-faced and had spluttered uncharacteristically, but did not object against it.

Things are beginning to have a semblance of normalcy, at the very least, and Junmyeon knocks against his shoulder just then to gain his attention. Yifan grins guiltily down at him, hoping that he'll be forgiven for spacing out in the middle of their conversation, but the thin smile playing on Junmyeon's lips has Yifan backpedaling on their topic. 

In the end, when he can't seem to recall what exactly had triggered Junmyeon's pensive smile, Yifan finds himself blurting, "Is something the matter?" 

Junmyeon shrugs. "I'm merely worried about you. Yixing hasn't been feeling well as of late, has he? Is that why both Luhan and Yixing have been missing out on the Inner Court sessions so frequently?" 

Ah, _that_. Yifan had been deathly worried about Yixing's condition when he finally came clean about its severity – under Luhan's threat, of course – a day after Yifan had regained his throne, and Yifan had immediately ordered for Yixing to have complete bed rest, not wanting him to tire his body out more than he already had. Even then, Yifan had requested for the Imperial Healers to try their best to come up with a possible cure for Yixing's condition, to which they had thankfully managed to discover the right drug to address his lung condition eventually. Luhan, on the other hand, had taken upon the task of making sure Yixing doesn't forget to take his medications, which Yifan is eternally grateful for. He cares for Yixing, he really does, but clearing up the mess Song Lin had left behind needs more than a month to deal with, despite his very brief term as the Emperor of China. Luhan and Yixing can rejoin them on the Court later, when Yixing's feeling much better.

"He's better now; you don't have to worry much, Junmyeon." Yifan flashes the most convincing smile he can manage at Junmyeon, mainly because he knows how much of a worrywart Junmyeon can be. Yifan would rather not let the situation affect Junmyeon's concentration, when he already has so many other things to think about with his new responsibility. 

"If you're sure," Junmyeon says, eyeing Yifan a little sceptically, but he doesn't push the agenda. Yifan grins again when Junmyeon reaches over to squeeze his shoulder in encouragement. "Just let me know if you need any help, Yifan. You know Jongdae and I will always be available. Say 'hello' to them for me, as well as to Song Qian." 

"I will, thank you," he tells Junmyeon, and they finally part ways somewhere close to Yifan's chambers, where Yifan knows Junmyeon will head off to the archives in search of his lover, who's probably involved in an intense debate with Kyungsoo over some part of their nation's rich history, and Junmyeon will have some trouble trying to separate them as he always does.

He looks at Junmyeon fondly, before continuing on his way.

 

\--

 

There are soft, rather wet sounds coming from the sleeping area when Yifan steps into his chambers, causing Yifan to frown a little in confusion as he walks deeper into the belly of his room to investigate. He realises he's in for a surprise when he finds both his Consorts in his room, limbs tangled together as they make out languidly on _his_ bed, and the scene sends the blood rushing right down south. 

Even though Yifan has been with Luhan and Yixing respectively in the last couple of weeks, neither of his Consorts have openly expressed that they've been seeing each other without Yifan, and the conversation with Luhan in the carriage a while ago strikes him. _Would you be mad if I told you we've slept together?_ , Luhan had said, and their conversation had been rudely interrupted by the assassins who'd attacked their carriage. It slipped off his mind soon after with how busy he's been, but now Yifan's reminded of it once again with renewed vigor. 

Luhan's the first to notice Yifan lingering at the door, considering the fact that he's positioned himself to face the door, and instead of a guilty smile, he smirks up at Yifan instead, tongue darting out deliberately to lick a stripe up Yixing's sensitive neck, earning him a full-body shudder. "Hello, Yifan," he greets just then, causing Yixing to gasp in alarm. Luhan's quick to hold Yixing down, though, preventing him from struggling out of his hold, and judging by how flushed Yixing is right now, they've been making out for quite a while. "Are you finally done with your meetings for the day?" 

Yifan resists the urge to groan when Yixing turns around to greet him with a bright smile; his well-kissed lips and the blossoming red marks Luhan has left on Yixing's pale skin is making him feel _things_ , but he's not about to provide Luhan with the satisfaction of knowing that he's incredibly turned on right now. Luhan will never let him live it down. 

Besides, two can play that game. 

With a smirk of equal magnitude, Yifan ambles closer towards the bed, watching appreciatively as Yixing mouths at the skin of Luhan's neck, and he realises that Luhan's pupils are blown wide from lust when he gets close enough. "Do you know–" Yifan starts, pauses, swallows, when Luhan chooses that moment to let out a sensual moan. Yixing's incredibly soft and pliant in his lap, letting Luhan run his fingers up his sides. "–that this is considered treason of the highest order, for Consorts to be fooling around with each other without the Emperor's knowledge?" 

His sentence doesn't seem to deter even _Yixing_ , and Yifan honestly isn't surprised that Luhan has been teaching him all the naughtiest possible things to do to Yifan. Yixing merely drapes himself on top of Luhan and smiles at Yifan again, letting Luhan push his robes down to reveal the smooth expanse of his shoulders. Yifan notices with great interest that he isn't wearing an underrobe. "Han _gege_ tells me you already know about us, Yifan." He comments, and Yifan swallows again when Yixing draws his bottom lip between his teeth. 

"Yes, he does," Luhan concurs, but he's still kissing a wet trail down Yixing's chest, making the younger man shudder in his hold. Yifan is _really_ turned on right now. "I've tried to talk to him about letting you join us, but he doesn't want _us_ to tire you out." 

There's a glint in Luhan's eyes which tells Yifan he remembers what Yifan had told him, that he'd been extremely aroused watching Luhan and Yixing make out in Yixing's room, and he's probably going to milk it for all its worth. Luhan had also been hinting that he wanted Yixing to join them in the bedroom, but Yifan had been hesitant, with Yixing's health being less than satisfactory. He'd struck a promise with Luhan, though, to have Yixing with them once he gets better, and Luhan had been incredibly obedient so far. 

And then Yifan's pulse races when he finally realises the implication behind Yixing's presence in Yifan's chambers today – the Imperial Healer must have given him a clean bill of health. Yifan takes another step closer to the bed, where Luhan and Yixing are still tangled together. From his new vantage point, Yifan hums appreciatively at the sight of two distinct bulges beneath Luhan's and Yixing's robes. Yixing's silk robe, in particular, has a telltale stain of precum soaking its front, and Yifan has to restrain himself from jumping Yixing right then and there. 

But of _course_ Yixing has to make Yifan's life difficult, when he climbs off Luhan's lap to kneel on Yifan's bed, sucking on his index finger with a coy look on his face. "I've had you and Han _gege_ separately. Can't I have you together now? _Ge_ said you promised–" 

It's the final straw for Yifan, who cups Yixing's face with his broad hands and pulls him in for a searing kiss despite the awkward angle, biting and nipping on Yixing's well-kissed lips. He opens his eyes in utter surprise, however, when he can taste _Luhan_ on Yixing's tongue, and his muddled mind slowly piece the parts together to figure out that Yixing had sucked Luhan off just moments prior, making him moan into Yixing's mouth again. Luhan, who's eager not to get left out of the action, pulls Yifan to sit on the bed by his waist, before nibbling his way up Yifan's jawline to his earlobe, before catching the flesh between his teeth. 

"I'd made sure to prep our beloved Yixing up for you, _Your Majesty_ ," Luhan whispers into his ear, sending delicious shudders down the length of Yifan's spine, and Yifan presses into Luhan's touch when Luhan slips his hand beneath Yifan's robes. 

Yifan takes the opportunity to kiss Luhan in gratitude, before lowering Yixing onto the bed, untying the knot that holds his dishevelled robes together. Yixing's completely naked beneath his robes, a beautiful flush decorating his skin up to his heaving chest, and his cock is already curling upwards against his abdomen, thick and heavy and leaking. It makes Yifan's mouth dry, but Yifan has enough patience for this. He makes slow work of Yixing, opting instead to capture his mouth with yet another open-mouthed kiss, his hands caressing Yixing's sides in a gentle manner, and Yifan decides that he likes the way Yixing's trembling beneath him, even more so under Luhan's scrutiny. 

It's with such thoughts that Yifan finally detaches himself from Yixing's mouth, letting his Consort hold his biceps in an almost-painful grip as he makes his way down to Yixing's chest, before sucking a pert nipple between his lips and biting gently, but the stimulation is more than enough to make Yixing arch into him with a loud, breathless moan. Thanks to Luhan, Yixing's already much too sensitive to every touch, every kiss, every puff of hot breath to his sweat-matted skin, and he positively writhes beneath Yifan, trying to get more friction against his cock. To make things easier for Yixing, Luhan actually circles behind Yifan to untie his robes and underrobes for Yixing, leaving Yifan's abdomen exposed, and Yifan's eyes roll to the back of his head from pleasure when Yixing rubs his cock against Yifan's skin. And, as though pleased with his handiwork, Luhan pushes Yifan's robes aside to reveal a greater expanse of his skin, before planting teasing kisses down the curve of Yifan's spine, the way he knows Yifan loves it on lazy mornings when he's lying prone on the bed, and Luhan's more than eager to get Yifan inside of him. 

That's when another idea strikes Yifan's mind, and he pulls away from planting kisses on Yixing's skin to pay attention to Luhan's lips instead.

As expected, Luhan's lips fit perfectly against his, having memorised each crease and curve over the six long years they've been married, and Yifan _knows_ Luhan's trying to show Yixing the ways to rile Yifan up with a simple kiss, when he reaches up to caress the crook of Yifan's neck the way Yifan likes it, before tugging the back of Yifan's hair, earning a soft hiss from Yifan's lips. Luhan continues to take and take and take some more from Yifan, pressing his body flush against Yifan's, allowing Yifan to strip him of his clothes and leaving him naked on the bed. Luhan's equally quick at getting Yifan's robes off him, and Yifan has to remember to inhale through his nose when his cock brushes against Luhan's. 

Pulling Luhan impossibly closer to him as he laves at the shell of Luhan's ear, Yifan whispers a mischievous, "I want you and Yixing to fuck in front of me," in Luhan's ear, and the guttural moan and the twitching of Luhan's cock against Yifan's is a sure sign that he wants this as much as Yifan wants to see it. With one final open-mouthed kiss, Luhan breaks away from Yifan and climbs towards Yixing, who has been touching himself languidly while watching Yifan and Luhan's exchange of tongues. 

It's at times like these that Yifan's grateful that he has a large enough bed to accommodate all three of them, and he moves to sit by the side, waiting impatiently for his two Consorts to start the show. Luhan doesn't disappoint, of course, immediately pinning Yixing's arms on either side of him before Yixing even gets to wrap his mind around their plans. There have been several instances where Yifan would find himself getting fucked by Luhan instead of the other way round, but he's never found Luhan hotter than he looks now, dominating Yixing completely. He makes a mental note to let Luhan rough him up some time. 

Luhan picks up from where Yifan had left off earlier, latching his hot mouth around Yixing's nipple once again, making Yixing arch into him in pleasure when he bites gently. Yixing's reduced to a begging mess rather quickly, writhing beneath Luhan as his expert tongue darts out to swirl around his nipple before licking his way down Yixing's abdomen. Yixing keens the loudest when Luhan plants a kiss on the tip of his leaking cock, but firm hands are holding Yixing's hips down as Luhan tries to nudge Yixing's legs apart. Yixing merely sobs with want, complying wordlessly and letting Luhan leave more imprints on the insides of his pale thighs as his fingers dig into the silken sheets beneath him, crumpling them even more. 

Yifan strokes himself slowly, watching with keen eyes as Luhan pushes Yixing's legs apart, and he inhales sharply when Luhan noses at Yixing's testicles and down to his perineum before dipping his tongue past Yixing's tight ring of muscles. A loud moan is pulled out of Yixing's well-kissed lips as Luhan fucks him languidly with his tongue, which in turn sends more blood rushing into Yifan's cock. It seems that Luhan is well-prepared for today's session, too, when he produces a bottle of scented oil from behind the pillow, slicking his fingers up with a copious amount even while his tongue is hard at work, pulling more sinful noises out of Yixing. When he deems Yixing ready enough, Luhan introduces the first digit along with his tongue, humming appreciatively when Yixing clenches around him. Yifan strokes himself a little faster now, fingers pinching at his own nipple as he watches the scene unfold before him.

For someone who's as impatient as Luhan is when it comes to sex, he's surprisingly taking his own sweet time today in prepping Yixing up, scissoring Yixing slowly until Yixing's keening and begging for him to _please, give me more_. Yifan knows for sure that Luhan has found Yixing's prostate when Yixing arches high off the bed when Luhan crooks his fingers in him, and Yixing's already scrabbling to grab hold of Luhan's shoulders in order to keep himself anchored on the bed. Luhan pulls away from Yixing when he begins fucking himself down on Luhan's fingers and tongue in earnest, moving up instead to catch Yixing's lips in yet another searing kiss, nipping and biting at his already swollen mouth while his fingers continue to work Yixing open. By the time Luhan has three fingers deep in him, Yixing is already panting hard and flushed a pretty, deep shade of red.

"Can I?" Luhan flashes a _look_ at Yifan just then, quietly seeking for permission, and Yifan merely nods, wanting to see for himself how two of the people he loves the most would look when they're having passionate sex. Luhan works with clinical efficiency, coating the entire length of his cock with scented oil before positioning himself between Yixing's legs again.

"Please, Han _gege_ –" Yixing almost whimpers when Luhan pulls his fingers out of him, leaving him clenching around thin air, and Yifan can see how Yixing's cock twitches when he props himself up on his elbows and finds Luhan staring down at him with a smouldering gaze.

 _Please_ , Yixing says again, only to whimper and sob when Luhan finally pushes into Yixing. Yifan moans in tandem, fingers squeezing his cock a little harder at the sight, because _fuck_ he's never seen something that's more arousing than this, except maybe when Luhan had fingered himself open before letting Yifan take him hard.

Yifan finds himself wondering just how often Luhan and Yixing have been having sex together without Yifan's knowledge, when Yixing reaches down to pull his knees close to his chest like it's second nature, letting Luhan deepen the angle of his penetration. Luhan is as quiet as ever when he's the one doing the fucking, brows furrowed in concentration as he tries to find the perfect angle to get Yixing crying out loud beneath him, and when he does, Luhan snaps his hips forward repeatedly, relentlessly, and he offers no resistance when Yixing tries to fuck himself down on Luhan's cock.

The closer Yixing gets to his orgasm, the louder his moans are, and the more erratically his hips move. Luhan seems to grasp that fact very well indeed, and he pauses for a moment to flip Yixing onto his stomach, getting him to kneel on all fours before thrusting forth once again, pounding into him over and over. The combination of wet slapping sounds and the sight of Luhan's cock disappearing inch by inch into Yixing is far too much for Yifan to handle, and he comes with a muffled groan into his own hand, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he rides out his orgasm.

Through the haze clouding his mind, Yifan can vaguely hear Luhan urging Yixing on with quiet commands of _come for me, Yixing, come for me_ , and he reopens his eyes just in time to see Luhan fisting Yixing's cock. With several expert twists of his wrists, Yixing's already coming with a broken moan, collapsing onto the pillows in a sweaty mess as his hips continue to jerk weakly backwards to meet Luhan's. Luhan also comes with several more thrusts, collapsing on top of Yixing and pressing soothing kisses into the curve of his back as he rides out his orgasm.

 

It's a damn beautiful sight indeed.

Yixing has a sated smile when Luhan turns him over to peck him on his lips and to rain praises on him, but then they're exchanging a silent word with each other before turning their almost-predatory gazes on Yifan. Yifan swallows when they begin making their way over to him, and he can't even move an inch when Yixing parks himself in Yifan's lap, nuzzling at his neck and caressing his torso with feather-light touches dancing across his skin. Luhan, on the other hand, has other plans on his mind, and Yifan's softened cock twitches again when Luhan picks up Yifan's soiled hand and drags his tongue flat across his palm, lapping up the drying remnants of Yifan's cum. He even makes a show of sucking Yifan's digits clean, before licking at his lips sensuously, humming in appreciation as he says, "My favourite taste."

Deciding that he wants to punish Luhan a little, Yifan pulls Yixing up to meld their lips together, licking his way into Yixing's mouth before sucking on his tongue, pulling more whimpers out of Yixing. Yixing's even more pliant in his hold now, when some of the tension has been lifted off him, and he wraps his arms around Yifan's neck to steady himself, seemingly more than contented to be making out with Yifan as he grinds his ass against Yifan's cock.

Yifan doesn't _really_ get what Luhan had meant when he'd told Yifan he had taken care to prepare Yixing for him, until his cock is completely hard once again and Yixing's already wrapping his slender fingers around Yifan's length. He isn't even given the opportunity to ask what Yixing intends to do, when Yixing's already lifting his lips and sinking himself onto Yifan's cock in one swift motion, Luhan's cum that coats his walls providing enough lubrication for the easy slide.

Luhan has a smirk on his face when Yifan casts a look at him, and his brain almost goes haywire when he notices how Luhan has his legs spread wide, scented oil-coated fingers disappearing into himself bit by slow bit. _Fuck_ , he's forgotten that Luhan knows how much Yifan _loves_ it when he works himself open, and Luhan doesn't pull his moves, plunging two digits into himself and moaning loudly at the stretch, head thrown back to reveal a smooth, tantalising stretch of his neck. Yifan kind of wants to sink his teeth into Luhan's flesh, if only because Luhan gets incredibly aroused when Yifan's marking him without mercy, but Yixing's relentless in getting Yifan worked up, grinding his hips in deliberate circles and clenching his muscles intermittently, making Yifan's breath come out in short puffs.

Not wanting to miss a single second of the show Luhan's putting up for him, Yifan moves to nibble at Yixing's shoulders instead, marking him in a way _Luhan_ loves, and he keeps his keen eyes on Luhan who's now fucking himself with three fingers, his free hand moving to rub at the head of his cock and spreading precum down his shaft. It's common knowledge that Yifan absolutely loves to leave his mark in the most obvious of places, a wordless declaration to the world that they're _his_ , and Yifan does just that by pulling Yixing's wrist towards his mouth and sucking on his pale skin, pulling away with a soft 'pop' once he's satisfied enough.

What he doesn't expect, though, is for Yixing to be absolutely turned on by Yifan's ministrations, and he comes without warning, crying loudly against the crook of Yifan's neck where he'd been pressing open-mouthed kisses onto sweat-slicked skin and painting Yifan's abdomen white.

Amused, Yifan lets out a fond laugh as he lowers an extremely embarrassed Yixing onto the bed, letting him lie on his back. Yixing reaches up to brush Yifan's hair out of the way before cupping his cheek with a warm hand, his smile a little exhausted. What he says next, though, has Yifan spluttering. "Fuck me, Yifan. I can take this."

It doesn't seem like there'll be any shortage of surprises any time soon.

"I definitely did _not_ teach him to say that," Luhan defends himself when Yifan fixes him with a look, but he wastes no time in crawling over to join Yifan and Yixing on their side of the bed.

Yifan wonders if it's really a good idea to put Luhan and Yixing together, when he sees them exchanging yet another silent look before Yixing's turning around to go on all fours once again without letting Yifan's cock slip out of him. He thrusts his ass high up in the air, and buries his face in Luhan's lap when Luhan shifts close enough to him. Luhan's fingers are gentle when he brushes them against Yixing's cheek, coaxing Yixing's mouth open before guiding his hard cock to Yixing's lips.

Yifan swears he almost comes from the sight alone, but Luhan distracts him right at that moment by leaning for a kiss, which Yifan is more than delighted to oblige him with. They both keep their hands on Yixing's back, rubbing soothing circles into his flesh as Yifan begins fucking into him in earnest, and Yifan swallows up Luhan's moans when Yixing wraps his mouth around Luhan's cock and _sucks_. Having been at the receiving end of Yixing's blowjobs several times so far, Yifan can almost imagine how Luhan feels to have Yixing taking his cock into his mouth. Yixing picks things up at an amazing speed, after all, and he knows exactly how to use his tongue, licking up the underside of Luhan's cock before swirling his tongue around the glans, then dipping it right into Luhan's slit to lap up the precum leaking out of Luhan's tip.

With a perfectly angled thrust, Yifan finds Yixing's prostate and sends him teetering off the edge of his second orgasm for the morning, staining the sheets white. Seeing how exhausted Yixing already is, Yifan shares a look with Luhan, before they both pepper Yixing with fond kisses, pulling out of Yixing on both ends.

"Watch us instead," Yifan tells Yixing with another kiss on his nose when Yixing whines a little in discontent. He knows Luhan shares his sentiments of not tiring Yixing out even more than they already have when Luhan smiles at him. Yixing did, after all, just recuperate from his ill health which Yifan had been extremely angry and worried to hear it so belatedly. He's only thankful that Yixing life is no longer in danger right now; they can work on including him more when he gets even better.

Once they're sure Yixing's comfortably propped up on Yifan's many pillows, Luhan drags Yifan over to him with a sharp tug of his wrist, crashing his lips roughly against Yifan's. Sure, there may be times when Yifan would make sweet love to Luhan, but he likes it best when they're being rough with each other, because Luhan would throw the rest of his reservations out of the window, forgetting the world around them as they push and pull until one of them breaks. Luhan had always growled at Yifan when he would handle Luhan with care, telling him that _I'm not a porcelain doll, I won't break_ , but now that Yifan has witnessed what Luhan is actually capable of doing, it's a lot easier to forget about it.

Yifan hisses again when Luhan grabs a fistful of his hair and _tugs_ , whispering harshly to _fuck me hard_ in Yifan's ear. Yifan's more than glad to comply, pulling Luhan up into his arms and slamming him against the wall behind them. It's a good thing Luhan had prepped himself up enough before this, and Yifan doesn't hesitate to fuck right into Luhan when his husband wraps his legs around Yifan's waist.

 

Luhan's grip on his shoulders is bruising, but the pleasure-pain only serves to spur Yifan on further, mouth latched onto Luhan's prominent collarbones as he thrusts methodically past Luhan's tight rim of muscles. It's with several more thrusts that Yifan comes for the second time that evening, and Yifan helps Luhan along even in the throes of his orgasm high, jerking Luhan off to completion.

They both laugh when they finally turn their attention back to Yixing, realising that their new lover is already hard _again_ from the show. Leaving him like this is a bit cruel, so Yifan and Luhan walk hand in hand towards Yixing again, kneeling on the bed beside him before sucking on the head of his cock _together_. It doesn't take much to get Yixing off for the third time that morning, when he's already so sensitive, and they both catch as much of Yixing's cum as they possibly can, before squirming up to join Yixing in a boneless cuddle, alternatively kissing him languidly and letting Yixing have a taste of himself and each other on their tongues.

There's nothing else Yifan could hope for, when they're cuddling on his bed like this – all three of them, with Yixing in the middle, a happy smile decorating his lips – in their post-orgasm bliss. Several months ago, when Yixing had first entered the Forbidden City as Yifan's new Consort, Yifan wouldn't even have dared to dream of this day, when Luhan had been so upset with his decision and had been hell-bent on making Yixing's life difficult. Yifan still isn't quite sure what has happened between Luhan and Yixing for their relationship to change so drastically, but he isn't one to complain. Having both his husband of six years and his new spouse to get along well is everything he could have wished for, and his smile grows wider when he hears Luhan say, "I love you. _Both_ of you. So much." – if only because Yifan knows that Luhan isn't one to express his fondness for someone so openly. Not so soon, at least.

And it's with such thoughts that Yifan scoots closer to Yixing, close enough for him to reach over and embrace Luhan as well, considering the length of his arm. His heart feels warm when Luhan wraps his arms around Yixing's body as well, pulling him close and burying his nose in Yixing's hair.

This, Yifan thinks, is the perfect family he has always been dreaming of.

 

(It's not until half an hour later than the panicked voice of a guard comes calling for Yifan's attention, telling him that Song Qian has gone into labour. Both Luhan and Yixing exchange fond looks with each other before bursting into delighted laughter, dragging Yifan out of bed with them despite the exhaustion that plagues them and getting themselves dressed and presentable in record time, before heading for Song Qian's living quarters together – with Luhan and Yixing on either side of him, fingers laced together.

 

Time to receive a brand new member into their family.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For starters, this is actually my first foray into OT3 smut (OT3 anything, really), so I do apologise if it's not up to par as compared to other fics you might have read. Also, I am well aware that the Forbidden City is actually located in Beijing and not Chang'an (now Xi'an), but let's just overlook that for the sake of the story ^^
> 
> This fic was actually started in November 2013, which was two years and three months ago, and it has been a looooooooong journey since then. I'd just like to thank those of you who have been with me from the very beginning, and those of you who stumbled upon in time you'll see in the middle of my novel-writing journey and stuck with me until now. I know I haven't been the best at updating in the beginning, but I sure hope I've made up for it towards the ending chapters ^^ If there are certain things which you would like to seek clarification about, feel free to drop me a comment.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for having read this humble work of mine until the end! You guys are the greatest :D


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